A Court of Desolation and Despair
by jacklynlew
Summary: The pairing story to A Court of Beasts and Beauties in Edward's POV. Living in a cursed land of magic, Edward finds salvation from a most unexpected person. Could this human, although an unwilling stranger, be the one to help him escape the demons of his past and accept the man he was fated to become? Fantasy AU, rated M for future lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I'm so excited to start this sort of sequel to A Court of Beasts and Beauties in Edward's POV, and a day before A Court of Wings and Ruin releases! For those Sarah J Maas fans, I can probably promise parallels between this fic and her new book. Updates will be every Monday, and thank you to my beta SunFlowerfran. And otherwise, I hope you enjoy.**

 **I do not own the Court of Thornes and Roses Series**

 _Fifty years, Edward, I curse you with fifty years of living death…because if I can't have you, then no one ever will._

Edward's eyes shot open, but the words only continued to repeat over and over inside his skull, squeezing his mind like a vice.

The recurring nightmare only served as the reminder that he surely didn't need, at least not today.

He knew the bitch would be happy that she starred in his subconscious; Gods know she tormented all his every waking hours.

Letting loose a groan, Edward barely roused himself from bed only to find the sun lifting above the horizon.

He squinted as a sliver of light broke through the sky to officially start a new day. But it wasn't just any day, for it started the final length of the deadline that was set.

There was only one year left.

Edward watched numbly as the sun's beams bathed the land in warmth, but instead of a symbol of hope and a new beginning, it only served as a reminder of what he had lost.

Glancing to his wardrobe, all he saw was shades of gray. To his bedspread, more dull shadows. Apparently, it hadn't been enough for Victoria to take his magic; she also had to steal every ounce of color from his life.

So Edward could only actually guess what the sunrise looked like.

And with color gone, so was warmth. Or perhaps that was the feeling left after being drained of his power. Either way, Edward was only a shell of the male he had once been.

The instant Victoria had leeched out all his magic, his heart had stopped pumping, and his skin had turned a sickly gray while his bright eyes had gone completely black.

There was a time he was the High Lord of two courts in his continent, a breach between two great lands. But now he was left with nothing but guilt and his obsession to save his people.

Even though, for all intents and purposes, he was dead.

But when there was no happiness, no lick of anything but the endless depth of apathy, Edward did feel as if he was already in his own personal hell. But perhaps the only reason he was alive was because Victoria wished it.

It had been a while since he had even allowed himself to think of who he used to be; usually having enough discipline not to allow himself to wallow in such ideas.

But alas, today was a particular day, and he had no idea what he was going to do about it.

There was one year left, and his land and court were only suffering more each day; all because he refused to submit.

And even when she threatened to curse them all, he and his spiteful pride told her to rot in hell, which of course was why they were in this mess in the first place.

But if Edward had one solace, one sliver of happiness that he continued to cling to for dear life, even after everything, was that he had kept Victoria from completely destroying their world.

He would doom himself over and over if it meant his people were kept safe.

 _Oh stop moping, and just confront the witch already…_

Edward squeezed his eyes shut at the voice ... _his_ other voice that had once been used to enter his victim's minds. There had been a time, when, with a flutter of his magic Edward was once able to know their every wish and memory, and if need be, to control them. But now the voice only served as his personal demon.

"No, it would just lead to more destruction," he groaned, not caring which servants heard him talking to himself.

 _No, you're meant for more than this._

"No," he shuddered into his hands, "No, stop talking!"

 _Give in, Give in, GIVE IN!_

Edward clenched his teeth, ready to claw his own eyes when there was a knock on the door.

"What?" he growled, only to find Jasper's wary face.

"Excuse me," his friend grumbled, "Sorry to disturb you, but they're acting up again."

Edward let loose a sigh, "Damn it," could he just have an uneventful day for once?

"l guess I'll have to take care of them myself."

"But—"

"It's fine, Jasper." Edward snapped, pushing himself from the bed's edge to throw on the first shirt he found, "I needed to let off some steam anyway."  
"Am I supposed to accept your foul attitude, just because today is the anniversary?" Jasper replied.

Edward leveled a glare at his friend before he wisely let himself out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Trees flashed behind him; the rocks, earth, and plants serving as nothing but mild inconveniences as he propelled himself further through the dark forest. This was the only way he could experience freedom from the feeling of being cooped up in that wretched castle.

Thankfully, the woods of the Spring Court were expansive, or Edward would have gone mad a long time ago.

Finally, he saw the black cloaks of the Oillteil, the greasy, foul creatures that Victoria enjoyed throwing his way. And even though he still hadn't figured out exactly why she kept sending monsters to him for slaughter, it at least gave him an outlet for his anger.

The Oillteil were nimble, he had to give them that, but they were also stupid, not having a mind of sense beyond their instinct.

He caught one by their slithery hide and slammed it against a rock with one hand, "No—" the creature didn't have time to finish as Edward sliced off its head with one blow.

Thankfully, he still had access to wisps of his magic, enough to use his talons whenever he liked. And they sure came in handy when one fellow monster or another needed beheading.

The other two tried weaving through the brush to escape him, but with a bounding leap, Edward met them at the other end with a feral grin.

"Stop—" again, before it could utter another syllable, he had the last of them gasping by their throats. But he only looked at them with dead eyes. Oh, how beyond bored he was with it all.

"Listen to us, High Lord, we have something you will want to hear," one managed to choke out in resonse.

Edward only forced his grip tighter, making their pathetic faces clench in pain. But the leader still pressed on, "Even you cannot ignore our news."

"Speak," was all he said.

"We come bearing a message," the monsters shared a slithering glance at one another.

"I don't have the patience for games. Talk, or I kill you now." Edward wished he could see into their minds and pull out the information himself, but since he couldn't, he would have to settle for the hard way.

"Victoria knows where you hide your mate," the first one spewed through his teeth, "And she wants you to know that only the human holds the key to your freedom."

The very sun itself seemed to freeze with the lethal calm that consumed Edward; and after years of feeling nothing but numbness, his body started sparking back to life.

He promised himself never to think of her beyond that one day, eighteen years ago. But he hadn't even entertained the thought that she could have been the key.

No, it couldn't be…he had driven himself insane hunting for any possible loophole; every bylaw and countless legends had never mentioned it. So much so, that it drove him to the brink of apathy.

But now, having heard that there was still _hope._ Just that ounce of possibility made his heart lighten.

 _You are too late. You are too stupid, too cowardly—_ His demon voiced quickly responded. Perhaps the outcome from only being locked in the Spring Court with no outlet to his powers. But Edward only focused harder on the sniveling creatures he held in each hand.

"Why has Victoria chosen now to reveal this? Tell me, or I will enjoy ripping you to pieces." He said darkly.

"Our Queen reveals nothing. Everything is the way she wishes," the second one's voice broke into a howl as Edward swiped its head off in one clean stroke. And before breaking a moment of concentration, he pressed the second one against a tree.

"That was the wrong answer," he slammed the creature against a nearby rock, making it heave for breath, but he only pushed harder, "I know the bitch wants something for the information. And you'd be wise to tell me," he ordered.

"That, _High Lord,"_ it drew out the name sarcastically, "You will find out soon enough." The creature somehow smiled through the blood that oozed from its nose,

Edward just killed the being with one quick snap.

Then he was running.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What should I do?" Edward slammed his hand against the stone wall. He was back in his room, doing his best not to pace a hole in the floor, "What am I _supposed_ to do? This could be a trap. Victoria's toying with us, I just know it, Jazz."

"Either way," His friend picked at something at his sleeve, "You have to go to the human realm, Edward. Even if there's a minuscule chance that she could save us, you have to take it. You'll hate yourself if you don't."

"Please, tell me something I don't know," Edward groaned.

Jasper only shrugged, "Then why do you hesitate?"

Edward peered outside the window and mulled over the answer. But all he was thinking was how he could be there in a few hours if he ran.

"Beside the fact that Victoria probably plans our doom by the minute, the Gods also decided to saddle me with a _human_ mate," Edward threw his hands, "How could someone like her save us when even I can't? You know how _weak_ humans are? And they _hate_ faeries, Jasper. What motivation would she have to even lift a finger to help our people? She would enjoy our suffering more."

Jasper held up a finger, "None of us can choose who the Gods fates for us, you should know that better than anyone."

"I see we're not holding anything back tonight," Edward repressed a growl, "But we're talking about a girl here, Jasper. Not some magical soul mate."

Jasper only shrugged.

Edward's mother hadn't been able to choose the mating bond when it came to his father. The man was an absolute tyrant when it came to his kingdom _and_ his wife, yet somehow she chose to stay with him even up to her death. And it left a mark on Edward. He would never mate as long as he lived.

"How can I even retrieve a human?" Edward said with a sigh, "I'm banished to the Spring Courts, and she lives in the _human_ realm."

"Their lands are still technically under your power. Before your father, there was a time when the Spring Court was allied with the humans," Jasper reminded.

Edward tried not to roll his eyes at the fact. Now the Fae only shared contempt towards the other race after the war, an opinion the humans shared as well. " Thank you, but I need to make this decision alone."

Only after hearing the near-silent footsteps of Jasper leaving, did Edward allow himself to again look out.

It was a moonless night as he gazed out at the barren gardens ... barren, thanks to him. And it would only get worse if he did nothing.

His mind ached with the decision: should he take a human for the sake of his people? Or leave her to her own life but perhaps waste the only opportunity he'll ever have of breaking the curse?

 _Fool._

The voice mocked.

 _Idiot._

Edward groaned at the demon voice, wishing more than ever that he could shift into his beast form, if only to be without his consciousness for a while.

 _Coward,_ it spat back.

 _You know what needs to be done._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward barely had enough sense to clean himself up: but he managed to wipe the blood from his face and hands from the Oillteil. But that was all.

He told no one and did nothing before he was running again.

And after spending hours sprinting through the woods, he had found her measly village.

Thankfully, he was present enough to know he needed something else than his thrice-slept in shirt and trousers if he wanted to blend in. The only quick fix was breaking into a nobleman's house to retrieve the first shirt and pair of pants he could find: a high-risk move in a town that spoke legends of creatures like him.

Edward couldn't help but notice the iron swords and daggers that scattered the nobleman's house. And he couldn't help but wonder if _she_ put stock in any similar weapons against faeries.

He knew the stories that spread through villages about his kind after the faerie world lost contact with the human one. And after half a millennia of discourse, those same stories that had once been passed down with pride, had slowly been twisted into fear.

Fear for Fae kind.

No doubt if anyone caught sight of Edward's lethargic skin and black eyes, he would most likely insight a manhunt. Which was the last thing he needed right now.

So he made sure he kept hidden, even as snow was already coating the ground, prefacing the harsh winter that was sure to come.

But as Edward finally approached her home; a place he hadn't seen in nearly eighteen years: the house was dark and empty.

He cursed colorfully, rushing the front door to try and get any sign of her or the family.

"Looking for the Swans?" A voice called from behind.

Edward spun to see a man, finely dressed in a rich overcoat and top hat. Apparently, he had been so overcome in his pursuit he hadn't sensed the human's approach.

The man was weak and clearly not a threat as he observed Edward openly, stiffening slightly when the human noticed how odd his eyes and skin were in the dim lamp light.

Edward blinked against the thought of killing him right then and there so save rumors from spreading, but instead, he forced his face into something pleasant.

"I am an old family friend. Tell me, did they move to a different part of town?"

"I'm afraid so," the stranger said warily, "Their father came onto some hard times, now they live on the other side of town,"

"Really?" Edward pressed his lips together, "Uh, thank you."

The man scurried away, hopefully only back home and not to the town square to start an uprising. But either way, he left Edward to try and figure why Charlie Swan had uprooted his family.

And where he had taken them.

Edward turned back to the old house. Slowly, he ran a hand along the door, the smooth wood somehow warmer than his skin. But when he pressed against the handle, it creaked open.

It revealed a lavish foyer; marble floors spread under finely dressed walls, but cobwebs masked the ceilings, and white sheets covered dusty furniture. Clearly, they had been gone for not months but _years._

His silent steps still echoed against the bare walls as he climbed the stairs, observing the home he _thought_ he had left her in. But if Charlie had fallen onto hard times, where would they have gone?

Edward sniffed the air like an idiot, but he only had one way to find her… so if his Fae nose would lead him to her, then he would use it no matter how animalistic he felt.

Finally, he reached the last room, every crevice filled with dust and cobwebs, but a particularly different scent clung to the furniture: sweet and floral.

It was _her._

Then Edward was again running.

After searching what felt like every neighborhood in the bloody town, he stood where the smell had led him.

It was a dirty, run-down place; where homes were pressed too close, where the streets were lined with excrement and animal guts.

And after years of harboring nothing but cobwebs and dust inside, Edward felt as if he was going to be sick.

The place so brutal and ugly, and it actually made him want to crawl out of his skin and kill _something_. But somehow, over the smell of rotting meat and shit, he still smelled _her_ ... The girl; the human salvation for his people.

Easily slinking into the shadows, he made sure he was untraceable by Victoria before reaching the house. But it was more like a hovel, so worn and broken down it was a miracle it was still standing.

Edward could barely scrounge up enough restraint to knock instead of barging right in and stuffing her in his arms. But, he knocked anyway. And all he could do was wait, shifting nervously as he heard a shuffle nearing the door.

Gods boil him; he could sense her somewhere in that house. A living breathing person, not just some imaginary figure he had kept stuffed away for nearly two decades.

Yet every essence of her, from the wood of the shack, to the snow outside their door was seeping into his senses, and it made him feel… unsettled: something Edward had never felt in his five hundred years.

His ears pricked to a male voice before an uneven gait made its way to the door. As it groaned open, Edward beheld a man near his fifties, ridden with a haggard face and gray hair that aged him even more.

The human looked as if he had weathered the worst a life could offer, and it took a while for Edward to recognize this as Charlie Swan.

The man who had once been successful and strong when he met them eighteen years ago was now weak and frail as he gazed up at Edward in horror.

"I didn't expect you so early." Charlie's voice shook with false bravado as Edward ignored all manners and stepped past him.

But as he stepped into the pathetic interior, he felt nothing but boredom. So he didn't care how he was perceived or what story he had to maintain to keep in accordance with their deal eighteen years prior. He just growled, "I gave you a day, now where is she?"

It was too dark inside that shack, only a few candles were able to cast looming shadows on the tiny walls, but he saw Charlie's eyes grow wide and his mouth bobbed.  
"What do you mean a day? You come in here after years of nothing, and you expect me to give up my daughter just like that?"

Edward ignored Charlie and glanced to the other side of the house where he sensed three bodies hiding behind a closed door, "I need her now, and I don't need to explain it to you," he grumbled.

"I need more time, you just can't—" Charlie sputtered.

Edward held up his hand. He needed to move this along because Victoria could be closing in on them for every second he wasted.

"No, that was our deal. Don't push me further if you value your daughter's life," Edward warned. And he hoped that was the end of it, but Charlie only fell to his knees.

Edward raised his brows when the father begged one last time with clasped hands; but his ears were turned when he heard someone on the other side of the house take in a sharp breath.

And before he knew what his own feet were doing, Edward was across the pathetic living area in mere seconds.

And it didn't matter that the one and only person the stars had fated for him was just on the other side of the door, his brain openly recoiled at the idea.

She was nothing more than a tool towards their freedom, and the mating bond didn't exist. Not between them. The mere idea that anyone could _belong_ to anyone else made him scoff. He saw that same bond stretched to the brink with his mother and father; let alone with a fickle human heart.

But despite his hatred at the Gods, Edward was at least curious to see her.

As he prowled closer, he swore that his breath started to slow, and his nerves started to tingle just as his hair stood up on end.

He brushed it off as nothing but natural reactions to the hostile situation, until the door creaked open to reveal nothing he had ever expected.

Edward couldn't breathe, couldn't _think_ , as she stood frozen in front of him.

He vaguely took note of two other bodies cowering the corner but—the girl that stood before him was so small and unbelievably breakable.

His supposed mate; apparently the one and only person the Gods had picked as his equal for _him_ was barely as tall as his chest and severely undernourished.

His eyes dimly observed how there were bones that stuck out in places that shouldn't, her shoulders and collarbones were too prominent.

"What's your name, girl?" He managed to grumble.

He did his best to shake the feeling of her eyes on him, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling deep in his stomach.

Was it pity?

"Bella," Her voice was stronger than he would have guessed, but when he finally met her gaze, he hated the Gods even more.

Edward saw his own reflection in her eyes. After years of avoiding mirrors, and denial, he was forced to see the gray face and depthless eyes that were the result of the curse.

He looked like a monster.

But he only had to remind himself why he was the way he was ... why he was here. This was not a rescue for her, but a salvation for his people. But even Edward knew that was going to be easier said than done.

"What do you want with us?" Bella asked warily, but he also heard the hint of defiance in her tone.

"You obviously got your courage from your mother," he noted. And when she didn't answer, he only continued, "To answer your question, I am here to collect you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you." He said, searching for something to tell this girl, anything to avoid Edward from having to drag her out against her will. He had long forgotten the bargain he had ignorantly struck with his father. That was before he had lost all hope.

Edward dimly heard Charlie let out a whimper from behind him. Yet the man didn't even take one step to protect his daughter.

But Edward was just so bored with it all; bored from the father's sniffling and the sound of the sisters whimpering that he had to make up _something_ to get Bella to come with him.

And perhaps it was the fact that his own father also did nothing to protect his son, but either way, Edward suddenly knew what his explanation would entail.

"Your father was unwise in abusing my hospitality during his travels." The lie spun itself easily enough as Edward turned back to Bella, but she just narrowed her eyes.

"I can see that you are confused. Allow me to explain," he gestured lazily to Charlie, "When your father broke into my estate, stole food and took advantage of my good-natured servants, I demanded he pay with his life. When he refused, I offered an alternative solution: servitude from one of his children. And as you well know, that was a deal your father just couldn't pass up." Edward waited as she absorbed his words.

"Why me?" She asked after a beat of silence.

He shrugged. "I demanded either the youngest or most precious in your father's heart. You see, my kind can taste a lie."

Her eyes widened.

It was an exaggeration for sure, only a gifted Fae could taste lies, and Edward was not one of them. But it was also a tale that would make Bella second-guess her actions, and Edward needed to hurry this up before Victoria joined them.

"So when your father told me that was you, I knew he spoke truthfully," he said, hoping that her separation would be easier if she resented her father. After all, that had worked with Edward.

"Your kind?" She asked.

"A story for another time." He shrugged, too tired to elaborate, "So those are the terms. You can either agree to come with me without a fight, or I can force you. I urge you to choose the former."

He thought she would have started crying by now, but she only bit her lip in thought.

"How long do you think my father's life sentence would last?" It was such a unexpected question that Edward couldn't help but tilt his head.

"I mean," she continued, "A man like my father only has five more years left on his life, at the most. So shouldn't I only have to serve up to that? It's only logical," she crossed her arms at him.

"Nice try, but a life sentence is a life sentence, no matter how long it is," he chuckled darkly, but part of him had to give her credit for trying.

"If I agree to go without a fuss, will you promise that my family will be unharmed?"

He blinked once, and then twice, before taking her meaning; she thought he was going to kill her family.

"Fine." He waved his hand dismissively, but she pressed on.

"You swear on your life."

He could have groaned from watching her brow quirk in defiance. He would have never expected a human to be so bold, then again; she had no idea she was talking to the most powerful High Lord in history.

' _Once you were the most powerful High Lord in history,'_ the inner voice chided, ' _Now look at you, the prince of darkness is being out negotiated by a teenaged human,'_ it mocked.

Edward internalized a groan at the reminder before he brought his attention back to Bella.

"My Lady," He said, bending to give her an over-exaggerated bow, "I promise on all that I am and all that I honor, that your family with be unharmed."

From the clench of her jaw, Edward knew she had picked up that he was being facetious.

But she only squared her shoulders before stating, "Deal."

And the world could have been crumbling around them, mountains disintegrating; the sky plunging from the heavens, but all Edward would have felt was relief; real, pure, reprieve.

He was going to free his people.

"When do we leave?" She asked.

"Now," he turned towards the door, not caring how she gaped in surprise, "You have ten minutes to pack. Don't keep me waiting or I'll drag you out myself," he rumbled before stalking out the door.

Only after he heard her stomp to her room, did Edward fly into action.

On the way here, his head was so clouded he hadn't thought of transportation; and he had the inkling Bella would freeze to death if made to walk a night in the cold. As if her hatred toward him wasn't cold enough, he needed to make sure she stayed alive before he figured out how she worked into the curse.

Running to the nearest stables, Edward picked the most inconspicuous horse for them. But when he returned, there was no sign of Bella, as the father and sisters huddled together.

He just peered down at them, suddenly not having the energy to apologize or explain.

"Please," Charlie finally spoke, "Please, she is my youngest. Have mercy, please don't take her from me."

Edward opened his mouth, but before he could answer, his ears pricked to the quiet footsteps approaching.

Bella somehow seemed smaller with her thin traveling cloak draped across her shoulders, as she clutched a worn pack so close to her chest, Edward was sure the Gods themselves couldn't pry it from her.

But he only turned his gaze to the father, "Sir, do you want this to be the last thing your daughter remembers of you?"

As Charlie sniffled, it was an effort not to rip out the man's throat for what squalor he had dragged his family through. Nonetheless, Edward thought Bella deserved a proper goodbye.

"There, that wasn't so hard. Now find your bearings and embrace your daughter in farewell." Edward watched as she stood in a rigid hug; her face so void of emotion it made his stomach wrench. He recognized that expression; he felt that every single minute of every day.

"Don't trust him, Bella," Charlie hushed in warning, ignorantly assuming Edward couldn't hear, "Whatever you do. He's the last—"

"Enough." Edward snapped, finally finding the end to his patience.

The horse shifted under his legs, as Bella, ever so slowly turned to him. Her previously blank face was now replaced with pure hatred as she scowled up at him. But he still saw her nerves manifest as she clutched her sack closer.

"Ready?" he quirked a brow.

"Do I have any other choice?" She answered just as fast.

"No." Edward felt the frustration fly across his features at her boldness. Who knew a human could be so problematic?

"Where is my horse, or do you expect me to walk?" she asked blatantly, and Edward pressed his lips together to repress a growl.

Her smart mouth was going to take some getting used to.

Ignoring the way she seemed to catch herself, and prepare for him to strike her, Edward just motioned with his head for her to join him.

"No, you will be riding with me," he said stiffly. But she planted her feet into the ground: she was not moving.

Edward rolled his eyes as he swung down from the horse, and in two, sweeping steps, he was at her side.

Somehow she was brave enough not to retreat, for any other, Fae alike, would run in fear if Edward approached them as he did her.

He was beyond losing his patience as this girl threw her tantrum while Victoria was most likely closing in on them.

"We need to hurry," He growled under his breath when he grasped her elbow.

But she either didn't hear or care as she blinked up at him. She struggled to keep up with his pace as her feet dragged.

But damn him, Edward fingers still twitched from her warmth, and it only grew worse as her scent drifted toward him.

Even through the layers of grime, she was tantalizing enough to make his instincts tense. They were all unwelcome reactions, but still dangerous in any right.

Giving his self-control a good lashing, he took her waist, "Sit lightly," he barely grunted before he easily lifted her into the saddle.

Gods, there was nothing to her as Bella shivered at the touch, and he knew it was only going to get worse when he joined her.

With a grumble, Edward hauled himself on the animal, his shoulder lightly brushing the back of her cloak only making her shudder harder.

 _Give her your cloak._

The voice purred; the part of him that perhaps wanted Edward to give in; to throw all self-control out the window and claim a human as his mate.

Edward only shook his head at his own monologue; she would most likely recoil from the gesture in any event.

And even if he _wanted_ the good opinion of a human, what was it worth? Humans were greedy and fickle beasts, and better to be kept at arm's length.

But it didn't stop his curiosity from getting the best of him as she sat, arms crossed, scowling towards the dark woods.

"Bella?" He peered over her shoulder, but her eyes remained forward. And he took that opportunity to note how long her hair was, the tresses still shiny as they swept away to reveal delicate brows, and a slightly upturned nose.

And even though she needed a good hearty meal, Edward guessed that to other humans, Bella might be perceived as pretty.

"What?"

Edward held out his hand, "Would you care to hand me the reigns, unless you know where we're going?"

"Maybe if you told me where that was, I could lead for a while," she snapped.

She was too wicked for her own good, so he simply cocked his fingers, perhaps only to annoy her further.

"Fine," she huffed, placing the leather in his palm. He could still feel her burning warmth even through his thick gloves.

"Can you at least tell me your name?" she grumbled.

Her harsh tone only continued to make the monster inside him roar.

"I suppose you can call me Edward," he replied simply.

He saw her disappointment as she turned forward to cross her arms, the swift movement sending more of her scent wafting towards him.

Edward stiffened.

"No title such as Lord or Prince to go with such a name?" Bella craned her neck this time, the unbound hair almost brushing his open collar. He pressed his lips together to suppress his treacherous body's response.

"No, just Edward," he answered curtly. Of course, she would hope he was royalty; like most humans, she was obsessed with wealth and nothing else.

Thankfully, she remained quiet after that. And as Edward urged their horse forward, he felt her hold her breath as they took the first step into his world ... and what would soon become hers ...

 **A/N Tell me what you think. And as always, thank you for reading and reviewing :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thank you all for such the positive feedback, it really means the world to me. And as to those who are wondering just what this fic will entail: I plan on this story being a recap of Bella's story in Edward's POV as well as a more in depth telling of his history. Hope you enjoy :)**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses series.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They continued in silence for what felt like hours, Edward opening his mouth countless times in preparation to say something; anything to ease the rigged body he felt in front of him. The tension was driving his nerves over the edge.

"Bella?" He asked as gently as possible, but he heard how stiff his voice sounded to his own ears.

But that didn't stop him from feeling every movement: from the way her heartbeat throbbed to the steady rise and fall of her breasts. Even down to the way the wind shifted her hair.

And when she didn't answer, it made his chest flatten.

"Bella, you will answer when spoken to," Edward said with false bravado, but he was thinking the worst: she had fainted from shock or hypothermia.

"Bella, this isn't funny," he said louder, and still no response.

And Edward couldn't restrain himself any further before he encircled her waist to shake her gently, but instead of a response, her head rolled back against his shoulder.

He sucked in a breath when her scent wafted towards him, but managed to look down to see her eyes shut and her breathing normal.

She was merely asleep.

"Ghastly humans," Edward huffed out a breath, but still, his muscles relaxed and his chest eased.

He shook the odd feeling from his bones; she made him so on edge that he almost forgot what it was like to feel _anything_.

Edward snatched the reins with a scowl to the Gods, wherever they were.

But before venturing on, he also subconsciously pulled her closer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They rode all night, and somehow, she had remained asleep against his chest. And even though the woods were dark, and the sky moonless, the steady rhythm of her breathing somehow made the travel easy.

But alas, they couldn't remain like that forever, for in front of Edward lie his own personal prison.

The Spring Court was as bleak as he had left it, and Edward's mood was in a similar shape. Castle Dathail stood like a scar on the land; its black walls blurring the colors of the sunrise, which Edward couldn't see but could remember from years before his curse.

And it was suddenly clear to him that she needed to be awoken. He just hoped she wouldn't panic when she remembered what had become of her life.

"Wake up, Bella." Edward did his best to ease her into consciousness, but she remained still. "Come, you must wake up."

Finally, Edward forfeited the reins to shake her shoulders. And all at once he felt her heartbeat quicken and her breathing ratchet faster.

"Easy, I'm not going to hurt you," Edward grumbled when she gasped awake, "Look, we're here."

She went stiff as she took in the darkness of the woods and the looming castle in front of her. Edward was impressed when she didn't faint from the sight.

"Is that yours?" she rasped, her voice still rough from sleep. And damn if his body didn't respond.

"Welcome to Castle Dathail," Edward stated lazily, hopefully conveying that he was perhaps just as unwilling as she was to enter the Spring Court.

"What region are we in?" she murmured, her voice smooth in a land full of rough.

"I could tell you, but I'm convinced it would only encourage your escape," he said glumly.

She mumbled out her answer, and Edward only spurred their horse faster. He was eager to leave the dark woods that still housed remainders of the Oillteil and other undesirable faeries.

They eventually reached the entrance of the Castle and Edward scowled as they walked under its looming shadow.

The damned name meant _color_ in the old language, and he couldn't help but curse Victoria for the irony.

Bella's body had gone quiet as their horse halted, and Edward suddenly didn't know what to do first. He hadn't planned for any of this.

Maybe eighteen years ago he had full hope. But now, he had lost every ounce of himself. He had no energy to explain why his lands were dead and bare; especially to a human that only harbored hatred toward their race.

But he was forced into action as his ears pricked at a rustling in the distant gardens. Their reek was unmistakable: the Oillteil. Probably coming to investigate what was giving off such an alluring scent.

"Off," Edward murmured, his head turning in case the creatures were dumb enough to ambush.

The Oillteil loved nothing more than mortal flesh, and Bella would have been the first human female they'd smelled in nearly a century.

Edward had no doubt he could take them all if they decided to attack but knew Bella would shudder in fear if the real monster among them came out to play.

That was the faucet of himself that he carefully reserved. He had learned at a young age to keep it perfectly hidden. His father took years to hide the cloaked demon that lived inside; so much, in fact, that Edward was beginning to forget what it felt like to be in his own skin.

"Up," He ordered; his eyes focused on the tree line even as his ears quirked to Bella barely managing to catch her feet, but they needed to move.

"But my things?" She glanced behind to the pack that remained fastened to the horse.

Edward only grumbled an excuse as he pushed her into the castle entrance; all the while shielding her body with his. He felt her recoil from his touch before he slammed the doors with a bang.

The echoing sound was dulled by the amount of tapestries and paintings that still hung in the entrance.

With a foul expression he looked at the walls. But the colorless faces of his ancestors only stared back. He should have taken the art down a long time ago.

And just as he was about to call Alice to do just that, Edward turned to see Bella's expression of astonishment.

She was gazing at the walls with clear wonder; her mouth slightly agape and her eyes alit with something Edward had never before seen.

"Come," He grumbled a second later while taking hold of her elbow.

She was so caught up in her wonder she didn't flinch when he touched her; she just continued looking at the art with a new sense of discovery; each with more disbelief than the last.

Edward fought not to roll his eyes. Who knew humans were so easily impressed?

But a loud thudding interrupted his thoughts, "For the love of the Gods," he grumbled, "What is that sound?" It stopped as soon as they did.

Edward looked around until his gaze fell to the unnatural bulkiness of Bella's flimsily coat. The cloth of such was tattered and torn, but stuffed into each inside pocket was a hard covered novel.

She had smuggled in her own books.

And suddenly, Edward had the insatiable curiosity to see what titles she had brought…

He was careful not to touch her when he wordlessly pulled a hardcover from her side pocket. But she still she shivered.

She seemed frozen as he let the weight of the pages fill his hand, "Books," He noted distantly.

The binding of the one he held was so withered he couldn't read the title; while most of the pages were dog-eared.

He had to admit, he was surprised she was literate at all, and now that he knew she could read, he couldn't help but image her curled up in a chair while her eyes ate up the words like they, themselves, could give nourishment.

"I figured I should bring something to occupy myself," Bella replied flatly. And although she held her chin high, her mouth quiver slightly and then— an image flashed through his mind.

The breach inside her thoughts was so fast that it was an effort not to stumble back before the picture disappeared altogether.

Edward had no time to revel in the fact that he had been able to see into a mind, _her_ mind. The feeling was shocking after so many years of darkness.

But the image was loud was clear: a dungeon.

The tall walls inside her mind were dripping with dampness while the only source of the outside world was a barred window that only ushered in the cold.

The fear intertwined in the image was stark—Bella had brought books because she thought she was going to be living in a cell.

He blinked against the rawness of the emotion; shocked that he had been somehow able to use his magic. After fifty years of feeling nothing but emptiness where his magic used to be, he had been able to see into her mind.

He numbly handed the books back to her, but the small insight had made Edward change his own mind.

He had planned to put Bella in modest but tasteful quarters; something that was directly under his own rooms in order to keep an ear on her activities.

However, after seeing her fears, and just how quick she was to think the worst of his kind, Edward was determined to prove her wrong.

He was not the cold and unforgiving male like all the Spring Court Lords before him, so he was going to give Bella the most lavish rooms the castle could offer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The lower west wing was filled with guest suites meant to house dignitaries and nobles during a time when the continent was not under lock and key by Victoria.

But that was a time long past; so now they sat empty and unused.

"Here's your suite," Edward announced dimly when they reached the end of the hall.

He waited for her hatred and her distaste, but he was shocked when her mouth popped open in awe.

Edward watched warily as her first step was tentative, but then more came, and soon enough she was twirling underneath the center chandelier.

His eyes widened, suddenly uncomfortable about the intimacy he felt watching her so unedited… so _free_.

He cleared his throat, but she only continued to explore.

"After breakfast, you will get a tour of the estate. I urge you to pay attention, since there are many areas where you are not allowed." He said, but she didn't even turn her head as she dragged her hands along her bedspread.

"I also expect you to join me for every meal, and that is a non-negotiable request." He didn't want her looking starved any longer; it made him unhappy just looking at her. But the last order didn't even snap her from her trance.

"Bella," he suddenly shouted.

"Hmmm?" she turned, dazed.

"Do you understand what is expected of you?" his brows lowered, waiting for her to disagree.

"Yes, thank you," she dismissed before turning to tap the pads of her fingers on her desk.

"I will send a servant to attend to you before breakfast. Please be punctual. We dine at eight." Edward let a second slip past as he watched her, and she only continued to ignore him.

This girl he beheld, was different from the Bella he had first met. The girl who was now looking at her curtains as if they were gold in her hands; and she looked far more… innocent than he would have liked. So much so, that it had him wondering if humans were as shallow as he previously thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Jasper, I can hear you lurking," Edward said before setting down his stack of papers. "Just come and say what you came to say, already."

The sentry strolled in a second later, a goblet already in hand, like he had no worry in the world, "So, I smelled a human when I came in this morning. Is that why you ordered most of the servants away? You actually retrieved her after all?"

Edward let loose a breath, "Yes, Bella is here."

Jasper actually looked surprised for once, "I must say, I didn't think you would do it."

Edward made some sort of uninterested noise and waited for his friend to give his opinion on the matter; something Jasper was never shy about doing.

"Can I meet her? I want to see the face of our supposed salvation," He stated sarcastically, not bothering to hide his distaste towards humans.

If there was someone who was wary of the human race more than Edward, it was Jasper.

"Not yet, I was trying to keep her secluded. I think she's overwhelmed."

Jasper only grinned, "What's to overwhelm her, she hasn't even met me yet."

Edward's breath went still at his friend's suggestive tone. He knew how charming Jasper could be, and how easily he could make Bella fall for him.

But Edward quickly shook off his bout of jealousy. He never wanted a human's good will in his life, and he made it a point to stop acknowledging the God's plans long ago. So why did it bother him to think of Jasper earning Bella's affection?

"You didn't lock her in her rooms, did you?" Jasper eyed Edward with a dark smile, "You know…like father like son?"

Edward didn't let it show how much that comment rattled him, "I'll ignore that terrible joke and only tell you she's happily exploring her new quarters." Edward peered down to his documents with feigned interest.

"Really? The other side of the castle, you say." Jasper rubbed his chin, "I would have thought you to offer up your own rooms instead."

Edward gave his friend a long look, "Is that what it's come to? I thought you more mature than that."

Jasper only shrugged.

"Well, you might want to stifle the smart comments before you meet Bella, or you'll only come off as an ass," Edward grumbled.

Jasper barked out a laugh, "But I'll bet she'll still prefer me to you, especially if you keep brooding like that," Jasper leaned forward, "But if you work on your charm, perhaps our dear Bella will see you as much more than her captor." His friend wiggled his brows.

Edward's hands tightened around the parchment, "I don't think so,"

"You obviously intended something along those lines when you went to see her those eighteen years ago. Are you telling me you've changed your mind?"

Edward let his head fall into his hands, "That was a long time ago. I just wanted to do what's right for my people; something I thought you would agree with for once."

"I do—

"Then stop joking. Do you not realize what's at stake here?" Edward said with exasperation, "You want me to risk everything on a human that can't even come to breakfast on time!"

Jasper let out a snicker, "I'll tell you one thing, if she's even close to as bitter as you are, then you were made for each other."

"Not funny," Edward shook his head.

"That wasn't a joke." Jasper gave him a long look.

Edward stood with a grumble, "Fine, you want to meet the girl we're resting our lives on?"

"As if I didn't make that clear before? Jasper replied, bored, as he took another sip from his glass.

"Then I'll just have to go and retrieve her myself," Edward spared a glance to the clock. It was a half an hour past what he told her to come.

"Perhaps she's already run away." Jasper chuckled.

Edward did his best to ignore his friend's laughter; even as it seemed to follow him down the hall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He could smell her as plain as day just as Jasper had said. And Edward was suddenly thankful he sent most the servants away after arriving. Because her aroma was more than enticing, it was mouthwatering.

Ignoring what her mere essence did to him, Edward continued past the stairs and down the corridor.

His mind was set in sternness as he prepared what he was going to say to her, but his heart was somewhere else.

When he met Bella as an infant all those years ago, he hadn't been in his right mind.

He could still remember the taste of the hope on his lips as he hunted down his mate, drunk on the possibility that she was the one.

Now, the mere thought of a mate was unsavory; ridiculous actually. The idea that the Gods fated him with a human made Edward scoff; there was no such thing.

It was a mistake, surely, that they were meant to be together; and not just in life but _beyond death._ It was a connection, which Edward knew had to be a farce. It was just another way Victoria was toying with him.

Nevertheless, no matter how Edward ignored it, he felt something slowly changing in him.

"Milord, what are you doing here?" Alice's eyes widened as soon as she saw him, "I'm afraid Bella's not ready just yet."

Edward shook his head, "I told her to be ready in time for breakfast. Where is she?"

"I went to her room as instructed, and she refused," Alice explained.

Edward cocked a brow, "She refused?"

"I think you underestimate her," Alice answered warily.

"Well, if you weren't able to persuade her to come to breakfast, then I guess I will." He said with a downward tug at his vest.

Alice wavered as if she wanted to say something else but eventually left him with a nod.

Bella's bedroom doors were closed, but her scent clung to every speck of air. And before Edward could think exactly of what he was going to say, he was pounding on the door.

"Yes?" A voice called, clearly Bella was expecting Alice because there was a small lilt to it; something that he had never before heard. It dubbed Edward momentarily speechless because the girl had never spoke to him in that way.

"Why weren't you at breakfast? I thought I made it clear you were to attend," he said stiffly. _There,_ he thought, _that was stern but concise._

"I wasn't hungry," she answered just as Edward's ears pricked to the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor.

He scoffed.

She was bracing the door.

So Bella expected him to be such a brute as to break down the door if she refused? How human of her…

"Don't think I didn't see the state of poverty you were in," he said suddenly.

"Then you should know I am no stranger to hunger," she answered firmly.

He choked on the words he wanted to say: that _he_ had saved her. That _she_ should be thanking him for even allowing a human to enter their lands…

But instead, he said, "Is that it then? You plan to starve?" he spat the words, unable to stop the venom from leaching through them.

"It's none of your business, that's what!" she yelled back, and damn him if it didn't ignite the monster inside him.

' _She's strong,'_ the inner voice cooed, ' _Perfect.'_

"Like hell, it is," his breath rushed through his teeth, "You are my guest!" His chest was heaving now, while his hands clenched and unclenched with anger.

"No, I am your _prisoner,"_ she shouted back.

Edward suddenly went still at the word; his bubbling anger turning from burning red to white-hot.

Was he truly no better than his father after all?

 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thank you for all the support and to my beta SunFlowerfran! Hope you guys enjoy :)**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses Series**

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

" _No, I am your prisoner," she shouted back._

 _Edward suddenly went still at the word; his bubbling anger turning from burning red to white-hot._

 _Was he truly no better than his father after all?_

And just like that, the tether that had been keeping his anger at bay, snapped. Images of chains and steel rushed through his mind; magic forced to the brink, bonds stretched to the limit. . .

' _You've imprisoned your own mate.'_ the demon mocked _, 'You turned out to be a true Lord of the Spring Court, after all,'_ the voice echoed in his skull; so loud, Edward wished he could claw it out with his bare hands.

But it spoke the truth Edward did not want to face, forcing him to take a hard look at himself, only to find something unrecognizable.

He was nothing of his mother, or the gentleness she sought to teach him at a boy. No, all he had become was the sickening remains of his father's corruption.

The thought made him unable to control his rage, "Fine, _starve_ if you want. See if I care!" he roared at the door, quickly turning before he punched a hole through it.

But he only saw the pristine paintings that stared at him from every wall. They looked at Edward with their unchanging stares of judgment.

 _Traitor._

 _Half-breed._

 _Outcast._

 _Jailer._

Somehow, Edward had become the male he promised himself he never would.

He had fallen so far that even a starving human wouldn't deign to eat at his table.

The shame spread through his body like a disease, and the first thing he saw: a vase that was probably a millennium old was picked up by phantom hands and thrown against the wall.

The sound of the shattering porcelain made him pause, but not as much as the warmth he felt against his skin.

Edward slowly looked to his hands, and sure enough, dark mist was seeping from his palms.

His mind was struck frozen, but as he twirled his fingers, the shadowy clouds weaved in and out. Just as warm and soothing as he remembered.

And after fifty years of _nothing_ but hollowness _,_ Edward felt that well of power start to slowly refill.

"What the hell is happening?" he murmured to himself.

Absolutely seething in his skin, he tore open his overcoat with invisible fingers; not caring where it fell as he whipped it to the floor. The next was his vest, then his too-tight necktie, and every other piece of clothing he only wore to _appear_ as their High Lord of light.

Curse Victoria for trapping him _here._ Curse his wretched father for making him something he wasn't. And curse Edward for taking it all for granted.

He couldn't keep up the lie anymore, and he wished more than ever that he still had access to that side of himself. The _real_ High Lord that had been kept caged for so long.

"Edward?" Jasper appeared from behind him, "Where are you going?"

"Jasper, if you know what's good for you, you'll just let me go," Edward ordered when his friend only came closer.

Jasper opened his mouth to object, but then he must have noticed the shadows that surrounded them, because he gaped in shock.

"I don't know how any of this is possible," Edward groaned. "So don't ask."

The sentry's eyes only widened more when he realized what Edward had just done: he had read Jasper's mind.

"Wait, Edward, we need to talk about this—"

"I don't need to talk, I need to get away from this place," Edward growled with an outstretched hand, but Jasper persisted.

"I don't doubt it, but right now, you need to get a hold of yourself. Victoria just sent a messenger."

And just like that, every part of Edward's body stilled; the looming fog retreating back into his skin, "A messenger, where?" was all he asked.

"I have it in the dungeons," Jasper kept up with Edward's long strides as he steamrolled towards the basement.

"Did it say anything about her?"

"No, I don't think it knows Bella is here. And I've tried to get it to talk, but it insists that it will only speak to you." Jasper didn't have to say another word before Edward started charging down the stone steps; realizing this was just the way to cure his anger.

"Good," he growled with a beastly grin.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The faerie that was chained to the wall was barely conscious and badly beaten. And one silent look towards his friend and Edward knew the wounds had not come from Jasper. Victoria had sent a tortured creature to their doorstep.

It was a test, for sure, to see just how desperate they were for information; and all of it rested on Edward's shoulders.

But even as weak as the faerie looked, Edward saw the strength underneath the dark skin and torn wings. Faeries such as this one were treated as less because they held no magic or beauty. Instead, they were exploited for their willingness to follow anyone with a lick of power, and in turn, exclusively used by Victoria.

But still, it was hard to feel bad for the creature as it seethed at Edward with rotten teeth. "My, my, my, I dare say you look worse than me," it slithered with an oily smile.

"Speak truthfully, and I might let you live," Edward said, placing his hands carefully in his pockets, but the faerie only grinned wider.

"The High Lord has commanded you to speak. You will do best to remember that you're alive only because he wishes it," Jasper barked.

Clearly ignoring Jasper's threat, it just centered a glare towards Edward, "You are no High Lord of mine. I only answer to her. She is more powerful than two of you High Fae put together; make no mistake."

Jasper growled, "Like hell she is! _Only_ after the bitch stole all of—"

Edward silenced Jasper with a hand to his shoulder. Jasper went quiet a moment later.

"Enough bragging," Edward said calmly, "You were sent by Victoria, and you will tell us why."

"Or what," the thing hacked out a laugh, "Will you pry it out of me with your invisible hands? I know she took them from you, High Lord. Victoria owns every ounce of your magic."

Edward simply brushed the sleeve of his shirt, rolling up the cuffs to reveal the cool black smoke that now seeped from his palms, "Not quite."

The creature had enough sense to look frightened before Edward took hold of its mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward rose the next morning, stiff with pain. He had exhausted himself yesterday dealing with the faerie Victoria had sent. Yes, it didn't take an enormous amount of energy to pry the answers from its lips, but it still somehow left his bones aching.

He hadn't used that part of himself since the curse; hadn't even been able to think about his wings or his mist. But after fifty years of near nothing, Edward was somehow regaining his power.

Yesterday, he was able to dig deep enough to access his more… darker talents: able to make that faerie think it was insurmountable pain in order to extract information. While he wasn't as efficient as he used to be before the curse; maybe even a bit sloppy, it had still worked.

They had gotten some answers.

It didn't matter if they hid Bella for an eternity, the faerie said, Victoria knew that they harbored the human.

So now the information haunted Edward's every thought: one more motivator to try and break free from the curse. If not for his people, but for the innocent human life he harbored.

' _She's coming, High Lord. Victoria is coming,'_ the faery's voice repeated over and over. ' _You have the key to the puzzle, but will you be able to figure it out in time?'_

Pressing his eyes shut at the words, Edward turned his attention to letters and testaments from his ever-struggling tenants.

The curse had left their land barren: crops were failing, wells were coming up dry, and it seemed as though a new sickness was popping up each week.

The people of the Spring Court were dying, and the rest of the continent would follow.

Pushing away the breakfast he was suddenly unable to eat, Edward let his head fall into his hands.

If only he could find a way to defeat the witch for good. But after years of searching through books and lore, no one was any closer to coming up with a solution. Victoria seemed unbeatable; and even more, since she had sucked almost all of Edward's and the other High Lord's power, they were all too weak even to try.

But that only meant he would have to work even harder; to read every Gods damned book they owned in search of what that Oillteil had claimed; to see if a human could really set them free...

That also mean Edward had to burrow through every ancient parchment in the library; which was eating up most of his night and day hours. But he would do it all if it meant the evil witch's weakness could be found.

"Good morning, Edward," Alice greeted when she appeared in the dining room.

"I'm afraid this isn't the time for household reports, Alice, perhaps another time," Edward said quickly, already rubbing a permanent line that lived between his brows. He was tired and worn out, barely having enough energy to ensure his people survived, let alone making sure the castle was being run correctly.

"I'm sorry, but this can't wait," Alice insisted as she took a step closer, "It's about Bella."

"What is it?" Edward stood, but Alice stopped him with a shake of her head.

"Nothing, she is okay. It was just thinking, since Bella was brought here in those rags, wouldn't it be a good idea if you gave her something better to wear?"

"Really," he let a breath out through his nose, "Was this her idea, or yours?"

"Mine, our course." She said firmly, "Actually, Bella seems rather content with her lot so far. I'm shocked actually. So I think it's about time you welcome her officially."

He raised his brows. And he had to admit he was surprised: any other human would be searching for ways to take advantage of the riches of Edward and his people. But Bella seemed unaltered by the wealth before her.

"How many dresses?" he asked.  
"At least two."

He sighed, "I'm afraid, as far as finances go, all we have is making sure more people don't die in the villages. I simply can't defend spending it on clothing."

Alice nodded, "It was just an idea." She left a moment later with the bow of her head.

Edward ran a shaky hand through his hair once she had gone.

One more reason to get out of this mess; their economy had been shattered after the curse. Victoria had taken any, and all of their natural resources, while nearly bleeding them dry of their supply of food.

Even his native Night Court was barely afloat since Vitoria had sought power. The reports from Emmett and Rosalie explained how the rest of the states were either too afraid or too poor to send aid. So it was left up to Edward and his wits to keep people from starving.

If only the late Lord of the Spring Court could see how far they've fallen. Edward's father would be disgusted to know he would have to scrounge and barter only to give a human a measly two dresses.

"Alice, wait—please," he called; and she appeared a moment later.

Edward ran a hand across his neck as she paused, "Go to my mother's closet," he finally said, "You'll find some old dresses in the chest that Bella can use until we can give her with her own."

Alice brightened, "That's very gracious of you, Edward. She and I will appreciate them."

He only nodded as she bowed out the dining room; and a moment later, Jasper walked in without announcement.

"I was thinking. We could use the faerie hostage to bait Victoria to the border and then—"

"It's no use Jasper," Edward said, dropping his papers with a huff, "Do think she values that thing's life at all? It was sent here with every intention of dying so Victoria wouldn't lift a finger to save its life. And she would never fall for such a trick."

"I was just throwing it out there," Jasper slumped lower in his chair.

"Did you… dispose of it?" Edward asked flatly after a beat of silence. He had decided late last night that the thing would only die a much more terrible death if ever returned to Victoria. So he had ended its life.

Jasper nodded solemnly.

Edward pretended to return to his work without another thought to the faeries' fate, but every creature he killed only added to the weight on his shoulders…

Jasper let loose a breath, "So, how is our precious human?"

"Who?" Edward kept his eyes on the paper in front of him, but he could see Jasper roll his eyes.

"Don't be daft, it doesn't suit you."  
Edward shrugged with an upturned glance, "I assume she's doing as well as she can be. Alice is going to give her some dresses, so that should make her happy, for now at least."  
"That shows how little you know of women," Jasper scoffed, "They can't be bought."

Edward quirked a brow, "That's how most of them operate. They only want riches for their own sake, and nothing more."

"That's not what I meant." Jasper grumbled, "What I mean is: humans are different. They're mysterious and complicated. So if you want to win over the creature, it cannot be done with gifts," Jasper said.

"You make it sound as if you're an expert." Edward cocked his head, "Tell me, have you had much experience with human women?"

It was rare for him to get Jasper in a serious mood, but alas, the sentry's expression remained stern, "All I'm saying, Bella, is no faerie female. You need to try harder if this is going to work."

"Try harder?" Edward said roughly, "The only reason you want me to try harder is so you can throw her to Victoria," His grip tightened around his pen at the thought.

But he never cared for Bella's good will in the first place, so why was his blood boiling at the thought of dooming her to his life?

"Forgive me if I want to save our kind." Jasper eased his voice, "The only reason I want the girl to like you is so that she will grow in love and do anything you say. And since when do you care about their race? Humans have brought us nothing but trouble," Jasper lowered his brows.

Edward scowled at his friend's words, "It's just—you put too much faith in her, is all. Remember she's just a girl."

Jasper remained unperturbed by Edward's sudden change in demeanor, "Just be careful in showing her comfort. You might just get attached," There was an unmistakable gleam in his friend's eyes that made Edward question if Jasper's words held hidden meaning.

"Comfort," Edward only scoffed, "She could never be comfortable here. She only sees me as a monster."

"Well, with that attitude, that's no surprise." Jasper chuckled, "I mean, would it kill you to lighten up just a little?"

"Depends on your definition of lighten," Edward said lower, keeping his eyes on his work. "And besides, you're right, I'm not sure how much a human's good opinion is worth anyhow. I would do better to keep my distance from the girl, their hearts are so fickle," he said more for his sake than Jasper's.

"You can hardly weigh in on what an opinion is worth," Jasper teased.

"Whose side are you on again?" Edward flicked a brow upward.

"Yours of course. But if you _do_ wish to make the human at home here, although I don't know why," he chuckled, "I just might have an idea as to how to make it easier for you…"

"I don't need your tricks," Edward replied. Indeed, Jasper's eyes marked with mischief. "You would only want Bella and me to be cordial to service your own agenda."

"Perhaps you're right. But I don't want you to tell her _everything_ ," Jasper rubbed his chin, "Just tell her enough to get her by, in case she ever _does_ confront Victoria. If not, she'll be no use at all."

"Use?" Edward felt himself stiffen. "You speak of her as if she were a tool rather than a person."

"Well, isn't that why you brought her here?" Jasper asked, "We all know you gave up on her a long time ago."

Edward paused.

What _had_ he brought Bella here for? It certainly wasn't to honor the deal he had made those eighteen years ago. Perhaps he had intended on finding out the way she fit into the curse, or maybe he was only keeping her here just so Victoria couldn't do the same.

But now, having met Bella, the thought of forcing her to join their cause made Edward's stomach lurch.

He suddenly stood with a growl, "I'm going to the library," Edward barely managed to mumble. He was in an ungodly mood all of a sudden.

"What's wrong now?" Jasper asked.

Edward straightened his vest, "I'm going to find some other way. Anything would be better than staking our lives on a human," he scoffed, but only to hide the fact that he was perhaps growing to like the girl.

 **A/N Don't be afraid to tell me what you think! And thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thank you all for the feedback! Glad you guys are enjoying his as much as I am loving writing it! So don't be afraid to keep those reviews coming :)**

 **Thank you to my beta SunFlowerfran!**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses**

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Edward had no idea what he was going to do as he prowled through the halls; his useless mind unable to come up with even a possible solution besides begging and bartering for Victoria to spare his people.

Yet his thoughts inevitably drifted to Bella; that perhaps she had use beyond what they were told...

But he quickly pushed the thought away. He had seen the consequences of such wishful thinking, and he vowed to never again go down that same road.

But even if he were frustrated with his options, Edward would not do what Jasper had suggested. He, himself, had once been sacrificed for the sake of others' gain. So he promised himself then and there that he would never do the same to another soul.

However, his thoughts were interrupted as he slammed into something unmistakably fragile.

His senses stiffened and softened at the same time, but managed to force his more… animalistic instincts to remain buried.

He quickly steadied Bella's tiny shoulders, but she had yet to let out a noise of surprise. The mere moment he had touched her, Edward had analyzed every breath she took; every inch of her face and every emotion in her eyes.

Bella's hair had been cleaned from the dirty, dull locks when he first found her, and her face was less pale than before. Even if the circles under her eyes hadn't completely diminished, there was thankfully a bit more color in her cheeks; at least from what he could tell with his cursed eyes.

But his throat caught when he saw the dress she wore.

Edward immediately recognized the rich silk from the Night Court: fashioned with glittering swirls in clear homage to his homeland. And even if he was colorblind, Edward knew it was the darkest blue that rivaled even the night sky.

Strangely, the fabric didn't smell of his mother at all. Instead, Bella's scent completely masked any remnant of the Fae heritage the dress might hold and was now weaved with a new perfume, to create something…ancient. And despite her being human, Edward couldn't help but think how the dress suited Bella much better than it ever did his mother.

"There you are," he cleared his throat and took a healthy step back, "I was just coming to…uh, retrieve you," he couldn't help the lie from spinning, to gauge her reaction after their last encounter. And sure enough, as soon as her eyes focused, her face hardened, the sobering reminder as to how repulsed she was by him.

"There will be no need for that, I can fair on my own," her quick tongue cut straight through his trance from seeing her in the dress, and Edward felt his own expression turn sour.

"As I told you before, I don't want you wandering where you're not supposed to be." So Alice will accompany you when I am not able."

"Am I not to have any privacy?" Bella narrowed her eyes.

"Of course, but while you travel from wing to wing, you will have an escort," he said tightly, motioning to where Alice was waiting patiently behind them.

"No," Bella said simply and the monster inside Edward roared at her answer. He hadn't heard that syllable in a very, very, long time.

"No?" he heard himself repeat, testing how the word felt on his tongue.

"I refuse to be treated like a child," her voice only gained strength with each syllable.

"You are a child, so you will be treated as such," he only shrugged.

Edward was reaching nearly a half a millennium old, and Bella had barely two decades on earth, yet she was treating him as if _he_ was the one acting infantile.

"I was old enough to feed my family since I was twelve, does that sound like a child to you?" her eyes snapped with fire, seeming to read his thoughts.

And he suddenly felt his stomach jolt at her words; the feeling so tangible that Edward looked down half expecting to see him in his beast form. The anger he was feeling, though foreign, was his own. But he could taste its metal tang as it continued to rush through him, almost causing him to vomit.

 _Strange_

He just shook off the sensation, "Is this what this outburst is about?" he asked, "Are you are worried about them?"

For a moment, he saw the flicker of guilt in her eyes, and he swore he felt it deep in his gut.

"You expect me to dine with you while they starve?" she nearly choked on the words as Edward felt himself loosen with sadness; _her_ sadness.

It was then he finally understood what was happening.

Edward wasn't sick at all: he was just feeling every one of Bella's emotions as they passed through her.

Somehow, they had been connected, either by a sick joke of the Gods or Victoria. Either way, Edward had been given a line that allowed him not only able to read her feelings but to actually experience them himself. And it was making him ill.

He never knew her human emotions to be so strong…so potent.

But here she was, her guilt and anger so intense that it struck him nauseous.

"Of course not," he said after gathering himself, "They are well provided for in your absence," he pressed his lips together to hide what he was feeling. If he could sense her emotions, could she do the same to him?

"What?" her eyes widened.

"Can we move on?" Edward said, eager to be rid of these sensations, "Now that you know they will not wither away without you?"

He shifted his feet against the flush for relief: well, it was technically Bella's relief, as she understood her family wouldn't be without aid.

"I guess," she murmured, her face deflating back to indifference.

"Good," he said with a breath, hoping to be rid of her guilt and anger, "Now if you please, I would like to eat my breakfast before it gets cold."

"I would if I knew where the dining room was," she suddenly snapped, the tone of her voice making his nostrils flare.

He subconsciously searched for their mysterious connection, perhaps to shoot down the line she needed to bite her tongue once in a while. But it had dissipated as quick as it came, leaving Edward that familiar feeling of emptiness.  
"Just keep heading straight," he answered tightly; baffled at how much courage the girl had.

Most creatures cowered as soon as Edward stepped into the room. But Bella; this human stood up to him with her chin held high. And somehow, he felt himself slowly beginning to admire it. The insight into her emotions made him realize she was much more complex than he gave her credit.

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Thankfully, Jasper had decided to leave because Edward didn't have the energy to deal with both his friend and Bella at the same time.

Food was already set as he quickly took his place at the head of the table, only to distance himself from her. He would have to read up on what had just occurred; perhaps it would help them in the fight against Victoria.

But just as he was about to eat his fill, his ears quipped to a quickening heartbeat.

Bella was still standing miles from the table, but her eyes were glued to the spread before them.

He didn't know if she was in shock or if it was just disgust from the thought of eating at the same table with him; either way, she was unable to hide the hunger that was in her eyes.

"Eat," Edward slowly motioned to the table, but she didn't move a muscle, "Drink."

She swallowed before looking to him, "No thank you, I'm not hungry."

"Is that right," he pressed his lips together, "Then you won't mind if I serve myself?"

Edward didn't know much about humans, but he knew they needed constant nourishment. So if she wasn't going to eat on her own permission, he was going to try something else.

And so he started to pile a plate with cakes and meat; anything he thought she had gone without while living in that shack.

He was aware of her eyes on him, even if she pretended not to be watching his every move, Edward could feel their weight.

And when his gaze flickered to hers, she only stuck her head a little higher as if to remind him just how low he was in her mind.

He silenced a grumble at her spirit and walked to her with heavy plate in hand.

She had thankfully sat down by then, but she was careful to keep her gaze straight ahead. But when he set down the platter in front of her, Bella's lips quivered.

Edward could see her lifeblood as it pumped through her; hear how her heart quickened when his feet stopped.

But her eyes remained forward.

"Will you not eat even if I serve you myself," he asked quietly.

Bella slowly looked up at him with hollow eyes, but he saw the hatred there as if she wanted Edward to see how she despised him.

"No thank you," she said flatly.

Edward just returned to his seat, but before he asked, "What is it that you're afraid of?" he waited for the answer he perhaps would not like to hear.

"I don't dare eat a morsel until I know what you expect of me. Do you plan for me to earn my keep in the castle?"

"Speak plainly, what worries you?" he urged, eager to get everything out in the open.

She paused,"I know that in some continents, slavery is still in use…" her eyes met his as if she was daring him to refute the claim. And it was an effort for Edward not to break the fork between his fingers.

Bella thought she was going to be taken as a slave.

"Is that your opinion of me?" he asked thickly, his voice almost getting stuck in his throat.

But she just answered calmly, "I don't know you well enough to assume anything different. I can't help but think the worst," her cold words shot right through him.

"Well, allow me to put such thoughts to rest," he dragged a hand through his hair in an effort to soothe his raging temper. She honestly thought he was so brutish that he would take her as a slave?

' _Can you blame her,'_ the demon voice cackled, but Edward quickly shut it out.

"You will not have to lift a finger here if you do not wish to," he said out loud.

Her face scrunched in confusion, "Sir, I still expect to earn my keep in some way or another."

"I have more than enough servants, and you would only get in the way," he dismissed.

"Then how should I spend my time here?"

The question made him pause. Only then did Edward realize he had no idea how a human was supposed to cope in their world.

"Don't you have any hobbies?" he suggested, but she only stared at him blankly, "Any accomplishments that kept you busy at home?"

She lowered her head, "Having no governess or mother, one does not learn such things."

"Really?" Edward murmured too low for her to hear. He had fully expected Bella to be raised with a mother, hoped that she would, but apparently, like Edward, she had endured beyond it.

But despite losing her mother, Bella had remained strong and determined in a land that offered her nothing but enemies and danger. And yet, after all the hardships she had faced and conquered, Edward was almost about to sacrifice her to the likes of Victoria.

His stomach suddenly turned again; but not because he sensed her emotions. No, this time; they were his own.

Edward stood suddenly, only to see Bella's eyes widen in fear.

"I promise you, the food is safe to eat," he said, but she didn't lift a fork but only scowled at her plate.

Good Gods, the human would stop at nothing to prove a point, wouldn't she? So Edward said something he knew would make her finally eat.

"And it will be your own damn fault if you faint," he added, trying to spark her into an argument. If the only way Bella communicated was through debating, Edward would happily play along, but…

Her head only lowered in defeat, and he watched as she subconsciously hid her prominent collarbones and too-boney arms. And suddenly, he saw a flash of a weak boy, cowering from harsh world just as she did.

The sight made his stomach turn even harder as if someone was twisting a knife in his gut.

He bumbled to fix it, "By the way—," he cleared his throat to stop the real thoughts from coming out: that they had more in common than either of them knew, or perhaps, Edward wasn't as foreign from her as she thought.

But Bella only looked up at him with steely eyes, "—you look better than before," he finished with a leaden tongue, because he knew anything he told her with a full heart would only make her retreat more.

Because he was not her friend or supposed mate, only her captor. He had done nothing but rip this girl from her family, just as Edward was once ripped from his own.

And it was ironic that he had waited his whole life to find someone that understood the tragedy that he endured, only to turn her against him before they even had the chance.

Edward knew he deserved her hatred, and more; and he fled before he could see how she cringed from his words.

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He was barely able to reach his lavatory before Edward was heaving into the porcelain bowl. More and more came, making his body shudder with each repulsive thought.

' _Hypocrite, Jailor, Coward.'_

Those same syllables repeated as a permanent rhythm. He tried squeezing the words right out of his mind, but it was only the glum reminder of how repulsing he was.

"Geesh, what happened to you?" Jasper scoffed, appearing in the doorway just as Edward finished. He turned to see his friend biting into an apple; the sound almost sending him reeling.

"I don't know," Edward sat up from the toilet with a groan, "I was with Bella, and then suddenly I felt like I was going to be sick."

"I can relate. Humans can be quite repulsing," Jasper chuckled.

Edward ignored his words and stood before quickly plucking the apple from Jasper's hand and tossing it out the open window.

"What was that for?" Jasper whined, "Do you know how hard apples are to acquire nowadays?"

"Unless you want me heaving again don't eat in front of me," Edward warned as he slid past Jasper in search of clean clothes.

"Yeah, what's that all about?" Jasper motioned to the toilet as he passed, "I haven't seen you get that sick since before the curse. And I should know because we had one too many nights drinking until we couldn't stand."

"I told you I don't know," Edward said before entering his closet, "But I—I think something is happening to me. I'm feeling… things again, and my body is reacting." And on cue, Edward wavered on his feet, but eventually managed to shrug on a clean shirt.

"Maybe you're coming back to life—" Jasper joked.

Edward didn't answer the comment, but only picked up a piece of paper he saw resting on his desk.

He recognized the script as Alice's neat handwriting:

 _Edward,_ it read,

 _I wanted to let you know I want my next month's salary to pay for Bella's dresses. Although I did find some of your mother's for her to wear, I wanted to do it for her as a gift. And don't bother telling me it was unnecessary, it's already been done._

 _-Alice._

Edward scoffed; it seemed as though he wasn't the only one being affected by Bella's presence.

"—Edward, did you hear me?"

"No," he answered dimly, his mind elsewhere.

"What's this?" Jasper didn't wait before plucking the parchment from his hands. His friend rolled his eyes a moment later after reading it, "Really? You gave a human your mother's dresses. And you've commission more? People are dying Edward."

"Don't preach to me about things I already know," Edward said with a rough swipe of his hand down his face, "Just what was it that you were saying before," he asked a moment later, suddenly desperate to change the subject from Bella.

"I said, it's almost like your body is slowly coming back to life," Jasper motioned to Edward, "We all saw how you physically died as Victoria leached your power from you. But just yesterday, you were able to access your mist, and now you have begun to read minds again. That has to mean something."

Edward hummed, "Perhaps Victoria grows tired of having no one to oppose her, and is allowing my magic to return, only so the tables are leveled."

"Now you know very well that the witch has _no_ mercy." Jasper shook his head, "So the question remains, what is the only other variable that could be causing the change?"

Edward's eyes fell to the note, and as his eyes flashed to Jasper, "The answer might be closer than we think."

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He and Jasper walked into the library together, both of them realizing just what Edward had meant without saying.

"Do you really think it's because of the human that you're regaining strength? How is that even possible?" Jasper mused just as they reached the library.

"That's what I intend to find out," Edward said as they plopped book after book onto a table. They were both determined to find a cure, but Edward even more so.

If regaining his powers were the keys to beating Victoria, if they could find that final puzzle piece, he would pay the price. But it would have to be him alone; Edward was now determined that he would not sacrifice Bella in the process.

"Jasper," Edward stood from the table a moment later, "I want you to gather any books we have about magic spells and what binds them. Anything on human and faerie treaties as well. Perhaps we'll find something that can help us."

"Got it," Jasper nodded. "But where are you going?"

Edward straightened his necktie, "I'm going to test a theory."

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As Edward neared the dining room, he heard Bella's quiet movements. Her breathing was the first thing he heard next to the sound of her softly eating. And his chest lifted slightly knowing she had finally given in.

But as he neared the hall, his body started picking up on that strange connection again. And he couldn't just hear her movements anymore, but feel them.

He peered into the dining hall to see her eating as if she had never tasted food in her life. It seemed as though she couldn't get enough; her hands moving furiously to usher more and more into her mouth.

"Eat one more bite, and you'll hurl up your guts," Edward heard himself warn before he approached her chair. He had called out the words without knowing, but he knew deep in his bones that she would grow sick if she tasted one more morsel.

He wondered if the strange bond was a one-way street, but since she wasn't in a lavatory somewhere, tossing up her guts as Edward just had, he guessed it was something only he could feel.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he raised his hands in solidarity when her eyes narrowed on him. Even if her breathing had slowed at his words, her face was still taut at the sight of him. So she still despised him…

"No, I was just finished," she said while patting her mouth with a napkin before standing.

And as they stood across from each other awkwardly, Edward searched for any other excuse for them to spend time together. He needed to discover if Bella was really the reason behind his magic suddenly reappearing.

And if she _was_ making Edward regain his powers, then she was far more valuable than he previously thought. And value like that needed to be protected.

"Would you like that tour now?" his attempt to be friendly sounded false to his own ears. And as Bella narrowed her eyes, it seemed as though she also picked up on the fact.

"I would actually prefer it if Alice gave it to me," she answered primly.

"She is indisposed right now," Edward shrugged, but he felt her distrust wane on his conscience.

' _Even your mate can't stand to be in your presence,'_ the inner voice seethed.

Edward closed his eyes in an effort to block it out: she is not your mate, she is just a girl.

"I can wait," Bella snapped suddenly.

Edward felt his jaw twinge at her response. He knew this wouldn't be easy, but her smart mouth was making this impossible. So Edward decided to offer her what he knew she couldn't refuse.

"If you come with me right now, I will consider rethinking the chaperone rule," he knew more than anyone what even an ounce of freedom was worth. He watched as his offer rolled around in her mind,

"Just rethink?" she asked.

He let loose a breath, feigning frustration, but he was thrilled he had caught her attention, because he was quickly running out of options, "Fine. If you agree to stay out of trouble, you will be allowed to be on your own."

"Fine," she said, her chin edging higher.

Edward held back the demon voice that groaned at her persistence. Instead, promising himself to be the epitome of chivalry. Because none of this would work if Bella despised his company.

"Good, right this way," he said suddenly, quickening his steps out of the dining hall.

Bella hesitated until he saw her gaze rest on her dirty dishes.

"That is what servants are for," he dismissed, able to read her thoughts through her expression alone.

Her face crumpled in disgust ... disgust towards his world and how it operated.

But she said nothing to the fact and actually followed Edward as they started down the hall.

"This is the lower right wing," he said promptly, "This is where you will find most of your needs. The greenhouse, ballroom, and library are down here. I don't imagine you wanting to anywhere else, so, besides the dining hall and your room, I expect you to stay in this area."

But all she looked was displeased.

Edward paused in confusion. Had he said something incorrectly? But he only spoke on,

"Down there are servants' quarters and the kitchen. I suppose you can go down there, but don't interrupt anyone's duties." He could only imagine how someone like Bella would enjoy causing an uprising with the servant's duties for the sake of making a protest. But when he looked at her, she seemed bored.

"Are you understanding me, Bella?" he said a bit louder.

"Perfectly clear," she cut.

Edward willed himself to remain polite as possible, even if the monster inside him growled at her rudeness.

And she didn't seem too impressed even as he explained where galleries and worshiping halls were. And she didn't care when Edward told her how many bedrooms and lavatories there were in total. When he even showed her the gardens and patio, she remained unaltered.

"Any questions?" he grumbled after they finished. If he started the tour in high spirits, he was now left glum and hopeless.

If this was what it was going to be like to spend time together, Edward was more willing to give himself to Victoria than endure one more minute of the awkwardness between them.

"Yes, I noticed that you didn't show any of the upper levels," Bella said as she pointed her eyes towards the stairs.

Edward stiffened at the thought of her seeing his chambers, "That is private and strictly prohibited. In fact, don't even go up the stairs," he answered too quickly.

He knew with one look at his portrait in the study, Bella would be disgusted by his cursed state that much more. She would no doubt wonder how something so horrible could have happened, and that would eventually lead to Victoria.

Something he vowed to keep Bella from when he promised not to involve her.

But her shoulders only deflated in disappointment, and Edward swore a pout started to bud from her lips before she mumbled a response.

"Good," he straightened his vest with a tug, not feeling the slightest difference in his magic. And they had spent almost two hours together; two tense and awkward hours that he now wanted to forget.

"Now," He sighed, eager to leave, "I have business to attend to. If you need Alice or any other servant, just ring the bell in your room."

"A bell, in my room?" she repeated.

"Yes, it's an electronic button that is wired to alert the servants quarters so they can attend to you," he explained the best he could.

But her brows only knitted together in confusion, "Electronic? Wired?"

"That's right," he ran a hand through his hair, of course, they didn't have such technology in their human realm. Well, most of the Fae community didn't have what Edward's people did, because he was the one that invented it.

"I forget you don't have such things where you come from," He was beyond tired of this façade he had to keep. The dutiful High Lord of Light was wearing on him, and Bella only seemed to see right through the charade anyhow…

"Well you see," he gestured, "When you push the button in your room, it sends a signal through a wire in your wall to a connected button in the servant's rooms."

Something other than understanding dawned in her features, and Edward repressed a groan. He already knew that look too well.

She was going to start an argument.

"No matter how it works, I refuse to call people like dogs. I can take care of myself," she said proudly.

"Bella, please," he internalized a groan, the only buttons Bella seemed able to push were his own, "There are things you don't understand in this castle. My servants are here to help you."

"Just because they swore servitude, doesn't mean their entire lives belong to you," she disagreed with the shift of her hips.

"Actually, it kind of does. That's the definition of servitude," he chuckled when her nose scrunched in anger.

He had to give her one thing; she was a persistent debater.

"If you need me, I will be in the garden," she raised her brows, seeming to challenge him to object.

"Wonderful," he crossed his arms with a grin; two could play this game. "I will send Alice out to you."

"No need, I would prefer to be on my own."

"Even such, I insist you not to be alone on the grounds," he lowered his brows in meaning and still, she continued.

"And why is that? I thought I was allowed my privacy."

"Even in the daylight, dangers could be lurking," he quirked a grin, this time he was challenging her to say something. If she were brave enough to say otherwise, he would let her onto the grounds alone. But he saw the human fear spark there.

"We arrived here when it was dark. Are you telling me there was no danger then?"

He shrugged, "That's because I was with you,"

She scowled at his ego, "Fine, send Alice if you want. There is no point arguing with you," she jutted her chin out as though she knew she had won.

He grinned at her blind stubbornness; it was a trait only humans seemed to perfect.

But he hadn't realized until it was too late that she had made Edward smile after fifty years of emptiness.

He blinked a moment later to erase it, "At least you're a fast learner," he said; ignoring that familiar blip of hope he hadn't felt in nearly two decades.

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"So, how did it go?" Jasper asked as soon as Edward pulled up a chair in the library.

"Let's just say it wasn't easy." Edward grabbed the nearest book and skimmed the pages, and immediately felt every one of his muscles relax. Being around Bella made everything inside him go tense.

"What does that mean?" Jasper asked.

"It means that even if the Gods' themselves believe Bella and I are mates, I know we are anything but."

The Gods' had made a mistake, because, beside that moment of weakness those eighteen years ago, Edward knew the truth. No one was ever fated for another person. And he would not erase his own free will, especially not Bella's for the sake of some fairy tale notion. The Gods would just have to rot in hell, and their supposed fate could rot with them.

He was pretending to be reading, but Jasper saw right through him.

"If that's true, then why did you get all angry when I suggested using Bella to fight against Victoria?"

Edward paused, "I was offended you thought we needed a human to win. And besides, I was with her for nearly half the day, and I didn't feel any different. It seems my theory was incorrect."

Jasper didn't look convinced, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but two hours doesn't seem like anything to rest a conclusion on."

Edward ran a hand down his face, "Jasper, we can barely handle a minute with each other. Tell me, is that what it's supposed to be like?"

"What exactly made it so unbearable?" Jasper chuckled.

"She makes me feel… uneasy." Edward shuddered from just remembering the sensation, "Like a constant clenching of anxiety. That can't be normal, can it?"

Jasper raised his brows.

"What?"

His friend shrugged, "I can't say much for mating bonds, but I know what love is. And make no mistake, my friend, it starts with exactly what you're describing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward was on his way to his study the next day when he heard something peculiar echoing in the usually silent castle.

Footsteps.

And not the almost undetectable Fae ones but unmistakably human.

Bella had come out of her room.

Ignoring the way his breathing started to increase, Edward paused,

'Jasper,' Edward called to his friend through his mind. Ever since his magic had returned, they were able to revert back to their former communication. It was much easier, covert, and especially useful in the large castle of the Spring Court.

But he heard no response

'Jasper?' Again, nothing.

So before Edward's doubts got the better of him, he turned down the staircase and headed where the sound of footsteps led him.

He kept telling himself it was just for his people's sake he was eager to talk to her, to see her face; that it was merely a means to an end to get her on their side, but there was also something beyond curiosity beckoning to him.

Although he and Jasper had been at the library that previous night, they had found nothing on mating bonds or anything having to do with their desperate circumstances.

But then there was that part of him, something innate and more powerful than he would like to admit, that said otherwise.

He wanted to blame everything he felt on his imagination: including the connection he felt to her feelings. But there was still that pull at his core that was constantly urging him to make her safe; make her happy. And no matter how much he told himself, Edward knew it wasn't just in his head.

As he rounded the corner, he was hit with her aroma; able to tell she was just down the corridor by the strength of her perfume alone. And although her scent was mostly human, he also scented something foreign.

It was different from when he first met her, and it made his chest seize and his fists clench. Like it was calling at the beast that was hidden deep inside; the scent old and ancient, just like him.

He shook it off as his mind overanalyzed things.

"What is this place, a maze?" he heard her grumble just as her figure was revealed.

Sure enough, Bella was standing in the middle of the hall, clearly lost and frustrated.

And Edward could help but ask, "Can I help you find something?"

She turned with wide eyes and a fluttering heart. He tried to ease her frightening response with a hesitant smile, but her chest only flew faster.

"Is there any reason every area of this castle looks identical?" She threw her hands up in defeat.

Edward considered her question and remembered his father's ancestors had designed it specifically that way in order to confuse anyone trying to escape. But he thought it better to not reveal the fact. So Edward replied instead, "My father's ancestors designed it that way. Don't ask me why."

"Oh. Well," she didn't seem put off by his vague answer, "I was just looking for the greenhouse."

"What a coincidence," he lied, "I was just heading there myself."

He watched her expression morph from confusion to realization. Yet he couldn't read her as entirely displeased, so that was progress, he supposed.

"Really?" Bella eyed him warily.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

Her eyes slowly went up and down his form before stopping at his face. And he wished more than anything that she wouldn't look at him as if she doubted he had the capability to like _anything_.

"Actually. Yes," she revealed what he had already read in her body language. But by the minute shift of her hips, Edward also sensed a hint of relaxation there too; more progress.

"And why is that?" he asked in amusement. Slowly, he was learning the way her eyes and mouth betrayed her thoughts. But there was still a bit of mystery to her; as if she looked at his world and at him, like no one ever had.

"I just wouldn't think you the type to enjoy plants," she said with penetrating eyes, and he wished more than ever he could see into her mind again.

He yearned to know what she saw him as. But sadly, Edward hadn't been able to see her thoughts beyond that first day; and he had no idea why he was given that chance in the first place. Altogether, there were just too many questions unanswered when it came to Bella.

"Actually, there is nothing I enjoy more than botany. The process of nurturing life can be quite… fulfilling." He lied again, only saying what the Lord of Light would say. But he enjoyed watching her absorb his words.

Bella stood up straighter: a move that Edward knew to interpret as false bravado. Apparently, Edward had hit far closer to home than he intended, and she was making up for the insecurity by portraying herself stronger than she actually felt.

"Very well," Bella said, "But I warn you I won't be much for conversation."

"Understood," he said simply.

"After you." She only replied, waiting for him to pass.

He quickly stepped in front of her and prepared to be confronted with that strange scent once more.

Sure enough, something human and Fae-like swirled around his senses. He would have to ask Alice to wash his mother's dresses before giving any others to Bella, because the mixed scents were toying with his head.

But he could still feel her eyes on him as they walked, and her heavy gaze made him uneasy. It was too piercing upon his back, so much, that he wondered if she was trying to read his thoughts as well.

"Do you take any interest in horticulture?" he asked, perhaps something a real Lord of the Spring Court would say. But he would continue to play the part as long as he could; only if it meant keeping Bella from finding out the horrible truth.

"My sisters were the ones who tended the garden," Bella finally answered.

He was shocked she had shared something so personal, but could hear the ounce of resentment in her tone.

"Did you not wish to?" he found himself asking.

"There was never time," she answered quickly, and Edward heard even more insecurity there.

And peering back at her, he realized that for a girl who put on such a strong front, her eyes always said otherwise. Edward wished to ask what she really meant; how someone like her didn't have anything but time at her age. But he chose to leave it there.

"In any matter, you have plenty of time now," he said without thinking.

She didn't answer, but he heard how her heart thudded slower, quieter…

"Bella?" He murmured only to see her eyes downcast, but the tension in her lips told him she was upset.

He opened his mouth to say something else; anything to lift the sudden glumness that surrounded them both.

But by then, they had reached their destination.

Is this is? She seemed to ask without him having to enter her mind; her expression livening a bit as she took in the glass doors. Edward only pushed then opened the glass and watched as her face brightened.

She was tentative to explore the stone path that led through the lush garden, but after a few seconds, Bella finally moved forward.

Edward, however, was content to stay put. But he watched covertly as she outstretched her hands to each plant as she passed; making sure nothing she plucked was poisonous or dangerous to humans. Because even in this place of beauty, Edward knew danger lurked.

His father had designed it that way. It was meant to be a present for his Edward's mother, but leave it to the previous High Lord to make something so breathtaking also deadly. For within the roses and bushes was laden an enchantment: numerous thorns and poisons set to kill if the magic sensed anyone uninvited had made the mistake of entering.

Yet as Bella stroked a nearby fern, the leaves seemed to grow from her small touch alone. And Edward let out a breath at the sight. Despite her reluctance, it seemed as though Bella did have some experience with botany, more than she gave credit to, or the plant life wouldn't have responded as they did.

And it was a stark reminder of how opposite they were. While Bella was a natural at creating life, Edward only seemed good at destroying it.

No wonder the Spring Court had died under his care, curse or no. He was not the guardian of light like his predecessors, but the bringer of darkness.

And he couldn't help but think it was fitting that Bella seemed to blossom in a place that his mother loved.

For like his father, Edward couldn't help but despise what he couldn't have.

' _Edward,'_ Jasper suddenly called through his mind, yet Edward didn't even flinch at the voice entering his mind, but he could have strangled Jasper for interrupting their peace.

' _What?'_ he dimly answered; his eyes still on Bella as her skirt caught on a nearby rose bush. She merely unsnagged the silk with gentle fingers, only to pick up a rose that had fallen in the process.

' _I think I've found something,'_ Jasper's voice spoke, _'You need to come to the library right away.'_

' _I'll be there,'_ Edward answered instinctively, but his attention was on the way Bella's eyes fluttered shut when she brought the flower to her nose.

And he suddenly realized he didn't want to leave.

But eventually, Edward forced himself to take a step inside the greenhouse to tell Bella he had to go, but he only noticed how everything seemed to wilt as he passed…

"Bella?" he called only to have her jolt in surprise. "Sorry to startle you, but I wanted to tell you I have matters to attend to, so this is where I leave you."

"Of course," Bella blinked sluggishly, as if she forgot he was even there.

He allowed himself to take in the scene before him: Bella seeming to belong where beauty and brightness flourished. And it only confirmed what Edward already knew.

"Stay out of trouble," he gave the half-hearted warning, but she actually responded.

"I'll try."

He smirked at her retort; beginning to enjoy her witty humor, "I wouldn't expect anything less," was all he said before turning to leave.

 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you for all the support reviews, and to my beta SunFlowerfran. Hope you guys enjoy :)**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses**

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Edward rushed to the library, but he felt his mind elsewhere. Perhaps his thoughts were still in that greenhouse where he had left Bella…

But as he entered the dusty library, he not only saw Jasper, but Alice seated at the far table.

"Well, what did you find?" he said as he approached.

Jasper raised his brows, "Alice was helping me research, you know, putting two heads together rather than one. And I think we found something interesting on the subject of curses."

Edward sat down as Jasper slid over a book thicker than any he'd ever seen before.

"We found that with spells, there always has to be a cure."

"Okay, we already knew as much," Edward said, leaning closer to where Jasper pointed at the text. "But I thought Victoria bypassed that loophole when she stole my power."

"Not quite," Jasper replied, looking to a passage written in another a tongue.

"This isn't the old language," Edward noted, glancing up to the both of them, "This is something else."

"Yes." Alice confirmed, "We couldn't translate it word for word, but we could decipher some."

Edward leaned closer and tried his best to remember anything from his childhood education on ancient tongues, but he came up blank. "This is old, Jasper. Older than even the High Fae, perhaps older than the land itself," he looked up at his friend with wary eyes.

But Jasper's face only lit with curiosity, "That's why we think it can help us. Anything older than Victoria and her spell book can only give us an advantage."

"I agree," Edward nodded before standing, "And I think I know how we can translate it."

"How?" was all Alice asked.

Edward took a deep breath, "There's a creature on the edge of the Spring Court, it's an old, wicked thing, but knowledgeable. My father would bribe it with gold and jewels if he ever needed intelligence on his enemies. It has some sort of strange magic that can see beyond our own world, and I have no doubt it could translate this passage for us."

Jasper's face had gone white, "You don't mean—"

"Yes," Edward nodded, "I mean to visit him."

"Does _it_ not have a name?" Alice peered over to Jasper.

"Not that we know of," Jasper shrugged, "But legend goes that it had fallen through a seam from another land and found itself here. Now it spends its days hoarding gold in exchange for its useless riddles. So we call it the Fire Drake."

"Sounds dangerous," Alice said.

"That's because it is. The Drake will trap anyone who is dumb enough to bargain with it," Jasper finished with a stern look at Edward, "

"I have to at least try," Edward said, "Even if there's a chance it can translate the passage, it would be worth it." He ran a hand through his hair just thinking of the risks he would take in order to save everyone, including Bella. He would visit a thousand monsters if it meant Victoria's end.

"It's dangerous," Jasper warned, "So if you're going, I am going with you—"

"No." Edward shook his head, "I need you to stay here and guard the estate. Victoria's creatures are only venturing closer and closer to the grounds, and I can't have everyone left vulnerable."

Jasper's lips had gone taught, but he still gave a stiff nod.

"So," Edward stood with a groan, "If there is nothing else, I have to decide what we have to barter with."

"You're not going now, are you?" Alice asked suddenly, "Shouldn't we try to decipher what we can?"

"I wish I could," Edward said, "But I left Bella in the greenhouse, alone. And that probably wasn't a good idea, since she seems apt to attract trouble."

Alice wavered, "You didn't actually leave her there, did you?"

Edward narrowed his eyes slightly at her worried tone, "Don't worry, I was positive my father's enchantment didn't affect her at all, so I left her to explore. Why, shouldn't I have?"

Alice pressed her lips together, "It's just, the sprinklers come on at five. She's likely to catch a cold in that freezing water."

Edward let out a groan before he was running down the hall.

' _Who knew you could move so fast?'_ Jasper teased through his mind after he left the library, already halfway towards the greenhouse.

But he only ran faster, his earing pricking to the sprinklers that started to groan with water. He told himself that he was only trying to save from having to replace her water-sodden gown with money they didn't have, or Bella would likely catch a cold from the shock and then never leave her rooms again…afraid of his mysterious world that only caused her harm.

Either way, when he shoved open the doors, he was already too late.

"Edward!" Bella's eyes went wide as soon as she saw him.

The sprinklers had long turned off, but she was thoroughly soaked to the bone. "Bella," he gulped, unable to stop his voice dropping lower when he saw her state.

The silk of her dress clung to her body; the fabric sodden, "I'm so sorry, I meant to tell you that the sprinklers came on at five." The words came out sluggish because he was too busy noticing the droplets of water that clung along her throat.

"My deepest apologies for the—" he paused as he took in her waterlogged corset, and the way it clung to her breasts and too-tiny waist, "I will replace the dress," he said suddenly.

Bella distantly looked down at herself, "No matter. It was actually quite exhilarating," she said with a shrug, seeming happy to be soaked to the bone and left shivering.

"I'll send Alice to your room immediately," he said a bit too loudly, and he was already gone before she could answer.

But as Edward flew through the halls, he could feel that long forgotten urge welling up inside him. It wasn't his magic springing forth like before; no, this was something far more ancient.

Lust.

With one look at Bella, he had wanted her. He wanted her in so many ways he couldn't bring himself to think of them…to think of her, if he ever gave in.

Edward found his bow and arrow easily, and he hadn't even reached the back gardens before he was firing arrows at lightning speed.

He needed to find some way; any way to wipe out the urges that were raging inside. But it had been so long since he felt so…alive. Even now, after fifty years of silence, his phantom, un-beating heart seemed to thud with adrenaline.

He pressed his eyes shut at the image of the dripping locks of hair stuck to her pale cheeks. She had looked like a water siren; just beckoning Edward to touch, to taste.

He burned with the thought of being able to sweep her hair away, only so he could clean each droplet of water off her skin with his lips, his tongue…

But Edward knew he could never quench such thoughts. It could never be that way so he clamped down on the monster that only roared at him to take her.

"Gods help me," he gasped, spinning on pure muscle memory to hit the next target.

The arrow only went whizzing past its mark; but he only fired another, yanking the string so much it groaned against the strain.

Why now?

Why after so long, did such thoughts start to surface? Edward had seen beautiful females all his life; laid with all types of faeries, but none of them had ever made the monster inside him purr.

But now, he could feel that beast slowly being overtaken by molten, hot desire. The desire to claim what he knew was his.

' _It's because she is your mate,'_ the demon voice crooned, ' _and you can never hope to control the desire until you have her.'_

"No, it can't be," Edward gasped aloud, desperate to convince himself of it. However, he only missed the bulls-eye once more, as if his body rejected the lie just as his heart did, "She is not my mate."

But his words held no hope of erasing the truth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward remained out in the garden, losing arrow after arrow until his arm went numb with exhaustion. And only then did he switch to the other; imaging every time it was Victoria's heart that he was slicing through.

But finally, his stomach ached for sustenance. Forcing his screaming arms to release the bow that was about to split in two, anyhow.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, he longed to take dinner in his rooms, but sadly, one of his father's many enchantments forbade it.

His father once said it was made a more unified court to have dinner together, but Edward knew better. Food was just another one of his father's tricks to hold above the heads of his people.

But as soon as she entered the castle Bella's perfume swirled around his senses. She was _everywhere._ Her very essence wrapping around each fiber of each curtain and canvas that hung along the halls.

"Curse you," he mumbled to her and the Gods, adjusting his sleeves with a tug just as his mist swirled from his palms. And only when he was sure his magic shielded him from any remnant of her scent, did he face the dining room.

"There," He said proudly holding his head high as he entered. There was no sign of Jasper, and dinner had yet to be served, so it would be just him and his invisible magic.

It felt good…familiar to let loose a little of his power. It eased his shoulders, even the lines etched between his brows started to dissipate.

Licking his lips at the sensation, he wondered if his other powers worked as well…

He clicked his fingers as a test; perhaps he could will his dinner to be set in front of him instead of calling for the servants to lay out the food.

And Edward was beyond pleased when steaming plates of meats and breads appeared. But he only heard a gasp of surprise.

Bella.

She was _there._

In the dining room, and she had seen him plain as day; she had seen the male he had fought centuries to hide.

Thankfully, his mist was invisible to everyone but his closest friends, but still, Bella had been granted a glimpse under his mask. And it was clear from her expression that she was horrified by it.

' _Un-natural,' her_ eyes seemed to scream, ' _Monster_.'

"Bella," His voice seemed to bounce off the walls as her chest quickened with each breath. Her gaze flittered from him to the windows, to the doors, as if deciding if she should run or not.

"Bella, please. Let me explain." Edward tried to convey that she was in no danger, but the way her muscles tensed told him that she was edging to flee.

"What are you?" she murmured low.

He searched for a way to explain, but he was coming up short. The human legends of his kind were twisted from centuries of age. And Edward knew she would be even more horrified if he ever told her the truth…

" _That you are a bastard,'_ the inner voice answered, ' _A half-breed pretender.'_

Edward ignored the demon's words, "There's no need to be afraid of me, I won't hurt you," he said softly.

"I've always known you were something… _else,"_ she nearly choked on the word, and his heart plummeted. Indeed, he was something else entirely, and he told himself that she could never know even the half of it. Or else, she would be hunted for the knowledge only a few held, "What _are_ you?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm not mortal," he finally admitted, and he saw how she withdrew, "But I'm also not one of those monsters you've been told about since childhood."

If only he could make her understand that he wasn't the creature she believed him to be. The humans spun legends about Fae kind as nothing but bloodthirsty savages lusting for power. And even Edward knew he was not what the stories told of him.

"That's what a monster would say," she seethed, the arms of her chair creaking, she was clutching them so hard.

Suddenly, the girl he knew to be so brave in the face of danger was breaking under the weight of his world after seeing a piece of Edward's true nature. It was as if he had sent her into shock.

He had been a fool to think she could ever accept him.

"Perhaps," he conceded, "But I'm _not_ any of them, Bella."

"Then what are you?" she suddenly spat, perhaps resenting him calling her by name.

"You refer to us as many things," he didn't know how to tell her or the exact words to use.

"Then what do you call yourself?"

He slid past her question, "That doesn't matter. All that matters is that we are the first descendants of magic."

Her eyes flitted to the food before her, as if she realized the dinner had appeared through that same magic.

"We can make things appear without retrieving them, or make them disappear without disposing of them. We can create light, and influence the weather. But we cannot taste lies or smell emotions as your legends tell you." He chose not to reveal to her the more…despicable horrors of his power: of how he could create pain or bend thoughts…no, she could never know of the monster that lurked under his skin.

Her eyes widened, "But you told me—"

"—A fable to make humans trust us," he finished.

Her eyes only narrowed, "All of you can do this? Can make things appear and disappear, I mean."

"Only a few of us are powerful enough to do any of those things, let alone all of them." He hoped that fact would ease her mind, but she only chewed on her lip.

"Then you can only make things appear, and that's it?" she asked starkly.

His own lips tightened.

She was smart enough to want to know the exact lengths of his magic. Perhaps sizing him up as an opponent if she ever tried to escape.

And Edward realized right then, he would let her go without a thought if she decided that this was too much on her shoulders. But she would likely die the instant she went beyond the Spring Court lands. The moment he had claimed her from her squalor, Edward had also damned her.

So he deftly steered away from the subject.

"There used to be more of us, but we have been dying out over the years," he said.

"Why are you dying?"

He opened his mouth to tell her more, but he stopped himself quickly. If she gawked at this part of his life, then what would she say if she knew of the curse? Either way, he could feel the stipulations of the spell forbidding him from even muttering the words.

"I think that's enough explaining for one night," he said instead, "We can talk about it later," he promised only hoping to satisfy her insatiable curiosity.

"But—"

"Please," Edward said, and he clenched his teeth when her eyes went dim at his tone. He hated to see her interest snuffed out, but it was the only way to keep her from harms way, "We should eat."

Her chin finally dropped as Edward watched her reluctantly concede. But he wasn't an idiot to think she would never broach the subject once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day came unrelenting and foreboding. The very day Edward had planned to visit the Fire Drake, he had to have had a nightmare. But it was not the usual doom and gloom of Victoria.

No, this one was _personal._

Perhaps it was his subconscious warning Edward to learn from his past…not repeat it.

" _He is mine! And mine alone, and I will prove it to you even if it kills him!"_

 _Edward winced against the pain as his father dragged him down, down, down….away from the sky, away from any hope of light, until there was nothing but gray stone._

" _NO! Not my boy, not my Edward," his mother screamed herself hoarse, trying to pry open the bars even as his father's men pulled her away, "Edward!"  
"I'll be fine Mother, just leave this place—go home. " Edward fought to keep his voice even, but it broke at the word…home. He wanted her to be safe among her own people, but he knew deep down that she would do no such thing._

 _His father only scoffed as his mother and Edward could only watch as her face grew smaller with each step down towards the dungeon,_

" _She has no home, and neither do you, boy. Least of all the Night Court." His father squeezed the grip he had on Edward's neck to make the point, "You think that wretched court would ever accept you, a half-breed, bastard son? You're lucky that you're still alive."_

 _Edward searched inside himself, for any ounce of power or strength to dislodge his father's hold, but all he found was barren ash._

 _And the last thing he heard was his mother's screaming before he was surrounded in stone._

He shook off the memory, unable to stop himself from looking at his wrists.

The sickly gray color of his skin was unmarred, and did not show the scars that lingered underneath.

So he rose a second later and prepared what he needed to face the Fire Drake.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He rapped two loud knocks on her door before shifting his feet. Edward was not anxious because he was about to hunt down an ancient monster...no, he was afraid of seeing Bella after their previous encounter.

Bella had seen his magic, and she had been terrified of it. It was a wonder she was still living in the castle, and he didn't know what her reaction would be.

But she still answered, "Alice, thank the Gods, I'm ravenous—" she sang through the door, but her bright voice cut off as soon as she saw him, "Edward, what are you doing here?"

He paused, but making sure to keep her eyes only on her face, "Since you were not at supper, I decided to bring it to you myself." He held out the tray as she warily looked at what he offered; bracing himself for her to turn him away.

Earlier today, while doing all the research he could on the Fire Drake, he had finally lifted the curse his father had put on food outside the dining area. It was about time there were some changes in the Spring Court, and he deemed Bella a good reason to start them.

"There was really no need, but thank you," she said briskly, but she had yet to slam the door in his face, which Edward noted as a bit more progress.

There was a beat of silence before he cleared his throat, "Actually, I also came to tell you something."

"If I allow you inside, do you promise to answer some of my questions?" she folded her arms with a quirk of her brow. He realized Bella was even more stubborn when it came to what she wanted, but Edward still adverted past the topic as she let him inside.

"I never asked, how do you like your living quarters?" he said lighty only to find her eyes on him in a wary glance.

"It's beautiful. Perhaps too good for the likes of me," her voice dropped lower, sadder.

"Nonsense. It suits you," he said softly, but she only clutched her arms tighter around herself. It seemed as though he had stricken another soft cord.

Once again, he longed to tell her how much they had in common. But his tongue turned leaden at the thought. She would only scoff if he ever told her that he, too felt like an outcast undeserving of any kindness; only a pariah in a land of strangers.

But he snapped his mouth shut.

"Was there something else you wanted to tell me?" she asked, pulling Edward from his thoughts.

Her eyes were wide, innocent as she gazed up at him. He quickly turned his gaze to the crackling fire, "I wanted to tell you that I would be gone for a couple days. I have… business to attend to elsewhere." He stood a little straighter remembering what had to be done. Perhaps he wouldn't come home after visiting the Fire Drake, and this was the last time he would see her…so he forced himself to memorize the way the firelight reflected off her face, her skin…

"Thank you for letting me know," Bella's voice was surprisingly gentle, but her body language said otherwise; she was anxious.

Wavering on his feet, he wondered if he should ask what was bothering her.

' _You,'_ the inner voice answered, ' _You are what is bothering her,'_ For once it didn't speak with scorn, but with truth.

So with a deep bow, he bid her good night, "Enjoy your dinner."

She said nothing before Edward slipped out into the darkness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward spent as much of the night as he could hiking toward the place he hoped the Fire Drake could still be found, confident that Bella was safe under Jasper's watch.

He wished he could run, or at least transport himself there to save time, but he couldn't drain himself by sprinting, and he had yet to be able to transport himself through magic alone. So he walked until he couldn't take the drudgery anymore and had to make camp.

When he set off that next morning, the crown he carried as payment to the creature felt heavy in his pack, even amongst his swords and bow.

The diadem was one of his father's many relics, and Edward didn't feel sorry for using it as collateral, but he still knew his mother would look down on such an act.

The terrain he walked through had been left brown and mangled after the curse; the Spring Court Edward had known as a boy was long gone, replaced by something much more sinister. It was nearly impossible to move through the brambles and thorns; woven so tightly together it seemed like an impenetrable wall. But still, he pushed on, only having to remind himself why: Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, his people, his true Court.He promised himself they would all be free.

' _Bella_ ,' The demon voice purred, _Does she not deserve to be free?_

Edward didn't have time to dwell on that thought because standing in front of him was something that made his magic thrum in recognition.

The Fire Drake.

It smiled at Edward with sharp teeth, its skin dry and wrinkly as it hung off his gaunt face. It wore only a blood red coat embellished with jewels and gold: proof of its conquests.

"Hello, High Lord," it drawled, and although it looked Fae with its glowing skin and pointed ears, Edward sensed nothing but pure darkness residing underneath.  
"You know who I am?" Edward asked, more of a clarification than a question.

"I see everything. But I'm sure you already knew that," it said.

Edward nodded once, easing the pack off his shoulders, "I came to ask you a question."

"Only one?" It grinned at him, somehow knowing that Edward was going to ask many more than just one.

"All right, a few questions. That is if you'll accept my payment." Edward threw the crown onto the ground.

The Drake slowly looked at it, "Is that my payment?" It sounded unhappy.

"Is that not enough? That crown belonged to the previous High Lord, himself. And every Spring Court master before him."

It peered up at Edward, "From your father's court, not yours. What I want as payment, High Lord, if you're willing to give it, can grant you exactly five questions. That crown would only give you one."

"Name it," Edward answered, although something ancient inside himself warned him not to think so arrogantly. It would not be so easy.

"I hear you are strong, High Lord. Stronger and more powerful than any before you."

Edward blinked, bored of such tedious talk, "What does that mean for you?"

"It would mean," The Drake cocked its head in mischief, "That you would be able to rid me of something others could never hope to control."

A beat of silence passed.

"Well?" Edward pressed, "Are we ever going to hear of it, or are you just going to keep talking in riddles?"

The Drake revealed a slow grin, "Oh yes, you will do splendidly. What I want to be rid of, High Lord, is my anger."

A moment passed, "Don't we all."

"Yes," It chuckled, "It does seem like we faerie have always had a problem with our tempers. But mine is particularly…draining. It drives me mad, actually."

"So what would I do with it, let it drive me mad?" Edward crossed his arms, waiting for the final trick. "And for only five answers, no less?"

"Oh, what drains me will not drain you, you can be sure of that. My anger, although an unbearable weight for me, will merely evaporate within the day once it has you as its owner."

"And how do I know it won't drive me insane, and that these are not just some fine words?"

It simply shrugged, "Look into my head, Lord of Night; see what you already know as truth. I know mind reading is a favorite talent of yours," it laughed wickedly.

Edward stiffened but said nothing else.

"Well, do we have a bargain?" It crooned, "Five answers in exchange for you taking my anger."

"I get to ask my questions first. Only after each one is answered, will I agree to your terms," Edward explained.

It nodded.

"My first question," Edward pulled the ancient tome from his pack, the pages heavier than he remembered, "Is for you to read this entire passage out loud for me to hear, word for word." He had practiced his demands beforehand, knowing how creatures like the Fire Drake searched for loopholes in promises.

It wordlessly took the book from Edward's grasp, the page already turned to the passage Jasper and Alice had found.

"I am not fluent in this tongue, it will be rough." It admitted.

"Try," was all Edward said.

' _Like calls to Like.'_ The Drake read, ' _For what is undone can only be undone in the same way. Everything must always remain balanced: blood will call to blood: a true match can only be put up against a true match._ _Only then can the score be settled.'_

Edward's own blood turned cold, "Is that it then?"  
"That is all I can discern, at least."

Edward huffed in dissatisfaction, "How can I defeat Victoria's curse?"

" _You_ cannot defeat her curse. It is not _your_ destiny."

"Whose destiny is it?"

That devilish smile shone again against too-white teeth, "As the book said, like calls to like. Find Victoria's blood, and you will have your true match."

"That makes no sense," Edward grumbled, "Are you saying that Victoria's blood must be spilled to reverse the curse?"

"Ah, ah, ah," It teetered a finger, "That, I'm afraid, is the end to your five questions."

"Bullshit," Edward growled, "That was only four."

"Wrong. A High Lord must be careful with his words. You also asked me _'is that it,'_ after I read the passage."

Edward clenched his teeth to stop from killing the Drake with his obsidian claws, "You wish for more payment, is that it?" He turned his head to the crown that lay between them, "That is payment for at least two more questions."

"I have the payment I wanted. I will take no more," It answered.

"You tricked me, and you know it,"Edward tried not to growl in displeasure, "Now, you will tell me who is the blood that frees us from Victoria."

It pointed it black eyes at Edward, "Only because I like you, Lord of Night, will I say the human you harbor; she is that very blood."

Edward's breath left his chest, "Will it have to be spilled—the human's blood?"

That same grin greeted him, "I'm afraid that's all I can say for now."

Before Edward could object again, it bent low to pick up the crown from the ground. The Drakedusted it off before handing it back to him.

"I never cared for stolen crowns. Come back when you're willing to give me your own,"It said.

Edward snatched the thing from its claws, "The other payment?"

It lowered its head in acknowledgment, "My anger is now yours. So go home to the Spring Court, Edward, your salvation waits."

He was about to open his mouth and ask where the anger had gone and then he _felt_ it.

The first shudder that rippled through his bones made him stagger, but he still made his way back home, perhaps walking faster than before. But he still told himself that nothing had changed.

Bella would not be sacrificed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was a strange feeling, as if the anger was alive inside him, trying to find somewhere to live only to come up disappointed. And after of hours walking, Edward was convinced it had already evaporated just as the Drake had promised.

He scoffed, "Useless creature." Well, at least he had gotten off easier than expected. Apparently, the Drake was far weaker than the legends liked to paint.

Soon enough, the woods cleared to show the Spring Court exactly as Edward had left it. And as soon as he cleared the gardens, he called to his friend to tell him of the news.

' _Jasper, where are you? I have information from the Fire Drake'_

' _The villagers were complaining about Oillteil,'_ Jasper replied, _'So I'm in the south taking care of it. Be back in the morning,'_

Indeed, Edward could hear the remaining group of Oillteil crawling in the brush, beyond the shrub mazes; moaning for their next meal.

He only wiped sweat from his brow, vowing to deal with them later; perhaps unleash some of the Drake's anger on them, but right now, all he wanted was a shower.

As Edward entered the castle, he noticed the sky had begun to twirl in swirling black from an impending storm. And he could hear the Drake's angered murmur in reply, _"Let me out, let me play."_

"Hush you," He grumbled out loud, taking off his coat and pack as soon as he entered his bedchambers, "I'll deal with you later."

But it was then that Edward heard the floorboards groan from the other side of the wall. And instantly, every instinct snapped to where he heard the sound of more steps.

' _Intruder,_ ' his demon voice echoed. His study was his private domain; no servant would ever dare enter.

It housed his past, and everything he had ever lost, and the thought of a stranger carelessly rifling through his scorned history made his blood boil.

But by then Edward was already slinking in the shadows; concealed in the corner of his library as he beheld the intruder.

Bella.

He expected to find the stench of some monster or another, but all he saw was _her;_ tiptoeing through his shelves of books until she stopped in front of his portrait.

He could feel the anger starting to rise, higher and higher until it threatened to burst from his very chest.

"What are you hiding," she whispered to herself, tracing her fingers along the lines of Edward's rendered face.

He could see the surprise...the longing, as she stared at the face that was never truly his. No, that Edward was only the making of his father; twisted and forced into something that only _seemed_ made from the Spring Court for nothing more but to prove a point.

' _That sneaking human,'_ The anger seemed to roar in response, oozing from inside Edward like a festering wound, ' _Let me out,'_ it purred at him, ' _Let me play.'_

It was then that the anger truly found home within Edward: it had found his monster that slumbered inside. The very same creature that his father had toiled his entire life to hide. And now that beast wanted out.

"What are you doing here?" Edward's voice cut through her trance as Bella spun with a gasp.

Her eyes widened when he stepped from the darkness, but he ignored the blaring warning signs of her fear, of how very close she was to breaking.

"I was just, l-looking around," she sputtered.

' _She was trying to find your weakness. She was planning to betray you, just like your father; like Victoria. '_ Edward didn't know which voice spoke, the anger or the demon, but either way, they were now both in control.

"I told you not to come up here," he stepped closer, feeling his shoulders spread with phantom wings, but he could not summon them...not yet.

Her lips throbbed, seeming able to see those membranous wings of Edward's true father, even if they weren't there, "I'm sorry, I just thought—"

"You just thought!" he suddenly roared, "You just thought the rules didn't apply to you as soon as I left!" The demon voice was doing all the talking now, using the Drake's anger as fuel.

And Edward let it.

She winced from his voice, but his wild temper did not care. He only spiraled on.

"Of course not. All I was doing was—"

"—All you were doing was abusing my hospitality!" He bellowed, his temper thrumming in response, so the very walls threatened to shudder.

But it was not from his anger alone that the air had turned heavy, for Bella's eyes had suddenly turned fiery, "Hospitality? Is that what you call kidnapping me from my family and forcing me to live here?" She spat back into his face, and the monster purred in response.

'Yes, _play with me,'_

"Some would call that a kindness," Edward warned.

But she stood her ground, "A kindness, really? You call it kind to trick a man into trading his own daughter?"

The anger sneered, "It's not my fault your father was a coward as well as a thief. I demanded what was just."

She had gone still, "Just?"

He felt his lips spread into a foreign grin, "I can see now how your father wanted to be rid of you. Who would ever want a girl that causes so much trouble?" Edward spewed the words, and Bella flinched as if she had taken a physical blow.

And before the monster could taunt her any longer, she was running out of the room.

A picture flashed in Edward's mind a moment later: something so dark and twisted that it pushed out any of the Drake's remaining anger.

' _You useless boy, don't you understand?' His father's voice boomed in the dungeon as Edward pressed his back against the stone, desperate to escape. But his father only came closer, 'You will have to be changed completely for anyone to believe you as mine.'_

 _Edward raised his head to see a Red-haired faerie with a wide smile standing next to his father, 'Hello, Edward,' she crooned at him._

 _And even starved, beaten and tired, Edward had the good sense to withdraw from her touch. He wished more than ever he could change into his beast form, only to claw out those emerald eyes from her too-perfect face._

' _Stay still,' His father clenched Edward's chains tighter, 'She is here to heal you, boy. To fix you.'_

 _Edward looked to the female, 'Who are you?'_

' _My name is Victoria," she said, "And I am going to make you into a different person; a better person,' She glanced up at his father before smiling down to Edward. 'Are you ready?'_

 _He was not ready, but she had already started._

"Get out," he said to the anger once the vision had dissipated, "Find somewhere else to fester," he ordered, and it obeyed.

Edward slowly turned to the three portraits on the wall, letting his guilt wash over him like an old friend. His head fell into his hands, ashamed beyond belief of what he had done; had said.

Edward had somehow let the Drake seep into his brain, and now any hope of winning Bella's trust was long gone.

 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Thank you for all the readers and reviewers, I love seeing all the feedback from you guys. And a special thanks to my beta SunFlowerfran. Hope you guys enjoy :)**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses**

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That was when he heard an ear-piercing scream, and that was when his blood stilled, his senses narrowed to the source of that cry.

Bella.

He was in her rooms an instant later, not altogether sure how he got their so fast but her chambers were empty.

The closet was the only sign of her ever living there. Everything else in the room was as pristine as it was before she arrived, but the wardrobe was left open and empty of her belonging except for his mother's dresses.

Because Bella had taken her pack and run.

He spun down the hall, pushing his legs faster and faster until he reached the gardens. "Please let her be alive," he begged to the Gods, praying to any deity or spirit who would listen, "She has to be alive." He whispered to himself before he was running back and forth between the trees: desperate to pick up her scent, "Please," he whimpered one last time into the darkness.

His mist started swirling from his palms without Edward willing it: his magic instinctively searching for _her._ But the storm's wind had pushed her scent away; impossible even for his Fae nostrils to find. And his useless eyes could not spot her in the dense brambles and thorns.

But then he heard her.

His head flew to the blood-curdling sound, only to see Bella running for her life; helpless as two Oillteil flanked her. The creatures taunted in a way that promised a slow death, and his heart faltered when she lost her step, and one of them made a slicing grab for her.

Edward roared when he smelled her blood coat the air.

But his inner beast had already taken over.

Edward didn't remember the snarling or shrieking of his monster as it broke free; couldn't feel as skin and bone revealed what lived inside. But before he could even blink, even comprehend what was happening, he stood in front of the Oillteil in his beast form.

Gazing down to his shadowy self; he had no idea how any of it was real. How his Fae skin had melted away to show the monster within, or how he hadn't even conjured it in the first place.

But either way, it _was_ real _,_ because he could feel his wings spreading; stretching after years of confinement. And his talons no longer lie sheathed underneath skin; no, they were long and obsidian black as they itched to slice and maim.

The creatures had longed turned from Bella to see what had joined them, only to find Edward smirking in the shadows.

"Resorting to tormenting humans, are we?" Edward growled low so that Bella could not hear.

The Oillteil only smiled, "She is ours fair and square," one dared to speak. Edward only stretched the muscles of his back; his wings catching the dim light. The second one only sneered at the spectacle.

Edward peered over to see Bella frozen in the light where she could not see him. Her eyes were swimming in fear; in horror of what other creature she sensed had joined the thrall. But he was careful to stay in the shadows. He knew he could never let her know how this monster ached to taunt and slay. Oh, how his beast longed to once again play...

But that was put aside when Bella suddenly stood to flee, only to fall a moment later; left immobile from either her wounds or pure shock. And the Oillteil laughed at her.

He thanked the dark storm for making it unable for her to see just what was about to happen: because Edward was going to take pleasure in killing them.

He only let his eyes leave her as he disemboweled the first Oillteil with one swipe of his talons. But even from the sound of the gurgling and the dull thud of its body hitting the ground; he heard her small gasp.

And Edward was shocked that she had not fainted, but only watched with intent. Her eyes wide, but lucid as he felt a magnetic pull towards that very gaze of interest and he wondered if perhaps, Bella didn't cower from death; but was special in that she was able to face it.

' _Invite her to play,'_ the demon voice, louder now in Edward's beast form, seemed to beckon, _'Oh how wonderful that would be to have a playmate.'_

Edward shook the thought from his head; the smell of the Oillteil's blood almost unbearable now. The other tried to run once it saw what had become of its partner, but with one swift pounce, Edward had it clutched by the throat.

"You care for the human?" it choked, its black eyes widening in the presence of death, "Why is it our concern what the High Lord discards?"

"She is not discarded," Edward snarled into its disgusting face, "She is _mine_ ," he found himself saying, his demon voice repeating it in his head, "And you will do well to remember that," He said aloud.

The Oillteil only gasped for breath, "Let me go, and I will never—"

Edward squeezed harder, his talons slicing through skin and muscle until it gurgled for life.

The stench of its blood splattered against the depthless black scales and feathers that adorned his beast form, but his magic easily whisked the mess away.

He didn't let himself revel in the fact that he had gained more of his magic. Not only that he able to access his wings, but his actual beast form. He was drunk with the possibilities.

But all of that was erased when he heard her whimper.

Edward's monstrous form withered away by her cry; his wings retreated, and scales and feathers were once again replaced by sickly gray skin. Apparently, his magic couldn't heal everything.

"Bella?" He called thickly into the darkness, his chest seizing to see the blood that stained her skirts as he came closer.

"Edward?" she shuddered, her eyes going dim as she stared up at him.

"Bella, where are you hurt?" he crouched, not knowing if moving her would make her bleed that much more.

"My arm, they cut it." her voice was distant; weak, as he watched her eyes droop closed.

"No, you're going to be fine," he murmured to her, as well as to himself. He tried his best to staunch the bleeding with his palm, but it only gushed faster.

"Oh, Gods," he swore under his breath before tearing a piece of his shirt that he summoned with his magic, "Stay with me Bella," he ordered loud enough for her to hear; daring the Gods themselves to take her from him.

He picked her up as gently as possible, but her head lolled limply to the side. He took only a moment to press her temple against his shoulder before he was sprinting.

Edward's magic groaned over the strain; not realizing how much he had been drained by killing the Oillteil. It had been foolish to waste energy by transforming, but the thought only pushed himself that much harder.

"I can walk," Bella barely murmured, but he could still hear the strength behind her words. He sent a silent prayer for her to keep that fighting will.

"Somehow, I think you're lying," he countered, hoping to ignite some sort of fight in her. And sure enough, she huffed out an answer.

Edward only clutched her closer, feeling how her skin was growing colder by the minute; the color almost matching his sickly gray complexion. They needed to hurry.

But Edward was running out of strength and magic.

"Stay awake, we're almost there," he said softly when she started to shudder, but she managed to open her eyes.

"Hmmm?" Bella hummed into his chest, her hand clutching his sleeve; and Edward reveled in the slight show of strength.

"You're going to be fine, Bella," he promised even as her breath turned ragged, "But you have to stay awake for me."

"Why don't you have a heart?" she asked suddenly.

He looked down, half confused, half concerned that the blood loss was making her delusional until he saw that her ear pressed where his heart should have been beating.

He huffed out a laugh in reply.

"Well forgive me if I'm a little tired," she moaned, "I did just run for my life after all."

The blood loss was making her speech began to slur, but he kept her talking.

"Leave it to you to get snippy even after losing a pint of blood," he thanked whatever God for giving her spirit, or she would have been already dead.

Her mouth upturned into a smile, but her eyes started to close.

"No," he grumbled low, "You're not leaving me yet," Edward hauled up every bit of magic he had left to reveal his wings. And even if it burned to feel them surface, and it drained him of his breath with each wing beat, every inhale Bella took only fueled him to go faster.

"Look, Bella, we're here." Edward shook her arm when they reached the castle, praising the Gods a second later when her eyes fluttered open.

"What happened?" she whispered as her gaze focused on her surroundings; Edward's wings long disappearing with the night.

"You have a couple of gashes, but you'll be okay," he vowed, even if he had to leach every bit of his power into her, he would make sure of it.

But she was so skinny; too weak from months of starving, and then he had let loose the Drake's anger in his study…

"Alice!" Edward shouted, realizing he needed help, and Jasper was away at the border. "You're okay," he said a moment later when Bella winced in pain. He laid her down as softly as he could when they reached her bedroom, but she still cringed.

"Sorry," he mumbled, turning to the nightstand where he barely made a bandage appear. "This is going to hurt," he warned before revealing the gash on her arm.

Her back arched with a gasp, but thankfully Alice had arrived.

"What happened?" Alice pointed a horrified look at Edward after she saw Bella's state.

"The Oillteil got her," Edward said simply, "Do me a favor and look at the wound on her right thigh, they slashed her there too." He tried to ease his voice into calm, but the truth was, he was panicking.

Only for a short time were they starting to get used to each other, perhaps even understand each other, and then he had ruined it all.

"Although it's not as bad as her arm, it needs looking after," he said with a gulp to the heap of blood. And even if he had endured a thousand battles, a slew of war fields, Edward was shaking by the sight of Bella's broken body.

Alice came to her side with a nod, slowly pushing up her tattered dress skirts in search of the wound.

"I can't see anything through all this fabric, the dress will have to be removed," Alice said firmly.

"What?" he growled, his phantom heart sinking in his chest.

"The dress, it needs to come off," Alice repeated slowly.

"Oh," he needed to pull it together, "Yes. Of course," He blinked, feigning understanding, but he was struggling to prepare to see Bella's broken body. He managed to gather his wits, but he still had to turn away from the bed.

He wasn't ready; he would never ready to see what had become of her. What starvation had done; what the Oillteil had done: what _he_ had done…

"Edward, I need you to help me keep her still. There's no time to fetch another servant," Alice pressed.

He took a deep breath before snapping his fingers. All he had to do was imagine peeling each layer of her dress off by himself, and his magic made it all disappear.

"Thank you," Alice merely said.

He could only imagine what Alice was thinking; that he had caused this, and now Edward stood frozen, unable to face what had happened.

But Edward could not bear to touch Bella with his frozen hands, could not bear to look her in the eye and tell her he had caused this. And most of all, that he would be broken if Bella died here, never knowing that she had friends, that she had a home…

But Alice's voice drifted from the bed; too low for Bella to hear, "Can you heal her?"  
He didn't move, "I don't know, I was able to change into my beast form earlier. But it…drained me."

He only heard Alice continuing to clean and bandage, "Can you try?"

Edward swallowed, finally able to turn to look at Bella's arm. But from the corner of his eyes he saw how pale she was, her skin no longer luminous but…

 _She is not dead._

He told himself, the demon voice retreating, only living in the cold calm that consumed him. _She will not die._

But her physical form was so _weak,_ and he couldn't stop himself from looking at how her hipbones jutted out, and how her too-thin thighs clenched with each wrap of Alice's bandage. But somehow, her fiery spirit kept fighting back.

He was aware of how ragged his breathing sounded, but he couldn't stop the picture from swirling: his mother, how she had begged and bartered, even on her deathbed, her face sick and pale, _'Free him, I beg you, my Lord. Free my Edward. Let him live.'_ They were her last words.

"My lord, are you…" Alice pulled him from the memory.

Edward blinked once, twice to clear his fogged mind. "I'm fine, the Oillteil just wore me out a bit," he said, quickly reaching for the thread in preparation to sew up Bella's arm with his own two hands.

Once again, he had done it a thousand times in war camps, but his fingers shook just thinking of marring her creamy flesh; but he knew it was the only way to promote healing.

"Can you not just heal it yourself?" Alice asked again.

He shook his head, "I would need more time to regain my energy, and this cut needs to be stitched immediately."

"What do you need me to do?" Alice stood a moment later; revealing Bella's taut stomach, her ribs…

"Keep her still, and have her drink this." Edward held out the medicine he was barely able to summon from the infirmary, "It will help her with the pain."

Alice slowly lifted the glass vial to Bella's lips, and she thankfully swallowed.

"Just lie still," Alice again swept the stray hair from Bella's cold forehead.

"This is going to sting," Edward warned before he made the first pass.

Bella threw her head back with a groan, as he met Alice's eyes.

"The pain will weaken her," Alice said lowly, so Bella could not hear, "We need something faster than medicine."

"I understand," Edward grumbled, digging inside himself for any ounce of power; and whatever he found, he let it rain over Bella in a storm of numbing calm. And by the way her muscles eased and her face loosened, it was working.

"Are you doing that?" Bella managed to ask; her voice breathless.

Alice looked up at Edward, and he slowly shook his head. It would do no good to explain to Bella that magic was helping her.

"Just relax," Alice hushed, as Edward squeezed at that well of power, forcing any drop of magic down upon Bella.

A moment later, her eyes closed into a peaceful slumber.

"I think she's asleep," Alice said quietly, as she stood from the bed with a deep breath. Relief washed over the room as Edward silently finished sewing up the deep cuts. And when it was all finished, he allowed his muscles to ease knowing Bella would be all right.

But the maid only turned toward Edward with scorn, "What the _hell_ happened?"  
He dragged a hand down his face, only motioning for Alice to follow him into the hall, "I went to see the Drake," he murmured once they were cloaked in the corridor's darkness.

"What?" Alice's frustration diminished, "What did it say?"  
"Nothing that we didn't already know," he grumbled, "but as repayment, I had to take his anger. And I thought I could handle it, but it was too powerful."

"Oh no, Edward—" she took a step back, "What did you do?"

"I may have taken out the Drakes's anger on Bella," he sighed. "I thought I could control it, but I found her in my study and I—" he cut himself off with a defeated growl, "She will never look at me again, I know it. I said horrible things that she could never forgive."

Alice sighed, "So we're back to square one, aren't we?"

He nodded, "We're back at square one."

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"She's awake."

Edward lifted his head to see Alice in the doorway of his study; he had forced himself to stay awake in case anything changed. Even if his magic was growling at him to sleep, he would not rest until she was fully healed, "How is she?" he asked.

Alice quirked her head down the hall, "Come see for yourself."

Edward released his breath only when he saw Bella in her bed, completely well and alive, as if none of it had ever happened. "Feeling better?" he asked thickly.

She jolted slightly, not having heard his approach. And he cursed his silent Fae feet for startling her.

"I'm fine," she smiled softly, but he heard the ache behind her words. She was exhausted.

He nodded once, his magic seemed to thrum in recognition.

"Where'd you learn to stitch wounds?" her eyes were curious, if not slightly hopeful that he would share the information.

He smiled at her ability to remember that part of last night. Usually, his healing magic rendered the receiver amnesic. Edward hoped she would have forgotten most of it, but it seemed as if he wasn't that lucky,

"War camps," he answered curtly, remembering the bloodbath that was the 500-Year War. He had learned early that just a mild skill in healing saved lives, and he was now even more grateful for that gift. Bella just nodded, thankfully not pushing it any further.

He let a moment pass until he walked to the bed to sit beside her, yet she did not withdraw as he gently sought her arm. Her skin was nearly translucent to his gray hands, yet her flesh was the same temperature as his.

"Your hands are warm," her eyes met his for a second.

He felt a smile threaten to show, "I warmed them by the fire before I came." Indeed; he had seated himself by the hearth the entire night, the flickering flames reminding him of her fiery spirit and easing his worry.

She blinked once…twice, and then she was laughing.

It was a sparkling sound that was more beautiful than any music Edward had ever heard. And all he could do was watch as she clutched her chest with each fit, her eyes squeezed shut and her nose crinkled until she managed to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, wiping tears from her eyes.

He only smiled again, loving the way true happiness made her eyes seem brighter; livelier. It was rare to see her happy, and Edward reminded himself to enjoy the sight.

"Do you feel any burning or sharp pain?" he asked a moment later to shake off what the sound of her laughter did to him.

It had made his heart jolt.

Edward pointed his eyes downward as he slowly rotated her elbow, then her wrist and then told her to flex each of her fingers; every time his skin threatening to erupt in goosebumps from her touch.

One more thing he ignored.

"No," she said softly, her eyes drifting from his face downward, no doubt noticing how sickly gray the skin was there, too.

He cleared his throat, "You wouldn't be lying to me, would you?" A bout of teasing entered his voice, perhaps brought to the surface by her laughing fit. But still…she played along.

"When have I ever done such a thing," she quirked a brow at him; waiting for him to counter.

"All the time, actually," he chuckled softly, "I think you enjoy making our lives difficult."

Edward waited for the telltale signs that an argument was about to ensue, and sure enough, her lips tightened and her brows lowered.

"If you hadn't lost your temper then I wouldn't have run," she spoke the words he was trying and failing to apologize for. The amount of guilt and despair he felt for causing her to flee was something he could never explain, but perhaps…something he could show.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked, her muscles suddenly going tense, but she did not withdraw.

He kept his mouth shut, only raising his brows as he pointed his eyes to her cut. He wondered if she would be able to see his invisible magic when he healed her since only those closest to him were able to even sense it, let alone _see_ it. It was perhaps a useless experiment to satisfy his own curiosity, but he longed to know.

Sure enough, Bella looked warily to her arm as her eyes widened at the white light that emitted from his palm. He could only watch in breathless wonder as Bella's eyes unmistakably drank up his power.

And she didn't withdraw from it.

Edward only continued to the gash on her hip; his chest tightening when he felt the bones there. She was still so weak and frail that he would have to double the amount of food she consumed. But Bella only continued to watch in complete rapture as Edward healed the wound on her leg.

When it was all done, he hoped it was awe, not shock, as her mouth popped open slightly, "Thank you," she murmured.

He rose from the bed, turning in preparation for the words he could not explain. Even though he wanted to tell her why he had snapped last night, that his anger was not his own, he knew it would only make him sound in genuine.

And he figured it was time to take responsibility for his actions.

"I owe you an apology, Bella."

"For what?"

He ran his hands through his hair to stop them from clenching, "I'm sorry for what was said back in the study. I wish I could take it back."

All of it, he wished he could rip the words from her very memory, but he knew he could not; "Do you forgive me?"

She bit her lip, "Perhaps, but I might have a condition."

He huffed in relief, leave it to her to turn this into a negotiation, "And what is that?"

She paused for a moment before demanding in one breath, "I want to be able to go upstairs—"

He opened his mouth to object, but she spoke on.

"—I won't pry, I just want to be able to use the library," she gave him a tentative pout; and he ignored the way it pulled at his gut…

"Fine," He agreed in defeat, "So am I now forgiven?" He didn't know why it was so important to him, but something deep down knew it would continue to weigh on him if she didn't say the words.

"I suppose," was all she said. And in only those two words, he felt the power.

As her eyes narrowed, she knew the hold she was starting to have over him.

' _The High Lord of the Night court, see how he holds his breath as the human decides whether or not to forgive him…"_ the demon cackled.

He rolled his eyes, knowing very well he had perhaps doomed himself to hell and back, "I thank you for granting a man another chance," he said snidely, perhaps, only saying it in hope to regain some of the ground she had stolen from under his very feet.

He wasn't used to this; to her being able to persuade him with only a pout and a plea.

Within just a few days, she had threatened to capture his very soul in her grasp. And although his mind roared at the inkling that a human could have such power…perhaps his soul liked it better in her capable hands.

He left her room quickly and as soon as he found Jasper he said, "Send notice to the villages right now, I'm going to personally hear all their grievances. Everyone, no matter how small."

He felt like a liar; a smarmy, slithering liar, and he was not worthy of Bella's forgiveness. He had taken out his anger on her; not just the Drake's; but his own. And not only did she not deserve any of it, but he had put her life in danger in the process.

So this would be his penance.

His friend only quirked his brows, "Where did this idea come from?"

He dragged his hand through his hair, "I need to start acting like the male I promised myself I would be."

"That's quite the statement," Jasper rubbed his chin, "If only we could find who caused this change in you," he said with twinkling eyes.

Edward playfully shoved the smirk right off his friend's face, "Send word. I set out tomorrow. I need to get out of my father's court before I lose my mind altogether."

His friend just gave him a knowing grin, "Yet, who do you leave behind?"

He didn't have to ask who his friend was speaking of. Bella would have to stay here for the time being, but he knew he didn't leave her behind, not really.

For the moment he had seen her in that dilapidated cabin, no matter how he fought against it, his soul had already known the truth.

He was utterly hers.

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 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Wow! Almost 100 reviews! I am having so much fun writing this and reading everyone's reactions. So thank you to all you readers and reviewers that keep me going, and a special thanks to my beta SunFlowerfran. Hope you all enjoy :)**

 **I do not own a Court of Thorns and Roses**

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Edward didn't know how, but he was determined to make it right. He needed to fulfill a promise he had made to himself.

So after a lengthy debriefing on politics and economics from Jasper, he was ready to set off to the villages with coin in his pockets, and hope in his heart that this would help ease the mistakes of his past.

But just as Edward neared his chambers, he heard an unmistakable heartbeat, and then a sharp inhale of breath that could only belong to one person.

Bella.

After the ordeal with the Oillteil, Edward convinced himself to let her be on her own; to allow her to _heal_. And perhaps it was for the better if she never again saw him, or perhaps it was his guilt that made him divert his path each time he heard her enter his study. But after only a day of not seeing her face, he was growing mad with the thought of her.

It was if the moment he had uttered those words to the Oillteil, they had locked something into place. The act of announcing it to the world ...

' _She is not discarded, she is mine.'_

It had erased every chance of Edward ignoring the bond any longer. So he gave into the promise and allowed himself to go to her.

He found her in his study; Bella apparently not wasting any time after their bargain to start exploring. She was standing among his messy bookshelves, her hair unbound across her back and wearing what looked like a brightly-colored dress that made her skin shine: the sight almost made it seem like yesterday was just a nightmare.

Almost.

"How does he find anything?" she grumbled to herself just as Edward stepped across the room.

She was tiny compared to the massive walls of books, but her eyes were alit with that familiar wonder.

"Need help?" he called, and she let out a sharp cry before turning in surprise.

"Sorry," Edward murmured when he heard how her heart thundered and her face darkened with a flush.

"Why do you insist on sneaking up on me?" she gasped, her chest heaving with each breath she took.

"I don't mean to, it's hard to remember you have human hearing. I practically stomped the entire way over to you," he admitted, but she only lifted her chin higher.

"Well, be louder next time," she ordered halfheartedly because her eyes had started to drift lower.

Edward's hands itched to straighten the overcoat and vest he wore, suddenly self-conscious of her eyes on him. He hoped he had coordinated the proper shades despite his cursed eyes, for her good opinion was in mind when he dressed that morning.

His demon voice only laughed, ' _Quite pathetic, if you ask me.'_

"Actually, I wouldn't mind some help," she said suddenly.

"Admitting defeat, are you?" Edward asked with a small smirk towards the towers of books. It seemed odd only yesterday did he roar those terrible words at her, and from the distant look on her face, she was thinking the same.

"Yes. I don't know what your system is, but it's a mess," if he didn't know any better, he would have thought her teasing.

Edward found himself releasing a rough laugh, "It's the only place that's truly mine. No one has ever seen it," he hoped she would find pleasure in knowing he shared it only with her, "—Not even the servants. So, there's no need to keep it as orderly as the other rooms."

She hummed her answer, her eyes analytical as she gave him another once over. His shoulders stiffened from her gaze; from the power of it, "Care to shorten my search and tell me where faerie history books might be?" she asked.

His phantom heart would have stopped if he had one. Bella knew what he was; had somehow discovered exactly what creatures she lived amongst. And _still,_ she allowed him in the same room as her.

"So you figured it out?" was all he said; a severe understatement to what was roaring in his veins ... _she knows, she knows…_

Bella merely shrugged, "Alice told me what your kind are called. But I don't know much else."

"Yes, well," he released a sigh knowing that Alice revealed nothing else _, "_ I was hoping to keep it that way," Indeed. If Bella knew his bloodline, or what danger she was in because of it, he knew she would never be accepting.

"Is it that big of a secret?" she cocked her head.

"It's not earthshattering or anything, mostly just embarrassing," Edward feigned nonchalance because he knew this day was coming; that Bella would demand her answers, but he would have to tell her just who he was.

Victoria was one thing, but if the rest of the world knew that Bella was mated to the Lord of Night, she would be hunted for the hold she had over him; and for her own power.

His throat caught at the thought.

"How can an entire history of people be embarrassing?" she asked.

Edward wasn't able to control his bitter laugh, "It's shameful because of how we came to power, even to when we lost our reign of the world."

If only he could tell her the whole story one day; share the guilt that rested on his shoulders. But he only averted his gaze.

"Were you alive to see the war?" her voice was quiet; careful.

He wavered.

Should he tell her just how ancient he was?

"I was just a child, unable to understand what was happening," Edward said instead; better not to put a number on it. He was alive only fifty years before the war his father and Victoria started, but not old enough to stop it.

Bella barely absorbed the information; her eyes widening in understanding that he was at least half a millennia old. And no doubt, how her time on earth was like a grain of sand compared to his vast sea.

"Oh," she murmured, her eyes going painfully dim. She was probably disgusted by how much he surpassed her in years, despite his frozen youth.

"I can show you where to find books about faeries," he said after their too-long silence, eager to change the subject, "But I'm afraid I can't help you further. I have some other matters to attend to today," he said, suddenly regretting the plans he had made. He wanted to make sure she didn't dig too deep into their history…

Did she long to ask what side of the war he was on? Or just what kind of past he had endured?

Either way, Edward led her to his favorite corner of the study; showing her the shelves that held the entire timeline of his race; good and bad.

"These will tell you all you would ever want to know," he said, encouraged to see how her eyes drifted along the leathery bindings of each book. This would hopefully keep her occupied while he was away.

"Thank you, truly," she offered him a small smile, and Edward's chest tightened at the sight. He knew she would be pleased knowing she was allowed to share in this small slice of his life, but he longed to give her more; _show_ her more than his father's wretched court.

But he only gave her a quick bow before he set off to become the male she deserved him to be.

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Edward returned from his trip later that night; his body and mind aching with the travel and the suffering of the Spring Court's people. He had heard all their grievances, flying from town square to town square and giving what he could afford, and listening to the rest. And he was beyond exhausted.

But as soon as he entered the castle, his magic started to recharge, and his muscles began to loosen from the strain of using his wings all day. And he didn't have to guess as to why.

Bella was like a living battery, and he was discovering that all he had to do was be near her for his mind and body to replenish.

But his aching bones were not the only reason he longed to see her face; hear her voice. He was growing to like her, their brief but entertaining conversations the only source of light in a world of darkness. And after such a strenuous day, the need was so natural he didn't realize he was already heading to the study.

Edward found her easily enough, right where he left her. And although the room had previously smelled only of him, after her brief time inside, her scent had taken over everything.

And he liked it better that way.

He made sure his footfalls were heavy enough when he approached so she could hear him. And sure enough, her head perked to his presence.

"Did I make enough noise this time?" he asked with raised brows, and he noted Bella's face soften when she saw him.

"Yes, I actually heard your approach for once," her eyes were lit with whatever information she had discovered, and he couldn't help but warm to their newfound ease.

"Good to know, although if I had to stomp one more time, I would have thought you completely deaf," he gave her a bright smile, hoping she would grant him the same, but she only blinked at him.

"Are you all right, is your arm bothering you?" he gave her a once over when she had yet to respond. He even allowed himself to take a step closer; so close that her essence weaved with his magic. But he stopped when he felt how it sent tingles down his spine.

"Yes, it's just," Bella lowered her eyes before eventually finding his again, "I've never seen you actually smile before."

Her voice coated his senses as he slowly absorbed her words. Was it true, that he hadn't given her a genuine smile?

"It's been a while since I've had a reason to," he said truthfully, his eyes intent on her. And the past forty-nine years came flashing back; all the darkness and despair he felt; it had almost consumed him.

But then he had found her.

"How long?"

"Long enough," he grumbled. For too long he had avoided what the Gods had destined him for. And Edward couldn't help but wonder how it would have been different if he accepted it sooner…

"So, I suppose you're hungry?" he asked to clear the heavy air between them.

Her eyes widened as if she just realized her empty stomach, "Yes."

"Good, because I took the liberty of bringing dinner to you," Edward said rather cheerfully. He should have lifted his father's curse a long time ago.

Bella gave him a skeptical look, "I thought you didn't allow any food outside the dining hall."

Edward then pulled the cart full of food he had hidden behind a bookshelf with his magic. "You broke that a long time ago. I know you probably want to keep reading, but we can't have you starving, now can we?" He nodded to her pile of books before bringing his eyes back to her.

But Bella was silent as she stared up at him, her face distant.

Edward shifted on his feet, "If you don't want it, I'll just send it back," he motioned behind him, feeling like a bumbling idiot; she _made_ him feel like a bumbling idiot.

"No!" She suddenly cried, as Edward released a shaky breath. He thought she was about to refuse his offer, so he was more than happy to leave her with the cart of food to eat in solitude. However, just after he gave his bow and prepared to leave, she said, "Well, aren't you staying?"

Edward blinked, the picture of her cocked hip and quirked brow making his phantom heart go soft, "You actually want me to?" he gulped at her soft smile, the way it warmed her eyes…

"Yes, I have many more questions," she said with mock sternness.

He couldn't help but chuckle at her persistence, "Then I'll stay and answer them for you."

Edward tried to silence his thrumming magic when he sat across from her, willing the cart to appear next to them only to drain some of the power Bella seemed to bring to the surface.

Bella did well of silencing her scream of surprise, but she only turned to him, and the proximity of her alone made his power expand. He wondered if she felt it calling to her…

"First of all, how do you do that?"

He gulped, afraid that she _could_ sense his power, but her eyes were pointed at the food cart. "How do I make things appear and disappear, you mean?" He made their place setting appear to confirm her question.

"Yes, I'm curious as to how it works," she ignored the wine that appeared as well, only folding her hands under her chin as she looked to him. The movement made her scent waft in a billowing cloud, and it was an effort not to physically groan when it hit his nostrils. Instead, he paid attention to their meal; carefully placing a bigger slab of lamb and vegetables onto her plate.

"I assume you've already read that faeries' power comes from the earth?" Edward braced his hands on the table only to stop them from touching her.

She nodded once, cutting a slice of meat and bringing it to her mouth. And Edward was unable to stop from watching how her lips wrapped around the fork…

He cleared his throat, "Well, the energy from the world can manifest itself in the faeries that are worthy, and after years of schooling and learning to control one's gift, we can access our magic like a reservoir within ourselves. But like all reservoirs, they can become dry without proper time to replenish themselves, which is why I sometimes grow tired," Unlike his current situation, where he was merely sitting at the same table as Bella, and his power was boiling to come out.

All because of the simply proximity. What would happen if he ever got closer?

"Did it take a lot of energy to fight the Oillteil?" she blushed slightly, and Edward was unable to answer. The shade spread down her neck and across her chest, and his magic roared at the sight. So he only nodded as she continued, "So you're one of the Fae, then, blessed with some magic but not as much as the High Fae?"

Her words pulled him from his trance, but he was absolutely speechless. How had she known? "And what makes you think that?" his tone was so sharp that it made her recoil. This would not bode well if she knew he was High Fae; then she would soon discover he was High Lord as well…

"The books I read said that the High Fae's power was endless," she said. He couldn't stop his scoff. Everyone liked to assume their magic was infinite, that it came without a price, but such power can take its toll.

"It's certainly not endless, but I guess it would appear that way to you humans." His choice of words made her withdraw even more, but she was meddling too deeply into his world, and her knowledge would only put her in danger.

"I'm sorry if I've overstepped—" she murmured, and he lowered his head with the wave of his hand.

The weight of her discovery seemed to physically rest on his shoulders. He knew it was a mistake to allow her to dig deeper…for she was slowly uncovering what he so desperately wanted to remain buried.

' _Don't you see, my darling,'_ Victoria's voice echoed in his skull, _'I'm going to make you better. I'm going to turn you_ _from some, half-breed, bastard into a son of a_ High Lord _. A true High Fae that a father can be proud of.'_

Edward let loose a sweeping breath, hating how people always wanted to shove him into some category or another.

His mother never knew what he was, since he was born of High Fae, but had become something else…something darker.

His father from the Spring Court, was always pushing Edward aside; complaining that his wife had given him a mere Fae son; not High Fae like the rest of them. That was, of course, before he discovered Edward's true lineage.

Furious, his father had hired Victoria. She and her spell book had claimed that she could warp Edward's bloodline into something else, that he could be made into a son of the Spring Court. And she had succeeded.

And then there was Bella, unknowingly trying to do the same thing everyone else had: she was only trying to gauge his power without knowing what she was really saying, but it still made him ache to know she could never know the truth.

Because Edward didn't know what category he fit into. Faerie, Fae or High Fae; he was something the world had never seen before. His range of gifts, his beast form proved all of that, but more than anything, his ability to withstand the amount of power he was saddled with was almost impossible.

Perhaps he lashed out because he was too frightened to tell Bella that before the curse, his magic _did_ seem endless. And such a gift terrified him.

Edward raised his head to tell her exactly that, and apologize for his rudeness, but her own head was lowered; her lips quivering slightly.

And before he knew what his hand was doing, he reached across the table to place his finger under her chin.

He deftly ignored how his beast seemed to purr at the contact, but eased her head higher until her dark eyes met his.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to snap at you," her name felt natural to his tongue, and he longed to say it over and over again; and Bella seemed to agree by how her gaze drifted along his features before it glazed over completely.

"You're doing this on purpose," her speech was sluggish, and Edward realized that even in his cursed state, she had stared too long, and his magic had pounced on that weakness.

For even if she was his true match, he knew his power would never stop from trying to take her…claim her.

Edward retracted his finger.

"I'm sorry," he said stiffly making sure none of his magic had started to seep into her mind, "I didn't mean to do that."

She shook her head slightly, and a bit more clarity reached her eyes as she cleared her throat, "Can all faerie manipulate that way?"

"Only Fae and High Fae," he grumbled, but he knew what had just happened was something else. Embarrassed that he had allowed his instincts to take over, he adverted his eyes. For even if Bella thought it was an accident, he knew the truth behind what had almost occurred.

Edward wanted her so deeply that he _let_ his power call to her. He wanted to bring that finger up to her lips and feel the heat there, he wanted to use that hand to do other things as well; to bring her pleasure she could never imagine.

But he only stood, in an effort to silence such thoughts; making her empty dishes disappear to divert his mind elsewhere. She only looked at him, "And which are you?"

He allowed the sadness to reach his eyes. If Edward told her what he was, and she got hurt because of it, he wouldn't be able to live with himself, "I am neither, now," was all he said before he left her with the company of only his books.

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 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Over one hundred reviews! I'm loving all the feedback, so keep it coming. Thank you to all the readers and reviewers, and of course my Beta SunFlowerfran. Hope everyone enjoys :)**

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Edward entered the dining room the next morning, the bags under his eyes far worse than usual. He had avoided Bella the rest of the day by going over the financial records and marking the villages in direst need of money and food. But that only inherently caused him more stress.

Jasper looked up from his books when he heard him enter, "Are you by any chance avoiding a certain someone? I went to your study to try and find you, and all I found was our favorite human."

"I'm avoiding no one," Edward lied, sitting down across the table as he willed his legs to stay put before they went back to Bella on their own accord.

Jasper just gave him a look.

"Bella discovered our history yesterday," Edward resigned with a sigh as Jasper raised his brows, "Alice let it slip about our race, and I guess Bella put two and two together. So, I've been staying away from her, yes, until I can figure out how to explain it all."

Jasper smiled, "So you mean she knows about your true lineage?"

He let his head drop into his hands, "Thankfully not. She only discovered the faerie classes. But I don't plan on telling her more, anytime soon."

"Why not?" Jasper said sharply, "If she knew you were trapped here by Victoria, perhaps Bella would sympathize, and that would bring her to our cause."

"She's barely surviving through the terrors of being brought here," Edward groaned, "So telling her anything more about the curse is out of the question."

"But why? Edward, you can't just keep her here forever without telling her _something_ , you have to—"

"I have to do nothing!" he suddenly shouted, standing instantly as his hands planted on the table.

The sentry was wise to remain quiet. For even if they were close friends, right now Edward was nothing more than Jasper's superior.

"I will not doom a human to our world, curse or no. Do you understand?" he asked.

Jasper nodded once, but his jaw clenched slightly, "Understood."

Edward knew what his friend was really thinking, for his demon had realized the same: ' _you doomed her the moment you set foot in her house.'_

Edward only rolled his shoulders and lowered himself back into his chair, "Good. Now, have you found anything that could help us?"

Edward's knew his friend understood his sudden sternness as his way of enacting his duty, but he wasn't an idiot to think Jasper wouldn't push more later.

And before the sentry could say anything else, Edward sensed her.

Her heartbeat was barely audible, but it was slowly increasing as her breathing struggled to stay normal.

Bella was coming to breakfast, and for some reason she was nervous.

He had hoped she would take her meal in her room only to delay her meeting Jasper a bit longer, but it appeared as if the decision was made for him, after last night that is.

Steeling one look to Jasper, he braced himself for the occasion. Oh, this would not bode well.

"Be nice," Edward murmured under his breath as he heard Bella's heartbeat quicken as she got closer.

Jasper shrugged with a smile, "When have I been anything but?" There it was, that mischievous grin that had gotten both of them into trouble in the past. Well, it had gotten Edward in trouble with his father as he tried to defend his friend, but that same charm usually got females into Jasper's bed.

He had a feeling today wouldn't be any different.

Edward physically braced himself when he heard her approach, "Ah, there you are. I was wondering if you were going to—"

He cut himself off a soon as his eyes focused, and although her scent seemed to call to him more than usual this day, her lovely perfume was nothing compared to how she looked.

Because Bella was dressed like sin itself.

Edward was unable to take his eyes off her; his ears dimly hearing a clatter of a fork falling to the ground. It was the only noise in the hall other than her quiet breathing. That, and his seizing chest.

She looked radiant.

The enchanted food and water she had been served the past few days had given meat to her bones, color to her skin, and well…it gave her a devastatingly stunning figure.

Her shoulders were still slender, but her bones were no longer the first thing he saw. Instead, her body sloped and curved gently, and in the proper places.

In addition, Edward quickly took note of all the places he now wanted to explore with his hands ... his mouth…

Her dress: he knew the shade of silk must have been a vibrant one because it made her hair and eyes look impossibly richer. And Gods, it showcased her full breasts, a healthy waist, and smoothly sloping hips.

And even if the dips and turns of her body were places any normal male would want to touch, deep inside his bones, Edward knew this sort of wanting was different.

He wanted to _worship_ her; he wanted to get on his knees and explore every freckle, every scar.

And he wanted to do it over and over again until he knew nothing but that heavenly body…

He was doomed.

And Edward suddenly had to adjust himself.

Jasper gave him a knowing look but thankfully returned to his meal while pretending his plate was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. But it was the sentinel who finally spoke,

"You must be Bella."

Edward blinked, unmoving; even as Bella took a hesitant seat with a small nod. He had yet to introduce Japer. But his mouth stayed shut, unable not to gauge her every reaction with bated breath.

Bella took in Jasper with wide eyes and tight lips. And Edward wondered if it was just nerves or if she found Jasper handsome.

His beast roared at the thought.

"It's so good to finally meet you, I'm Jasper," his friend drawled after it was clear Edward was not going to speak.

' _Claim her here and now, and put an end to all this,'_ the demon voice demanded, but Edward flared his nostrils to silence such a thought. He had no claim to her; well…no official claim at least. And it would have to stay that way.

"Nice to meet you," she murmured, her voice distant as she looked to the food instead.

Edward realized he should say something.

"Jasper is one of my sentries. He just got back from a—patrol," he hoped that would explain why she had yet to meet him. Because both Jasper and Edward knew why Bella had been kept away.

Edward was afraid.

He was terrified that with one look at the gold-haired male and that witty charm, Bella would fall.

But she only nodded, and Edward wanted to ask why she said nothing, why she didn't speak and grant him the sound of that beautiful voice. Was she afraid, or just starstruck?

His eyes snapped to her hand that reached for a platter of food, and before his mind even realized what he was doing, his magic had filled the plate.

' _Show off,'_ Jasper muttered through his mind, but Edward only heard her tiny gasp.

Bella's eyes flew to Jasper in a silent question. And even if Edward knew her reflex was innocent, there was the nagging question in the back of his mind, _why didn't she turn to him?_

Edward heard a roaring in his head, and he realized that it wasn't his beast reacting.

But himself.

Jasper just pointed a look at his friend, silently saying, ' _I know you're jealous, but there is no need. I've lived long enough to know when a female wants nothing to do with me.'  
_ And even though there was a bout of teasing in his friend's voice, Edward knew it was a reassurance as well; a lie that Jasper told Edward to calm him.

It was as if the High Lord had suddenly become a wild animal.

But he _was_ wild.

It was an effort to stay in his seat; not to rip the throat out of his friend of two hundred years.

Fae with their mates were no better than raging beasts reacting on pure instinct.

And even if Bella had not accepted any part of Edward or the bond between them, that didn't mean he wouldn't kill any male from trying.

When Bella realized that it was Edward that had served the food, she gave a small, "Thank you."

"Did you sleep well?" Edward asked stiffly, his mind instead wandering to when she had stumbled into his study and invited her into his room.

It was a mistake to think of it because all he could imagine was the way she looked in her lace nightgown; how her skin glowed in the low firelight or the way the silk fabric brushed against her legs as she moved; how it clung to her breasts…

" _The Oillteil are becoming braver, Edward," Jasper said from his chambers that previous night, "They attacked the human on your lands, what next?"_

 _Edward ran a hand through his hair, "All I know is that I'm grateful for your help with this. As we draw closer, monsters have been slowly slipping in," he knew it was a message from Victoria; that they were running out of time._

" _Do you think it's on purpose, perhaps a warning of sorts?" Jasper crossed his arms, his head motioning to the wall that separated his chambers from the study. Edward merely nodded, knowing that Bella was eavesdropping from the other side. He had heard her enter._

" _You mean from her?" Edward answered the silent question that Jasper was asking. Would they have to sacrifice Bella like the Drake had foretold?_

" _We're running out of time here, Edward." Jasper groaned._

 _Edward just said, "Tell me something I don't know," and his ears pricked to Bella's heavy breathing. She no doubt, was able to hear their every word._

" _Then say it already, and we can be done with this mess." Jasper threw his hands in the air._

" _It means nothing if I say it. The feeling has to be mutual." The passage was precise, and Edward could only imagine what Bella was gleaning from their conversation._

" _But do you," Jasper said lower so Bella couldn't hear, "Do you love her?_

 _Edward simply nodded. He perhaps loved her the first moment he saw her, and the rest of the time was him trying to deny it in sake of her safety, and the danger if she ever loved him back._

" _Well get on it then, we would all like to be back to normal at least by the end of the century." Jasper said._

" _Don't lecture me on what needs to be done, Jasper. I know well enough," He flashed his teeth in a warning growl, but the curse had robbed him of his canines. He was used to Jasper pushing his buttons, but this was different. Now Bella was part of the equation._

 _His friend stepped closer, his eyes filled with intent, "Maybe if I could meet her, I would be able to move things along—"_

 _Edward let loose a very real growl this time. "If she loves me, then yes, the curse is broken. But as soon as she says the words, she will be hunted for the rest of her life, just for loving me she will be killed." Edward seethed so low that Bella could never hear him, "Is that what you want?"_

 _It was selfish to want to share a life with her, to accept the mating bond; for the moment they do, their enemies would see Bella as a tool to undermine the most powerful High Lord in their history._

" _I could train her, you know." Jasper's eyes were determined, "She could learn to fight for herself and for you. She could fight for all of us, Edward."_

 _He went still. He had never allowed the thought to seep into his mind. He would never damn her to share his life._

 _But Edward just brushed it all off with a chuckle, "Why would I ever do that? You would only scare her off with your ugly mug," Edward teased, but he knew he had shared too much._

" _You think I couldn't handle her?" Jasper asked with raised brows._

" _Yes, when the time comes, I have no doubt she will give you a run for your money." He said loud enough so Bella's ears could hear them. He wondered if she had understood who they were of._

" _I am happy for you Edward, sincerely." Jasper clapped him on the shoulder, a weary gaze towards the opposite wall where Edward sensed her standing, "But please, try to heed the warning. We may be near immortal, but time is still upon us." Jasper left without another word, but he could see the wicked gleam in his friend's eyes. He knew Bella was still listening._

 _Only when Jasper had left, could he hear the full extent of her presence. His beast was smiling with mischief at the late hour, offering up many options as to how Edward could invite her in._

 _But all he said was, "Come out, I know you're still there."_

 _Her breathing hitched, and she let out a small sound that made Edwar's blood roar. But she had yet to move._

 _So Edward nudged the hidden door imbedded in the wall, that finally reveal Bella to him._

" _I'm sorry," she grimaced as soon as she met his eyes; and even in the dim firelight, Edward could see the thin white nightgown she wore, a sheer rope doing nothing to hide her underthings. Even though it was dark, he could see her hair was pulled back in a messy braid that sat across her shoulders, a few locks falling out to frame her face. She looked heavenly._

 _He watched her swallow in anticipation, and he merely quirked a finger for her to join._

 _He allowed her a moment to take in the surroundings, and her eyes widened as she took in the bed; and Edward's thoughts went ravenous at the sight._

 _He imagined laying her on that very bed, and peeling off the delicate lace that kissed her skin only to replace it with his mouth, his tongue…_

 _He stifled any further dreaming with a grumble, letting loose some of the strain by making hot tea appear with his magic._

 _Bella was still gazing at the fire when he offered her a cup; and her fingers brushed his._

 _It was an effort not to groan at the touch as she ignited his magic._

 _But he forced his feet to take a step back._

" _Couldn't sleep?" he asked thickly._

 _He counted the seconds it took for her eyes to meet his, only for her gaze to drag along his form. What she thought of only his sleep shirt and pants, he didn't know, but she only nodded._

" _You're not having nightmares, are you?" he felt his brows crinkle in worry, but Bella shook her head. She couldn't bear to look at him._

 _So he asked the question that was hanging between them, "Bella, what did you hear?"_

 _She bit her lip, and Edward felt his muscles stiffened. He was going to have to work on his self-control, or being with her would be agonizing,_

" _The man called Jasper spoke of a woman and time running out. That was all I heard."_

 _She knew about the deadline then, but she wasn't able to understand everything. He thanked the gods for the small blessing._

" _And what did you make of it?" he asked, searching for that connection he was given her first few days here, but it had not returned since; so he would have to do things the old fashioned way._

 _Bella wavered, "Out of context, I still don't know what you were referring to. I assumed you were talking of a women you plan to court."_

 _He blinked when he saw the blush start to bloom along her cheeks, before spreading lower. This time, Edward didn't let his eyes wander, only flaring his nostrils at her words: Bella thought he was after another female._

'Claim her' _the demon cooed,_ 'Tell her whom you really desire,'

 _He gulped back the image of her breathing his name, of her sprawled out for him as she repeated it over and over. And his blood seemed to thrum in relentless encouragement._

" _Very well. Now back to bed." He said a too loudly, but forced himself to turn his back, or else he wouldn't be able to stop from taking her right then and there._

" _Is that it then?" Her sharp voice raked against the leash that held his beast at bay._

" _Yes," he said through clenched teeth, "Now, goodnight." He prayed she would leave, for if she persisted again, he wouldn't be able to control it any longer._

 _Finally, her footsteps retreated, but not before she murmured, "Goodnight,"_

 _Edward closed his eyes and willed his breathing to calm. But Gods, he wanted her. And as soon as she closed that door, he threw the first thing he saw._

 _How had he been foolish to think he could control it any longer?_

Edward blinked at the memory, his eyes flicking to the view of her chest that her dress granted; the skin there creamier than even her neck in the firelight. But he quickly snapped his gaze back into place.

He was a fool to think of it, to think of her in that way. But still; his body was growing drunk on the image of all that porcelain flesh bare only for him; oh, what her lips must taste like, what noises she would make…

He heard Jasper stifle a chuckle.

"Yes, thank you," she said as Edward took an audible gulp.

Gods, this was agonizing. What had he been thinking of bringing her here?

' _You were thinking of your people.'_ The demon voice answered, ' _But now it seems all you're capable of thinking of, is with your co—"_

"—So, are you enjoying your time here, Bella?" Jasper asked.

The question was enough to snap Edward from his thoughts. And even though his friend had gone out of line asking it, his mind was suddenly thrumming to know the answer. _Does she like it here, does she like…me?_

"Yes, I am actually," she answered, and Edward's chest swelled.

He had never thought to ask her if she was enjoying her time here; to make sure of her well-being.

He knew Jasper, however, inquired only to further his own cause. And whatever Jasper's reason was, Edward was positive it couldn't be good.

"And will you be staying with us for a while?" Jasper asked.

There it was.

It was a loaded question for sure, one that Bella would never answer honestly, and they both knew it as her face crumpled.

Edward flashed his eyes to Jasper and let out a low warning growl, ' _No more,'_ he warned his friend through his mind. Bella pulled her lip into her mouth as she started to wring her hands together.

"Jasper," he heard himself warn out loud, but his friend seemed quite content to carry on.

"Don't be such a brute," Jasper gave him a wide smile, "I'm just asking your guest if she plans to stay with us."

Damn him.

' _Stop it now,_ ' Edwards shot through is mind. Jasper was using Bella to further his own cause; to force Edward to either use Bella to break their curse, or force him to take a stand against Victoria himself.

' _Someone has to ask the hard questions,'_ Jasper replied through his mind.

Edward raised his brows at the challenge, "Stop berating her Jasper, or I'll have you running rounds until midnight." An empty threat that he hated giving, but Jasper needed to stop before he pushed her away even more.

' _Is that what you want?'_ Edward asked; distantly wondering if Bella was keen to the fact that they were having two different conversations; one silent and one out loud.

' _I want you to do_ something _,'_ Jasper said.

"I was just asking the human if she liked our lands as well as home?"

 _Home._

The word echoed over and over, and all Edward could do was look to Bella; desperate to hear her response, even if he knew he wouldn't particularly like the answer.

She bit her lip before saying softly, "Although it's rather…nice here, wouldn't anyone prefer their home?" her words were chosen carefully, and Edward went still.

He couldn't move; couldn't _think_ as her soft voice rung over and over like a never-ending chime. _But wouldn't anyone prefer their home?_

She was lying.

Bella had put it nicely, the words meant to keep her safe and keep her in good terms with them. But the truth was stark in her words: she did not want to be here.

' _Neither do you,'_ his demon voice cackled, ' _you were forced to stay here, just as she is, or don't you remember?'_

Edward did remember. He remembered it all.

He remembered when he was old enough after his mother had finally told Edward his true lineage. He had left the Spring Court in search of the Night Court that very same day. To find the truth about himself, and perhaps solve a question he had been asking himself his entire life.

And what he found in the Night Court was unlike anything he had ever seen before: faerie and High Fae were living among each other. Different types of faeries he hadn't even seen before were valued as allies and treated as equals.

In the court of his father; his real father, Edward discovered how their bloodlines were diverse. None of them were caught up in keeping lines pure as everyone welcomed marriages for love, rather than status or breeding. And in turn, Fae from the Night Court had become stronger over the years; had turned into a different breed from other courts.

And Edward, being a son of both Spring and Night, well, he was something else entirely.

But most of all, he remembered how it felt to feel at home there. It was like finding a piece of his soul that he never knew he had lost.

And he had taken that from Bella.

How could he shame himself so perversely?

Without permission, his muscles clenched under the phantom feeling of chains around his wrists and his neck. He swore he felt that witch's mouth at his ear, whispering that pain was simply a catalyst, that this was the only way he could be accepted by the Spring Court; his new home. But that was the only thing she could never change in him.

Because Edward had never really had a home.

Not until he found Bella.

"Is that so? And pray tell, why is that? Is it so much better over there?" Jasper's sharp voice was still berating Bella. However, Edward was helpless to stop it; the sound of Victoria's voice had forced him mute, "Or perhaps you have a man back home?"

A deathly calm settled over his bones at that moment, every tendon, every morsel of his body bending to those words: _a man._

Hearing that was the only way Edward was able to take back his mind from the assaulting memories.

"Jasper, enough," his voice was low, commanding: an order from a Lord to a subject.

Jasper only shrugged and shot through his mind, ' _It was a question that needed to be asked. Forgive my harshness. We don't want Bella getting the wrong idea about who cares for her, can we?"'_

Edward wanted to throttle his sentry, but he also wanted to hear the answers to all the questions he was asking.

He was acutely aware of just how terrible he was to allow Bella to be asked something so personal. Nevertheless, his curiosity prevailed.

"It's an honest question. I just want to know why Bella decided to run away from us. Is it so terrible here?" Jasper raised a brow at her.

"No," Bella's voice was firm; a flash of the heat that Edward knew lingered inside.

Jasper only smiled, apparently satisfied, "See then?" Jasper turned to Edward, "So the only other option to her little escape act was that she was running back to her beloved's arms."

Bella clenched her teeth, and Edward felt a ripple of _something,_ he didn't know what—expand around him. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought it was Bella's own form of magic warning his.

 _Turn back now._

He quickly rolled off the sensation, the only thought that made the weight of the feeling go away, was that humans didn't have any magic; they _couldn't_ have any.

Could they?

"Well?" Jasper just grinned wider when she still hadn't answered, perhaps thinking he had won, "Have you ever been with a man?"

Edward was silent as he turned to her, and even the beast inside him waited in rapture for her to answer.

"I once knew a man, yes."

Edward blinked as every thought sunk into the background.

Because Edward was thankful that she was not a virgin.

If he knew she was untouched; unmared just for him, then it would have been a roaring in his veins like nothing he had ever felt before.

But knowing Bella had known another; someone to share her bed and relieve a bit of pain from her wretched life, if not for a moment. Then he was happy she had been given that much.

He did well to remind himself that Bella was not a prize to be won; to be given. The Gods did not create female mates for the males to possess.

His father had thought as much, actually going as far as to lock Edward's mother up so no other male could lay eyes on her.

And Edward saw how it broke his mother to know her own mate had imprisoned her. And it perhaps broke Edward too. Love freely given was not the same as ownership forcibly taken.

' _And yet, do you not do the same? Do you not keep her here, with you?'_ the beast cackled. Edward just swallowed, "Did you love him?" he asked tentatively to silence his own conscience.

 _Say yes._ He begged. Edward hoped she would say that her heart belonged to another; that nothing would ever compare to her first love…

But she said none of that, only looked at him with blank eyes and said, "No."

Edward's chest seized at her voice.

' _Why do you have to be such an ass?'_ he only groaned to Jasper through his mind.

' _Don't you see?_ ' Jasper quirked a silent brow, _"I'm pushing her right into your arms.'_

Edward didn't answer. But instead focused on how dead and hopeless Bella had sounded with admitting that she had never felt love.

That word, ' _No.'_ It was a gray cloud that hung over them for the rest of the meal.

Jasper remained silent, apparently satisfied by what he had done. His friend probably thought he was clever, but he would give his sentry an earful later.

But all Edward felt right then, was numb.

For deep beyond her answer, he knew a layer beneath the sadness and embarrassment he heard was Bella's same answer to something Edward had been wondering since she first granted him a smile.

Deep in the chambers of his un-beating heart, Edward was once unable to stop that blip of hope from growing. It was small at first, and he had willed it to stay buried with everything he had. But still, that trifling light kept him going; kept him working towards a better life for her and his people: That pathetic hope, ' _Could she ever love me?'_ he wondered.

But he knew the answer as clear as she had said it,

 **No.**

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 **A/N Whew, I know that was a sad one, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for a darkward. Things will get lighter and brighter soon :) Tell me what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thank you for all the feedback, keep it coming :) And thank my readers and reviewers and a big thank you to my beta SunFlowerfran!**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses, or Twilight**

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Edward left from the realization, only murmuring a doleful, "Be nice," Because he was unable to stay any longer. He knew it was pathetic to be angry, for who could ever love a cursed bastard like him? But still, that small blip of hope was just that.

He had hoped.

' _If you make her angry,'_ Edward said to Jasper through his mind, _'You'll have to answer to me._ '

Jasper just smiled in return.

Edward didn't know where he was going as he prowled through the halls but he knew as soon as his stomach retched, and his palms became sweaty, he was going to be sick.

He barely made it to the lavatory before he was losing everything he had eaten. And as disgusting as it was to be reduced to something so _human as_ this _,_ he deserved it.

He deserved everything he had been given; and more. He had refused Victoria for nothing more than his pride and arrogance. He had ignored his mother's pleading and gone to the night court instead. And now he was paying for all of it.

So it was fitting that Bella couldn't bear to look at him when she said she'd never felt love. And that silent look in her eyes told him she never _will,_ at least not with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When at last he was done, he cleaned himself up and went back to the dining hall. Jasper, with his sharp tongue, would no doubt be testing how tough Bella could be; and even if Edward was deep in his own pity, she didn't deserve that.

But Edward already knew Bella's strength…all too well. She had survived the Oillteil and being kidnapped from the only life she'd ever known, so he knew she'd survive the nosey sentry.

And no matter what Jasper pushed, Edward would make sure she survived past Victoria. Survived for years and years knowing nothing but happiness and prosperity.

And most of all, knowing nothing of Edward's cursed life.

"Have you had a tour of the ground yet?" he heard Jasper ask through the walls of the hallway, and Edward stopped to hear her answer.

"No, and I do not wish to," she said, a shimmer of fear in her voice and Edward knew why.

The Oillteil; those wretched monsters had made her too afraid to even step foot outside, and Edward shook with the shame of causing it.

"Oh," Jasper resigned, actually sounding surprised for once, "I just thought you—"

"Jasper," Edward's said tensely from the doorway, _'Don't push it,'_ he reminded through his mind. And he swallowed thickly when he heard Bella's heartbeat quicken. "I require your assistance," he lied.

' _Afraid my flirting is better than yours?'_ Jasper teased through his mind.

Edward fought not to roll his eyes, _"No, your idea of flirting sounds more like berating. Leave her be."_

Edward's eyes flashed to Bella, as hers did the same. But she quickly looked away.

Jasper stood before giving an over exaggerated bow, "It's been a pleasure, Lady Bella,"

Only when they were carefully out of Bella's ear-range did Jasper say, "Why'd you come and get me?"

"I came to get you," he sighed, "Because we need to fix this. She can't be trapped in here, Jasper, she has to go outside, or else she'll go mad."

"Like you did?" Jasper's words were not meant to harm, but they still shot straight to his heart, and the unavoidable pit there.

When Edward had returned from his visit to the Night Court those many years ago, he had been determined to find his mother and free them both from his father's terrible reign over their lives.

Because Edward had gone and met his father; his real father, that is. And with one look at the male that had sired him; of learning of the High Lord that had never stopped loving his mother even after she was mated to another, he saw what lives they could have had far away from her mate. And suddenly, Edward knew what needed to be done.

He returned to the Spring Court to take his mother away. Even if he knew his false father would hunt them until the end of time, anything would have been better than being trapped there.

But when Edward finally found his mother in her chambers, his father's vile hands held her back in bindings.

And by his side was a red-haired female he'd never before seen. before.

' _Had a nice visit to the Night Court, did we? Did you get to meet the male your whore mother fucked?'_ His father's voice still echoed in his skull, and the strange female smiled beside him.

' _We're leaving,'_ Edward ordered, channeling that anger deep inside himself. His eyes flashed to his terrified mother, and he tried to tell her with his eyes that everything would be okay, _'And you can't stop us.'_

He had been a fool to be so arrogant. At his age, he had barely been able to come to terms with the depth of his power, and his father took advantage of that.

And so, he had been imprisoned with his mother.

Edward went limp with the reminder, "That's why I need your help. You need to get her outside, Jasper."

"Why not you?" he asked, "Edward, you can't keep pushing her away."

"Yes, I can." His shoulders heaved with the weight of it, "I'm no good for her, Jasper. I can already see she's more relaxed around you, and you've only just met."

Somehow, his friend sensed the pain in the words, and he agreed with a nod, "What do you want me to do?"

"Train her," Edward's chest ached to say it; ached to know that she would have to be prepared for the worst scenario. But if he could give her even a sliver of advantage in this world, it would be to defend herself.

Even if the Fire Drake had affirmed what they all already knew, Edward would fight tooth and nail to make sure she never met that fate.

"You can start in the weapon's ward first, but eventually, try to get her outside," Edward said.

"Edward, I don't know what you're about to do. But just give us more time; we almost have the book translated—"

He shook his head to Jasper's unfinished plea. "That book only tells us what the Drake already did. And believe me when I say I will never let Bella face Victoria. But perhaps learning to defend herself will be some sort of…outlet for her. Will you do that for me, can I trust you to do this at least?" the unspoken words hung in his mind, _'Will you take care of her even when I'm gone?_ But he gulped them away.

His friend was uncharacteristically serious as he placed a hand on Edward's shoulder. Perhaps understanding what the High Lord was saying by giving Bella to his care.

Edward was going to sacrifice himself to Victoria.

Because even if he wasn't brave enough to do it for his people, he would have to be for her, for Bella.

He didn't know when; for he would have to make the preparations, but maybe in a week or in a month…But he would be ready, and he would do it before the clock ran out and doomed them all. He would do that for his mother's people and his own.

"You don't have to take on all the burdens yourself, my friend," Jasper said.

"Yes, I do." But beyond the sadness of knowing he was going to die by Victoria's hands, Edward was overwhelmingly grateful to have been given a small taste of what his life could have been without pain ... with Bella.

If he had been stronger or smarter, he might have been granted an eternity of being able to be with friends and family. But beyond his regrets and mistakes, Edward thanked the Gods for granting him a few days with her.

"Where are you going?" Jasper called as Edward began heading towards the door.

"I'm going to have some fun while I still can," He grinned, "And kill every last monster that thinks it can threaten the woman I care about."

And even if it would never be enough; never enough mornings of seeing her face, and never enough times of hearing her voice, Edward knew what a gift he had been given.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There was a small knock on Edward's chamber door, and his head popped up to see a wary-looking Alice. He was still tired from hunting the Oillteil after breakfast, but the work never seemed to end.

He motioned her in.

"Jasper told me what you're planning on doing," she said.

Edward went back to his work; a parchment filled with his demands to Victoria when he gave himself over. And it seemed like it would never be enough. But it would have to be.

"Jasper has a big mouth, as usual," was all she said, but a small smile was starting to form. He was glad Jasper had another to confide in, and he was happy that it was in Alice.

"I know I can't stop you, Edward. But can I at least ask when you're going to do it?"

He was careful to keep his eyes on his parchment and quill, because if he looked up and saw all the faces he never would see again, he would break down.

"After Antearrach, so I can at least give the people one last chance to survive before I leave."

"When that time comes, will you say goodbye to her?" Alice asked.

That forced his head up, and he saw the maid's face was stern, as if she was daring Edward to leave Bella without an explanation. It seemed as though his mate even won over the heart of the usually, closed-hearted Alice.

"I promise," he lied.

"If you won't do it beforehand, at least say something to her now. She's in the greenhouse."

Edward swallowed, "Alice—"

"No, excuses, not today. Do you know it's her birthday?"

Edward's eyes flared as he glanced at the calendar. He had lost track of the weeks that he hadn't realized she had turned nineteen. "Gods, I'm an idiot," he said.

"Yes, you are." Alice agreed, "Now if nothing else, find your courage and go say goodbye before it's too late. Give her that at least."

He only nodded.

Edward found Bella's scent overwhelmingly strong in the greenhouse, letting him know she was somewhere inside, as Alice had said. And it only took three seconds—he counted—to find her seated on a hidden bench.

He allowed his cursed eyes to take her in; her body so relaxed and her face at ease as she quietly sketched. For as soon as he made his presence known, her posture would go rigid and her eyes would go hard. And he wanted to remember her not afraid of him, but perhaps able to find a sliver of happiness in her time with them.

But when she ripped a page from her notebook and threw the crumpled paper at his feet, he couldn't stop from picking it up.

He could feel her eyes on him, and even if Bella had yet to say a word, he gently unrumpled the drawing and tried to ignore how the warmth from her skin still lingered on the parchment.

It was a well-sketched building she had made, while little squiggles of trees lined the sides and the background; and it was unmistakable what she had been trying to recreate.

"This is your home," he said softly; his muscles going taut at the realization.

"Yes," she said a bit thickly.

"It's a true likeness," he noted, "Even the trees you've drawn." Indeed; the details of the leaves and trunks made him smile, only so much detail could be given from someone who had seen them day after day.

And his heart sunk.

"If you say so," was all she said, clearly not comfortable with the compliment.

But what he didn't tell her was that it was perfect. And he went limp at the fact that this would be perhaps their last conversation together. And the visage of her house; that _shack_ where he had first smelled her scent at full power before seeing her face inside of it… well, he wanted to keep it forever. It seemed fitting, this being the anniversary of when he had first seen her as an infant. But he shut out the thought.

"May I keep this?" he asked.

And her usually firm features softened slightly, her brows lightening as her eyes went a bit warm. There; that was the picture he would remember.

"Of course, although I must say, I've drawn better," she said.

The comment made the corners of his mouth tug, and he just folded it carefully before placing it in the vest pocket closest to his heart.

' _Quite the symbolism, don't you think, if not a bit sappy,'_ his demon voice ridiculed.

And suddenly, Edward found the words he wanted to say caught in his throat. He couldn't have this be their last time together, "I came to ask if you wanted to take lunch out in the gardens."

She blinked up at him, "Lunch, in the gardens?"

"We could even—" he wavered as he pathetically motioned with his hands, "… talk about some of the questions you might still have?" He would have said anything to get her to agree to be with him one last time and for him to be the one she was with when she faced her fears.

But all she said was, "No."

' _When will you learn that she doesn't want to be with you?'_ it was not his demon voice that said it, but his own conscience.

"Thank you," she added starkly.

And he was unable to hide his shame and guilt as it shone on his face, "Very well." Was all he said. But the next words came without a filter and without hope of stopping them.

She was just so breathtaking, sitting in his mother's gardens, content to sketch away, alone. And the fact that she had rejected him had nothing to do with it.

"By the way," he said as she looked up, "You look beautiful today, Bella."

Let that be his last words to her; a gift on her birthday if he could give her nothing else. Hopefully, the way he caressed her name told her what he couldn't say out loud, and the fact he thought she was beautiful would stay with her for the rest of her days.

But she only blinked at his words, obviously taken aback by the sudden declaration. And he left before she could scoff at him.

Barreling down the halls, Edward wiped a harsh hand down his face. How was it that he could do nothing but make mistake after mistake? It was her Gods damned birthday, and she deserved everything and more. She had survived eighteen birthdays of nothing but starvation and exhaustion. And even if he wouldn't be there for her twentieth year, he was there now.

And he was going to make the most of it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Stop fidgeting," Jasper groaned, "It's as if this is your first time with a female. And we all know that to be false."

"I'm not fidgeting," Edward rumbled, "I just hope she likes everything."

Jasper looked up to the banners they had scrambled to buy from the village seamstress. The words _'Happy 19_ _th_ _Birthday, Bella,'_ were hastily stitched onto the biggest one.

"Uh, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this will be the most extravagant party she's ever received," his friend teased.

"Good," Edward said. The decorations, food, and gifts he had gotten had drained Edward of his own personal savings. However, he wouldn't need gold when he gave himself over to Victoria, so he couldn't have been happier to spend it on anything else.

"How did training go today? Did you take her to the armory?" Edward realized he was babbling, but he needed to distract himself from all the second thoughts he was having

' _Would she like the color they chose, or accept the gesture at all?'_ The questions went on and on.

"Yes, training went well," Jasper said dimly, "But things really picked up when we went outside."

Edward nearly sputtered, "You got her _outside?_ On the first day?"

"What can I say?" his friend shrugged, "She's eager to prove herself. And she's much stronger than you give her credit for, Edward."

He clenched his lips together to stop the growl from escaping. Jasper was talking about her as if they were best of friends, and he had just met her that morning.

"I'm…uh, happy for you. I'm glad she's taking such strides."

"You know, you don't have to sound like there a noose around your neck when you say it," Jasper chuckled, "She just doesn't know how to act around you. It's not that she likes me better, it's that she likes _you_ too much."

"What?" If Edward's skin wasn't dead and gray, there might have been a flush there.

But before he could press Jasper for details, Bella had entered the hall.

"There's the birthday girl!" Jasper said a bit too cheerfully. As much as a front his friend put on, he could tell the sentry was beginning to like her.

"What?" she asked as her eyes dimly registered the bounty of food. And Edward's chest swelled when they widened slightly, "What's this?"

"Your birthday celebration of course!" Jasper motioned with a sweeping hand. Edward could only watch as she took each step towards them, "We've never had one before since it's more of a human thing."

Edward swallowed nervously before asking, "Do you like it?"

Her head turned to his, and a softness had reached her eyes, "Yes, of course. It's splendid."

Edward was aware of Jasper's smugness, but the High Lord's eyes remained on hers. She deserved so much more than their hastily thrown together meal.

"We didn't have much time, since we only knew this morning after Alice told us," Jasper chided gently, "So we had to guess your shade of choice."

"Shade?" Bella asked with confusion.

"Color," Edward quickly corrected while shooting Jasper a scolding through his thoughts, "We guessed your favorite color."

He hoped it was green, for she seemed to enjoy her time in the greenhouse. And it was fitting, since they were in the Spring Court, after all.

Edward's favorite color, however, was the richness that was Bella's own eyes and hair; and even with his cursed senses, he knew the color would rival the night sky in its depthless beauty.

"Green. Yes, it is my favorite color," step after step she took towards them as Edward counted until she took a seat. "Thank you, but how did you know?"

Edward felt Jasper's eyes rest on him. "You seem to especially love the greenhouse, and since your human realm was rather dull, we hoped you would enjoy a particularly lively color," Edward said pathetically.

' _And it's the color of your eyes in your portrait,'_ his beast reminded. It was the only thing that had remained after Victoria had….changed him.

Even before the curse, after his dark skin and hair had been leached into something lighter and browner by Victoria and his father's will, his eyes were the only thing that remained of his blood court. The one thing they hadn't taken from him.

His mother's eyes had been the clearest blue like the sky, while his had been a vibrant green. His mother had said his eyes reminded her of the glowing northern lights; only visible after the sun had gone down. The same lights that could lead them back to their home court.

And he hoped when he had caught Bella staring at his portrait in his study, she liked them too.

Jasper stifled a chuckle, "What he said."

"Thank you, sincerely," Bella smiled at Jasper before they settled on Edward, "It means more than you know," she said solemnly.

"You're welcome, Bella," he could say her name over and over, and he would never tire of hearing it.

"Am I allowed to serve myself today?" her voice was different; lighter.

Jasper failed to muffle his chuckle, but Edward's mouth twitched at her teasing, "Tell me what you want, Bella, and I'll give it to you," he said. He watched her swallow, and he knew she had caught his meaning.

"Never mind," she murmured, "I'll serve myself," And even if his magic was itching to take over, he let her; only happy to grant her one, last, happy meal together.

When she was done, Edward made a cup of espresso appear in place of her dirty dishes.

"Oh no," she groaned, a rare ease resting on her face, "I can't touch another thing."

Edward's magic hummed; the familiar groaning starting to sound whenever he was near her. So much pent-up power needed to be leached from time to time or it would drive him mad, so he was happy to use some to make the drink disappear.

"Normally, we would unwrap presents right now, correct?" Jasper asked. Bella looked between him and the sentry as a blush began to appear.

"I don't know, actually. I was too young to remember birthday traditions before my family's downfall. By then, we were too poor to celebrate them."

Edward sucked in his cheeks at her words. He wished there was more time to lavish her with every luxury imaginable. But the next few days would have to do.

"Oh," Jasper was the one that answered, "Either way, both our presents will have been late. We didn't know in time to plan accordingly."

"You didn't have to get me anything." She shook her head, "Your decorations and dinner were more than enough."

Edward clenched down on his anger. She didn't think she deserved any of it, "Nonsense, they will both be in your room tomorrow."

The dress he had gotten her was spun from gold and the finest silk. Jasper had offered to pay for the jewels he had chosen to match. Edward just hoped she would like them.

"Thank you." he was shocked to hear her accept.

A silence settled over them as Jasper shot him a silent look, _'How can you leave her now?'_ his friend said in though _t, 'We can figure this out, I know it.'_

Edward just shook his head when Bella wasn't looking. What his friend didn't understand was that today was a clarification of what he needed to do. Bella had found friends and a bit of comfortability in the Spring Court. And he would not take that away from her.

"We have to leave you anyway; Jasper and I have some business to attend to." Edward looked to his sentry, but Jasper just remained firmly planted in his chair.

"Nonsense, Edward. Bella has gotten all dressed up for her birthday, and I refuse to neglect her as you have."

Edward gave Jasper a long look, _'Preparations need to be made,'_ he said in thought.

"Bella is quite capable of entertaining herself," Edward said out loud, "And we have many things to attend to." Indeed, the Spring Court would be left to Jasper, but Edward was finding it more difficult to decide who would rule his blood court.

Or perhaps he didn't want to spend time with her because he knew it would never be enough.

There would never be enough minutes with her. And with each passing moment, he could feel himself slipping from his decision to face Victoria.

Because even if Edward knew he didn't deserve any happy ending, that didn't stop him from wishing for one with Bella.

"Work, work, work." Jasper sang, suddenly cheerful, "That's all you ever drone on about. Let us have fun for once," Jasper turned to Bella, "Don't you agree? Wouldn't you say Edward works too much?" His sentry was using her to change Edward's mind about leaving.

Bella had a rare amusement in her eyes, and Edward noticed how they slightly crinkled. He allowed himself to look at her fully and realized Jasper was cleverer than he gave his friend credit for.

Damn him.

"Hmmm, I would have to agree with you, Jasper," Bella said.

Edward was so shocked Bella was teasing right along with the sentry, that he was speechless.

It seemed as if just when she was starting to come out of her shell, Edward was never going to see it fully, "I knew I would grow to regret this," he said.

It was going to be hard leaving knowing she resented him, but this side of Bella, this mischievous and carefree side, this was something different. It was a slice of her real personality breaking free, and Edward suddenly realized he would never come to see all of it; all of her.

And his stomach turned at the thought.

"Good! So what shall we do?" Jasper said as Edward gave his friend a look before shooting through his mind,

' _Just what are you trying to do, here?'_

His friend didn't answer.

"Anything other than the library and greenhouse," Bella said. "It's all I've been allowed to do for weeks!" Edward's eyes widened at her admission. And if his face could have heated, it would have. He was embarrassed at how he hadn't taken more care to see how she was spending her time.

"Edward, how could you only limit poor Bella's entertainment to the library and greenhouse? It's a good thing I returned when I did," Jasper exclaimed with a wink towards the High Lord. "Anything is sure to top the dreary greenhouse." Jasper chuckled, clearly having a plan afoot. "So what would you like to do, Bella?" Edward watched as Bella paused in thought. He wished he could stay longer, and have more days like this.

"I don't know, what else is there to do?" she asked.

His sentry looked to Edward before saying, "Hmmm, well since we already went outside today, that's out. And who would want to anyway? It's dreadfully ugly outside. It won't be worth anything until _Antearrach."_

Edward's blood went cold, and Jasper just shrugged at his silent fury. There was the plan; revealed as clear as daylight.

"Antearrach?" Bella murmured.

"Yes, it should be here in a couple of weeks," Jasper rubbed his chin and shot Edward a knowing look.

' _Feel free to jump in,'_ Jasper prodded in his mind,

' _I will not tell Bella about such barbaric traditions.'_ Edward shot right back. The last thing he wanted to do was share the more animalistic side of the Fae.

"Only then will the gardens and forest will be worth visiting." His friend said.

Bella bit her lip as her eyes lit with curiosity, "Why's that?"

Jasper was silent to try and spark Edward to join before asking through his mind, _'Has Victoria stolen your sense of fun, as well?_ '

Edward resigned with a sigh, " _Antearrach_ marks the beginning of spring," There, that was explanation enough.

"Which means," Jasper drawled, "All the faeries within the region gather together for a mighty celebration. All the High Lords gather together to fill the earth with their magic, isn't that right Edward?"

He swallowed, finding the sudden urge to knock Jasper on his ass with his mist just to shut him up. Bella did not need to know the more…specific details of how the Lords made spring possible.

His father had told him it was an honor to become the hunter and to choose a female. But all it did was remind Edward of how little the Spring Lord valued his wife; his mate…

"High Lords?" Bella's wide eyes met Edward's, and his un-beating heart melted. He wished he could keep her protected from the traditions of his species, but he knew that fire beneath her skin would never cease. Her curiosity would always win in the end.

"We perform a ritual," he explained, "Which blesses the soil and ensures a good harvest for the coming season." Edward almost cringed thinking about the ritual; what he would have to do in the name of his father's people…

' _Can we be done talking about this now?'_ he said, shooting Jasper a look.

' _That's up to Bella,'_

Edward silenced the rumbling beast at his friend's familiar tone when saying her name.

"This all happens in one night?" Bella asked, Jasper just nodded.

It was only then that Edward realized where Jasper was leading; they were going to the gaming gallery. Which was fitting of course, because his friend was currently playing a dangerous game.

Because if Bella ever wanted to research the history of Antearrach, she would be horrified of their entire race, of _him._

' _Can you shut up for once in your life? You know very well she's going to figure out the ritual,'_ Edward scolded.

' _Yes,_ ' Jasper grinned _._

"And the High Lords, how many does it take to create enough energy for the harvest?"

Christ, now she knew of the High Lords. Edward hoped Jasper would keep his explanation brief because if he revealed the truth, the knowledge would only put Bella in more danger.

The High Lords were always sought after for their magic and power over their people. And anyone close to a High Lord was always at risk.

"There are only seven High Lords. The Great Rite is performed by one, but the others participate as well," Jasper pressed his lips together and pointed his eyes at Edward,

' _She's going to find out eventually,'_ his friend warned.

"Oh," Bella responded softly, "So normal faeries like you and Edward, what do you do during _Antearrach_?"

Edward almost tripped over his feet as Jasper hid a smile. Gods she was so naïve, but at the same time, insatiable for knowledge. And he was determined to keep it that way.

"We offer up gifts in our own way," it was a miracle Jasper wasn't snickering; he even managed to make his voice sound somewhat serious.

 _Gifts_ , it was an effort for Edward not to scoff. It was no gift to be consumed by the earth's magic and be forced to take a stranger to bed. Edward was more likely looking forward to giving himself over to Victoria than putting himself on spectacle.

"What kind of gifts?" Bella's voice shook him from his thoughts.

"Nothing of importance," Edward grumbled.

"Is it that bad?" Bella looked to him, and something inside softened.

"Believe me, if you had to attend, you would feel the same way."

"You mean I can't come?" Bella's face fell, and Edward clenched his fists. And he was all too aware that his friend was waiting for his response.

Gods, he could only imagine what would happen if she came to the Great Rite. Edward had been carrying out the ceremony ever since his father couldn't, and he never remembered much. But he did remember how the magic from the earth rendered him helpless from everything else...except that one need.

So Edward knew that if he even scented Bella near him during the proceedings, he wouldn't be able to control those instincts any longer.

"It's not something for humans," he said. He watched her shoulders slump slightly as she pulled in her bottom lip. Edward ached to tell her it wasn't her species that was incapable, but his own.

He would become a barbaric monster the night of Antearrach, and he could only hope that Bella would be locked far away when he became the hunter.

But by then, they had reached the gaming rooms.

"What's this?" Bella perked right up, and he silently thanked his friend for the idea, "Why am I not allowed here?" she gave Edward a stern glare as she gazed to all the equipment. And his stomach rolled inside his gut, suddenly embarrassed that he hadn't thought of it. Usually, gaming was for males, while females fancied more orthodox things. But then again, Bella had never been orthodox.

"I feared you would get lost if allowed to venture this far into the castle," was what he came up with. Pathetic, really.

She quirked a brow, "You thought me that helpless?"

"Now I see it was foolish of me." He lowered his head, "Forgive me." Her eyes widened slightly as a quiet encased the two of them. He didn't know where Jasper had gone, but he couldn't have cared less.

' _Forgive me for leaving. Forgive me for pulling you into all of this,'_ he said with his eyes, and Bella only straightened at his intense gaze.

Jasper just scoffed, "I'll forgive you both if you stop griping and come and join me for a game."

Bella turned with a whirl as Edward barely turned his head to the paid any attention to his sentry.

"I don't know how to play," Bella stated, but she dragged a finger along the soft felt, and Edward was momentarily mesmerized by the sight.

"Don't worry, Edward can teach you." Jasper grinned.

' _That's High Lord to you,'_ Edward quipped.

"Well, _Edward_ ," Jasper made a show of stressing the word, "Aren't you going to show your guest how to play?"

He ignored how his chest flared at the image of him behind Bella and instructing her how to strike. And in that dress, no less.

He gulped, avoiding eye contact with Bella as he handed her a cue stick. She took it quickly, but the heat of her fingers almost brushed his. There was a pause as Jasper just quirked a brow, and Edward just motioned to the table,

"Well? Rack it up. I'm going to show Bella just how terrible you are at pool."

The beast inside him flared at the admittance. Competition was at the core of any mate showing himself worth, so if he wasn't careful to shackle the more animalistic side of himself, things could turn very bad...very fast.

His friend huffed, "Your break."

Edward's felt himself smirk slightly as he lined up for his first move. And he felt Bella's eyes on him when he struck the balls with a crack.

"Your call," Edward lazily rolled his shoulders as his friend mumbled out his choice.

The game droned on and on, but he was always cautious of Bella's intent eyes on him. And he was sure to return his friend's banter with careful teasing as to not strike the cue over his friends head for his pure arrogance.

' _Is this show for me, or for Bella?'_ Jasper teased through thoughts and Edward could have groaned out loud.

' _It's for me, actually,'_ Edward returned smartly, lining up to sink the eight ball, ' _You see, I haven't practiced in a while.'_ But he was unable to stop his gaze from flitting to Bella right as the ball sunk into the pocket. And his beast grinned when her eyes went a bit wide.

' _Liar,'_ his friend returned. "Care for another game?" Jasper asked aloud, _'You've yet to teach Bella how to play,'_

Edward's answering grin could only be described as animalistic. "Rack them up."

"So eager to lose?" Jasper quickly shot back.

Edward reigned in his laughter, "Oh, you'll lose Jasper, but not to me." His eyes fell to Bella.

He wasn't an idiot; he had seen the way she had observed the table with appreciative eyes; reading every one of their moves with a level of calculation that only came from someone familiar with the game. And somehow, his desire for her grew.

"Bella?" he eased when she had yet to answer, "Care to give Jasper a run for his money?"

"I won't be very good," she offered, even as her eyes went a bit glazed as she touched the table.

"Is that right?" Edward felt a brow rise in question. He watched as the realization that he knew her little secret crossed her face. And her eyes hardened with his challenge.

"How about we decide that for ourselves?" she simpered with the cock of her head. And Edward's blood started to boil in the best way.

' _We finally have a worthy playmate,'_ his beast purred. Edward swallowed the thought away.

"Never mind me," Jasper scoffed, "I want to see you two play each other." He pointed between Bella and the High Lord, and Edward could have slapped his sentry right then and there.

' _This won't end well,'_ Edward warned his sentry.

Jasper only shrugged, but his friend didn't know mating bonds like the High Lord did.

Edward had been warned by his father that if he ever found his mate, that that level of power between the two would either have to be accepted; or ignored. If not confirmed or denied, such unrelenting power would fester between the faeries until it erupted.

And Edward and Bella's connection, even if she didn't know it was there, it was not something to be toyed with.

And that was exactly what he was doing.

Bella shrugged, but the gleam in her eye told Edward she had hoped Jasper would suggest a match. "Rack it up," She ordered, her voice pure steel as it raked against Edward's resolve.

' _Look how feisty she is,'_ his beast chuckled. And even if the rational side of his brain was screaming at him to stop, his beast was raging at him to _go go go_.

And so Edward listened to his inner monster for once.

It was one thing to prove dominance over a sentry, but Edward felt something completely different playing against his mate. And all he could do was watch in rapt attention as she deftly sank shot after shot.

And even if the bond was unaccepted, and Bella was merely human; the magic between them seemed to hum in recognition, ' _There you are,'_ his beast growled as Bella smirked at him before sinking another ball, _'I've been looking for you.'_

But finally, she made a mistake by overcorrecting to a minute degree. And Edward was unable to stop his grin from spreading. But she only scowled at him; another strange ripple of power making him pause.

"Fourteen, corner pocket." Edward was cocky enough to announce his first shot. Because as soon as his muscles recognized who was watching him with critical eyes…well, he had no problem delivering.

That was until his gaze caught Bella trail a hand along her throat; and then his thumb suddenly slipped resulting in a botched shot. He clamped down on his anger for being so foolish, as well as his lust for wanting to take Bella right on the table.

He watched with a minute scowl as she sauntered up to the table and lowered her brows in concentration as his friend watched with just as much intent.

But Jasper might as well have disappeared into the walls when Bella turned to him with a hand planted on her hip and said, "Let's make this a little more interesting, shall we?"

"Already so sure of yourself?" he returned coolly. But deep inside, his body was commanding him to take her over and over, to see if the power that seemed to ripple outward was enough to satiate his own. And perhaps to discover if that wicked mouth was just as wicked when it was put to other uses.

But she just gave him a sweet smile, "It's no fun if there isn't some risk on the table."

It was an effort not to groan with pride. She was fearfully good at pushing his buttons...just the right ones to get him to do exactly as she wished; as if he was helpless putty in her capable hands.

And she knew it.

' _Take back control, now,'_ his beast ordered. _'She is your mate, and you are her High Lord,'_ but somehow, the voice no longer sounded like his demon…but his father.

"Beware," Edward said with harshness, "Of the woman who looks like a Duchess but behaves like a street gambler."

She only narrowed her eyes. And he could have sworn that his beast recoiled from her gaze. "Name your stakes," he said.

"I wish to visit my family." She said with conviction, and his blood ran cold.

She wanted to go home, just as he presumed. And even if her father and sisters treated Bella like nothing more than a meal ticket, she wanted to return to them. Bella would leave the faeries that gave her everything she could ever wish for in exchange for humans that could give a damn if she lived or died.

They didn't deserve her, not one bit.

' _And you do?'_ the demon cackled, and Edward couldn't stop the words from sinking into his very marrow.

"Is that it?" Edward asked starkly.

' _Be careful Edward,"_ Jasper said through their minds. Edward didn't answer.

"Yes. If I win, I would like to see my father and sisters," she said.

"How long?" his voice sounded dead to his own ears, and his un-beating heart seemed to sound the reminder, ' _You are dead, remember?'_

And suddenly, everything came crashing down: his decision to leave, Victoria's determination to make him her slave, as well as the overall hopelessness of their world.

For a moment, Bella had made him forget all of it, and he had become himself again. He had found his humor and his mischief.

Edward had felt alive.

But that was all leeched away in a second as soon as he realized she was here against her will.

"A month," Bella ordered as she perked her chin higher.

He blinked, "A week,"

"Two weeks."

"Ten days." He sounded like an actual master giving a servant an order.

' _You won't be a master_ _for long,'_ the demon mocked. And that great weight seemed to settle back on his shoulders.

"Fine," Bella barely ground out, and it was the stark reminder that she didn't want to be here any more than Edward wanted to give in to Victoria.

So without another word, she moved to the other side of the table. Her eyes flitted to move after move, and his chest heaved with how much she suited their world. She was clever, witty and fierce, and it was a shame that she had been fated for such a mundane human life; that she couldn't see her own worth in order to search for _more._

And then Edward felt something tug inside himself. It was the opposite of his father's voice that told him to take and take in such a selfish world; but instead, it was his mother's soft voice reminding him to _give,_ in hopes of a better one.

So before Bella could make her final move, Edward said, "Ah, ah, ah, we haven't discussed the terms if _I_ win."

Bella straightened, but gasped when she brushed his arm. But he watched her look at him with cold eyes, "What?" she bit.

Edward's own eyes darkened when her breath brushed across his skin, "You have to accompany me on a tour of the grounds," he said.

She wavered only slightly, before stating, "Done." She lined up for her shot, but not before she took great care to stretch her arms and neck before going through with it.

Cheeky.

"Whenever you're ready." Edward had no doubt she would make it, but he wouldn't lose Bella to people that only pushed her aside. Even if he had to cheat to make sure of it.

 _In hopes of a better world._ He heard his mother's voice.

"Eight ball, middle pocket," Bella's clear voice rang, and Edward took a step back.

Jasper caught his eyes then, a silent nod of his head telling the High Lord that his friend agreed.

' _Don't let her go back there, Edward.'_

So when Bella finally made her move, Edward made sure she missed. And the noise of the cue ball swiftly falling into the pocket was the only sound in the entire hall.

"Shit!" Bella shouted as her hands clenched around the stick, shocking both him and Jasper out of their skin.

Jasper hacked out his surprise, but Edward was determined to remain calm as he carried out the last two moves with perfect accuracy. But he had begun to sweat. He didn't want to betray Bella's trust, but he had to do anything to keep her safe.

"I win," Edward was unable to clamp down the remark, and Bella upturned her lips in a humanlike growl, "And who knew the Duchess had such a foul mouth?" he grinned at her.

And that ripple of power came and punched him right in the gut just as Bella's eyes flitted upwards.

"You cheated!" Bella burst as her face suddenly turned red with the realization. And Edward almost retreated a step when she actually confronted him head on.

Not good.

"Now Bella," he did his best to keep his voice even, but he was lying through his teeth, "Don't be a poor sport." He turned towards Jasper to see if he would help, but she just stomped around the sentry like he was nothing but a piece of furniture.

"Bastard!" she cried, coming closer, "Admit it."

His eyes widened as he swallowed. _'The human is more perceptive than once we thought,'_ his demon admitted with approval, _'That is what you are, after all. A bastard.'_

But even if Bella didn't know she was treading in dangerous waters in calling Edward a bastard, it was that she was calling him out, period.

He hated pulling himself back to ensure he only was perceived as the cold, aloof Lord. He hated hurting her in the process only to guarantee she didn't get too close.

Because he saw how easily it was to revert back to himself in her presence; and the High Lord of the Night Court could never be himself; not really.

"I won fair and square," Edward said quickly, "Now calm yourself, it's unbecoming of a lady to raise her voice." He thought that might get them back to where their relationship had been before. However, that was when her face turned from red to scarlet.

And Edward heard a warning in the back of his head.

Jasper was male enough to say it out loud, "Better not provoke her Edward, even I wouldn't mess with a woman like that."

But Edward couldn't stop the words from slipping out, his beast seeking to take back that control. "Why not? She's nothing more than a human throwing a tantrum."

They were low-cutting words; words that his father would say with equal distain; words that Edward wished he could rip back from the air.

Shit.

He shouldn't have said that.

"But nonetheless," he added half-heartedly, "You will join me tomorrow for a tour of the grounds."

There, that would establish set rules and expectations that he had before. But as he turned back around to avoid her heated stare, he felt her presence shift.

Edward didn't have time to prepare himself before she was hissing in his face, "I would rather die than go anywhere with you," her voice cutting to his very core. And at that moment, Edward suddenly saw that the girl he had picked up in that cottage a few months ago, was no more. She had grown into someone fearless and unafraid right under his nose; she was brave enough to face him when no one else would.

And Edward realized it wasn't so much her family that was holding Bella down, but him.

"Not on my watch," he murmured too low for her to hear, determined to find himself, and for once, start acting like the male his mother would want him to be.

But before he could react, Bella was already storming out the door.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Thank you to all the readers and reviewers :) And a special thanks to my beta SunFlowerfran!**

 **I do not own A Court of Thorns and Roses or Twilight**

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It had been two days. Two, unrelenting and anxiety-ridden days since Edward had seen Bella.

He had felt like a complete ass after she had blown up on him in the gaming rooms. No, he had felt like a bastard; exactly what she had called him.

And so to distract himself, he had thrown himself into his work; not stopping until he scrounged enough money for the Spring and Night Courts to be self-efficient for one more year.

But hopefully, before Antearrach, the deal with Victoria would have already been struck: Edward's body and mind in exchange for the safety of his land and people.

And more importantly, Bella's blood spared.

"What's on your mind, brother?" Jasper quirked a brow from across the table. He could tell the sentry had always made a point to take meals together, even if he and Edward were usually apart doing separate duties. And he knew exactly why.

Jasper was biding his time before Edward left.

"I was thinking, did Bella like the dress?" he murmured.

Even with the jewels and the note, he seriously doubted if Bella would ever come out of her rooms again.

"Yes, she liked the dress, Edward," Jasper groaned a bit, "So please, for the love of the Gods, stop worrying for once."

Edward pressed his lips together, not completely convinced that he had chosen the correct color or fashion. There was just so much occupying his mind, but he didn't want to let his concern for her slip.

Jasper's voice pulled him out from his mind, "But if you're so concerned, perhaps you should ask her yourself."

Edward scowled, "I'm pretty sure if she saw me at the door, she would only slam it in my face."

"Has it really been that long since you've dealt with a female that you don't know better than to cheat when you play a game against them?" Jasper snickered.

Edward's scowl deepened. There had been a time when he was witty and charming and could invite any female to his bed, and they would accept. But now, it seemed like all his energy was spent just making sure his people were not starving.

"I haven't forgotten how to deal with _females_ ," Edward forced out, "But humans are so different." That was the excuse he said out loud, at least. But deep inside, he was terrified to let her get too close…

"Well, I'm sure no one likes to be called…what was it that you said?" Jasper tapped his chin before he turned back to Edward, "Ah yes, you said, 'Beware of the woman who looks like a Duchess, but behaves like a street gambler.'"

Edward rubbed his face, "I know what I said."

But Jasper didn't stop there. "You also said, 'She's nothing more than a human throwing a tantrum.'"

Edward slammed a fist on the table. "Enough Jasper," his snarl would be enough to make a King tremble, but his friend didn't waver.

Damn him.

"I don't mean to torment you, Edward, even if you think so. I'm just trying to understand why you treat her this way. You push and then pull, and it leaves her Bella confused. Hell, _I'm_ confused!"

"Everything I do is for her safety. You don't think I want to allow myself to get close to her? But there needs to be a line drawn, Jasper."

His sentry did his best to look stern, "A line drawn? Really? How about, rather than just erupt on the poor girl, you tell her of the curse."

Edward rubbed his temples and stifled a groan, "I need no sermon today, please."

"Apparently you do. Look you just need—"

"I was jealous, okay?" Edward finally admitted.

But Jasper just scoffed, "Of what, that she was actually better at you than something?"

"You, I was jealous of you, idiot." He shoved the grin off his friend's face, "And try not to look so smug about it."

"And why, pray tell, is a male ever jealous of another. Anything you'd care to admit?" his friend waggled his brows and Edward tried to fight a smile.

"No," he said firmly. And Edward tried not to think of the sound of her laughter; how _Jasper_ hadmade it bubble up and become free, erupting in glorious joy, when it usually remained locked away whenever Edward was near her. "But I know it was wrong of me to have taken my anger out on her. It won't happen again."

"She has so many questions, Edward. Questions I can't answer but ones that are driving her mad all the same." His friend said solemnly.

Edward ran a hand through his hair, "It's not safe for her yet. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't."

"You two have more in common than you think. Bella has insecurities and fears; all heightened now that she knows secrets are being kept. You have to give her something, because she might just try to acquire it in other unsavory ways."

Edward shook his head, knowing first-hand how cunning Bella could be. And although Jasper was talking a little too knowingly about her than he would have liked, the High Lord knew his friend was right.

"I plan to, but finding the right way to tell her everything is…difficult," Edward growled just thinking of exposing her to all the things in his world. Would she be strong enough, or would it break her?

Jasper was about to say something else, but Edward felt a prodding in his head.

" _Yes, Alice?"_ Edward recognized the presence of the maid.

" _She's on her way."_ Alice's voice rang through his head, and Edward's fists clenched.

"Bella's coming, isn't she?" Jasper said when Edward made breakfast appear. "Aren't you supposed to wait for her to enter, so you can dazzle her with your magical skills?" Jasper teased.

"I used to," Edward smirked, not afraid to admit he—like any male—enjoyed showing off from time to time, "—until I saw how uncomfortable it made her."

Jasper just shook his head before he started to serve himself.

Edward waited for the light footsteps that would signify her approach. And he straightened his vest for the tenth time; today it was a deep blue he had seen her favor in most of her dresses. At least he hoped it was the blue one that he had picked that morning.

Then he finally heard it; her footfalls that would lead her to the dining room. And all Edward could do was send one more prayer to the Gods that she would forgive him.

Edward heard her quickening breath as she neared the doors; his ears now pricking to her thrumming heartbeat.

Jasper either didn't hear Bella's heightened responses to them or didn't care enough. But hearing every part of her body react to Edward, both made his beast purr in delight, and his anxiety run rapid.

He heard her hand clutch the knob, and the deep breath she inhaled and exhaled; perhaps willing her heartbeat to relax. That was the other thing that drove Edward absolutely delirious; was not being able to tell if her reactions were due to excitement, nervousness, or just pure terror.

But finally, Edward heard the click of the door that would finally grant him a view of her. It was something he would always look forward each day: just to look at Bella. And even if he only had weeks, her soft features and bright eyes would be something he would take to the grave.

But as she entered, Bella took great care to close the door behind her, hiding her face but revealing something else. And Edward couldn't help but groan when he saw what she wore.

Her dress.

The back of it was practically gone, the fit scooping low to grant him a view of her glorious skin all the way down to just above the curve of her—he gulped.

Gods help him. Why did she have to do this to him?

She was too enticing with all that creamy flesh adorned with dark velvet and sparkling jewels. She looked like…well; she looked like someone from the Night Court.

Jasper cast Edward a knowing look, and was the only one to greet her _good morning_ since Edward was suddenly void of all thought.

"Good morning," she answered; her voice unusually small as her eyes flickered to Edward's before quickly retreating. That's right, Edward had called her a street gambler as well as a tantrum throwing human. He deserved to be thrown into the pits of hell.

"Did you sleep well?" Edward finally found his voice then, forcing out the question he asked her every time they shared breakfast.

Bella finally looked at him then, her face darkening a shade. She was blushing, "Yes, thank you." she looked away again, and Edward missed the weight of her eyes. And he clenched his teeth against the sudden stiffness in his pants.

But Edward was pulled from his thoughts when he heard her stomach growl. He quickly looked to where her eyes settled; a plate of bacon and sausage before she looked towards the tray of strawberry crepes. Her brows drew together then, as her body slackened slightly. He could tell she was wondering which to choose, so Edward made it easier for her; delivering all three choices to the heaping plate before her.

Although she jumped in surprise to his magic, Edward couldn't help from smiling slightly when Bella didn't hesitate to dig right in.

Jasper nudged him in the side then, ' _Ask about the gift you've been pestering me about all morning.'_

Edward cleared his throat, and Bella glanced upward, "Did you like your present?" he asked.

"Yes," she swallowed, "Thank you." Bella wavered, probably wondering if she could return to her meal or not.

"You look beautiful today, Bella." Edward let his voice slip low as it did in the greenhouse.

Bella's heartbeat faltered and sent the spot just along her throat thrumming. Edward swallowed the desire to press his mouth against that very place.

"Thank you," she answered her voice now strong.

Edward's eyes couldn't help but slip to the snug silk that clung to her body. Thankfully, it had a higher neckline than the previous dress and sleeves that stopped just at her elbow, or Edward would have had a coronary.

But Bella's voice forced him from the memory, "It seems as though we match today." She inclined her head to Edward's own clothing.

Jasper was keeping strategically silent, but Edward could still see the grin the sentry wore.

"Yes," Edward breathed, "But the color looks much lovelier on you."

She gave him a small smile before a hand came up to brush a piece of stray hair from her face, either from embarrassment or nervousness.

Jasper suddenly cleared his throat, "You're going to have to excuse me." He made a show of stretching his arms, before he rose from the chair.

"You're leaving?" Bella looked slightly alarmed as her face drew together in concern. Edward stiffened.

"Yes, but we're still hunting today," Jasper pointed her way.

"Okay," Bella mumbled, before glancing down in her lap. She was no doubt ringing her hands together like she always did when she was anxious.

Edward knew her greatest fear was to go outside, and she was strong to face it. But a scar also lingered from the Oillteil. Not a visible scar on her flesh, no, Edward had made sure her flawless skin would remain that way. But it was a scar on her usually, unyielding strength.

And he was happy to know that his sentry was healing such a scar when Edward couldn't.

"Hunting you say?" Edward quirked a brow, doing his best to ease into the subject. _Let me come with you,_ he thought, _let me be a part of these last few days, at least._

"Yes, Bella has agreed to accompany me later today," Jasper said a bit too forcibly.

' _Ask to join us,'_ Jasper urged through his mind.

Edward looked away from his friend to watch Bella's every reaction. His day to day life had become so complicated lately, but he would drop all his duties to help her overcome something.

But there was a fine bead of sweat forming on her brow, and her heart rate had suddenly increased as her fingers rung together.

Bella didn't want him to come.

"Well, I hope you enjoy yourself, Bella," Edward said brightly. Perhaps if he were Lord of a different court, he would have said something else…Perhaps, if he were back home, he would have made a smart comment that would make her scoff or blush, or both. But he was not home.

Edward watched as her pupils dilated slightly, Bella's eyes suddenly intent on his mouth. He shifted slightly, unsure what would prompt such a gaze.

"Yes," she answered numbly, blinking a few times before she focused back on Jasper, "At least it's my second time going out since the—" Bella gulped, "Oillteil." She gulped, "So it won't be too bad."

Bella gave a weak smile then, but Edward knew it was for his benefit.

And his conscious came roaring back, ' _You caused her fear, you know. And those creatures? They prowl the gardens because you were idiotic enough to betray a witch.'_

One thing was for sure, Edward was beginning to look forward to handing over his consciousness to Victoria, if it meant the inner voices would shut up for once.

"See? Edward," Jasper pulled him from his thoughts, "You act as if I was forcing her against her will. Now, If anyone needs me I'll be in the library." His sentry deftly slipped out the door; effectively leaving them alone together.

' _Talk to her, for Gods' sake,'_ was the last thing Jasper said through his mind before disappearing down the hall.

Edward gulped.

It wouldn't be so hard if there weren't so much to tip toe around. And Bella seemed only keen on knowing exactly what Edward wanted to keep hidden.

By then, Bella had finished with her plate, but her eyes were resting on the platter of strawberry crepes.

Without a thought, he granted her the dessert. And in a rush, he felt the wave of exhaustion go straight to his aching head. Two days away from her had drained him more than he realized.

But that all evaporated when he saw a smiling Bella. It was so rare that she allowed happiness to reach her eyes, let alone her mouth. And he felt his heart lift.

"How do you always know what I want?" she asked with a look of disbelief, but her fork was already digging in.

Edward shrugged, "Body language, mostly. You'd be surprised what you give away with your expressions alone."

She tensed.

Edward rushed to correct himself, "I mean, it's not just you, all humans can be read like books."

She flinched when he said human, and Edward ran a hand through his hair. Why was he so Gods damned terrible at this? But when he looked back, Bella's eyes were intent on his hair.

He fought the urge to make sure a piece wasn't standing up.

"So," he cleared his throat, "What are your plans today besides hunting?"

Bella hesitated, and Edward watched her swallow; the ivory skin of her throat begging to be tasted. Actually, every inch of Bella begged to be tasted, and he knew the visage of her in that Gods-forsaken dress would be etched into his mind until the end of time.

"The library perhaps?" she shrugged, "Maybe try to find some facts on _Antearrach."_

He gulped, "I see," Edward hesitated before he remembered what Jasper had said; _Bella wanted answers._ And so his last gift to Bella would be those very answers she craved, "I could answer whatever questions you have if you like."

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth at the suggestion; the sight forcing Edward to stifle a groan.

"I do have a lot of them." Her face was already brightening.

Edward grinned, "Ask away."

He watched her mouth open then close as her eyes fluttered. He thought she was about to faint.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, "Just tell me what you would like to know first."

"Why are you so different." Her voice was unreserved, as if it had been painful to hold the question in.

Edward was unable to stop his breathy laugh, "You'll have to be more specific," he said.

"Your skin and eyes," she paused look from his face to his chest, and then back again, "You and your court are so…different from the faeries I've read about. But you seem as if you've borne the worst of it. I can't help but wonder what caused it?"

Edward felt his stomach turn, and he wondered if he would be sick. She was so, so smart; cleverer than he liked to give her credit.

Bella knew somehow, the weight that Edward bore.

"I'm like this way because of a sickness that has stricken my lands." He said, but his head echoed with what his beast spewed: ' _You're here because of your pride,' "_ My court is also affected by the…blight, of sorts." He said, but his beast roared, _'She cursed the court you hated the most and bound you here,'_ "But I'm affected the worst of all, and I don't know why." ' _You are affected the worst because you are the most deserving,'_

He fought not to crumple under the words.

"Can't it be helped?" she asked gently, "I mean, with magic and everything, isn't there a cure?"

Edward could have sworn his heart jolted, ' _Tell her, tell her.'_ The demon demanded. But he only pinched his lips together.

"No, there's no cure." His voice almost cracked as he felt his heart cave in. She wanted to help them; to help _Edward_. And all he could do was lie.

"How long?" Bella's voice was thick with an emotion he couldn't place, "How long have you been like this?"

He blinked, "Fifty years."

Edward underestimated how difficult it would be to talk about this…with her. With each word, he could feel the stipulations of the curse forcing him beneath phantom waves, as if it was Victoria's very hands pushing him under.

But beyond the witch's hold on all of them, Edward wished more than anything that he could tell Bella the truth once and for all. Because he saw how it tore at her self-esteem to see the falseness in Edward's eyes; to hear it in his words.

"I see what you're thinking," he said softly, "And you don't need to feel sorry for me, Bella." He scoffed suddenly, a wash of rare frankness overtaking him, "I am sorry for having to take you though. If you know anything, I hope it's that. Our customs and rules here, are rather… faerie."

He had taken her from a life that would have kept her safe, and he would live with that the rest of his life.

He watched her face waver slightly, "I don't blame you anymore," she said before looking down, "I used to though; actually, hated you for it." She pulled her lip between her teeth before meeting his gaze with finality, "But I don't anymore."

She didn't hate him anymore. Now that was something he would take with him through until the end.

And Victoria could tear what she wanted from him in body and spirit, but she couldn't take the small smile that Bella gave Edward when she told him that she hated him no longer.

My, how far they had come.

"What else would you like to know? I'll answer what I can," he said after clearing his throat. But the stale air of the past topics seemed to cling to them both.

"I would actually like to know about your family."

He nearly choked out loud, "That is a _very_ long story, and sadly, requires me to leave this uncomfortable chair." He hesitated before asking, "Perhaps we could continue this outside?"

Edward had a sudden idea, a way he could show Bella a sliver of himself, even if he were to be bound to the Spring Court in nothing but a lifeless demon's body.

"Are you withholding answers from me just so I'll go outside?" her signature stern-eyed stare was set on him.

"Perhaps," was all he said, but a smile was threatening to show; his chest already lightening, even if he was about to tell Bella his greatest regrets in life.

He was surprised when she followed him without another word, and his heart melted to know she trusted him at least that much.

"Where are we going?" she asked when they neared the end of the hall.

"You'll see." Edward would sneak out of this very passageway when Victoria and his father thought they had barred them all. And the kid he was, hadn't put two and two together when he thought of stealing away his mother through that very door. He had only sought to feel a slip of home by swimming among the stars.

And so he gave the door a hard shove, and he watched as Bella blinked at the bright sunlight.

The warmth did nothing to touch his own skin, but he saw how it illuminated her hair and eyes. The sun seemed to affect her even more than the High Lord of the Summer; making her skin almost glow.

And even in black and white, it was a beautiful sight. But she had yet to move.

He looked back to see her feet planted into the ground, "I promise you, Bella," he said, "It's safe." He held out his hand; a risky move since he wasn't sure if she would accept the gesture at all.

But she did.

"Did you warm your hands?" she said as soon her fingers slid into his, and Edward could have sworn a spark shot straight to his heart.

"I've been rubbing them against my legs the whole time we've been out here, haven't you noticed?" he joked with a grin, and she actually laughed. It was a bright sparkling sound, and he couldn't help but grin wider.

But Edward didn't tell her that he hadn't warmed them at all, but she had by her mere touch.

"If that's all it takes to make you laugh, I'll have to do it more often," he said seriously.

Bella blinked at him, as if she hadn't heard him correctly. Then she let out a snort that sent her into a fit of giggles.

And Edward just watched.

He sought to categorize how she looked into his brain; how her lips spread, the small crinkles along her eyes that told him the laughter came from the gut. And the sound…Gods, the sound was more beautiful that any music Edward had heard.

"I'm sorry," she gasped as soon as she caught her breath, "But it's just so funny to see you take so much effort just to have warm hands."

"I know how much it irks you, so I try to combat it when I can," He played along, not quite knowing how she seemed able to bring him to life.

"What makes you think it irks me?" she looked up at him, and it took a moment to realize she was serious.

He shrugged, remembering all the times she seemed to avoid him; all the times she blushed from his gaze alone, "You used to shiver anytime I neared, so I put two and two together."

She turned from him then, her eyes looking to the trees and foliage as they passed, but not focusing on them at the same time. Something had bothered her, and Edward wished he could see into her mind, just once. Perhaps to read her thoughts as they came, but more importantly, to see with his own eyes how Bella saw them; saw _him_.

"So, you succeeded in getting me out of the castle," she said suddenly, "And now I want to hear about your family."

He smiled at her persistence, "You're right, fair's fair." _Here it goes,_ he thought, _your messy past is finally being drudged up._ He could only hope Bella didn't withdraw when he told her what that entailed.

But Bella's eyes had only turned brighter. And Edward tried not to chuckle at that insatiable curiosity, "Believe it or not, I was one of three brothers." Edward tried to keep his voice light, but he couldn't help the coldness that slipped into his voice by the mentioning of his half-siblings. They had been almost as cruel as their father.

"I was the youngest, and then Masen, then Anthony the oldest. And of course our two parents, the once High Lord, and Lady of Dathail." It was an effort not to choke on their titles. He couldn't even bring himself to say their names…

"My oldest brothers both sought to be the Lord of Dathail, since, with faeries, only the strongest with magic can assume the title."

"Did you not wish to be Lord?" she asked.

He let a scoff slip past, "Gods no. I was content to just be a part of my father's war band and serve him that way. Fae Lords had to know not only how to handle themselves elegantly within their court, but with other providences as well. I knew I wasn't fit for that life."

' _You weren't fit because you were not your father's son.'_ His demon ever-so-kindly reminded him. It would have been easier to talk to Bella about the bloodbath that was the five-hundred-year war instead of telling her the mess that was the Spring Court.

"Unfortunately, my father was a harsh male," Edward sighed, putting it lightly, "And he hadn't minded seeing his two oldest sons grow to hate each other just over a title. My mother was a little more hesitant, but she knew the traditions, and she couldn't stop it from happening even if she tried."

His brothers had nearly killed themselves over the title of High Lord, and his father did nothing to stop it. And his mother was helpless against her mate's order. So all she could do was watch her sons scheme and plan against one another.

"But even as I did my best to stay far away from court, only traveling with my father's armies, there was no mistaking how strong I was becoming." He remembered that day when he came back to see his father's face harden. He had known what Edward had become. Perhaps that was when his father tried to convince himself that Edward was his son and hired Victoria to make sure of it.

"Every time I came home, my brothers could see it, could _smell_ it on me, how the magic was...flourishing in my veins." ' _How you weren't a son of the Spring Court,'_

"But when the five-hundred-year war came, the people rebelled." He clenched against the word usage, and he saw how she winced.

"But I thought you said you were a child during the war?" Bella clarified.

"Even though I was over fifty years-old, to my kind I was a teenager."

"What happened then," Bella stared up at him, "With your brothers and parents?"

"They didn't survive the war," his voice was void of emotion, but he couldn't bring himself to mourn the death of three males that only catered to pain and death.

What he didn't choose to tell Bella was that his mother had died long before any battle had begun.

"So, I ended up Lord of Dathail after all. What I had been avoiding all along ended up being thrust upon me anyway," He shook his head with a sharp breath, "And let me tell you, it was a tough transition at first. Not a lot of faeries want someone…like me, as their new Lord. And because of that, most of my father's court left to go to other providences."

Bella's eyes widened, "That's terrible."

"I didn't mind," he said truthfully. "I was never good at what it took to survive in their world. So it was better that way." He hadn't talked of his family in a while, and it left his muscles feeling strained.

"Do you miss your family?" her voice was hesitant.

"I miss my mother," Edward's voice had gone thick, "But not my father or brothers. I know it sounds horrible, but my father had kept…slaves, and my brothers we just as cruel. And I will never forgive them for it."

He glanced to see Bella sucking in her cheeks as if she didn't know how to respond to the information. And Edward knew he had been right to keep the…finer details of his life to himself. How could he tell her that his father had sold his own son as a glorified slave?

' _I still own you, Edward.'_ Victoria cooed into his ear, _'Or don't you remember?'_

But he was forced from the memory when they came to an upturned log. Without thinking, Edward offered his hand to Bella.

And she took it.

Her skin seemed to sear into his, jumpstarting the dead nerves there. But she was already withdrawing her grasp before it threatened to jolt his heart right from his chest.

"So," she said, "How far does the sickness spread?"

Edward gave a heavy sigh as he took in the land before them, "The blight only spreads as far as the region, but it's slowly seeping outward. That's why more and more of the forest is dying. The lands used to stay green all year long, but only a few days before _Antearrach_ andit is still barren when it should be flourishing."

He felt sick to have to pretend the Spring Court was his, to claim a place he hated all his life. But Edward knew it was a secret that had to be kept, because he was no longer the High Lord of Night. And after he handed himself over, all his secrets would die with him.

"Is there no way to stop it?" she asked.

His gaze turned to Bella, and Edward tried to imagine Bella feeling anything toward him. What would it feel like to have those soften on his with something more than wariness?

"Not unless a miracle happens," he answered.

And before either of them could say anything else, they had reached what Edward had hoped to share with her.

"What is this place?" she breathed as her eyes went impossibly bright.

"This is the only place that has stayed immune to the blight, because of that," he titled his head towards the silver pond. Edward didn't know how it had been able to remain as sparkling as ever, but it was the only sign of life in the entire forest. He supposed it was the power of the heavens that kept the surrounding earth lush and green, and he hoped Bella would come to visit it even after he was gone.

"What is it?" she asked, and he watched her dip low with her arm outstretched, but her hand did not touch the liquid.

"It's Starlight," he said, and she spun with doubt in her eyes, "It's the only thing keeping this alive when everything is subject to die because of the curse."

He allowed his body to stretch out and relax, but that was easier said than done. And as Edward beheld her stiff frame, the same went for Bella, "Nothing is going to happen, Bella," he said, "I promise you're safe."

Funny how he kept promising she was safe, when in fact, she was quite the opposite. Their land gave a human nothing but risks and danger. And although Edward would give his very soul to protect her from any harm, it tortured him knowing there was no guarantee when it came to Bella.

And even if he liked to think Jasper would protect her with the same determination as Edward, no thought silenced the ebbing doubt in the back of his mind…

"Edward?" Bella asked quietly, the sound of his name on her lips rivaling the sun in warmth, "That night I overheard you and Jasper talking. You spoke of a female, and I couldn't help—I couldn't help but wonder..." He snapped his gaze to hers, "—If you were talking about your mate?" she asked warily, and all his thoughts went silent.

A roaring replaced the silence, a pulsating rhythm starting deep in his core before spreading outward. His magic was calling to her; the mere mentioning of the bond bringing it to light.

But she just sat waiting; not knowing the internal war Edward fought every moment in her presence.

"Don't be mad," she said, "I just, read about faeries having mates and Jasper wanted to meet her…" Edward could only watch frozen as she stood with a start. She angled her face away so he couldn't read her properly, but he was too busy processing the fact that Bella thought he could possibly care for another…"So I put two and two together and I th—think I would like to meet her, too," her voice was unbelievable soft, and Edward felt utterly empty.

Because he was angry.

Angry at the entire universe for stripping Bella from being able to know the truth.

She could never know that Edward's mate was not some random female, but _her_ , or how he cared for Bella deeper than he could even fathom himself.

And all of that, all of the possibilities, the adventures, the love they might have shared together, it had been snuffed out before ever taking flame.

And it broke him knowing all of that.

"There is no other female, Bella." Edward murmured, "I don't know exactly what you heard, but we were speaking of a past…acquaintance of mine." It was a lie and the truth at the same time. But should he have told her that they were destined together when he was only going to give himself over? Should he have said the words his soul was aching to speak if it only robbed her of that little bit of freedom she had over her heart?

"Besides," he cleared his throat, "I believe it's time for some tea." He motioned towards the castle, "Jasper will no doubt be taking lunch on the patio if you care to join?"

"No thank you," Bella answered stiffly with a certain coldness in her eyes.

He knew he had gone too far so there would be no more heavy topics between them for a while. It did no good, anyhow, since he could only speak in riddles. Victoria had designed it that way; had designed Edward's suffering in a way that only she could.

Victoria had sent that Oillteil to tell Edward so he would finally take Bella. And only after he had tasted a few days of happiness, and what his life could have been without his mistakes, Victoria would pull it all out from under him.

"Very well. "Enjoy the rest of your day." He said with forced lightness, as she lowered her head in frustration. Countless times Edward had promised her answers, only to slam more doors in her face.

Oh, how he wished he had been given a different life.

' _Then you would have never met her,'_ his demon echoed. _If Victoria had taken your life that day, you would have never met your mate.'_ And for a second time since he had met Bella, his demon was right.

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 **A/N Tell me what you think :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Thank you to all the readers and reviewers, and a special thanks to my Beta SunFlowerfran! Hope everyone enjoys, and please don't be afraid to tell me what you think :)**

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Edward spent the rest of the day going through Antearrach preparations, the whole time pretending that he wouldn't have to become someone else and take another to his bed…

He groaned out loud, the parchment that was being sent to Emmett and Rosalie turning into a scribbling mess. And then a single, unrelenting image flashed before him.

' _Hush, dearest,'_ Victoria's breath washed over his neck, and all he could do was lie there; chained to the bed. But he still clenched his teeth when her fingers ran over his skin, _'Did you think you were going to join the celebrations without me?'_

He stifled a groan when she dug her nail into his pectoral, _'You're mine, remember. And if I can't have you, then no one else will….'_

He shot out of his chair with a gasp, his hands frantically trying to rid himself of the feeling of her claws.

Edward had fallen asleep at his desk, but the vision had been anything but a dream.

But without another thought, he was out of his chambers and flying out of the room. He needed counsel, but Jasper was busy with his own preparations. And so he went to the only place he could think of.

The greenhouse.

Somehow, Edward had been so in his head, he hadn't realized he wasn't the only one in the sea of plants. And he stopped as soon as he saw her.

"Bella," He breathed when she sat with a start.

Her eyes drifted lower before she found his eyes again, "Edward," she said before standing quickly, the movement almost knocking her over.

"No please," he almost steadied her with his own hand but corrected himself just in time. "Don't let me disturb you, I was only…" _you were only trying to plea to the Gods for a sign not to give yourself to Victoria,_ "—wandering," he finished.

"I was just leaving anyway." She said, but her voice was too hushed for it to be perceived as normal embarrassment.

Something was off.

"Sometimes I come here to think myself," he offered suddenly, "You know, my father planted these for my mother as a wedding present." He didn't know why he told her that, for now, the place would forever remain that way; dirty from his father's memory.

But she only listened intently.

"Even though my father hated gardens, he planted them himself, for her." He couldn't seem to stop talking. But he liked to think Bella would like to have a garden in her name. Perhaps he would commission one for her.

"Were they mates?" she asked.

There was that word again.

"They were, actually," he said softly, avoiding her gaze to pluck a rose from its bush. But he released it a moment later, "It's so rare for Lords to marry their mate, but they did."

"High Lords, you mean," she corrected. And he turned to see her eyes narrow. He wasn't at all surprised she had figured it out. Perhaps if the curse allowed them to share information, Bella would be able to solve it and save them all in mere seconds. But no matter how much Edward wished to tell her everything, the words always remained stuck in his throat.

"So now you know," he was unable to stop the hardness from seeping into his voice. It was a fact that he wished didn't matter. But ilk like Victoria were attracted to power and wealth, and would do anything to obtain someone like Bella, "Did Jasper tell you?"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" she asked, and his heart cracked knowing she thought it was because he didn't trust her.

"Because, I was afraid of what you would think of me," he admitted, but she only tensed with whatever was boiling inside; the connection between them had gone cold; distant….

"I can see it even now," he said softly. And perhaps it was the nightmare he had that made him storm here, or the fact that he wouldn't be himself come tomorrow, he asked anyways, "Tell me, Bella, what is it about me that unsettles you so much?"

' _She senses you for who you are, that's what,'_ the demon chuckled, knowing all too well that was Edward deepest fear. But he wanted to hear it from her own lips.

Bella blinked once, "What makes you think you unsettle me?"

"Because every time you so much as see me, you become tense," he continued. "I once thought it was because of what I was, before you knew I was High Fae, but I see how close you are to Alice, and even now to Jasper," he swallowed, "So that leads me to believe it's just me. I wouldn't mind it if— _if I could tell you that we're mates._

And more than the claiming that came with admitting such a fact, it was something else that Edward had ached for his whole life.

Acceptance.

But he said instead, "—if _Gods_ , if you just didn't look at me like that," he rushed out in one breath. And he didn't know if it was because he was about to leave them all, or just the nightmare that forced him to spill his most kept thought, but he needed to know once and for all: how even the woman the Gods _fated_ for him could only look at him with fear.

But Bella's eyes did nothing but harden, "Look at you like what?"

"You look at me like you're waiting for me to become a monster; no different than the ones that attacked you in that damned forest!" his chest heaved with the admission, and a part of himself broke. How would she be able to see him as anything but a monster?

He wasn't like his ancestors before him, and eventually, everyone saw Edward only for what lie beneath the surface.

And another of his fears rose to the surface: that perhaps he and Victoria deserved each other.

"I don't think that," Bella murmured.

"Please Bella," Edward ran a hand down his face, "I may not be able to smell your emotions, but my Fae senses can still pick up the other cues. Yet even when I can hear your very heartbeat quicken, smell the blood thrumming through your veins—" he cut himself off, not able to stop the words as they barreled out of him "—even then, you still remain an enigma. Are all humans so confusing?"

"I'm confusing?" she bristled with the ball of her fists, and he paused. "When the very faerie that took me from my home is the same male who rescued me from my own escape attempt?" Her voice kept rising, and all Edward could do was stare at her, "The same faerie who not only gave me a suite as grand as his, but only continues to give me gifts I don't deserve? Believe me, you're not exactly the easiest to figure out either, Edward."

He swallowed when she said his name, as a pit of nausea settled in his gut.

"I'm not tense because of anything you did, or even anything you might do," she said lower, "True, I used to loath you for keeping me here. But the longer I stay, the more you remind me of everything I left behind, and the more I begin to loathe _myself_ because of it _._ "

Edward felt the pain in her voice, and he wished he could comfort her. But the truth was, he knew exactly how she felt; knew the self-doubt and helplessness she was feeling. And he didn't know how to tell her that it never went away; perhaps never would. 

"Because," she continued, "I can't ever hope to deserve the gifts you give me, let alone my life here. The richness of an existence where I am free to do what I want, have friends who care for me, received clothes and food that surpass anything I've ever—" the words finally caught in her throat, and he felt bile start to rise in his own.

"Deserve?" he growled. Edward hadn't realized how much hatred had festered inside her, and someone as good as Bella couldn't hope to survive under its weight. He needed to relieve it.

His hands begged to touch her, to comfort and soothe, but he kept them to himself.

"Believe me, Bella," he murmured, "You deserve everything you've received, and much more."

"Do I?" She all but whispered, "Tell me, how am I supposed to live in such luxury when my family is left in near poverty? How can I parade around in a castle, reading, eating and lounging in comfort while they are left alone?"

Edward had no idea she was dealing with such guilt. And his chest tightened knowing they were feeling the exact thing. Broken and undeserving. And here he was, completely out of touch with his own mate, but she was dealing with the exact same pain.

Even in sadness, it seemed as if he and Bella were damned to be connected. For even if he couldn't feel that physical tether, he recognized that look in her eyes. She was miserable, just like him.

"How can I even think of being happy while I abandoned them?" she continued, "But then there's the terrible, dark part of me that's relieved. I don't know why I'm ashamed when I feel a part of myself breaking free; when I feel myself living, for, perhaps, the first time in my life."

 _Breaking free._

He knew he had gone frightfully silent, but it was as if Bella was reading the very thoughts from his mind.

' _She aches just as you do,'_ his heart broke to know it. Edward wished nothing of what he was feeling on his worst enemy, and it seemed Bella was carrying much more than he, on such a frail pair of shoulders, no less. And he was helpless to stop it.

"All those years, what I did for them. Feeding them and clothing them and they didn't stop you from taking me." Her voice had gone thick, and Edward was thankful that she allowed it to spill out of her; all onto him. He would take everything she could give him.

"But my self-pity must be absurd in your eyes. From all the wars, pain, and suffering you've seen and endured, I must seem selfish," she sniffed suddenly, turning from him with embarrassment in her eyes.

But before he could stop himself, he was stepping forward. And as she turned to him, he realized that her eyes had gone shiny.

"Your pain is valid, Bella," Edward eased, wishing that someone would have told him the same thing when he was younger, instead of telling him to push those emotion deep inside. Perhaps things would have turned out better if they did…

"And believe it or not, what grieves you, also grieves me," he said honestly, referring to one of the first times he was able to feel her anger; her guilt. Edward remembered how strong it had been, and perhaps he could take just a bit of it from her before he left.

"Why?" she looked back to the rose in her hand, the sharp thorn drawing blood and filling his nostrils with the scent of her.

The phantom words he wished to speak caught in his throat; that she was his mate, so every problem she had ever had in her life, he wanted them to be his, to deal with them together.

But he only took her hands then, and he was shocked when she did not withdraw.

Her skin was unbelievably smooth as he slowly brought her knuckles to his lips; the flesh burned against his mouth. And when he tasted a bit of her blood as he healed the small cut, it drove his beast into overdrive.

He was a bit dazed as he let go of her hand, but his mind thrummed to know what it would have been like to kiss her lips…

Bella just blinked as she glanced down to find the cut on her hand had vanished, he bent to retrieved the rose she had picked; deftly discarding the sharp thorns before saying,

"Don't feel bad for a moment, about doing what brings you joy." He said solemnly, hoping to give her that small encouragement if he could do nothing else: to be happy.

She swallowed after his words, letting him take that final step between them. The heat from her body seemed to ebb off her in waves, calling to Edward in a way that made it near impossible not to kiss her. But he just tucked the rose behind her ear, her soft hair whispering against his cold fingers.

"Why—why do you care?" she choked. And Edward saw truly how skeptical she had grown of him. How his distance and coldness had made his mate wary of his every move.

And he had only himself to blame.

But even then, as the words barreled through his mind: that he cared for Bella more deeply than anything in his millennia, or that he wanted happiness for her more than his own life…

Edward couldn't tell her the truth, only doomed to keep up that Spring Court façade Victoria and his father had ingrained into his mind: to always be firm but distant, careful but concerning. And he had _allowed_ it to seep into his mind; had let himself become his father's puppet, even beyond the grave. Perhaps he had given in the moment the curse had rid him of his eyes; the last part he had of his mother.

"Because your human joy fascinates me," was all he said, "The way to experience things so fully, and intensely at the same time. You appreciate life in a way that my kind forgets to. And I'm drawn to it, even if I know I shouldn't be."

Weak, pathetic words compared to the ones that were thundering in his heart. But they would have to stay there until the end of time. For what good would they be if he was only going to leave. And that last thing Edward wished was to bind her with an empty promise like he had once been.

But as he brought her knuckles to his lips, he saw nothing but endless questions in those dark eyes. So Edward gave her a pathetic promise, even though he knew he could never keep it.

"I know that I'm distant, gruff, and sometimes harsh," he said, "But one day I will answer all your questions. You will have all the responses you desire, but only until the time is right. Until it is safe." But she would never be safe.

And as her dark eyes flickered, a part of Bella knew that too. But he only forced his hand to drop hers, and as soon as that heat left his skin…

Edward had never felt less alive.

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 **A/N Short chapter, I know, but the next one is going to be a fun one ;) Tell me what you think!**


	12. Chapter 12

The next day was somehow filled with even more anticipation as responsibilities piled on top of one another. Sometimes it felt as though Edward's days were fraught with nothing but anxiety as the stress about the festival and Victoria melded into one.

But Edward was more anxious about a certain human.

And by the curious glance from Jasper, he sensed the same. "Why the tense shoulders today?" his friend asked. "Well, more tense than usual, I should say." Jasper quickly corrected.

Indeed, Edward didn't think the day would come when his shoulders weren't slouched with years upon years of regret and stress. The only time he found his spirit lifted was when he was with _her._

Edward raised his eyes for a moment from the tenth page of the parchment he was working on. It was the contract he and Victoria would sign. Basically, it stated that he would be her slave; body, and mind, for an eternity, if she granted his lands and people free forever more.

And all of it, without paying with Bella's life.

In layman's terms of course, since he had to painstakingly check every word he wrote to make sure that there were no loopholes for her to find.

"The contract must be perfect," was all he said, lowering his head once more and ignoring Jasper's scoff.

"Are you sure it's just the contract that's weighing on you?"

Edward sucked in his cheeks. He knew what his friend was trying to get at; how Edward's soul was caving in on itself just thinking of leaving her, but he knew it had to be done.

"It must be done." Edward said, "And don't try to talk me out of it, I'm not changing my mind."

"Gods know how stubborn you are." Jasper scoffed, "But just think for a moment."

"Think of what? Of how I could break the curse if only I let her in? You didn't hear what the Drake said! He said her blood would have to be _spilled,_ Jasper. I will not sacrifice my mate."

Jasper clenched his teeth, "Give us more time. We can work around that."

"Victoria made it so there is no way to break it without bloodshed and pain. This is the only way."

He thought his friend was going to say something else, but he just sat back in his chair, "Perhaps you should go shooting for a while," Jasper offered with a shrug, "Take your mind off of things."

Edward shook his head, "There's too much to do. I need to make sure our farmers are still supplying the feast for Antearrach. And also confirm that all the High Lords can make it over the border due to the curse…"

"All the High Lords, you say?" Jasper gave a suggestive grin.

Edward ground his teeth together. There was a beat of silence as his friend sought to enter his mind, but the High Lord shut out his friend. He did not need his incessant teasing, not today.

"Perhaps I will go shooting. Or better yet, I think I'll hunt," Edward announced a bit too loudly. But by the quirk of his friend's brow, Jasper knew the earlier comment had gotten to him.

 _All the High Lords._

No, Jasper was right. Not all the High Lords would be at Antearrach, for the seventh had been snuffed out of Edward the moment his father and Victoria laid their spells. Nothing but the carefully crafted Spring Lord of Light remained. And that's how it would stay, even after Edward faded off into the next world.

He dressed in a hurry, eager to let his mind be consumed by the blankness that only hunting could give him. Not thinking of the light shirt that brushed against his skin or the sturdy baldric that he hadn't used since the five-hundred-year war. But for the first time in years, Edward was dressed not like a simpering Lord, but a firm warrior.

' _Feel free to join me,'_ he shot to Jasper just as he descended the steps, _'Your shot is probably getting sloppy.'_

' _No thanks,'_ Jasper answered, _"I'll be too busy making sure Antearrach goes smoothly since you can't be bothered to,'_ his friend teased though his mind. And Edward was happy for the lightness in his tone.

But that was when Edward felt her eyes.

Somehow, he had been so in his head, he hadn't realized that Bella was in the foyer as well, and it was an effort not to shudder under her gaze.

Her eyes followed him the entire way down the stairs, and he shifted beneath the leather baldric he wore. Edward hadn't wanted to show this side of himself to her. The rough-hewn warrior was the last sliver of himself that he still had, and it was intimate, too intimate actually, for they would never claim the bond. He might as well have shown her his beast's wings.

Edward had intended on hunting the last of the Oillteil that infested the south woods, but with one upward glance, his plans evaporated.

Because Bella was looking at him in a way he hadn't seen before; as if she saw something she liked, instead of something to be despised.

"Going hunting?" she asked, as her eyes seemed to absorb the very weapons he bore. He tried not to broaden his shoulders; Bella's eyes were intent on him, and his beast preened at the thought.

"Just got back actually," he lied; anything to keep her with him.

"I see, and did you…kill anything?" she asked a bit tensely as her eyes drifted to his height when he stopped before her. Edward noted the shiver that echoed across her skin, and he reined in his own. It was past difficult to restrain his instincts around Bela, and with the Spring Festival approaching, it was only going to get worse.

When he would become the hunter, he would have to make sure she was locked far, far away. Because if he found her when he was nothing but a vessel consumed by magic, it would only spell tragedy.

"It was just a stag today." Another lie to ease the tension that seemed to live between her eyes. But even if he told her the truth, that he had killed every last creature that shared blood with the same monsters that taunted her that night, she would be repulsed. So all he said was, "Jasper had to make sure I wasn't too rusty for... Antearrach." He forced a light smile, but even saying the word aloud made bile rise in his throat.

"No, we wouldn't want you having to resort to cheating." She quirked a brow and Edward wondered if he had heard her correctly.

"Yes, well. I guess I deserved that," he resigned with a smile, "Perhaps I can make it up to you?" A pathetic hope to spend every minute he could with her. And he wouldn't think of where he would be in a few days' time, he only allowed his mind to stay with _her_ at that moment.

Bella bit her lip, and it was an effort not to groan out loud. Did she not know how enticing she was? How hard she was making it for him?

"What did you have in mind?" she asked.

Edward feigned nonchalance, but his blood was boiling from her answer, "Jasper has been boasting about your archery skills, and I would very much like to see them for myself."

True. But he would just be happy if she went outside. He couldn't live an eternity away knowing he had done nothing but cage her in like a bird.

Bella's eyes just widened, "Really? Yes, I would like that, actually."

He broke into a breathtaking smile, "Yes? Well, are you free now?" he didn't recognize his own voice. It had become lighter…happier.

"I'm all yours," she gave him a tentative smile. And if she only knew what those three words did to his heart. Gods, his body had somehow frozen and heated at the same time.

But when she made a move down the hall instead of outside, he grasped her wrist without thinking, and it effectively stopped both of them in their tracks.

Edward hadn't known what he had done until both of them were glancing where his fingers wrapped around her wrist, the pulse point on her skin thrumming beneath his thumb. And then an image flashed through his mind.

Bella on her back as her head thrashed against her pillow; her usually soft hands tense as they clutched silken sheets. The vision lowered to a head of bronze hair; seated between her legs as she let out a soft moan.

His eyes widened as Edward realized he was not seeing his own thoughts…but Bella's. Edward swallowed his sudden arousal, but it still pooled to his groin as his head went light.

And his beast roared.

Edward let go of her hand like he had touched hot iron. "Sorry," he quickly clasped his hand behind his back. He suddenly felt…dirty, not for the erotic vision he had seen, no, for that sent more arousal straight down. He felt vile because, even if it was unwittingly, Edward had invaded her most private thoughts. And she had no idea.

"I just thought we could go to the target range…" he didn't know how he was even stringing two words together because one thought was blaring in his mind: Bella _wanted_ him.

She had imagined Edward giving her the most intimate pleasure, and the image of her face as he brought her to the brink with his lips and mouth…Gods, he could feel his self-control go taught and threaten to snap…"Outside," he finished blandly.

' _But remember, what_ _color your hair was?'_ his beast warned, effectively erasing the image of him seating between her creamy thighs, only to replace it with realization, _'Bronze, not black.'_ The beast answered for him _, 'She lusts after the puppet they made you, Lord of Night, not the_ real _thing.'_

"Of course," Bella answered.

And his heart suddenly hardened. Even if he would gladly give any facet of himself to Bella, it hurt to know she only lusted for the mirage, not the reality.

' _But she doesn't know better; she doesn't know the reality,'_ The demon changed its tone _, 'She doesn't know the pre-cursed Edward was still_ _cursed inside a different skin._ _Tell your mate why there are only six High Lords,_ ' it challenged.

But Edward snapped the beast's voice back into place as he led Bella outside without another word. It would only spell her danger if Bella knew who he was; _what_ he was.

She only cleared her throat before he took the final step down that would put her on his level. He was nearly a head taller than her now, his eyes retreating anywhere but to her as they made their way outside.

Bella seemed content to remain silent as they reached the shooting field; the grass fighting to stay green from the gardener's care. But tomorrow, Edward realized, all of that would be obsolete when he granted the earth another chance to flourish. But only after he handed over his mind and body...

"Will Jasper be joining us?" Bella asked lightly, and something in Edward rumbled. She would rather be with Jasper.

' _Get used to it,'_ the beast warned, ' _You're the one that's leaving her, after all.'_

"No," he answered, trying to make his beast's voice disappear. For some reason, the voice was overly active today, "He is attending to some business on my behalf."

They made their way to the side of the range, away from the castle, but still not approaching the further gardens. Edward didn't want to be interrupted by servants or monsters alike.

"So, Jasper claims he has taught you well." Edward ran his hands over the table of bows he had made appear. Different sizes and styles splayed before her as Bella stopped by his side. His very bones seemed to vibrate in her presence, and his power flourished by her nearness.

Edward swallowed.

"I, of course, will decide that for myself," he teased. But Bella only shot him a playful scowl before wordlessly picking a wooden bow. "Quite the selection," he smiled. It was longer than he would have expected her to choose, but its beautiful sloping shape and intricately carved designs suited her justly.

"You think you can shoot far enough with that?" He nodded his head, and she just gave him a simpering smile.

"I think I can manage," she answered proudly.

He couldn't stop his brow from quirking. She was a spitfire when put under a challenge, and his heart sang when she pulled back with pure strength and eyed him for his critiques.

"Jasper was right about one thing. Your form is impeccable," he noted honestly, his eyes roving to the way her arms held even through the stress of her silk dress; her shoulders shimmering slightly, but holding fast. His mate was strong; a force to be reckoned with.

Edward's heart expanded.

"So I can't help but wonder why you're scared to go hunting. I mean, you obviously have the skill to hold your own. So why keep avoiding it?" he asked, just as he felt a thick power start to settle around them. It might have been her anger, or her determination he was sensing, or both. She seemed at her best when she wasn't coddled or protected, and he wished he would have realized it sooner. He would have treated her differently, allowed her to heal, yes, but never in a way that made her feel weak. Because Bella was anything but.

"How do you know I'm trying to avoid it?" Bella grumbled, but let the arrow loose, and Edward wasn't shocked to see it hit the bullseye.

"Intuition," he answered.

She grabbed another arrow, "Yeah, intuition is right. In other words, you used your heightened senses and decided to jump to conclusions," she said. And Bella would have been right in any other circumstance, if she hadn't been avoiding his eyes. Edward knew _he_ was right.

"Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll shut up," he said.

"How about we do what we came out here to do, hmm?" she gave him a long look, and he had to give her credit for trying to side step the topic. She was also becoming ever increasingly braver around him, but he would still respect her boundaries.

"All right," he resigned, "Fire again, but this time don't hold your front arm so rigid."

She did as she was told, but her face held a certain tension. It seemed as though Bella didn't like criticism. Edward hid a smile.

"Impressive," he murmured, "But far from perfect." A muscle flickered in her jaw, and she suddenly dropped the bow.

"And I suppose you are?" she said with an upturned brow.

Edward blinked.

She was challenging him, and it made Edward's nostrils flare in excitement.

He had once scoffed at the Gods for giving him a human mate. But he realized then and there she was just as powerful as him in will and strength. Perhaps more.

So in two breaths, he had grabbed a bow, notched it, and shot straight and true to the farthest target.

He gave her a satisfied smile after he heard the loud thud, and much to her own chagrin, Bella was shamelessly gaping. And he didn't care that he was being an insufferable show-off. He wanted to impress her.

"Well," Bella declared after gathering herself, "That's easy for a High Lord, but you have to remember that I'm human."

"That's just an excuse. There is always room for improvement," he knew a bit too much of his General was escaping: years of war and combat made it hard to keep hidden. But he would give her every tip and trick he knew to protect herself.

And he enjoyed being with her like this. He felt closer to his real self than he had been in a while.

He took a hesitant step towards her with his hand outstretched. And when she didn't withdraw, he said, "Here, take your stance, and draw back as far as you can."

She did with one fluid motion, but he saw how her right arm strained a bit. It was something small and unnoticeable, but he knew how far he could push her.

She could do more.

"Good, now I'm going to adjust some things," he murmured, daring to step closer until his body was almost right behind hers. He gently grasped her shoulder and pushed it lower, and he heard her exhale.

His gaze retreated from her arms and saw how beads of sweat were starting to form on her brow, and the column of her neck. And without a thought, Edward was willing the breeze to wash over them. And as it fluttered her hair, Bella groaned.

It was a small sound, but Edward was dangerously too close to her, and the noise that escaped the back of her throat made his body tense.

But she had suddenly gone frozen.

"Bella?" he eased, as she finally glanced up at him, "Are you okay?"

She was almost as rigid as he was, he could feel it in her shoulder. But he was unable to remove his hand.

Was it possible she was just as dazed as him?

"Yes, I'm just a little hot," she shook her head, and Edward's eyes just scanned over her body, gulping as his eyes rested on her neck. He increased the breeze, but he wondered how it would feel to run his mouth where her neck met her collarbones; how her skin would taste…

"Sorry," he suddenly said, "We'll be done in just a second," he lied. He was stretching this as long as he could. And even if he felt like a scoundrel, he did want to help. So he made a few more adjustments until he thought her ready. He stepped back with a breath, and she just looked at him.

"Which one?" she asked.

"The farthest." He ordered. She could do it, even if he saw the doubt in her eyes.

"I can't—" she started to say.

"Yes you can," he finished for her, "Just breathe and trust your instincts."

She looked at him for a moment, and Edward felt stripped clean by that gaze. And he wondered if his words had resonated in another part of her.

 _Instincts._

Did part of Bella wonder what was happening between them? Could she feel the tension between their skin or that the longing in Edward's eyes was more than just mindless lust?

Did she wonder if they were mates?

But her eyes were gone as quick as they came. Instead, an expression of determination overcame her features. He watched Bella pull back for the distance, but she was careful to keep his corrections even when her dress tore.

And even if the sight was enough to jostle his mind, the sound shot him somewhere _else._ Far past their quiet meadow and the shining sun. It had sent him into another vision: a nightmare where he remembered hearing that same tearing.

But this time, it was his own clothing, and he was in Victoria's bed.

' _I don't know how you can hate this body so much,'_ Victoria purred as she parted his ruined tunic. His hands were tied above him with her power; the magic she had taken from his very veins now working against him.

Edward groaned in protest. The witch had yet to do anything for real, it seemed as though she just liked tormenting him. But his father let her. And each time, she only pushed Edward deeper inside himself.

' _You would reject what we gave you? What I gave you?_ _'_ She murmured, her hand taking hold of his new bronze hair. But it was starting to turn a dull gray week after week, and his once brown skin was paling into something sickly…

' _Fuck you,'_ Edward said through clenched teeth, raising his head before she forced it back against the pillow.

' _You don't seem to understand what I've given you.'_ She laughed viciously, _'I've given you freedom. I gave you the ability to_ choose _. You are no longer bound to a fate the Gods chose. No longer bound to that insufferable court. And most importantly, Edward Cullen, you are no longer bound to that flimsy mate of yours.'_

Edward groaned when she forced him to look at her, but his mind was too caught up in what she had said.

' _I have no mate,'_ he said through his teeth. Mates were rare, impossible, even for a High Fae like him. And he had accepted the fact that he would never find his equal a long time ago.

Victoria just cackled, _'I know, I was shocked too. No faerie could ever deserve you, so how could a human? But I promise you, I made sure she never would. Unless that girl pays the highest price for love: with her own_ blood _.'_

Bulls-eye.

Edward blinked when he heard the thud, the sound pulling him from the memory, but the ilk of Victoria's words had seeped deep into his chest.

But Bella just turned to Edward, a full smile on her lips.

He gulped when he saw the dark velvet of her dress torn and gaping; the end of the fabric fraying just as it had in his vision. He had forgotten it until now, the sound of the tearing sending Edward spiraling to a memory he had repressed from his conscience.

That was the first time Victoria had revealed her plans to him. The witch had somehow broken the connection between Bella and him before she was even born. Their bond was broken, and it could only be reborn with blood. Bella's blood.

And Edward, in all his suffering had somehow repressed it; forgotten the key that Victoria had given. It wasn't love as they had hoped ... but the greatest sacrifice of all.

And even as Bella smiled at Edward, her lips parting to show dazzling happiness and sparkling eyes, all he saw was blood. Blood coating that same throat, which had just been dripping with a healthy sweat. Even her smooth chest and arms were caked in red.

"I was hot anyway," Bella stated with a shrug. He gulped a second time when he realized that it was just a vision. And she was only sweating.

"So how'd I do?" she breathed.

"Wonderful," He finally croaked, shaking his head from the unwanted memories. Could he not have just one pleasant afternoon with her? Was he doomed to be consumed by Victoria's torture? "Now, that was quite the improvement, how did that feel?" he asked.

"It felt awesome," she beamed, "Although, I have a feeling I might be a bit sore tomorrow."

He forced a light chuckle. He really needed to sleep; perhaps it would stop the unyielding visons. "I am sorry about your, dress. Alice might very well kill me after she finds out it was my doing," he said jokingly.

"Then it'll be our little secret." Bella dismissed, and he warmed at the sentiment. If he were in another lifetime, he would want to hold all of her secrets; content to be the one and only person she completely trusted. But he was not in that life, "Besides," she shrugged, "It's her own fault for choosing dark velvet for me to wear on a hot spring day."

"Then we can be done for today," Edward said solemnly and removed all the used arrows with his magic before she could.

"Show off," Bella muttered, and Edward just laughed. He felt the well of power had begun to refill from her presence, as he wiped the sweat that gathered on his own brow from the small strain.

"Look, now we match," he said with a grin, "And I'm also in need of a cool down." Even if his mind would never be healed from Victoria, or his heart forever un-beating from the curse, he was happy then and there.

Bella just rolled her eyes, and Edward wished they could be like this forever, "You're a walking ice cube. Somehow, I can't believe you can be capable of overheating."

He gave a wry laugh. But a thought sparked. "My body temperature may be lower, but I'm not unfeeling Bella," he said seriously.

"All right, then what do you suggest to cool off?" she rested a hand on her hip, and he loved to see her banter with him. He could have done it for eternity.

He only grinned, "A swim of course,"

"Really?" she asked, and he only nodded toward the forest.

She surprisingly followed without a protest, and each movement she made, Edward was listening for fear or hesitation.

But there was none.

Finally, he looked back to see if she had turned into someone else entirely. She wasn't asking questions or nervous. But he saw how her brows drew together.

"What? I can already see a question brewing, so out with it," he said.

"Why _are_ you so different?" she asked, "Jasper, Alice, and the other servants are to a degree, but it seems as though you got the worst of everything. Why you? Why does the blight affect you the most?"

And there it was.

"I'm not sure," it wasn't an entirely false answer. Victoria took pleasure in breaking him, he supposed. So when he grew powerful enough, she was ready to take that all away. But he wasn't ready to tell that to Bella, not yet. He would explain everything only right before he left.

"But I suppose it's because I had the most to lose. I had the most power, so the sickness drained me the worst," There, that sounded better than telling her that an insane bitch had cursed him, and was set on ruining his life and everyone in it.

A bird suddenly took flight from a canopy, and he saw her jolt. So she wasn't completely cured of the fear. Understandable. But they had still taken enormous strides.

"But it's not so bad," Edward continued, "Even when I miss my magic more than life itself, I've slowly gotten used to it. At first, it felt like I had lost a limb, that's how much I was dependent on it. But now, after nearly fifty years, I've almost forgotten what it felt like to have that much power."

"What do you miss the most?" Bella asked gently, "The magic or your…appearance?" the word caught in her throat. And the image from earlier that day sat in the front of his mind. Of course, she preferred his light eyes and hair to the sickly appearance he had currently. He didn't blame her.

But they had crested the hill then, "Don't think me so vain, Bella. My outward appearance and magic isn't the only thing that has been affected by the blight." He paused to think, "But if I had to choose one, it would be the magic I suppose. But that's definitely not the worst side effect." He grew lighter with each word he shared. But he felt the curse choking his words to remain vague.

"Well at least you have some of your power?" she offered.

He glanced at her "I suppose," he wanted to tell her that is was her that made the power resurface, but he was distracted as she bent to pick a batch of flowers. The small blooms seemed to glow in her presence, even as she plucked them from the ground.

"What part of your magic do you miss the most?" she turned to him then, and he smiled at the sight.

"The feeling of being connected to the earth, I could almost do anything I wanted; make plants flourish, control the weather, amongst other things." Those were his father's powers; powers the real High Lord of Spring would have. Edward's were more sinister; fit to rule darkness and shadow. But he stopped when her face grew tight: proof that he should reveal his own magic. It was a burden to have, and he knew it would be a burden on Bella to know what he was once able to do with what the Gods granted him.

"You spoke of not only your magic and appearance being affected. What other side effects are there?" she asked. And on cue, the sun came streaming through the canopy to illuminate her face...her hair.

How could he tell her without sounding like a bloody fool: _I can't see color. And until you came, I didn't know it was the most I would miss._

"Nothing of importance," was all he said, "But enough moping," he announced suddenly. "I brought you here for a bit of fun before _Antearrach,_ not to feel sorry for me."

Bella had sat down then, and her face turned from content to confused when Edward shrugged off his shirt.

"I thought we were just going to dip our feet in!" she cried when he only continued to undress. His heart danced to see the surprise in her eyes; the almost childlike joy of a rebellious swim.

"Come on!" he motioned, "It's said that drinking even a sip of the water will grant you eternal happiness."

Bella threw her head back with a laugh, "Then I'll have to drink the entire pond."

Edward knew the comment wasn't just a joke. But he hoped that then and there, she at least felt an ounce of what he was feeling. Because he had never been happier.

"I'm serious though. You're getting in this pond." He jerked a finger when he stood in nothing but his trousers.

"Edward, you have to be joking!" she said when he came closer, she started to shuffle backward, but her eyes were filled with unmistakable heat when they roamed across his chest.

He warmed to see it. And even if she could never love him as he did her, Edward was content to know she at least liked what she saw.

"We cannot just strip naked and swim like children!" she said.

He flashed her a wolfish grin, "Who said anything about getting naked?"

"Who are you and what have you done with Edward?" she eyed him curiously.

"It's almost Spring, I always get a little mirthful around this time of year." He lied. It was all because of her, of the happiness that she could bring forth. And a slice of his old self was slipping out…bit by bit.

He motioned to her clothes, the dress already ripped and ruined. He perhaps was pushing her too much, but by the look on her face, he knew she wanted to join him. She was just as mischievous as him.

"Come on. I promise you it's nothing I haven't seen before," he said before thinking.

Bella gasped, and a boot was flying at his head before he could backtrack. She had thrown it at him.

"I didn't mean it like that." He cried after catching it, Gods knew that Edward had taken his share of females in his youth. But that was before Victoria. And he had had no one except the females he mindlessly took every Spring Festival. And he would have to do it again tomorrow.

"I just meant….It's not like I haven't seen other—" This was not what he wanted to be talking about.

"Okay, enough, I'll get in." she held up her hands, but she was also blushing. "It would have been easier to have dealt with Jasper all day rather than you," she grumbled, but she still slid off each of her shoes.

"So you would have swum with Jasper?" he quirked a brow.

"You're incorrigible, I hope you know that," she deftly whipped one of her own shoes at his head again, and he caught it with a laugh only to toss it aside.

His eyes went to the ankles that peeked from under her skirts as she let down her stockings. More and more skin he had yet to see; and a longing, deep in his gut started to form. He wanted nothing but to spend centuries worshiping that body, if only he had been that lucky.

But then all thought left Edward's body when she slipped out of her dress.

Because Bella was standing in nothing but her thinly-made shift.

Her creamy flesh was even more enchanting in the sunlight, and he couldn't stop his eyes from roving downward. The swell of her breasts was clear, and Edward realized it had been a terrifyingly bad idea to invite her into the water, as it would make the cloth practically see-through.

Bella only kept her eyes level, as she stepped forward.

He gave her a lazy grin when she slid past him with her chin held high; another piece of himself slipping free. The piece that would tease and flirt and wanted to make her blush and scoff at the same time: only so she would laugh for the rest of her days.

But all he said was, "Ladies first," He motioned towards the shimmering surface. The starlight seemed to beckon to him more than ever, and it reflected off her pale skin.

He watched as her bare feet curled against the soft moss, the shift whispering against her arms and legs.

Edward stifled a groan.

And then she gave him a challenging look before she shot past him in a dive.

Her head popped up the next instant, and he could have stood there all day, just to see how the liquid light seemed to kiss her skin.

"Well, are you coming in or not?" She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

And that was all the invitation he needed as he dove in without another thought.

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 **A/N Yay! Happy Edward. The next chapter is going to be a doozy. So if you haven't re-read chapter 12 of A Court of Beasts and Beauties, forgive me, but I made some changes after the fact, but it made the story sit better in my mind. So as always, tell me what you think :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Thanks to all readers and reviewers and my Beta SunFlowerfran. This has been a blast to write, and I hope it's been enjoyable to read. For you ACOTAR fans, this chapter has themes and some dialogue straight from the Calanmai chapter.**

 **No copyright infringement intended. I do not own Twilight.**

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"May I ask why you're all wet? Did Bella finally come to her senses and push you in one of the fountains?" Jasper took a sip from his glass, amusement clear in his eyes.

Edward just cleared his throat as he sat behind his desk, "No, Bella and I actually went swimming earlier." It was an effort not to beam as he said it, but as always, his friend saw right through him.

"Really? And how was it?" Jasper quirked a brow, genuine surprise now.

Edward felt a smile tug at his lips, "It was fun." Actually, I was the most fun Edward had had in a while. Just thinking of the vision of Bella laughing in that pond, the sparkling water running down her hair and skin…Gods, just the _sound_ of her threatened to warm Edward's, dead heart.

" _Well, are you coming in or not?"_ He could still hear her voice. And the moment when he had jumped into that pond with her, every worry and stress had evaporated. Edward had forgotten how good it felt just to talk. Not speak of responsibilities or curses; pasts or regrets, but just be in the moment. Gods, he wanted nothing but an eternity of it.

With her.

But the Gods hadn't given him such a fate.

"Just fun?" His friend cast him a wary glance, "That's honestly all you have to say? Admit it; you're starting to regret your decision."

Edward groaned as he rubbed his face roughly, "What do you want me to say? It was more than fun; it was the purest I've felt in half a century. But out there, I remembered something. I remembered what we would really have to do to break the curse."

"Why wouldn't that change anything?" Jasper asked.

"Because, if today has done nothing else, it has solidified what I have to do," Edward answered.

His friend's face went serious, "Her life was terrible, Edward, and with us, with _you,_ it isn't. Perhaps you were meant to bring her here, and perhaps the Gods fated her for a purpose. Who are we to trust the word of the Fire Drake?"

Edward shook his head, "The price is clear. Bella must show her love through death. The curse demands nothing but blood. Bringing her here was a mistake."

"I think that's called fate," Jasper shrugged, "I don't question the Gods, and neither should you."

"I started questioning those bastards the instant I was taken and tortured," Edward fought a low growl as he sought the right words to explain; "I can't believe you speak of sacrificing her."

"What if we're taking it too literally, what if there's more to uncover? And what's wrong if Bella is strong and willing to help?" Jasper mused out loud.

Edward gave a terse laugh, "The moment I saw her I knew she was strong enough, but now I don't know if I can bear—"

Edwards own words became stuck in his throat then. He couldn't put her through any of this. He had once thought he could, just for the sake of his people. He had promised himself those eighteen years ago that he would find her and keep his heart locked away so they could at least try. But then he had found her, and it had all changed.

Edward just shook his head, "We're running out of luck."

Jasper just scoffed, forcing Edward to look to his sentry, "Never. We'll figure it out like we always do."

Edward just walked past his friend and turned into the castle, unable to bring himself to believe his friend's blatant lie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward was seated in his chamber, wearing what he thought to be a tunic of bright yellow and green; the traditional colors worn on Antearrach. It was an effort not to tear them off, even if his cursed eyes saw nothing but gray.

He would wait in seclusion while the entire court feasted and prepared for the celebration. But he could hear them laughing and singing, not knowing what a torment it was for a male to have to lie with another when he already knew his mate.

When his father mated his mother, the High Lord had given the ceremony to one of Edward's brothers. But then they had died in the war, and it was up to Edward to carry out the tradition.

But every year, it seemed as though the day came quicker and quicker. But this time, he knew it would be far worse than all the others because Bella was here. Her scent seemed to wrap around his entire senses, even if the ceremony had yet to begin.

He should have offered it to Jasper, but his friend wasn't as strong as he used to be. The curse had weakened all of them, and the only reason Edward could carry on was because he was the supposed High Lord.

But this year, he was stronger than ever. Bella had filled his magic's reservoir to the brim after their time together. And he could only hope Jasper had listened to his orders and locked her far, far away. Or else that power would be unleashed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you ready, brother?" Jasper said from the door, just as the last light was leaving their land. Edward noticed his friend's tunic looked bright and jolly; the exactly opposite of what Edward was feeling.

"Not particularly," Edward answered.

Jasper winced, "I know, stupid question. But it's time."

"Is Bella safe?" Edward rose stiffly, but he could feel the depth of his power slowly intensifying. His beast knew what day it was, and wanted nothing but her. It thirsted for Bella's flesh in a way that was not human nor Fae. The feeling was animalistic, it urged Edward to do nothing but consume, and he was terrified what he would do once he was put under.

"Yes, she's in her chambers; doors are locked," Jasper promised.

Edward nodded after a stretch of his neck. "Then let's get this over with."

He could smell the smoke, the incense of the bonfires along the west woods as they walked through the gardens and towards the light. The ceremony would center around the starlight pond: the one and only source of remaining power that would soon consume him when the last daylight left.

There were hundreds of Fae and faeries alike, standing, mingling as they waited for his spectacle, and then they could do whatever they liked: find a partner of their own or celebrate the surge of magic.

Edward could feel that same magic surging the closer he approached the starlight pond. And he didn't notice the parting crowd until he heard Fae feet whispered against the grass. Every single Fae and faerie had made an aisle for him. Countless faces faded into the background.

Edward dimly felt two females parting his tunic and spread a white iridescent paint across his chest and abdomen. He knew it was enchanted to smudge only from the touch of the female he chose; proof of the coupling after it was finished.

It was savage and archaic, the whole process. A show that the hidden animal inside of every Fae loved to watch. But none of them knew what it was to not have control of mind or body.

Perhaps years ago, Edward had once enjoyed the night of emptiness away from his consciousness; waking up the morning after not remembering what had happened.

But now, his skin crawled to know he was going to betray his mate.

And the more steps Edward took, towards that silver, shimmering water, the more he lost of himself. But the last image he saw before the animal overtook and demanded payment, was the sight of the sparkling water running down Bella's smiling face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Drums, he heard the drums, the pulsating, surging rhythm making his heart beat in sync, his chest expand with ragged breaths as the last of the magic took hold.

The darkness of the cave that was used solely for the ceremony did nothing to blanket his erratic instincts. He turned, his skin still wet with water, but his fingers clenched with talons that would not surface. He felt like a lion on the prowl, perhaps looked like one. And the crowd hushed in silence as he stepped from the inlet.

He was the hunter.

Edward dimly saw the females lined for him, their skin barely covered by silk sheaths of fabric, their own whirls of white paint spread across their breasts and thighs.

However, his beast growled for more. It might as well have spat at the offering, and he felt how drunk he had grown on the power. It was a familiar kind of magic; the silver pond capturing and channeling all the heavens had to offer.

This was not magic from the earth, no. Edward was Lord of the Stars and Night, and so this magic was from the depthless skies.

"Choose," one of the fairies that had painted him said softly. She was not dressed like the others, so a priestess then. He let loose a snarl at the order, but the magic inside him beckoned Edward to do the same.

' _Choose who will be yours,'_ the beast echoed inside his skull. He dimly looked to the line of females, and all the faces beyond. But he did not want any of them.

Edward had been a puppet long enough.

He had been his father's dutiful son; to be the heir he had always wanted.

He had been Victoria's helpless slave, nothing more than a body from which to leach her power.

Then he had become the God's selfless Lord, the male that was called by duty and honor to serve his people.

But there was one he had yet to serve. And he could not resist it any longer.

Without thinking, Edward was breaking free and ripping through the ritual; far away from the people that gathered with heavy expectations; far from the spell that Victoria had leashed him to thatforeign body.

He didn't know if it was his mind, body or soul that was separated, but he was suddenly flying through the air.

Edward had his wings back.

' _Find her,'_ was the first thing that inner voice chanted when at last he broke free; the rhythms of the words starting to match up with the drums. _'You are finally yourself, go and find her.'_

The magic still controlled his mind and soul, but instead of commanding the part of him that surrendered to the Spring Court, it unveiled what Victoria had taken.

As his dark power ricocheted outward, he fell from the air and somehow fell into a pool in the middle of the woods.

He could still hear the distant drums though barely a shiver in the night. So he was still in the Spring Court, at least. He rose from the water to see his reflection, not from Starlight pond, but from a calm lake that perfectly mirrored the night sky.

Edward no longer saw gray skin and black eyes.  
Instead, pointed ears peaked through obsidian hair, vivid green eyes rested under dark brows, and white, elongated canines grinned back from tan lips as the true, High Lord of the Night Court came out to play.

No, it wasn't real, it wasn't possible.

But he couldn't stop looking at the brown skin, couldn't help but stretch his wings and stretch his shoulders as they caught the breeze. And still, the magic was commanding; urging him to head west towards the edge of the forest and beyond the ritual.

But he would delay it only a bit more. He was finished being offered like nothing more than flesh and bone. Too many people had pushed and pulled him for their advantage. And just when he had found his happiness, it was going to be taken away again.

No, he wouldn't allow it.

Because Edward was going to find the Drake, and demand his answers.

"My, you look different," The moment he had thought of it, the Drake appeared behind him.

Edward turned, immediately calculating the creature before him. It wore a black cloak to conceal its own gray skin, but the eyes were different than Edward had remembered. They were red.

"You've changed as well, it seems," Edward answered, not altogether recognizing his voice. It was smoother; richer.

"No, I haven't High Lord. You are in your old body. And in turn, are able to see in color." The Drake pointed to his own eyes, and Edward's widened in understanding.

"How is this possible?" he murmured.

The Drake shrugged, "Your mate being near gives you power. And mixed with the Spring Festival, it allowed you to break past the curse. But only for only a few hours."

"Then let's make this quick. I have questions, and you will answer them." Edward felt his wings spread in the silent order, but the Drake only smiled.

"I once told you I would only answer your questions if you gave me more than your father's crown. That offer still stands. What do you have to offer?"

"I will not give you the Night Court," Edward answered.

The thing smiled wider, "Then what is it you value more than your crown? A certain human comes to mind…"

Edward growled, and the Drake angled his head, "I don't mean to anger you, High Lord. But I need something."

"How about a favor," Edward offered, "When this is all over, I will owe you a single favor. You should be smart enough to know how much that is worth." What he didn't tell the Drake was that he wouldn't be alive to give favors. He would be nothing but Victoria's slave.

Nevertheless, the Drake seemed to weigh his proposition before lowering its head, "Very well, but I warn you, I am not one you wish to be in debt to."

"Noted," Edward fought not to roll his eyes, "But you must answer in detail. No vague answers this time."

It nodded. "I will grant you three answers."  
"How much of Bella's blood must be shed to break Victoria's curse?" Edward prepared himself to hear the answer, even if it was one he didn't want to hear.

"Enough," The Drake answered.

Edward clenched his teeth, "That is not a Gods damned answer."

"I only see what is, High Lord, I cannot give you answers that are not yet set in stone. I know that your mate must give enough of her blood. Victoria's curse is powerful but mysterious; a separate being in its own right and it binds the witch and you in its web."

"What if Bella says she loves me, would that be enough as originally thought?"

"Enough for one eternity, but not two." The Drake said solemnly, and Edward felt his chest seize.

So one of them would still have to die. But it was the same ending; they would be without each other. And Bella could potentially lose her life.

But Edward only continued to his final question.

"Do you know why the Gods chose her as my mate?" It had been a question resting on his mind ever since he had seen her those nineteen years ago.

' _Why are you here?' Charlie Swan's voice quivered in fear, as the mother was only staring at Edward as if she was plotting his death._

' _I came to make you an offer for your daughter,' Edward repeated the words Victoria had told him to; 'The last daughter with the maternal name Dwyer is ours by right.' Before coming, Edward had asked the witch what to tell the parents when he took their child, and Victoria had merely told him to say the human had Fae blood. Even false, by their laws the child would belong to them. It was an archaic law, but perhaps one the humans would buy without question._

 _And he was tired, so very tired that he didn't care to ask Victoria if it was the truth, or just one of her many games._

" _Go to hell, beast,' the mother spat, but Edward only blinked._

" _She will live in comfort and want for nothing, my dear.' Charlie murmured to his wife, 'Perhaps be granted eternal life if the priestess' deem her worthy!"_

 _Edward gave his best, bored expression when the mother narrowed her eyes at him. He had been given a choice for the night. But his actions felt, wrong, odd…as if it was someone else that was willing him to carry out his actions._

 _Edward had initially thought Victoria to be lying when she revealed he had a mate. But she had been in a rare mood that previous evening. And after searching, he had found the household of Swan and Dwyer. However, his mate was only an infant...barely born._

 _An infant he would have to choose to sacrifice._

 _Edward's magic was retreating with each passing sunset. Even as that day marked over three decades after his mother's death and his father's madness, he knew he wouldn't last much longer with Victoria leaching from him. And if he wanted what was left of his life, he would have to give the witch what she demanded._

' _Give her to me, and I promise you she will live for eternity,' Edward stated blandly, once again repeating what Victoria had told him just hours before. A lie; the infant would die, but she would set Edward free, 'She will want for nothing,'_

 _But he almost retched at the idea of giving such innocence to Victoria, but he was so weak, so tired of the endless torture and demon voices. It tormented him in his sleep, and when he woke, the witch was there to continue it._

 _And so when Victoria had given him a lifeline, he was damned if he wasn't going to take it._

' _You seek to take her now?' The father's eyes widened, and as dead as Edward was, he felt his gut pull._

' _Yes. It's now or not at all,' Edward could feel his own mother's scorn from the afterlife. But he pushed it away; deep down inside himself where he kept what shards of himself he had left. Or else Victoria would take even that._

' _No! I won't let you,' Renee suddenly shrieked, 'Now get out of my house, or Gods help me I will kill you where you stand.'_

 _Edward, even in his stupor still was smart enough not to ignore the woman's threat._

 _So he only backed away. But he saw how the father wavered; how weak Charlie Swan was..._

 _And Edward heard the words leave his mouth before he could stop them, 'Could I hold her?'_

 _He glanced to where the mother looked as if she would carry out her promise. But the husband gave his wife a gentle look. And wordlessly, the father lifted the babe from her crib and nestled it in his arms._

 _Edward felt the breath leave his body the instant she blinked up at him. She was colorless from the curse, but he felt the warmth from her skin thrum through his veins. She was powerful, even then._

 _And he couldn't do it._

" _What if—"Edward looked up to the father, "—I promise to give you eighteen years with her. Then she must come with me. Otherwise, her life will be in nothing but danger.'_

 _Edward stared at the balding, sweating man, and how even in the mansion where they stood, the father had been barely keeping his family afloat. The Swans were broke, and Edward gave the man a chance to save his youngest daughter._

 _And a shard of hope sprung in Edward's cold heart for this pathetic man and his_ _shit-luck in their cruel world. He knew the wife was ignorant to how their funds slipped, but Charlie remained hopeful through it all._

 _So Edward_ _agreed then and there he would endure eighteen more years of torture until the girl was of age. At least, she would have a life before she would be given to the Gods. Then in the afterworld, she would_ _know nothing but happiness. And then they all would be free._

 _That was what Edward told himself, at least._

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

The Drake smiled at him; somehow knowing what vision Edward had just remembered, brought forth by some mysterious circumstance. But he remembered now, that Victoria had told him that Bella was half Fae. But he had only assumed it was a lie.

"Your mate is the last of an ancient bloodline." The Drake announced, "She holds a deep connection to the very curse your witch bores. The Gods like to work in strange ways."

Edward clenched his teeth, still not satiated completely. But he knew it was the end of the line and time was waning. The Spring Rite beckoned to him, finally ordering him back to the ritual he had been promised to complete.

So, unable to stop the pull any longer, Edward stretched his wings and shot into the sky.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The closer he came to the burning pyres and unsettled Fae and faeries, the more the magic took hold of Edward. He could sense the anticipation in the air, the call for a female to be claimed and to grant their land with power to feed the rest of them. And Edward had promised himself that would be his last gift before he gave in.

But then he smelled her.

Bella, she was in the gardens. Out of the castle and mingling amongst the crowd.

" _Go find her!"_ his beast immediately commanded, and the wind seemed to whisper in agreement.

His nostrils flared to know she was just below the canopy, waiting for Edward to complete the Rite. But he couldn't land, couldn't claim a Fae female when his mate was just mere feet away. He barely had enough control of his mind to turn away from her enchanting scent.

But then he heard a single voice shout from the ground, _'Let me go.'_

Her voice; laced with fear and strength at the same time. And Edward knew that quiver; had once barely made it in time to save her from sure-death with the Oillteil.

But these were different monsters holding his mate. And he didn't care that he would look like a stranger to her in his Night form; or that he would most likely scare her more than the other creatures ever did.

Edward had to go to her.

More so, his magic was ordering it, commanding deep in his bones that his sole purpose on earth was to protect what was his.

And when he landed on the soft earth, the ground shuddered from the sheer power. And he growled when he saw they were taunting her, carrying his mate away with their foul hands that Edward would enjoy tearing off later.

But his monstrous urge to kill every single one of them was erased when he saw she was falling. She had tripped, and her face was careening towards the ground.

But in a breath, he was catching her, his now-warm hands secured under her arms and gently setting her right.

Oh, Gods, he could see in color. Edward could see the soft chocolate of her hair as it reflected the moonlight; he could see the flush of her skin from the fear of the chase.

"There you are," he purred the first thing that came to mind, "I was so worried you had run off." More of the magic talking than anything else, but his power also brushed against her in recognition. It was nothing like he had ever felt, being so near to her in his real body.

He hadn't realized how Victoria had snuffed out more than just his sense of sight. Edward could now feel every breath Bella took, hear the whisper of her lashes as they fluttered in shock. But he had not yet been granted a look at her eyes, as they were glued on the three ilk before them.

"Thank you for finding her for me," Edward swallowed his anger, and smoothly turned to them. But he saw how the faerie's eyes widened in fear. Even if Edward had been absent from his real court, no one had forgotten the mysterious High Lord of Night.

And perhaps they would run back and tell the world just who they had found bound in the Spring Court, but he cared not.

"Enjoy the ceremony," he ordered when they eyed Bella. And they were helpless but to do as he said as his magic forced their feet backward.

Bella shuddered, perhaps from the power of his words, or the feeling of his magic. But his own muscles tensed to draw her closer; to devour every essence of his mate. But every bit of it was snuffed out like a doused flame when she looked at him.

Then Edward saw Bella in full color. And suddenly, after fifty years of silence, Edward's heart began to once again beat. But beyond the thundering sound of his heart and the rushing in his veins, Edward had one thought...

She was breathtaking.

And by the way his dark power kissed hers, she thought the same. Her eyes surveyed him openly, and his beast preened.

' _She has finally seen you,'_ the beast purred, and Edward's heart spun out of control at the reminder: Bella was seeing him; seeing _all_ of him.

 _From an ancient Bloodline._ The Drake's words repeated. Indeed, one look at Bella's warm eyes and hair told Edward she hid heat and wildfire in her veins. A raging chaos of power that would challenge and battle his own cold mist and darkness. It seemed as though the Gods did work in strange ways after all.

"What's a human like you doing out on _Antearrach_?" he asked when she had yet to speak. She was curious enough to brave the dangers even after being warned, but he longed to hear her answer.

Bella gave a glance past him, "My friends brought me." That voice, Gods, it was a sparkling song to his ears, a blinding light to his soul.

"And who are your friends? I'd like to meet them," He smiled with the cock of his head. He wanted Bella to say his name.

"A male and female," she said with the narrowing of her eyes.

"And their names?" he murmured when he stepped closer. And he felt a wave of her power stretch outwards; a warning and a wanting at the same time. And he smiled wider.

She only pressed her lips shut, but the way her eyes dropped to his lips then back up, she was anything but uninterested.

"You're welcome, by the way," he caressed each word, having missed his old voice and body. But he would miss seeing her like this. It would be agony to go back. "For saving you," He inclined his head towards the crowd, and she only bristled.

Somehow, he was annoying her and scaring her at the same time. But a layer of attraction hung between them, too. He could feel its thickness slowly calling to the beast inside of him. Whatever fire Bella held, it felt as if it was slowly burning him from the inside out.

Or perhaps it had been that long since he had felt his heart beat.

"Strange, for a mortal to be friends with two faeries," he said out loud, "Aren't humans supposed to hate us? And aren't you, for that matter, supposed to stay to your own region?" he asked curiously; the festival's magic clenching its fist around Edward's self-control. But he wanted to know her true feelings for his kind.

"They've never given me a reason to fear them," she answered.

He cocked his head with a grin, "Well, they aren't very good friends if they've left you alone, at the Great Rite of all things," the chuckle that resonated from him sounded like darkness incarnate. And perhaps it was.

How he had missed his old self. And even if he was to be turned back to normal after the Rite, he was glad the Gods granted him one last chance.

"Such an outrageous tradition if you ask me." His eyes settled on her, hungry to hear her voice again. With each second, he was slipping under the spell. But he wanted to fight it as long as he could.

"They went to get refreshments," Bella held her chin high, and his eyes dropped to the simple dress she wore. Gods, he could make her feel pleasure in so many ways, but it took all of him to rein in the desire. She deserved more than being taken savagely during some Fae Rite.

"I'm afraid that the refreshments aren't to be had for a while," he took a step closer, "So, it might be some time before your friends return. May I escort you somewhere in the meantime?"

"No," she said firmly.

He just waved a hand towards the valley—towards the drums. "Enjoy the ceremony then. And try to stay out of trouble." He licked his canines in a gleaming smile, but he would find Jasper and tell him to take her back to the castle.

They had enough fun for one night.

But just as he turned back to carry out his duty, she blurted, "So are you from this land?"

He felt his body go rigid as he turned. And he only glanced down to himself, grinning with the sliver of information he would give her, "Do I look as if I'm a part of the Spring Court?"

Bella blinked at him, and he saw how her chest heaved with excitement. His nostrils flared, "No, I'm not a part of the noble Lord of Light's little band, and happy for it." That was his beast talking; he was as much an unwillingly part of the Spring Court as she was.

But still, his mate wavered, still driven by her insatiable curiosity that only drove Edward insane. Even faced with perhaps the most frightening incarnations he had, Bella stood her ground.

And even with all the times she had lifted his soul or melted his heart, knowing Bella could face Edward's true self, made him the happiest of all.

"Why are you here then?" she cocked a brow, gaining confidence, and Edward felt his green eyes flare.

"Because all the monsters have been let out of their cages tonight."

And even if it was true that Edward's real body was monstrous to some, he saw the want in Bella's eyes. He was not a monster to her at all.

His mate recognized him.

"Enjoy the ceremony," she repeated the words this time, and he only bowed his head as she turned quickly. But he saw the hesitation there, and the million questions that rested on her shoulders.

Edward only watched her with hungry eyes as she turned back; taking in each curve and each slope of her body, each color and shade of her skin and hair under the moonlight. He wanted to remember it all.

Edward wanted to remember the night they had met.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	14. Chapter 14

Edward watched her go as long as he could, but he felt the Rite calling to him deep in his gut.

' _Jasper, Bella is among the crows. Take her back to the castle.'_ Edward managed to shoot through his mind before his feet were drawn back. And the last thing he remembered was the feeling of a burning fire as his mind was ripped from his body.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

' _You are no son of mine,' his father stomped away, his feet the only sound in the damp dungeon as Edward was left alone with the witch. He hung his head in pure agony._

 _Victoria turned to him with a feline smile._

' _It seems your mother has finally died. Even your father couldn't save her from the sickness,' Victoria giggled. And the sound raked against Edward's temper. 'So we can finally finish what I have started."_

 _She bent low to take his face in her hand._

 _Edward didn't make a sound._

' _Do you want to be a true heir or not? I could make you someone to be proud of with only a few words.' Her eyes dropped to his lips, 'Say you love me, Edward, and I can make you the male your father and mother always wanted you to be.'_

 _Edward gave a heavy breath of shame. His brothers were dead from the war, and his mother was now gone. What else did he have?_

' _It will happen, either way, you know.' She stood with a sigh, 'Your father has paid me to change you from this form,' she gestured vaguely to his face. 'Your dark hair and eyes are proof of your Night Court lineage. And he demands that be removed.'_

 _Edward was helpless_ _but_ _to listen;_ _but_ _his stomach retched at her words. He had no idea what she was talking of. His brother's death and his mother's lengthy sickness had driven the Spring Lord mad and for some reason, he had invited the witch to stay with them. Now Edward understood the reason why._

 _Somehow, with her spell book, Victoria, was planning to change hi_ _m._ _But how, was the question._

' _But I promise, if you only say those three little words and lift me from a curse of my own, I will try my best to make it painless for you,' she said._

 _Edward kept his mouth shut. What curse Victoria was speaking of, he knew not. But even if Edward_ _was motherless, and a bastard, all he had was his bloodline. He would not give that up, even now. And most of all, he would not give the witch what she wanted._

' _No one will ever love you,' he spat blood at her. He could feel his last remaining magic lag with the words. And she just blinked. 'So you will have to do a hell of a lot worse,' he laughed, using the shrivel of fight he had to rebel one last time._

' _So be it,' Victoria smiled._

Edward blinked at the memory as he breathed in another breath. He was still at the Ritual, but he remembered that was the night he had begun the slow, torturous curse Victoria had inflicted. And then, over a span of thirty years, Victoria tortured and took nearly all of his magic. And as she drained him, so did his family's land. Perhaps his mother dying was the end of the last good magic that kept the Spring Court alive. And somehow his father allowed all of it. Until the day the High Lord of Spring died too.

But every day, Victoria stayed and offered Edward an end his own agony ... just give his heart to the witch; say he loved her.

Each day he refused.

At first, he didn't know where his strength was coming from. He liked to think it was from his mother. Or perhaps from his real father that unknowingly only got to meet his son once.

Whatever hope it was, Edward held on to what he could. But then Victoria had told Edward of his mate. Over three decades of agony and suddenly he knew where every ounce of strength had originated.

It was all from Bella.

And despite that small day of weakness, he was damned if he was going to stop fighting now. So he finally moved from the cover of darkness to see all the females still gathered. And their eyes only widened when they saw it was him. He flared his nostrils; still able to smell the lingering scent of _her_. And it was useless to pretend he wanted anything else but Bella.

Even if the magic turned his brain to mush, and his Fae logic had dissipated just as his wings and pre-cursed body had, the wanting for her would never stop.

So he finally gave in.

Edward shot through the crowd, so fast that some of them gasped in surprise. But all of their gossip and murmurings turned into noise.

He hadn't known the relief he could feel once he gave into the bond. And even if Victoria had severed the magic between him and Bella, she had not been able to take it all.

Unknowingly, he had harbored the mating bond deep inside himself. And even if Bella would never come to know of it or understand the destiny that fated Edward as hers, he was not going to live another day without claiming his own promise.

He felt his magic shatter outward at the moment of that realization. It sent a shockwave across the land. It silenced every Fae that gathered, silenced the trees and threatened to silence the mountains themselves.

Even wild and animalistic as he sprinted towards the castle, Edward managed to hear Jasper warning him through his head to leave her be: to even leave the Spring Court for the night and forget about the ritual completely. But Edward wouldn't have any of it but her.

He entered the castle with the slam of the doors. _'Go and find her,'_ the beast commanded, _'Claim your mate. End the ritual,'_ The wind blew from behind him, making the foyer howl in agreement.

His instincts guided him down the hall as his mind echoed a drumbeat of its own. It was a thundering in his blood that replaced his now un-beating heart. For a brief second when he had seen Bella at the rite, she had made it beat again. And he wondered if it would happen once more if he only touched her.

He closed his eyes at the thought. To touch her would be heaven, to feel the heat of her skin would perhaps set him aflame. But when he stopped outside her bedroom door to listen for the sound of her presence, there was only silence.

' _Be careful,'_ that was his conscience speaking because his beast had taken over Edward's actions. _'Do not take what is yet yours.'_

He paused at the warning. The history and traditions with mating bonds were lengthy and tedious. But he couldn't wait for questions and answers, or parties and announcements. Edward wanted her _now._

And as soon as he turned around, he saw her.

He froze as soon as Bella set eyes on his shadow.

"Going somewhere?" he said. He felt her shimmer of magic touch his skin, but he prowled closer. ' _Tread carefully,'_ there was that voice again. His own voice, but he ignored it.

"Just a midnight snack," she answered as Edward stood a breath away. He watched as her eyes took in his bare chest, and they widened when she saw the untouched paint.

If she knew the purpose of the enchanted markings, Bella didn't show it. But the perfect lines were a clear message: he had not gone through with the ritual.

And his beast scoffed at the thought of taking any one of those females. Edward would not take another in his life; couldn't possibly think of another after he had met her _._

Bella seemed to waver, sensing that perhaps more beast than Fae was in control and made a move to walk past him. But Edward caught her wrist. And before his Fae mind could tell him it was a mistake, the monster inside was pushing her up against the wall.

Bella gasped in shock, and he only ran a breath along her neck. Gods she smelled like fire and wind.

It drove him insane.

"I smelled you," he whispered into her skin. And the words only continued to spill from his lips like a prayer, "Your scent was everywhere ... it drove me wild. But when I tried to find you—" he cut himself off with a groan, "—nearly bursting out of my skin by the sheer essence of you." He brought his eyes to hers, "You weren't there."

She narrowed her eyes and said firmly, "Let go." There was power in those words; an equal telling the other that they had gone too far. But his beast did not do well with orders.

"You drove me mad," his voice had turned dark, "I searched for you, and when you weren't there…when I couldn't find you…" He remembered all the times Victoria had nearly broken him. She had taken everything, almost forcing him to take Bella as an infant. But he had found his mate against all odds.

"I couldn't pretend anymore," Edward said instead. "Even for everyone's sake. I want you, Bella.

I want _you_."

Bella didn't make a move to leave, but her skin was starting to burn under his grasp as her chest heaved with each breath. And then Edward smelled it.

Her desire.

He growled against the instincts inside, "They all asked me not to be gentle with them either. Begged me to take one of them, but I…." The words weren't coming out right. And he glanced down to see how her pulse fluttered.

"But I would have been gentle with you," he said with finality. And he saw how she loosened with his words, "I would have had you moaning my name the entire time." Edward spoke on, drunk on the way her pupils dilated, and the way her lips parted.

She wanted him too.

"And I would have taken a very, _very_ long time with you, Bella."

How many times had he imagined finally tasting her lips, or feeling the heat of what lies between her creamy thighs?

And the magic demanded it. So much, in fact, it was almost nauseating to ignore what the Right wanted Edward to carry out. And he could have lifted her skirts then and there, and Bella would have allowed it.

Bella caught his gaze then, and a deep, un-yielding heat was in her eyes before a single thought resonated in his head.

' _Then why don't you?'_ Yet this voice was not his own, but Bella's.

She quirked a brow, but her jaw was set into hardness. Edward gained a bit of clarity as he absorbed what he had heard. She was ready to give herself over to the lust; to him.

And even if Edward wanted her body more and more each second he wavered, Edward wanted much more. He wanted to earn her love, wanted to know what it was like to have her heart, because Gods knew his was already in her capable hands.

' _But you do not have hers,'_ his voice was back. And in a single breath, Edward dropped his grip from her wrists.

She slumped in confusion and gave him a suddenly furious glare. Edward knew why. He had confronted her like a common whore, worked both of them into a frenzy and then decided against it the moment later.

But it would have been wrong.

Bella rose with her chin held high as she sought to pass him. His beast smiled when she came close.

"Why would I want someone's leftovers?" Bella cut, and she smiled back. But this was a wicked grin, meant to put Edward in his place: A mate calling in a challenge. And damn him if his beast wouldn't answer.

And then he was at her neck; his Fae instincts singing as Edward sunk his teeth into her neck. Bella's cry turned into a groan as he lazily ran his tongue where his mouth had just lingered. She tasted glorious.

Soft and sweet met his sharp and soulful as Edward slowly parted her legs with his thigh, and Bella let out a sigh when he applied the smallest pressure to the heat there. But his lips were too busy trailing languid kisses along her throat and neck to groan at what he felt.

"Don't you understand?" he murmured, beseeching her to comprehend with his voice, "I couldn't do it."

She was silent, and Edward ground his body against hers to make the point. And she moaned at the feeling of his manhood pressed against her lower abdomen; even clutched at his shoulder with her hand. Did she not understand the hardness she was feeling was brought on by nothing but her?

' _More'_ there was her voice again. Begging him through his mind to take her. She had thought of him before, Edward remembered the picture of him between her legs only days after they had met. But the vison was covered with a sheen of lust, nothing more. No love or admiration, just one body wanting the other.

So Edward pulled away again. It was as if his Fae mind and that of the beast were at war. And each minute the pair switched control; Edward only a pawn between them.

"Bella," Edward groaned. Perhaps it was a plea for her help, for her to understand that he didn't want a piece of her, but her entire soul bound with his for eternity.

But she only asked, "The Ritual?" A vague but clear question that rested between them. Edward lowered his brows at her, fear of taking another breath only to smell her tantalizing scent.

But it was no use. Bella was as riled up at him, and her own body was sending out signals that she herself could not control.

He felt his nostrils flare to those very signals: how her muscles loosened, how her body became heavy and her magic turned seductive. It called to Edward in the rawest and pure of forms.

And it took all of Edward's strength—more than he had used in the war, more he had conjured to not return to his real court to save his mother, or to even fight off Victoria for nearly fifty years. It took all that strength and more, to walk away from his mate for a second time that night.

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"Do you have to speak so loudly?" Edward groaned into his hands.

He heard Jasper scoff from the other side of the table. "It's not my fault you decided to go gallivanting and avoid the Rite only to come back a mess. How much did you drink, anyhow?"

"I didn't drink, I was too busy accosting Bella in the halls," he grumbled sarcastically.

"Ah, yes. I wondered if that was going to happen. That reminds me, Alice owes me twenty gold coins." Jasper said.

Edward looked from under his hands at his friend, "You and Alice bet whether or not I would assault Bella?" he asked angrily. "I am not proud what that magic made me do last night. And you two were making fun of it?"

"Please," Jasper gave Edward a long look, "You had full control over yourself last night. I saw it, and so did everyone who witnessed. How else were you to refuse all those females?"

"I just—" Edward cut himself off to run a hand through his hair. He could still taste Bella on his lips when he had woken up that morning. And he remembered everything; his transformation, seeing her in color and hearing her voice in full sound. It was something he would never forget. "The magic gave me a certain…clarity. Enough clarity to change back into my Night Court body." Edward was mostly speaking aloud as he recalled the night before, "And then, when I saw all those females waiting, I—"

Jasper raised his brows at him, "You…what?"

Edward paused to think of what he remembered feeling, but it had been more than just any one emotion. It had been an order deep in his bones to find his match.

"I wanted more." He said.

And before Edward could explain anymore, the dining room doors shot open and Bella dressed in a bright blue dress, practically stomped into the hall.

Jasper jolted from the noise alone since he actually had drunk too much last night. Edward tried his best not to groan out loud ... he knew was going to have to explain himself, and it would not be easy.

"Good afternoon," Bella announced a little too loudly.

"Morning," was their muted responses before Jasper and Edward realized it was one in the afternoon.

Bella just took her seat, all the while her chin was held high, so a permanent mark was visible on her neck. Edward grimaced as Jasper spoke first.

"You look…refreshed. Sleep well?"

Edward waited as she pushed her food around for a moment before looking at Jasper.

"Wonderfully, actually. Even with all that noise from the drums," she said sharply.

Edward narrowed his eyes in confusion. She should have been fuming at him, yet she gave a small shrug and turned back to her meal.

"So what's that bruise?" Jasper asked.

There was a beat of silence as Edward shot Jasper a pained expression, only to have the sentry smile back. "Why does Bella have a bruise on her neck from you?" Jasper asked again.

' _I hate you,'_ he shot to his sentry through his mind. But still, Edward swallowed his pride and answered, "I bit her."

More silence followed.

"We might have run into each other after the Rite, when Bella decided she needed a snack."

Edward felt, more than heard Bella's chair groan as she clutched its armrests. She was holding back a certain infamous temper of her own, and yet he spoke on.

"She seems to have a death wish," Edward only continued, careful to keep his eyes down on his meal. He had a death wish of his own, pushing her when she was upset. But if Bella kept up such a curiosity, he was sure it would send both of them to an early grave.

"And if Bella can't be bothered to listen to directions," Edward continued, "Then I can't be held accountable for the consequences." He quirked a brow at her, daring her to refute. Even if Edward had been a brute last night, Bella should have never given him the chance to be.

But pointing that out had been a very bad choice.

"Accountable?" Bella lowered her voice, "You cornered me in the hall like a wolf with a rabbit!"

He heard Jasper try and fail to muffle his laughter. Edward only straightened with a groan. This wasn't one of the last conversations he wanted to have with her before he left.

"While I might not have been in my right mind last night," Edward bumbled to defend himself, "Jasper had warned you several times to stay in your room. That it wasn't safe for you."

Bella sucked in a breath of pure frustration before saying, "I might have paid more attention if you would have just _told_ me that _Antearrach_ was a little more than a festival. How was I supposed to know that there was going to be a faerie orgy out in the woods?"

Edward was unable to hide his shock. He wasn't used to this. Debate and discussion was expected of any High Lord, but now Bella was fighting dirty.

"If I knew you to be interested in such things, I would have told you," he gave her a slow smile, and she bristled just like he knew she would. "But still, you were given ample warning. It's not my fault you always _insist_ on getting in trouble." He shrugged in conclusion.

And Bella's head might as well have exploded right then and there.

"I'll just be leaving to let you two talk this out," Jasper wisely excused himself. Edward watched his friend leave before turning back to her.

"I am sorry about what happened, Bella," he said even if her jaw was permanently set into hardness, "But perhaps you should do better to realize you are at home no longer."

It was supposed to be a gentle reminder. No matter how much Edward wished otherwise, there would always be things that sought her. And even though her bravery was proven to rival even the most powerful Fae, she was still only human.

Bella rose from the table. The move was laden with grace and power, and all Edward could do was watch.

"And whose fault is that?" she asked with the cock of her head, "I didn't choose to be here, Edward. At least you had a choice last night. A choice to say no, whereas, I was never given that chance." And with that, she turned and calmly strode out the way she had come.

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 _Edward fought to lift his head. His body felt like it was being torn to ribbons; his mind being slowly eaten from the inside out. But all of it was false; his own magic Victoria now used, to_

 _make him feel as if he was slowly being tortured._

 _He managed to lock eyes with the witch. It had been forty-seven years. He counted each day, each month, each year._

 _Victoria had said he could end it the moment he gave his heart to her; literally or figuratively he didn't know. But either way, it was the last hope he had. To bow to no one but his crown and his match. Even after his home and court were rotting in the ground, he still had hope of one day meeting his mate._

" _I promised you, it would end in fifty years," Victoria said as Edward threatened to take in a breath through the blinding pain. It felt as if every tissue was being torn from his bones. "And I thought this sort of torture would break you,"_

" _But perhaps," she said, "I have been using the wrong type of torture. Maybe I should look deeper into what makes the Prince of Darkness so damned mysterious?"_

 _Victoria put a single finger to where his heart still beat. And Edward thought she was going to claw it from his very chest when she cocked her head in thought._

" _You loved your mother." Victoria seemed to be thinking aloud. And Edward's eyes widened when he realized she was beyond reading his mind. The witch had broken into his soul._

" _You loved the High Lord of Night," she cooed, "You still love your home. But even now, you doubt if they would ever accept a bastard as their ruler. But what you don't know is that your mother told us the throne was rightfully yours. With her dying breath, she told us the once father of darkness gave the throne to her son."_

 _Edward's head shot to the witch, and Victoria grinned. "It's true. You are High Lord of the Night Court."_

" _So why not give yourself to me?" she shrugged, "We could be the most powerful force in the entire continent."_

 _Edward seethed out a breath through his teeth. He had been sensing the magic growing inside him long ago, but he only thought it was because of his father's final death. But now it all made sense._

" _But I know why you hold yourself back," Victoria started circling, "It's that human, isn't it? But that's why I do all of this. I have to tear the bond from every facet of yourself. So when you give yourself, at least you had a choice. A choice to say no."_

" _And you think that you've given me a choice?" Edward looked at the chains th_ _at were strung around his wrists._

 _Victoria nodded. "My choice to you, Edward Cullen, is this. We can continue_ _to tear at your mating bond through pain and blood. I will leave you here with nothing but a corpse as a body, in a barren land that will be nothing but your prison. You will never go home, never see color, never be truly alive, until you give in to me._

" _But," she said with a raised finger, "All of this can be over if you only set us both free. Two curses broken with one life._

 _Sacrifice Bella Swan."_

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But the words only continued to rattle around in Edward's magic-sodden mind as he pulled himself from another vision. He realized that Victoria had said the same words once: the matter of a choice.

But Bella spoke of a different choice. Edward realized how much he had been wallowing in his own self-pity to realize it.

Edward cared for Bella so much he had stripped her of choice. He had forced Bella to stay in the Spring Court, to stay quiet, to stay hidden. And even though he had done it for her own sake, and that he was just trying to keep her safe, he realized now, exactly what he had done to his own mate.

And he knew what he had to do to make it right.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Sorry it's a bit late. Tell me what you think. We're winding down to the end here :)**

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Edward let loose a breath as Bella left the dining room. And as Jasper turned to him, his friend gave him a skeptical look, "Well, what are you going to do now?"

Edward leaned back with a sigh, "I have to go and apologize. I just wasn't myself last night."

"Weren't you?" Jasper cocked a brow in disagreement, "I rather enjoyed seeing you as your true self. I forget just what Victoria took when she cursed us all, but I missed the old you."

Edward was silent.

He missed what it felt like to be in his Night form, but that male had been cocky and ignorant. And he would not make the same mistakes again.

"So are you still going through with it? Should I treat this as our last meal?" Jasper asked angrily.

Edward clenched his teeth, "When the time comes, I will let you know,"

"What was last night if nothing but proof that Victoria is not unstoppable. You broke through the curse, Edward."

"No one is unstoppable, but she is damn near it." Edward said, "We know the price is too high."

"Then stay and just don't pay it. If not for your friends, but for Bella."

"Bella needs no one but her family; she needs them back." Edward answered, "And everything I do now, is working towards restoring all the past mistakes I've made."

Jasper clenched his jaw, "You've always been this way. Why are you so eager to become a martyr?"

"My mother died for nothing." Edward said seriously, "At least I can live for something."

Standing and walking out of the dining room, he could feel Jasper's anger follow him down the hall.

Edward turned his attention to Bella. He didn't know how to reduce the damage he had done the night earlier, but he figured some flattery and maybe some flowers were the places to start.

So he followed her scent into the greenhouse to pick the roses himself, only to find Bella sketching on a nearby bench what appeared to be him, as a pig.

And even if his heart was heavy with the weight of his friend's grief and the impending sorrow he would feel when he gave himself to Victoria, the image of Bella sketching out her anger made a smile appear.

"I am so not in the mood, Jasper." Bella suddenly groaned. Edward gave her a wry smile when she turned to him. But there was only scorn on her face. And he wished for but to ease the knot between her brows.

"Hi," he said simply. He offered her the bouquet of roses from behind his back, and her gaze merely dropped to them.

"Hi," she answered stiffly.

"These are for you," he offered them, but the movement felt…wrong. He shouldn't be appeasing her with roses. He should be explaining all that had happened in the past few months. But even as he thought the words so many times before….the curse forbade him from revealing the truth.

"Is this what you think I want?" she quirked a brow.

Edward swallowed his gulp. Even if he and his mate were disconnected, he knew he had to be sincere to win her forgiveness.

"I just want you to be honest with me, Edward," she gestured with exasperation, "I know you can't tell me everything, but I still wish…" she dropped her hands in defeat, and let out a simple thank you and took the blooms. And the weight of them only felt deader as they left his hands.

"I should probably put them in water." Bella turned towards the exit, but he couldn't bear to watch her walk away again.

So with a snap, he made them vanish from her very hands,

"Where'd they go?" she looked at him warily.

"They're now in your room, in a vase full of water. Unless you want them back?"

Bella shook her head and looked at the drawing she held. And an instant later, she crumpled it in her hands.

"Huh," he chuckled, "That's quite the likeness. Can I keep this one also?"

"I would rather not be made fun of right now," she responded sullenly.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the mood a bit." He was used to their banter being so easy, but this was different. He had really hurt her this time.

She didn't answer.

"I guess I deserve that rather—unflattering drawing. And much, much more." He said instead. She shrugged, and he was acutely aware how much he was pushing his luck. Someone like her could only be fooled so many times.

"May I join you?" he asked gently.

She at least moved to the side, and Edward swallowed his magic before taking a seat.

But he still felt her steady heat; the reminder of what slumbered in her own veins. Last night was the first time Edward realized it for what it was: Bella had magic in her blood. And he could sense it would be powerful once unleashed.

But power such as that in a human was rare and would only be brought forth by strong feelings of fear or anger. So he would do best to stay on her good side unless he wanted to get burnt.

"Bella, it seems as though I only keep having to apologize to you," he murmured after a moment.

She scoffed, "All I keep doing is causing more and more trouble."

Edward paused. She thought last night was her fault?

"Either way," he eased, "I'm still sorry for that reminder about your home, and for what I did...last night." He barely pushed out the last words. Bella finally looked to him, which didn't help with the clarity of his thoughts.

"You don't deserve any of it, especially my temper," Edward continued, "And I would like to explain it to you; the source of my fears, and perhaps a couple of things you'd be surprised to hear about myself." He finished with a deep breath. This was the last promise he had made to himself: that when the time came, would explain what he could.

And this would be his last few days before he gave himself to Victoria.

"There are more than just a few things I don't know about you, Edward," she scoffed, "And more only seem to pile up each day."

He nodded solemnly, "But that's all going to change."

Bella blinked at him, apparently shocked that she was going to receive the only thing she had wanted this whole time.

"Would you join me, outside?" he said before standing, "It would probably be better to explain it out there." He said and her eyes lightened.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked with interest, and Edward couldn't help but reminisce at the better parts of the previous evening; being able to see her in color was the best gift he had received. And perhaps telling her the weight he bore would be the second.

"The starlight pond," he said finally.

Edward led them into the far corner of the greenhouse, Bella silently followed.

He pushed open the door that would lead them into the gardens, and she let out a gasp.

"Edward," She breathed from behind. And if he could memorize the sound of his name on her lips and bringing it with him, he would have, "Why'd you do it?" she stared up at him as he paused.

Edward allowed himself to look at her. How the sunlight called to the warmth in her features. And even if the earth was dead and barren as him, the time he had spent with her had brought him to life.

"I have my reasons," he said quietly. Bella rolled her eyes, but a smile was blooming, "I thought you said you were going to give me some real answers."

Edward laughed, as relief washed over him.

"In due time, I promise," he said, "I'd just rather tell you all of this outside just so you can't break anything valuable when you hear what I'm about to say."

"Or just to be dramatic," she gave him a pointed look as more happiness bloomed in his stomach. His mate knew him better than he thought. If only he could bottle the feeling up.

"That too," he shrugged.

"And honestly," she said, "I can't think of anything that you could say that would anger me to the point of breaking things."

"You mean more than a half-drunk faerie accosting you in a hallway?" he eyed her with wariness. She only gaped for a bit before quickly gathered herself.

"This better be good. I'm missing my lessons with Jasper," she grumbled.

"I can't promise it'll be better than that," but it will be interesting, that's for sure," Edward said as they reached the only living thing in the entire court.

Her head swiveled with a look of wonder as her eyes went to the starlight pond. Edward wondered what she was thinking at that moment. Because all that was on his mind was her. With anyone else, his mind would drift and worry, but she gave him a sense of peace. And after he left, he would never feel it again…

"I come here when it becomes unbearable to be like this," he said quietly. It felt odd to be talking of the curse. He could feel the magic itself pushing the words back down his throat. Nevertheless, he continued.

"Do you hate it?" she asked. He turned to see her eyes soft, and Edward wished they could forever remain that way; warm and open.

"You know," he said, "My mother would have this way of easing my thoughts into words when I was a child. She would share one thought, perhaps what she was thinking or feeling at the moment, then ask me to share one in return. And it would continue like that until we had worked out whatever problem I was having."

Bella stared up at him, and Edward wisely chose not to tell her just why his mother had to work so hard to get him to speak. Once he discovered he could read minds as a boy, the constant noise never stopped. But his mother somehow knew how to quiet the chaos. Maybe he could work out the chaos between he and Bella as well.

"Do you want me to do that? Share a thought for a thought?" she asked warily.

He shrugged when he saw the way her brows bunched. Then again, both of them had a way of keeping themselves closed off to each other. Edward didn't remember a day when he could just say what was on his mind. There was always scheming or strategy behind his words.

When he was young, Edward had to watch what he said around his father and brothers in fear they would see him for what he was; a bastard.

During the war, Edward couldn't sound too weak or wary in fear of lowering the men's morale. And finally, when Victoria put Edward under her spell, it took everything in him not to scream for it to end.

And now, here he was, with the only person besides Jasper that could understand what Edward felt….

And the curse forbade him from speaking any of it.

"I brought you here for a very different reason, Bella." he said before glanced at her, "Although I wouldn't mind hearing what's in that head, for once." She darkened a bit at his words. But perhaps it was a gift that he couldn't completely see into Bella's mind. Edward knew what it was like to have privacy broken and trust misused.

But still, she remained an enigma he couldn't crack.

But Bella's sharp inhale brought him from his thoughts before she stated firmly, "I have wanted your mouth on my skin long before Antearrach." Bella was careful to keep her gaze from him. Edward might not have been breathing as she continued.

"I didn't mind it one bit what happened last night."

Well. Perhaps Bella wasn't as mysterious as he thought. She had wanted him, just the same.

But could Edward give in to himself and grant Bella what she wanted, only to leave her forever? Would it break her the way it would surely break him?

"A thought for a thought," she said when at last their eyes met, "Now it's your turn."

"You probably don't want to repeat things like that," Edward huffed out a breath, "At least not right now, if we have any hope of me getting through what I want to tell you."

' _And because it could never happen.'_

Bella looked away, clearly embarrassed at what she admitted.

Edward only cleared his throat, as he took a seat beside her, "I can't see color, Bella."

Her head whipped his way, and he let out a long breath. He felt how the spell's magic sought to choke the air from his lungs.

"I can't see any color." Edward felt weak for what he would admit next. That of all Victoria had done, the worst was that she had turned his own body into a desensitized prison.

"I can't see the green of the grass, the blue of the sky. I know what color they _should_ be, but all I see are shades of gray. Because of the damned blight, that _sickness,"_ Edward couldn't even say the word _curse_ out loud.

"It's drained me that much, as well as each member of my court."

Bella was silent for a moment, "Edward, I'm so sorry." The gentle sound of her voice had a way of making him feel a bit stronger.

"I know it could be worse," he said under his breath, "We could be starving, there could be an actual plague. But some days it just becomes too much."

"For years, what I wished for every day was just being able to see the color of the sky. To never see a sunset in nearly fifty years—I thought that was the worst of it."

He finally looked at her, and the gravity of her eyes hit him like a storm. "Until you came."

She didn't say a word, somehow sensing that he needed to get it out without interruption.

"Not being able to see what color your eyes were, or to see how the light touched your hair," He clenched his jaw remembering what it had been like to see her with clear eyes and a clear head. Last night, he had gotten a taste of what paradise could have been with her.

"It was agonizing," He finished.

Bella swallowed. And of all the things he expected to come out of her mouth, "Well, you can put your wondering to rest," was the last thing he thought.

Bella gestured to herself with slight disdain, "My hair isn't the color of the setting sun or the flames of a burning fire. My eyes aren't like jewels or the color of stormy seas, or whatever you men like to describe them as, " she shrugged. "They're just a ruddy brown; both eyes and hair. Nothing special."

Edward wondered how she could ever think such a thing. But he didn't know what to say or how to convey what he saw in her. To him, she was as blinding as the setting sun. And he had come to know her to be as strong as a raging fire.

He just gave her a small smile and took a lock of her hair.

"What?" she finally asked. He only hummed to himself as he turned to her eyes. And he waited until she looked like she was on the edge of her seat until he concluded,

"No, it's not ruddy at all," he tucked the hair behind her ear as if it was the most natural thing to do. But Edward was still aware of how close they suddenly were; so close, he could capture her lips without another thought. And this time, his head would be his own.

"Even in black and white, I can see that your eyes are the richest color in all the world. Dark and warm, just like you," he said with a final smile.

She scoffed and glanced to the pond. But Edward tugged her chin towards him.

"Believe me," Edward was shocked she didn't pull away, "Darkness is just as crucial as light. It's powerful and mysterious. And to tell you the truth. I much prefer it."

How many times had his father wanted Edward to be just like the rest of them? But even as they claimed to be Lords of Light, Edward saw each and every one of them for what they were. And after a while of hating himself for being different, he learned to make friends with the darkness.

But Bella didn't look too convinced, "This comes from a male who looks like the embodiment of a spring day."

It was an effort not to laugh. If only Bella knew it was all a fabrication, "Appearances aren't everything, Bella." He paused, "Although I must admit, yours is especially enchanting."

She finally blushed, and he was glad to have made her smile a bit.

"And some day, I will prove that to you," He promised.

Eventually, she would come to know herself like he knew her. But for now, he was taken by the way her cheeks bloomed, "How I wish I could see the color of your skin—" His thoughts became blurry as he brushed his thumb against her mouth. And his beast purred in recognition "–your lips," he said huskily.

He could grow lost in her if he gave himself a chance. He would explore everything that made Bella. And he knew an eternity wouldn't even be enough.

"Edward," she whispered suddenly. He flicked his eyes to see her gaze had turned unworldly. She was like a siren calling to every desire in his body.

"Bella," he answered, equally star-struck by whatever he was feeling; damn the stars, he was struck by her.

His skin was tingling although he had yet to touch her. And his un-beating heart expanded with how much he loved her. He loved her strength and beauty so much it made him wonder how he could ever deserve her.

Bella had remained resilient to all that had happened in her life, and she somehow managed to keep her caring heart through it all. She was remarkable, and he couldn't bear holding back any longer.

So he spoke the words that could ruin it all…

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Some clarifications need to be given. If you haven't read ACOBAB, disregard what I'm about to say. But if you have, I want you to know I tweaked James' character. So if you ever go back and read ACOBAB chapter 14 or read this chapter, don't think you're remembering things incorrectly. James is still a character, but in accordance to the ACODAD's Spring Festival chapter, and Sarah J Maas' sequel, I changed it. Hopefully you can still enjoy.**

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Edward held his breath as Bella's eyes fluttered up to his. And her gaze alone, told him his answer.

 _Yes._

He swore the word reverberated within his soul. Bella seemed to be as dazed as they both held their breath when at last—Edward finally tasted her lips.

It was if the skies parted and the sun was burning a hole through his chest. It felt like, at last, his soul had clicked into place. And the string holding it together was her soft gasps and urging touch. That was what it felt like to finally be kissing her.

Because Bella was doing just that. She melted into the kiss with her mouth, yet her hands demanded more. And he would give it to her.

Edward weaved his hands at the nape of her neck, the soft sigh making his skin raise. And even if he was finally holding her the way he had dreamed for nights on end, he wanted more.

And Bella was anything but a bystander. She was an equal worth waiting for as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her lips moved in a way that told Edward she wanted this as much as he.

So he tentatively ran his tongue along her mouth as his magic started to swirl around them. The mist seeped from his pores and whispered along her skin. And he could feel her magic do the same.

And then a spark cracked between them; her magic reacting with his own. And it ignited Bella into a frenzy.

She dug her fingers into his hair with fervor, and he couldn't help but groan at the sheer command in her grip. Bella was in full control now. And instead of the thought causing Edward to pull back, he found relief in handing himself over. He would allow himself to be vulnerable to her; but only her.

Bella hummed in agreement as she tugged at his head to angle his mouth to her liking. And he smiled under her kiss before pulling her into his lap. Bella's breathing hitched from the action, but her being seated over him only reaffirmed what Edward already knew: he was hers, heart and soul.

As their lips moved in unison, and their breathing became one, it suddenly became clear what Edward had had been put on this world for. And with each touch and taste, it was made more concrete that his one cause was to make her happy.

And damn him if he wouldn't keep to that promise.

He dragged his hands from her neck down her slender waist until he was holding her behind. And even if Bella wasn't producing visible flames, he sure felt the fire burning from her skin when he held her against him.

"I've wanted this in my hands for ages," he finally spoke. And he gave her behind a firm squeeze to tell her just what he meant.

Bella let out a husky laugh, and the sound brushed against his groin. He wondered if she felt just what she was doing to him. But at the same time, Edward was being careful to keep their hips separated. Because one wrong move, he would give into the desire.

"Good to know you only want me for one thing." Her eyes were sparked with heat, and all he could do was stare as Edward slid his thumb to her lips. Her mouth was red and swollen from his kisses. He had done that; he had caused that hooded look in her eyes, he had brought a flush to her skin. And the thought made more blood rush downwards.

"No, there is _so_ much more to you, Bella." he said truthfully before whispering in her ear, "And I intend to explore every inch." Even if he had to forgo his promise and leave her in this life. He would keep his vow in the next life and beyond.

Because Edward knew more than anything, was that he would find her again. In every universe and every parallel, he would search for a millennium if that meant seeing that smile one more time.

But then and there, on their little slice together earth, she had made him happy.

Edward pulled back to see her gaze grow distant with desire. And he swore heat was rolling off of her in waves. Her invisible fire caressed his cool mist and made his head spin in a way that was equal to their mouths touching. And if kissing Bella was making him this drunk, then what would it have been like if they ventured further; what would happen if they allowed their magic and bodies to merge entirely?

Edward was sure it would crack his world in half.

So he did just that.

He was careful to go slow when he tasted her throat with his lips. She offered more to him with the backwards tilt of her head, and it was hard to reign in his growl.

Even if she was human and he Fae, what Bella had unknowingly offered herself in the rawest of terms.

And if Edward had had his canines, he could have bitten and claimed her then and there. He could have sunk his teeth there and left his mark, then every male would know she was taken.

But even if he had his un-cursed body, he would not do that to her.

He was leaving them all; he was leaving her.

And Edward wanted to Bella to have a life after him. Even if she was his mate, above all, he wanted her to find another to give her life she wanted.

"As much as I want to stay like this with you," he swallowed back his arousal, "I actually brought you out here for a far different reason."

She didn't answer, and his eyes went to the thrumming under her skin. What would it be like just to taste? And as weak as he was, he allowed himself just that one time, to drag his teeth over where the life blood beat under her skin.

Bella let out a soft moan, "Really? What could be better than this?" His chest expanded at her voice; not to mention something else in his trousers as well.

And as Edward pulled back to center himself, she only pulled him deeper under with a full kiss. He groaned into her mouth as she wrapped delicate hands around his face. And he realized how he was spiraling in a tornado he never wanted to be free of. But if they remained that way with her tangled up in him; Edward would take her up against a damned tree.

"Bella," he warned, "If we stay like this a moment longer, I won't be able to stop myself from ravishing you completely."

She angled her head with a smile; seeming to say that that it didn't sound too bad to her.

"Yes, I know," Edward chuckled before he chastely touched his lips to hers. Never would he have enough. But he gently retracted himself all the same.

"What is it?" she asked.

Edward took a steadying breath, "I brought you here to explain why I had to take you from your home. And I'm afraid of what you'll think of me, of my kind, when I tell you."

He had forgotten all of it. The way he had almost given Bella to Victoria when he was at his lowest. Perhaps his shame or trauma had kept it repressed until now. But she deserved to know it as he.

"I had an inkling you did." Bella nodded as she slid from his lap. And immediately, he missed her warmth. "But I promise I won't break anything when you tell me," she offered him a small smile and he gave his own tentative one. He knew she would regret those words later.

But Edward still took a deep breath and prepared for her to hate him forever.

"There are things I haven't told you for a reason. Things I want to explain, but can't," he said.

"Because of my safety, or because I won't understand?" she asked.

"That might have been my reasoning in the beginning," he gave a wry laugh, "But now I want you to know all of it. But some things I can't reveal, no matter how much I might want to."

"What do you mean?" she blinked, "Why wouldn't you be able to tell me?"

"Because the—blight," He couldn't even use the word; always had to talk in riddles. It was exhausting. "It's more than a sickness on our lands. It was an act of war, meant to weaken and control. Control me from even being able to tell you it's true nature." He felt how the curse was only allowing him to speak in vague terms, but he pushed on.

"So it's more of a curse?" Bella said.

Edward reigned in his relief with a nod. She was ever so clever. If only she knew that if she dug deeper, Bella would know the full length of such a curse. That her blood and his were tied together, and only one life given without the other could break it.

"Then what can be done about it?" she asked gently. And Edward thought how it never ceased to amaze him how understanding Bella could be in her circumstances. Any other would have gone mad not knowing, but she was always careful to take into account Edward's own comfort.

"I can't tell you," he said, "It's effects forbid me from even speaking too much about it. But what I can say is that you were brought here for a reason." The words nearly got caught in his throat.

Bella only let out a deep sigh, "Well, I have to say, that is not overly helpful."

"I know it isn't, but I needed you to know that what your father told you was true." Edward took a deep breath, knowing that she might hate him if Bella ever knew the whole story. That Edward had been weak enough to try steal her for his own gain. The guilt washed over him a wave.

"It wasn't Charlie's fault, not at all," he said, "I tricked him by persuading him that he would be a terrible father not to allow you a better life. And if he didn't accept, that you would eventually be killed anyways."

He watched her face grow hard, but she was still sitting and listening, which he figured was a good thing.

Edward had done several terrible things in his life. But betraying himself that night he was almost about to sacrifice his mate, was the worst of all.

She only swallowed before gathering her thoughts, "You didn't trick anyone, Edward, it was the truth. You once told me that my family was taken care of, that doesn't sound like a trick to me."

Her words only caused more guilt. But he was about to atone for every one of his sins: as soon as Victoria signed the contract and lifted the curse, he would pay for each and every one.

"Yes, they were sent an anonymous check that reinstated all the money your father lost when his investments crashed all those years ago. They're living quite well, actually." Edward said instead.

"Thank you," she whispered. "But—I've always wondered how you knew about my family's history, about the downfall."

Edward went cold. This was it, he would have to tell her what he had almost done.

"I knew your father, Bella. Just after you were born, I knew our lives were bound to be intertwined in some way, but I haven't been able to find the courage to tell you properly. To tell you in a way that wouldn't make you resent me, or resent being here."

"What do you mean our lives were bound to be intertwined? How could you have known?" she asked.

"I can't tell you exactly how. As we speak, I feel the... curse pushing me away from the act of explaining it to you." He breathed deeply, and he saw how his hesitation was making her worried.

"Okay, well, could you just point me in the right direction?" Bella asked instead.

"I've had to become a person I don't like because of this sickness," he lowered his head, "Even if it's for the sake of my people, it's still hard to keep up this act. I can't risk all of that, even now."

"What act?" her eyes widened, and he could feel all of t slipping away. Everything he had built about himself would be gone in an instant when she found out.

"The strict, sullen High Lord of the Spring Court that has no real court, it's not really me, Bella. And that will only get worse after last night."

She grew warier with each word he spoke, "If you didn't couple with anyone, what will happen now?"

"The land will have to slowly grow into spring, as in your continent. But the yields will not be nearly as high, and cause poverty for faeries who rely on the land." He wanted to give the people one last chance, but he couldn't even do that.

"And I'm sure a lot of them are not going to be too happy because of it. So I'm going to try to ease everyone's worries by going into their towns to promise compensation, and protection, as usual. Hopefully, it will appease them."

"Then why did you do it? If you knew it would cause so much distress, why didn't just go through with everything?" she asked the magic question.

"Do I really need to explain that after what just happened? It was because of you, Bella." he said solemnly.

"Yes, I gathered that," her face heated a bit, "But even though I am grateful you didn't do it—you still don't owe me anything, Edward," she dimly looked to herself, "Me, the disposable human, compared to the livelihood of your people surely... " she trailed off.

Edward held back all the things he could have told her without the curse. That she was perhaps the most important person in the world when it came to the livelihood of him and his people. But all Edward managed to say was feeble in comparison.

"Don't ever say you're disposable, that you're not _worth_ anything, Bella. You might have been told that before, but I'm here to make sure that never happens again." he promised. After he left and the curse was lifted, Edward had instructed Jasper to give Bella the entire explanation: that she had saved him when he thought he was un-savable. And he was going to repay the favor.

But the words had sunken their atmosphere. And he rushed it off with a cool shrug of his shoulders.

"Good," he gave her a hopeful smile, "Now, we should probably get going for I have faeries to appease, and you have some self-defense lessons to attend."

He helped her upright, and her touch alone reminded him what they had just done.

Bella merely shrugged, "It's really become more of an excuse for Jasper to do his best to annoy me, rather than actual lessons. But I guess he's not so bad."

Edward laughed, "I was right then, and I'm right now. You sure have given him a run for his money." He was happy her and Jasper had become close. Bella would need each friend after he left. But her life would go on and flourish without him, and that's all that mattered.

It would go on.

And the one thought that kept him going, beyond his regrets and shame of his past mistakes, was that he hoped she was at least happy to have met him. That their little slice of forever together, was worth all the pain that brought them together.

And as they walked back to the castle in comfortable silence, and every so often her shoulder would brush his arm. His chest heaved with the attraction between them. And he knew nothing would ever compare to it again. Not if he was granted a thousand other lives, would Edward find another like her.

But he prayed to the Gods Bella would soon forget him. She deserved to be loved and cherished by another, even if he could not.

But when they finally reached the shadow of castle, Edward broke the silence.

"Perhaps when I'm done with my duties today, I could join you two and help you practice swordplay." he glanced own to her. His last wish, no matter how many times he told himself it would be, would be able to see how she had grown from that weak frailty into solid strength.

"Oh?" Bella answered, and he wondered if she remembered the last time they practiced together. Another happy memory Edward would keep locked away forever.

"Maybe I could even give you some hands-on tips," he offered lightly; not wanting to force anything upon her. But he would take every minute of remaining time he had. Jasper would accuse him of purposely stringing out his time with her, and his friend would be right.

"What kind of tips?" her voice dropped lower, and Edward suddenly realized what he had insinuated. Bella was flirting with him.

He dampened his growl.

"Ones that require _a lot_ of practice." Edward was eager to play along. And he noticed how her mouth popped open, and a thick tension suddenly hung between them.

"What kind of practice?" Bella's voice was airy, but her eyes were heavy.

Edward allowed himself to look at her fully. She was confident and unyielding, and he smiled, "Oh I promise to take a very _long_ and in-depth approach to our time together, Bella."

If he could do nothing else, he could give her the promise of his words. He wanted her to know this was real. Every spark and feeling between them had been more real than he could have ever hoped.

But someone else spoke as they entered the back of the castle, "Sorry to interrupt," Jasper announced when they reached the front foyer.

"Really, Jasper?" Edward grumbled under his breath to his friend. But he was aware that Bella had probably heard.

"Yes, sorry. It's not like I wanted to, but I think you want to be aware when I tell you what I just heard." Everything between him and Bella went silent when he saw the tautness in his friend's features. Something was wrong.

"What is it?" Edward ran a shaky hand through his hair with anticipation. He could feel Bella go quiet next to him as she glanced to him and Jasper. She sensed something was awry as well.

"I was just told that—"

It was then, that an unmistakable wind opened the front door with a crash. And Edward knew that magic, he knew it deep as his bones. It commanded his attention from his mind to his body. And as they all turned towards the force that entered the caste, Edward saw the last person he expected to see.

Himself.

It wasn't the gray faced male he had avoided in so many mirrors. No, this was face Edward had spent centuries seeing. Dark hair that sucked every ounce of light, green eyes he only ever saw in the portrait in his study. They were the eyes his mother had loved as much as the northern sky. And now they were staring at him in mischief.

How was this possible? Somehow a pretender was using everything Victoria had taken decades to extract from him. And what he had to counter such a threat was his sick gray body and a few droplets of power that Bella had brought forth.

And Edward was truly scared.

And the only thing that told Edward he wasn't going straight out of his mind was that Jasper and Bella was looking at the male with the same wide eyes. She saw the confusion in his friend's gaze, but most importantly, he saw the recognition in Bella's eyes.

She had seen that face and magic just last night when Edward had been set free. And he was suddenly hit with the irony of it all.

Then Edward heard a voice slip into his mind.

' _Hello, Edward. Did you miss me?'_

There was a split second when he wondered if this was Victoria's final trick as she used his body as her puppet, but then he recognized the voice that hid under the facade.

"James." Edward drawled, careful to hide his surprise. James had been a member of his father's old court. And he was as slimy as he was smart. He had gained the reputation of aligning himself with whoever was most powerful at the time, so it only took a few seconds to realize he must have aligned with the witch.

Which meant everything Edward said would be brought back to Victoria.

Edward racked his brain for why the witch would have given James his own magic to use. Power like could have easily been used against her, so why?

The first thought was that, of course the pair would be wicked enough to taunt Edward with his own face. Yet beyond the shock, Edward remembered the most important shock of all.

James could also read minds.

Just like Edward, he was one of the rare Fae that possessed the skill to reach into minds and control at their will. And if Victoria made James powerful enough to wear Edward's form, then James was quite capable of breaking into any head he wished.

And Bella might as well have been vulnerable as a lost lamb.

 _Stand up straight._ Edward silently ordered her on pure instinct.

Whatever remaining power had, no matter how it weakened him, Edward funneled it into breaking past the wall between them and into her mind.

It was a formidable barrier that Victoria had built in his mate's mind. But he had to do it before James had the chance.

Edward didn't yet know why the male was there, but if he knew just whom Bella was, and what she meant to the grand scheme, James would take her to Victoria in an instant.

 _Play along,_ Edward said to Jasper as his friend remained frozen. But Bella was staring at the male like she had stared at Edward the night of Antearrach.

Not good.

Her eyes were glazed over as she angled her head in confusion. And Edward had no choice but watch in horror as his mate was subconsciously drawn to another.

 _Look as bored as possible._ Edward said instead, _Think about nothing._ But she only drew closer as James her a once over. And a smile spread across his face.

It was a smile Edward had used too many times in his life. It was a smile that made females swoon and his enemies shudder at the same time.

Damn Edward for giving in on Antearrach. Now Bella's attraction towards him was only serving as a weakness.

But Bella seemed to gather enough wits to withdraw her gaze. And she even went as much as to take a step towards Edward. He let out a breath in relief.

' _Good,'_ he praised silently, ' _Keep thinking about nothing, about anything else than your life here.'_

Bella obeyed with dull eyes, but Edward could still tell she was vulnerable and star-struck by the magic alone. Perhaps she had no choice. For Victoria admitted openly, she had bent and melded the bond between Bella and Edward.

And with one glance at James, he knew why.

All at once, Edward understood the grand plan, and how utterly stupid he had been for falling for it all.

The witch had planned each move, every step she took a calculated choice to become the most powerful Fae in history.

And it all began Edward refused her.

He could have easily given in to the torture and said he loved Victoria. It would have broken the curse the witch claimed to have been under. And it would have saved him the pain of having his power be slowly drained from him. And only a deeper magic could have kept him from giving in; this power that was able to keep Edward from the brink was so strong that it must have been woven by the Gods themselves.

The mating bond.

Edward's thoughts were spiraling into one another as he put all the visions, all the timelines together. Curses and Fire-drakes collided as he realized that Victoria had used it all to reveal something neither of them knew.

Edward had a mate.

And not just any mate. Victoria must have known that a mate to the most powerful Fae in the world had to be powerful in her own right. Perhaps powerful enough to make the witch the almightiest force in their world.

That's Victoria had left Edward with only a bit more until the curse ran out. She had timed it when Bella was about to come of age. Victoria knew Edward would drive himself into a pit of despair after she offered his freedom through Bella's sacrifice as an infant.

And then, when he was at his lowest, and in his own pit of despair as his land was near desolation, Victoria sent a messenger that Bella was in danger.

She knew Edward would retrieve her then. How could he not save her in his own desperation to save himself?

Victoria knew that he would grow to love her; so profoundly that he would do anything to save his mate from the fate that was destined for her, even as far as his own sacrifice in her name.

And Edward had played right into Victoria's hand.

He himself had seen though the recent weeks, how Bella was growing into her own power. That his mate, in her own right was becoming a force to be reckoned with. After all, when Edward was dead and gone, where would Victoria leach her power from?

And now, when Bella was at her most powerful, and he at his weakest, Victoria could take it all.

And James just smiled like he knew every thought at it flew through Edward's mind.

"What do we have here, another toy that Edward has ensnared?" James said instead; angling his head as Bella blinked in a daze.

Edward clenched his teeth together to see his mate fall under the spell. But Edward would have to move past his horror and try to undo every mistake he had made if Bella was to live.

"It's none of your business, but yes. She's a little thing I picked up from the human realm." Edward shrugged. And his shoulders lowered to say the words. So many years of calculations with his father and as a war commander. And none of it had prepared him for this.

But he was going to fight his hardest to keep everything he had fought for. Bella would not be taken as he was. She would never be caged.

 _Not true,_ he said in Bella's head an instant later, _'All lies. Keep acting bored. Think dull thoughts, and this will be over soon.'_

He hoped it would be over soon. Because he had not been that scared in his entire life. Victoria had sorely outsmarted them. Everything she did was a cold calculated step to get Edward to bow and allow Bella to be vulnerable for the taking.

Victoria hungered for power and nothing else.

"No," James stated blandly. And Edward saw then how drunk the male had become on his power. "Ah, now I see what all the fuss is about." James strode closer to Bella, his grace something Edward recognized. "Edward, it seems has found himself—"

"Keep your mouth shut." Jasper finally stepped forward. But he saw how his friend looked to Edward. He had come to the same conclusion he had.

"Look what a bore you've become, Edward." James tsked as he kept his eyes on Bella. But the words, as they came out of his mouth Edward knew it was something he would say. And his mate was helpless against them.

And he saw then how Victoria had mangled the bond between him and Bella.

No matter her feelings towards Edward, his mate couldn't deny the power. And the worst part was that the witch had fabricated it all; had manipulated and tricked all so she could tear through what would have been the most powerful couple in the world.

It seemed Victoria had thought of it all.

"You and your friends are no fun at all." James spoke on, finally looking away from Bella. Edward gave a hesitant glance towards her, only to see her let out a breath of relief.

"Perhaps if you came home, you could be your old self instead of keeping up this charade you've created." James kept talking like he liked the old sound of his voice. Well technically, it was Edward's old voice.

But he would not take this lying down. He felt his remaining power bubble forth in defiance. And Bella noticed.

 _Easy,_ he warned her _If you're not careful, he will see your thoughts. Keep them dull; keep them boring._

"What do you want, James." Edward said instead, "Are you now her messaging pigeon?"

James just shrugged. And it was like Edward was looking at his old self. "I simply want what she wants. For you to come back, and accept her offer."

"And why would I do that when there's nothing in it for me?" Edward could play the game if it meant Bella was safe. The thought made his dark mist reverberate in challenge. And Edward wondered what would happen if he wedged his way into James' mind. Perhaps then he could take his magic back that Victoria had stolen.

But then he heard Bella's own thoughts. She was confused what was happening. She was wondering what she was feeling and seeing was real or not….

' _Stop it Bella. Stop thinking._ He ordered a bit harder than he would have liked. _Think of those woods behind your house, think of hunger, think of emptiness.'_

James smiled then, "What do you mean? You would be home, wouldn't you? Is that not enough?"

Edward felt bile rise in his throat. Since Victoria had left nineteen years ago, he had wondered where the witch had gone. He assumed she had fled back to her old, strange continent to do nothing and waited for the curse to run out and to gain her prize.

But James had just revealed that Victoria was not living in her own gods forsaken continent, but Edward's old home.

Oh Gods, he could only imagine the bloodshed when she took it over. Victoria was a conqueror, beyond everything. And she would not share the Night Court with its people. There would be no survivors.

Edward felt like he was going to be sick.

"Not since she ripped our magic from us for her own gain," Edward let his anger resonate. The Night Court was the one of the only things he had. And Victoria had taken it from him like everything else.

"Is that why you stay?" James said with a knowing glint in his eyes. He knew it was getting to Edward to see his old form. He hadn't seen himself in fifty years, and it was daunting to say the least.

"To be closer to the human realm; to try and save them?" James nodded towards Bella. "And look what you've found. Such a prize indeed."

Edward took a step in front of Bella, but James only froze Edward in his place. And he could feel his own power work against him as his muscles locked into place.

It was just how Victoria had pinned him to that cell those years she tortured him. Everything Edward had been before the curse, was now fighting against him.

"Ah, ah, ah," James tsked, "You may have been the most powerful High Lord of all time, Edward, but sadly, she took that title from you as easily as a spell."

James smiled like he had won, and the last remaining gall Edward had made him answer,

"Then you'll find that your mistress can't take everything from me that easily." Because even if the witch had taken his very essence of himself. Victoria did not have his heart.

"We'll see." James merely shrugged, "I'll tell her what I found here, and don't think she won't want to know more."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Edward bit, "Now go home, James. I bet the Night Court is just falling apart without you." It was the last blow Edward could give. He hoped James rotted in hell for betraying his home so severely.

Edward felt a pang of horror hit his mind, and with one glance towards Bella's wide eyes, he knew why.

Bella was well read on their histories, and Edward knew how the Night Court had its reputation to be cruel and unforgiving. But like any court, it was at the mercy of its Lord. But either way, Bella had just discovered that Edward was a part of it.

"Not as much as they're falling apart without you." James chuckled, sending back the dig Edward had just fired. It was Edward's fault his court was in pieces. "You must return soon, Edward. We all miss our High Lord." he winked, and then he was gone in a flash.

"Prick," Jasper spat with the release of his shoulders. Edward hadn't noticed until then, but James had frozen his friend so Jasper couldn't move.

Edward groaned, "I forgot how much of a joy he was," James had always been jealous of Edward's power. Like him, James was a bastard of the Night Court, but far less powerful.

And it seemed like his hunger for control had made the fool align with Victoria. "But he, despite his fear-mongering, just revealed the final plan." Edward finished. It was finally over, and Edward had gained more than he lost.

"Who was that?" Bella finally shouted. Edward shared a look with Jasper before he turned to her.

"James, a one-time acquaintance of mine. And I take it you have questions about what he said. About the Night Court." Edward eyed her warily. Had she put it together that he had been in her mind?

"I do, but—but was he insinuating what I thought he was?" Bella asked.

But Jasper just asked, "Do you think he believed you, about Bella just being your pet?" the next words were spoken through thought, ' _Does he know Bella is the key to everything?'_

But Edward was distracted when Bella flinched. Jasper eased his voice then,

"I didn't mean it like that, Bella. It was just a lie to deter our enemies. Well, if you could call James our enemy. He's really just a—"

"James isn't the real problem," he cut off Jasper with a stern look. The last thing they needed to explain was Edward's messy family tree, "He's just a little bit jealous now a days. It's _her_ who is the real pain in my ass."

Jealous is right; both James and the witch were run by it. But Edward never knew Victoria to go so low as to give his power to another and use it completely against him. But then again, beyond her trickster ways, perhaps Edward's full power was too much for Victoria to handle alone. Gods knew how his magic took a toll.

"Victoria," Jasper nearly choked out the name.

"Who's Victoria?" Bella looked between them. Jasper thankfully answered so Edward didn't have to,

"Victoria is a Fae from another land. She comes from a place of strong magic. For some reason after the 500-year war, she aligned herself with the Spring Court in name of peace. But what no one knew was her lust for power."

Edward's eyes finally settled on Bella, and he beseeched her to understand.

"The blight," she murmured, "It's because of her."

"We aren't even allowed to speak of it in correlation to her. It's part of the sickness she's spread." Edward felt his shoulders ease. Bella finally knew. But it was only the fraction of their problem.

But beyond James' arrogance and ego, he hadn't noticed that Edward had slowly been taking his power back.

And he felt the well finally replenish itself. Bella had been the catalyst and he only needed the source. And he would only use it for good this time around.

Bella's eyes widened when she saw his mist turn tangible; the dark power she had sensed from James no given to its rightful owner.

"Even though she's drained all your power it doesn't matter because you're not High Lord of the Spring Court, are you," she stated more than asked.

"No," Edward said, "I thought she had taken most of my power, but not all of it. Sorry, I had to lie to you. But I've had to lie to so many people."

He had been raised his whole life to lie. When his mother told him his true parentage, he had to hide it for fear of his life. His bloodline was strong, and if anyone knew he was a possible heir to the most powerful throne in all the world, he would be hunted for the rest of his life.

 _You're damned right you should be sorry._ He heard her snap through her mind. And Bella's gaze told him enough; that she was hurt from all of the deceit.

 _I know, and I'm sorry._ Edward answered.

"Well. Now that you know," he felt his chest lift with grief of so many decades. But no more, "I might as well give into the monster."

His beast cheered in agreement, ' _Finally,'_ And with one final flash, he let the magic unleash.

He sighed in relief as it all bubbled forth. But he felt another power pulsating besides his.

Bella.

Edward turned to see her sizing him up; but she seemed unknowing that she was calling to him in the most innate of ways.

Jasper only let loose a chuckle. "Really Edward, must you do that now? We have bigger things to deal with than your showing off." but he saw how Jasper's eyes softened. He was happy for his friend who finally, broke past the cage.

Edward made a show of stretching his shoulders, a whisper of the swirling dark lacing through his fingers before they doused completely out of sight. "It feels good not to have to hide it anymore." And even if he tried and failed to defeat Victoria, at least he knew he would hand himself over to the flames of the next world as nothing but his true self.

"If you're really High Lord of the Night Court, then how can you govern Spring Court? I've never read of such a thing happening." Bella asked.

"That's because it hasn't." Jasper shrugged.

Edward looked at her to see her brows pulled in confusion before saying, "I have a rather…unusual bloodline. Its stronger than even my father, perhaps even more powerful than all the High Lords put together." His mother had explained it before: that when she refused her abusive mate and gave into love instead…. love with the Lord of Night against the light, she defied the Gods themselves. Created, was something the world had never seen before; a mix of good and evil, and the power that came with the ruling halves of the world. And Edward was that combination.

But Edward was choosing to be bad. Too many years of thinking he was choosing for the right people only pushed him farther into the ground. And no more would he sacrifice his own happiness.

Jasper chuckled as he nodded towards Edward, "You can see he has self-confidence issues."

Bella smiled, and Edward felt like she saw past the gray skin and black eyes and just saw _him._ And no matter what he became, his comfort was that she would always see him as Edward.

Bella folded her arms at him. "Although I can't help but agree with Jasper, how is it that you can govern the Spring and Night Court?" she asked.

"We should probably sit down for this conversation."

So much scheming and treachery had led him to this point. His childhood he had been taught to crave power, and as a teenager he learned just what cost it came with. Victoria had taken every bit of payment from him those thirty years of torture.

But would Bella take honesty as her payment for treating her like he had?

"Afraid I might break something?" Bella teased slightly. He was more afraid her powers would finally surface and she would burn them all to ashes.

He smirked, "Something like that."

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 **A/N Tell me what you think! I again, apologize for any confusion in accordance to ACOBAB and Bella's story. But for myself, and in light of where this story has taken me, I wanted to explore everything Edward's complex journey offers. I hope you still enjoyed. Thanks :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Hey everyone! I am aware that the last chapter had a lot of errors. I tried to give you guys an update, both without a Beta and a proof reader installed on my word processor and classes starting. Sorry if it was hard to read. I will revise and repost chapter 16 as soon as possible. Thanks**

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Edward took a steadying breath; for if not, his head might as well have exploded. There were now so many cards on the table, and in order to keep Bella safe, he would have to anticipate Victoria and James' moves when it seemed as if they held all of the aces.

"Where's Jasper going?" Bella's careful voice led him from the consuming thoughts.

"He's going to follow James and make sure he was bluffing when he threatened that Victoria was coming after you," Edward answered.

He could only hope that it was all an act to scare and drive them into fear. With fear came panic, and with panic came mistakes, and Edward knew Victoria would try to capitalize on it. But Edward could not make another when Bella was concerned.

"Why would she come after me?" Bella looked up at him, and it was an effort not to take her and fly far away. But then he would doom Jasper and Alice, not to mention all the people he governed.

So he only nodded to his study as he opened the door, "Because you're close to me and that makes you a target." Edward went quiet when he saw how Bella paled. Well, at least he knew she was still human because only an idiot would underestimate a pair like Victoria and James.

But Edward was done underestimating. Every move he made from now on would have to be infinitely more calculated than the last. And the more he looked at his mate, the more he knew he was going to have to do something he never wanted to. He was going to have to risk Bella's happiness for the sake of her safety ... and send her home.

"Would you like anything to eat?" He asked quickly. Edward sometimes forgot that Bella had needs; human needs.

"No thank you," she answered, but was wary to keep her eyes from him as she sat down. Her gaze was confused as she took in the clutter of the study. Usually, Edward liked to keep it neat and tidy, but the past two chaotic weeks of trying to find loopholes to the curse had created a mess.

His magic recoiled at the idea alone, and it was an effort not to groan. He had only just taken the brunt of his magic back from James, but not nearly all of it. Edward wondered if the male even noticed it was gone. But then again, he doubted that.

Only one saddled their entire life with power like Edward's, knew what it felt like to be rid of it. But to be comepletley honest, he had forgotten just how much it took from him. It took brain power to keep it regulated, and strained muscles to retain each surge of emotion.

And right now, he was scared. Beyond the façade he was keeping up for Jasper and Bella's sake, he was terrified of what was going to happen to his friends.

The sheer force of the magic the Gods granted him was immense, and he wished more than ever he knew why they did. Beyond his guilt and stress that was the third portion piled right on top. And he desperately needed to let some of it out.

And as he hurriedly took a seat far away from Bella's own power, he let out a sigh of his mist. Immediately, his muscles relaxed, and his chest eased. And that invisible weight lifted.

"Is that you?"

Edward looked at Bella. Her face was drawn in confusion, just when he felt his mist drag across her skin.

"You can feel that?" he asked. She somehow felt his magic testing her own to see if she would recognize it; recognize him.

She was silent as his mist shifted around her on its own accord. The power was like a living being. Edward had forgotten that if he allowed it, his magic could make its own choices. And apparently, it chose Bella.

"Why can I feel it, but not see it?" Bella asked as she silenced a shiver. Edward would have killed to be able to peer inside her head again; to know if what she felt, might very well be the mating bond.

But it was impossible. When he left Bella's thoughts only minutes ago, he had built a magical wall behind him to stop any other intruder from entering.

Even himself.

"I don't know." Edward said as he glanced to his palms, but he had an inkling of why she sensed it, "Most of the time I have to make a conscious effort for someone to see the magic I emit. Otherwise, it's undetectable, except to the people that are…closest to me." He saw how her eyes had drifted wider as she absorbed his words. But if she understood what he was insinuating, she didn't reveal the fact.

So he carried on,

"Before Victoria took most of my power, I would let a little of it filter out naturally, since it could cause stress to keep so much of my magic bottled up inside. And now that you know I'm not just High Lord of rainbows and sunshine," she scoffed at that, which made a small smile appear on his own face, "—I suppose I have fallen back into the habit. But I don't know how you can feel it with your human senses," She must have been growing into her own power. That was the only solution.

If Edward had any time, he would research connections between mates that held magic. But it was so rare for High Fae to find their equals, let alone Fae such as Edward. Power like that was only created a few times in the universe. So he had an inkling his and Bella's bond would be one fit for the history books.

Bella simply tilted her head towards a map of their lands, "Is this your continent?"

Edward nodded; waiting for her to ask what she really wanted. Because her brows were drawn and her jaw was clenched; which usually meant another inquiry was on its way.

And sure enough, she asked, "Earlier, I heard a voice in my head ... and it wasn't my own." Her eyes flicked to him, and he swallowed in preparation for the answer.

"That was me," he said tightly. And he recoiled, waiting for the words that usually came after that admission: monster or freak, he had heard it all before.

But his mate remained calm. Although he saw the betrayal seep into her eyes.

"How long have you been in my head? Can all of you read a human's thoughts, or is that just a little trick that the High Lords like to abuse?" She asked; her voice turned to ice.

"No. It's a rather—rare gift," he explained, but her lips upturned at his choice of words.

"Gift?" she scoffed, "People on the other end probably wouldn't call it such."

"Bella," he laid his hands flat on the table, but he could practically hear her teeth grinding, "I promise you that was the first time," purposely, that was, "—I would never do it if your safety weren't a concern. The only reason I did was because James can see into minds too."

She blinked suddenly, "What?"

"Even as weak as his power is, he could have easily let himself in if your thoughts projected themselves strongly enough. That's why I told you to think bland thoughts, or else he would have sensed how intense your fear was and been able to enter." He watched her face lose tention, but he could tell the idea of mind readers still irked her.

And Edward was unable to glance warily to her palms where he sensed her magic coming to a boiling point. Now was as good a time as ever for her power to make an entry since the most powerful emotion was usually anger. Every Fae in history had their powers surface during a fight.

But Bella took a grounding breath before she asked, "Let himself in?" her head cocked in pure ferocity. And Edward got to peer into the window of what she might have been if she had been born immortal like them. Bella might have even been more powerful than Victoria herself, able to take out the witch in one fell swoop of flames. "Did you just let yourself into my mind again? Was it that easy?"

"Yes."

Her eyes widened in fury, and he rushed his hands up in defense as he saw then and there, that Bella _was_ powerful. In her anger, Edward saw how she was about to burst from it. He swore her eyes turned liquid, and perhaps this was his real penance for all sins he had committed over the centuries and that he would pay when she erupted and created his own pit of hell.

But Edward also wondered if he would even want to save himself and not just stare in pure wonder as she burnt down his entire world.

But still, Edward wavered before answering, "But that can change. I can teach you to build a defense against people like me. With practice, you can learn to shield your mind completely." It would take time and a lot of frustration, but he knew she would catch on quickly with Jasper as her tutor.

"You could have told me," she rumbled low, and his eyes went to her hands. He half expected them to be whirling with balls of flame. But they were nothing but flesh and bone.

"If you knew, you would have run for the hills," Edward said honestly. He saw in her eyes how she agreed. "Either way," he continued when she seemed to have calmed a bit, "We have a lot to discuss."

She gave him a soul-peering look, "Like how you are High Lord of two courts? I still don't understand how that's possible."

"It's possible because of my mother's lineage." Edward's eyes went to the map before them, and Bella followed.

He rolled his shoulders before beginning. Edward so wanted to tell her the whole story, but he knew they simply didn't have time.

Victoria was probably already hatching a plan that would be catastrophic to their world. But all of that could wait. His mate needed to know what Edward was made of: the good and the bad, the sympathetic and perhaps the not so sympathetic things he had done in his lifetime. But no matter what, he wanted her to know what contributed to the male he had become.

"My mother was from the Night Court, a very powerful faerie, but a nobody when it came to the family name," he said softly as he stood, and he sensed how Bella's mood suddenly eased. But as he spoke, he was careful to keep his eyes on his mother portrait. Because if not, he might tell Bella what he promised he wouldn't.

"When she met the Lord of the Spring Court, they were on a mission of commerce between the two courts. And when the High Lord saw my mother, he knew—"

"They were mates," Bella finished.

Edward's eyes flashed to where she sat behind him, and it was as if his soul melted. Just her speaking the words made something inside him clench; it was a sickening feeling to know what she would never be privy to. But he would not tell her in light of what he was about to do.

Nevertheless, Edward carried on.

"They were married a month later, and my mother gave birth to my two older brothers within fifty years of being bonded," his attention went to his father's portrait, but Bella remained silent.

"Faeries having even one child within a century is unheard of, let alone two within such a short time. And then and there, the High Lord saw my mother was…special. And to celebrate such a rare gift as two male heirs, he threw her a ball."

The more Edward explained, the more he felt his shoulders tense. The history of how he was born was dirty and shameful. But it was something the Gods had created with their owns hands so he could do what he was meant to.

He remembered the words his mother told him when she revealed the truth: that no matter what shame she committed, she did not regret her choice. She did not choose some bond or unworldly feeling ... she chose her own happiness.

And with one look at Bella, Edward knew why what his mother did was so powerful. It might have been a strange magic that bonded Edward with a human, and even if he loved Bella with all his heart, Bella also needed to choose him, too.

"The ball was supposed to be a formal apology to my mother. Because you see, the High Lord, in his greed to keep my mother's strength a secret, had locked her away," Edward was putting it lightly. He didn't want to speak of the cruelty his mother had to endure.

"As a child, I saw how The Lord of Spring drove my mother to her death. By treating her as a possession rather than a partner, it broke her heart."

"Why would he do that to his own mate?" Bella asked forcefully.

Edward blinked, "So that no one could see she was more than just the wife of a High Lord, but a High Lady," he finally turned to Bella, and his throat swelled as he spoke, "She was equally as powerful as her mate and more. They could have built a dynasty together and bettered the world, but he was too scared that my mother would be stolen away." Edward was speaking to Bella at that moment: his deepest truth and greatest fear revealed under the disguise of a story.

If he were brave enough, he would explain to Bella that his instincts were telling him to hide her. But beyond what he felt, he would not become his father.

"Is mating really more about possessing a person than anything else?" Bella asked.

"No." Edward huffed, "For some, but definitely not all." He resigned with a sigh before he ended the story of how he became.

"But evidently, the ball wasn't enough to win my mother over. The betrayal from her mate was too immense."

"What did she do?" Bella was on the edge of her seat now.

"She stayed, of course." Edward shrugged, "But in her heart, she could never forgive her mate. But the night of the ball, it so happened that she encountered her childhood friend from home. He was now a grown male and High Lord of the Night Court. And he was someone who was understanding when others were not. And so, when he made certain—advances towards her, she did not refuse."

He turned to look at his mate, and Bella slowly receded into her seat. But her eyes were saddened. And with one look, Edward's heart softened to know that she was just as deserving as his mother. Bella deserved to make her own choice too.

"I know what you're thinking: and yes, the mating bond is strong. But my mother was betrayed in the deepest of ways, and I don't blame her for turning to another." He turned back to Bella, and she only nodded.

"No, I don't either," Bella finally spoke, "But if she had relations with the High Lord of the Night Court, does that mean…"

Edward leveled his chin as she trailed off, "What I have just told you, only a few people know."

But more importantly than that secret; only Jasper and Alice knew that Edward had also found his mate. But instead a happy ending, he was going to have to leave his own story. The tale of the beauty changing the beast could never have the resolution he wanted.

"I am their son." Edward said instead, "The true heir to the Night Court."

He drank in Bella's reaction, and only after she swallowed whatever thoughts she had, she asked, "Does James know?"

"He, including Victoria and everyone else, think my mother was the lost daughter of a once High Lord of the Night Court, and that's why I have the claim to both thrones. When in actuality, I have no right to the Spring Court. Only Jasper, Alice, and few others know the truth."

"Others?" Bella quirked a brow, as Edward realized what he had let slip.

Emmet and Rosalie, his closest friends in the Night Court. He liked to think they survived Victoria's siege of his home. But it seemed as though the witch had taken it all.

Edward still managed a smile, "Yes. They are my close confidants, currently living in the Night Court and running it in my absence."

He had trusted them with everything. The two were the first of his father's people that he met when he visited the Night Court. And instead of viewing Edward as some outsider, they welcomed him with open arms.

And now, Victoria had killed them too.

And that's what led Edward to his decision soon after James revealed the master plan.

"But Bella, that's not all," Edward admitted with a heavy sigh.

She sat up a bit straighter, but her face fell when she met his eyes.

Pain and regret.

If only Edward had been smart enough to see what the witch had been planning. He knew Bella was the key to it all when he saw her as an infant, and he should have left her alone.

But Edward was blinded as soon as he knew there was someone out there who perhaps could understand him. And that selfishness had made Edward fall right into Victoria's plan.

But no more.

"Tell me," Bella ordered. And if it was possible for someone to convey so much fire in her eyes, she could. And like the coward he was, Edward only turned his gaze away when he said, "I have to send you away."

There was a swallowing silence between them. It was so dark that he thought it would gobble him whole. But then Bella gathered herself.

"Why? Have I done something wrong? Have I—" Bella sputtered, and his heart broke knowing she blamed herself first.

"No Bella, no. Listen to me," His hands went to her on pure instinct, and he clenched down on the magic that sought to ease her pain. He would take every bit of it if he could.

"I see now that I've kept you here beyond your will," he explained even as her face crumbled slightly, "I thought you would be safer with me—" Edward stopped the thought in its tracks. What he had hoped, and what was actually possible were two different things.

So he said instead, "For _you_ to live here; away from a family that didn't appreciate or protect you, that's all I ever wanted. But I can't keep you safe anymore. James _will_ tell Victoria, and they _will_ take you," he finished.

Bella only looked into his eyes; pleading with her dark gaze, and what she saw in that cursed blackness, the Gods only knew.

"Do you get to make the choices for _me_ now?" Bella suddenly pointed at the line of portraits that hung on the wall and Edward had no idea if she was talking to him or his father. But either way, he and the Lord of Light had both betrayed their mate in their own way.

Edward's nostrils flared, "I will not cage you like some bird and convince myself it's for your safety," He said under his breath. He would sooner build his own bars than have her live in risk of Victoria's grasp.

"But you're okay with forcing that decision on me?" Her eyes narrowed, and Edward waited for Bella to finally break past her human skin and roast him right then and there. But even if he couldn't bear sending her away, he couldn't endure Bella living in fear.

So he rolled his shoulders and the anger dissipated. All his life, he knew that his path was most likely leading him towards this. No matter how he prayed for something else, it seemed as though the Gods had fated him differently. His mother knew it, and perhaps even his father did. And now he would have to face it.

"Don't you understand? You're not safe here." Edward beseeched even as Bella's breathing had turned heavy. And she only continued to look at him with those wide eyes, "So I'm sending you back home for the time being," he said with a heavy heart.

"For the time being, not forever?" Bella clutched at his sleeve to make him look at her, and Edward made himself spit out the lie.

"For the time being," He answered softly, but he turned before she could read the falseness in his eyes, "Tomorrow morning, we head out."

"Tomorrow?" Bella choked, "We're leaving that soon?"

"Yes, I don't want to give James or Victoria _any_ more chances to surprise us again."

"How—how long do you think I'll have to stay?" Bella seemed scared to ask the question. And he had never imagined it would be this hard to lie to her.

Edward glanced over his shoulder, "Until this is over."

"When will that be?" She whispered. And Edward couldn't even answer that question. And as he steadied her shoulders with his hands, he saw the defeat in her eyes. And his own façade nearly broke.

"At the most, a year" he forced a smile across his lips, "Then you can get back to causing us endless trouble." Even if he never saw her again, Edward could never forget those scheming eyes and devilish wit.

They would follow him into the afterlife and beyond.

She gave him a reluctant smile, "I'm not giving up, even if you are," She returned. But there was still a tightness behind her words; a feeling that only followed Edward as he left his mate to face his fate.

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As Edward awoke, for perhaps the last night time in his bed, the reality of his life hit him like a raging storm. He was taking Bella back home. And after that, he would give himself to Victoria in exchange for everyone's lives; a worthy cause.

So he packed his bags in a trance. And when he felt Jasper's presence in the doorway, it was an effort to look him in the eyes.

"So, is this goodbye, then?" Jasper asked with folded arms, "Did you tell Bella what you're really doing?"

Edward simply handed the sentry a piece of sealed parchment. "When Bella is safely settled, give that to her." he looked down just as Jasper did, "It explains everything. The mating bond, what Victoria threatened to do and what I did to make sure that never happened. Promise me, you'll give it to her when the time is right?"

Jasper nodded solemnly, "Bella said she's not giving up on you, and neither am I. I hope you know that, even when Victoria tells you differently, we'll be trying to save you like you saved us."

Edward took a deep breath to silence his emotions, and instead offered his hand, "It's been an honor serving as your High Lord. But I will always see you as my brother."

Jasper ignored the handshake and embraced him instead. It was quick, but it eased a bit of the pressure that was building in Edward's chest.

"This is not goodbye." Jasper blinked, his face serious in a way Edward had never seen it before.

Edward didn't answer. He didn't have the energy to tell Jasper not to waste his time. He only grasped his friend by the shoulder as they walked down to the foyer together.

"Do me a favor and make an honest woman of Alice," Edward murmured to Jasper as they waited for Bella. He could hear her and Alice's emotional goodbye, and he couldn't bear to listen anymore.

Jasper quirked a curious brow, "What do you mean?"  
"Even if I've been busy, you think I haven't noticed you two sneaking off?" Edward gave Jasper a knowing look, and his friend only shook his head with a laugh.

"My family will think it's unsuitable," Jasper grumbled.

Edward handed him another piece of sealed paper. Jasper glanced down before taking it hesitantly.

"Give this to your father," Edward said, "It's a written blessing from me." Jasper blinked as he explained, " It says how only you can rule the Spring Court in my stead, and I want Alice by your side." Edward smiled when Jasper's eyes grew wide, "And if your father doesn't consent to the marriage after that, then his approval means nothing anyhow."

Jasper's eyes had gone a bit watery, "Edward, I don't know what to say."

"Just promise me you'll be happy and forget about all of this. Forget about me," Edward said.

Jasper opened his mouth to answer, but by then, he heard her enter the hall.

Alice gave a knowing look as Edward finally glanced to Bella. She was wearing the gold dress he had gifted. And even if he couldn't see color with his cursed eyes, he knew Bella looked like the sun itself. But he swallowed those feelings away; remembering he would eventually have to say goodbye to her.

"Ready to go?" Edward did his best to give a smile, but there was no energy behind it.

Bella nodded. And as she turned to Jasper with wet eyes, the sentry just gave her a stern look in return, "See you soon?" he asked seriously, but Edward knew Jasper was doing his best to hold back his own sadness.

Bella's lips wobbled slightly at his words, and Edward had to look away.

"See you soon," she affirmed to the sentry. And Edward's chest swelled when he watched Jasper pull his mate into a tight hug. The depth of the life he was taking away from Bella made more guilt rush him like a wave. But a life away from them was just that…A life.

Edward glanced to see Alice watching wistfully, and he got a glimpse of what happiness he could have had with his friends.

But his fate and his dreams were paths not meant to cross.

"I'll hold you to that. I still expect to take you hunting sometime." Jasper teased, and Bella took a careful step back as she then looked to Edward. He saw the strength in his mate, but she would need further help if either of them were going to leave.

So Edward put a gentle hand on her back and wordlessly led her outside. Waiting for them were two horses, already packed with their bags. But he had a feeling the tension from their goodbyes would follow them long past the gardens.

"I hope you don't mind but—" Edward started, but Bella was already disputing.

"You can't be serious. I'll fall off!" Bella gave him a stern look, and he thanked the Gods for the hint of normalcy. Even if he knew she was upset about it, he had forgone a carriage for good reason. Something so loud and extravagant would no doubt get them noticed by unsavory people.

"You could always ride with me again?" Edward shrugged, but Bella clamped her mouth shut a moment later and mounted her horse the next.

"I'm sorry Bella," Edward said as soon as she settled into the saddle. She looked over to him, "I never meant for it to happen like this."

"But it did," she said solemnly, "And whatever you think, or whatever you're not telling me, I will work every day to figure out, and then I will find you again. " He was shocked silent as they towards the woods. It was a sad statement more than an angry one; and as they rode into the wilderness, Edward was doomed to stare at the one thing that would be the most difficult to lose.

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They had dreadful weather. Edward had hoped the Gods would at least grant them a good journey, but the clouds had formed, and their travel was made more dreadful than it already was.

Bella was silent the entire time. Edward couldn't tell by the weight of her shoulders which one, but he knew it was something. He didn't blame her, he knew better than most that goodbyes were never easy. It seemed as though he could do nothing right. No matter how much he wanted to keep Bella safe, he was doomed to do nothing but disappoint her.

By the time they reached the inn where they were going to stay for the night, he himself was exhausted from the cold rain; he could only imagine how tired Bella was.

"How are you feeling?" he called up to her as they steered their horses into the nearby stables. The horses seemed grateful to get somewhere dry, not to mention how happy he knew Bella would be to get out of their soaking wet clothing.

"I'm thinking that Jasper could have taken me home ... but you are instead," she narrowed her eyes at him as he only looked past her towards the inn.

"I'll take care of this, you go inside and get warm," he offered as she walked around him with a knowing gaze that made his stomach drop.

Bella was more determined than he gave her credit for. But she could never find out what he was planning, or else she might do it herself.

He only gave a heavy sigh as he watched her go, as well as the many stares she got from the few patrons that were smoking outside.

They had at least gotten well past the Spring Realm into the human one, only another day's ride from her home. But the danger was not yet out of sight, and it only made Edward's teeth grind to see how men leered at Bella, and that he would never be there to protect her from them or from Victoria.

But he shut down the thought and only made quick work of the horses. Bella could handle herself if he went through with the plan.

So before pulling his cloak over his head, Edward hurriedly entered the place where they would have their last night together.

The inn they were staying at was just a glorified pub that just also happened to have a few rooms for rent upstairs. It was filled with dirty men and a few women, who no doubt earned their living with their bodies. It was the last place he wanted to bring Bella, but it was also their only option.

He found her instantly. She was seated on a stool, and surprisingly, had an ale in her hand and was sipping away at it quietly. So after he saw she was in no immediate danger from a lustful onlooker, Edward felt content to leave her alone a moment longer to find the clerk.

"A room please," Edward asked from under the shadow of his cloak. The last thing he needed was someone realizing he was from the Fae realm and cause an uprising. The relationship between the two worlds was complicated and messy, and he was determined not to mess it anymore.

"We have one room left; I assume a single is okay," The clerk barely grumbled, "Here's your key, don't lose it, or you'll have to pay for it," the man eyed him warily when Edward had yet to move.

"I need a double," Edward asked as nicely as he could, but it was more like an order. "Please," Edward added a second later when the man had yet to answer.

"That's funny, friend. But I suggest you take what I give you before someone else does." The clerk motioned to the several couples that were moving a little too vigorously for it to be categorized as dancing.

"Fine," Edward grumbled to the grumpy human and swiftly joined Bella at the bar. Thankfully she was still alone.

"Nice place, eh?" he murmured low, and Bella merely looked at him before glancing towards the several pairs of drunkards and harlots. And when her eyes landed back on him, she merely shrugged,

"Forgive me if I'm not in the mood for jokes right now," she said dryly.

"All right," Edward said a bit too brightly, "I got us a room if you want to change into something dry," Edward nodded to the creaky set of stairs, "And I'll bring us some dinner."

Bella only clenched her jaw.

Since they had left, there had been nothing but blank stares and silent answers. Perhaps he had taken and taken so much from Bella that she had nothing left to give.

No, she would survive after this, even if it took her a while.

She would get over him.

Thankfully Bella gave a forceful nod as she took the key from his hand. Sparks followed from her touch and spread up his arm. He was used to it now; how even her touch could make his skin ignite in heat.

Edward gave a glance to the couple who were full out groping each other in the corner before turning his attention to the bar.

"Your hottest meal please, and quickly," Edward ordered the tender; who barely nodded before setting a tray of bread and stew in front of him. Apparently, none of them wanted to deal with a stranger.

He couldn't blame them.

"Thanks," he grumbled. This would be he and Bella's last meal together. He had once prided himself in guessing what she wanted each breakfast, but he had the inkling some mystery stew was the last thing she wanted now.

But either way, it would grant them the energy they needed to move on tomorrow. The day he would undo all that he had done, while returning Bella to where she belonged.

He swallowed the emotion that again rose. The entire trip he had been silencing his thoughts and pushing down his feelings for her. But in the back of his mind, a voice was screaming that Bella belonged with him, not with her family.

But he pushed on, barely able to ignore the uneasiness in knowing that tonight he was going to have to sleep in the same room as his mate .

He found the room easily; all Edward had to do was follow Bella's scent, and he was in front of a door that barely fit under the low ceiling. He had to duck his head and situate the tray before he could even knock.

Bella answered quickly, and he sent out one last hope to the Gods that the room would at least be spacious. Because after a day of travel and frustration, his magic had several ideas as to how they could relieve the stress.

But if he was in the same space as his mate, for perhaps the last time in his life, Edward would enjoy only her company.

But he gulped when he saw the size of the room.

It was a joke.

There was barely space for one bed, and dresser pushed in the corner of the attic ceiling. Did he mention there was only one bed? A bed that currently held his damp, cold mate who was dressed in his clothing as she waited for him with shivering shoulders.

"This was all I could manage from the cook since the kitchen is closed. Don't bother asking what's in the stew, but at least it's hot," he glanced down to the tray before quickly setting it down on the bed.

Edward backed away a moment later but was unable to stop from watching how she scooted closer before ripping a piece of bread to place into her mouth. "Thanks," was all she said, and he watched her as she hummed as chewed. He was going to categorize this moment, even if he had pushed her away to the point of not talking.

All of it was too domestic; them sharing a meal together in a close space as she wore his clothes. It was as if the Gods were mocking him with a future they might have had.

"Well, I guess I know why they laughed in my face when I asked for two beds." He glanced around before bending to his pack, "There's barely room to stand in here."

Bella surprisingly laughed through her food, "I guess I got my wish after all." If there wasn't a bite to her tone, he could be led to believe she wanted this.

He just said, "I can sleep on the floor."

"Nonsense. I wouldn't do that to you. We can share," she offered lightly, and Edward hung his head with a sigh. Did she not know what that would do to him? The mere fact that she was warming to him made his knees weak to her every demand.

"Okay," he barely answered, "I just have to change first." He wished he could have used his magic, but he didn't want to run the risk of Victoria sensing it, and having a way to track him to the human realm.

But even if he couldn't change in one snap, and Bella was watching his every move, he was desperate to get out of his old clothes. Edward felt how his cloak clung to his back even through the two layers underneath. And one small comfort, even if he would be in agony all night with his mate lying next to him, was that they would at least be dry and warm.

But as he shed his pants first as his cloak covered him completely, the room…changed.

He glanced over his shoulder after he unbuttoned the cloak to change his shirt and Bella was watching closely.

"I'm sorry," she said huskily, "I just don't know when I'll see you again. And I—" she pressed her lips shut as his arms froze mid-motion. It was such a strain on Edward to be leaving her that he didn't bring into account how much she would miss him too; maybe perhaps as much as him.

And if she meant it or not, Bella's eyes had turned dark, and her mouth hung open slightly. It made him shiver knowing she liked what she saw. And as he continued to undress, it was an effort to forget the weight of her gaze.

Because Edward felt the tension between them; it was radiating from her just as it was from him. But as he pulled on a dry shirt and she looked away, he silently scolded the side that wanted to wrap her in his arms.

They could not be intimate now. Bella deserved more than a male that deserted her a moment after they took everything she offered.

But his mouth went dry just thinking of holding her against him even if it was only for warmth, it would be heaven.

And he remembered their kiss, it felt like eons ago, and it had been just yesterday. And no matter how he tried, Edward could not ignore he wanted to do it again.

But he cleared his throat instead, "I take it that the stew wasn't too bad?" Edward looked to her bowl that was almost empty before taking a seat at the end of the bed. He was forcing conversation to forget the heat between them.

But it did not dissipate.

"It was actually kind of good once I stopped trying to guess what was in it," she shrugged with an enchanting smile and Edward laughed quietly. It was a relief to see how her shoulders lightened.

So they continued to eat in silence. Hunger and the chill forcing them to hoard their food like starving men. But through it all, Edward still saw how Bella sipped her wine a little too willingly. Either it was to fill her belly with more warmth, or something else…Until eventually they had finished their meal with nothing left between them but space.

Edward looked at the tray like it was the last real defense between them. And now that it was gone, it meant they would have to go to sleep.

Together.

And even if he did sleep on the floor, Edward would still be able to hear her every shift, every breath as Bella dreamed away. Even that would be too much.

"Well," he offered, "We both have a long journey tomorrow, we should probably get as much sleep as we can." Edward removed the tray and placed it on the dresser. And he heard her pull back the sheets, the sound filling his mind as he turned to her.

Bella just looked at him with her big eyes, and no words had to be spoken for him to understand what she wanted.

One last night; one last moment together for her to hold.

And he couldn't help but give it to her.

It was a comfort to know that one thing would never change: he would always be weak to that face. And as he joined Bella under the sheets, he ordered himself that it would be the only request he granted her that night.

Nothing more.

But then she started shivering.

"You're still cold?" he joked half-heartedly.

"That's what happens when a human gets wet and has no way to stay warm," she whispered in reply, and he wondered what she was insinuating.

And damn him for giving in…again.

"Come here then," The words left his lips before he had the hope of stopping them. And before he let the moment go tense, he added, "It's just body warmth, Bella, nothing else."

Lies.

It was everything to him to have her fall asleep in his arms.

"But you emit the cold," her wavered voice answered. But she shifted a bit to test it, and he sucked in a breath.

"Just come here," Edward clamped down on the leash of his self-control one final time, and at the same moment, he let his magic run free. He willed it to be as warm as a summer breeze, "You'll be surprised."

The only sound was their breathing as she scooted her back to fit his chest. And he could have growled at the Gods for making her mold so perfectly against him.

Bella only sighed softly as she melded into his chest that much more. And all he could do was close his eyes when she tucked her feet under hers.

Gods help him.

But the beast inside him only snickered. Because his mind had long forgone its seat as captain.

"Now, isn't that better?" he cleared his throat rather forcefully.

Bella hummed in agreement, and he looked over to see her eyes closed and her face soft.

But Edward was anything but.

As he drank in the sight of her slightly damp hair and slender neck, her scent settled around him and called to his magic. Gods, everything about Bella made his mind spin and his self-control strain against the leash that held it. And he swore he felt Bella's fire magic ebb in response.

The wicked thing.

As Edward glanced down, he realized that he had somehow wrapped his arms around her without noticing. And now that he _did_ notice he realized that he was holding her shoulders and lower abdomen, a sudden rush went straight down to his groin.

It was the worst kind of hell; to be finally doing something he had dreamt of, only for the sunrise to take it all away.

And suddenly, the beast he hadn't heard speak since yesterday, was beginning to plant ideas in Edward's mind. Like if he leaned in and placed a kiss on her neck, would her breathing hitch? But he was jolted out of his mind by Bella's voice.

"A thought for a thought. I want to know what you're thinking back there," she asked. And the lilt in her voice alone told Edward she was probably smiling.

"I thought you were angry with me," he said, deftly moving past what he was really thinking.

"Even if I am, I can still see you're only trying to protect me like you always do for everyone you care about."

Edward swallowed.

"So, are you going to tell me the truth?" Bella asked. Edward was doing his best to think of something; anything to tell her than his real thoughts when her fingers started to trail along his arm that was wrapped around her stomach.

"You know what I'm thinking," Edward finally said.

"Please tell me," Bella shifted slightly. And the feeling of her made his beast rumble deep and true.

Edward couldn't hold on much longer.

"I'm thinking—" Edward splayed his hand in search of her own, and she surprisingly gave it to him "—that I want to do much more than just keep you warm." The words rushed from his chest in a great breath.

And all he could do was wait.

Risk.

All of it was a risk.

Giving into the desire while in the human realm, no less. And in such a tiny space that it could be dangerous for her, and dangerous for every human in a fifty-mile radius.

But all Bella had to do was say the word, and Edward would forget it all.

"What do you think of that?" he asked when all he could hear was her ever-increasing breath. And the voice that left his mouth sounded more like his beast than anything else. Edward didn't quite understand the need that was growing. It had been so long since he had allowed it to.

That was until Bella.

"I'm thinking that I want you too," she finally breathed. And he tightened his arms in agreement. "I think some part of me wanted you from the very first time I saw you," Bella said with finality, and Edward almost let loose a snarl.

Bella gasped when she felt his lips at her ear, and Edward only dragged his mouth down to her neck. Somehow, throughout all of the travel and stress, she would always smell like the sweetest candy and Edward had to close his mouth before allowing himself to bite and taste just for sure.

"What do you want from me?" Edward growled darkly, but it was more like a plea than a question. Perhaps a question for the Gods for tempting him so thoroughly. And he wondered if he was strong enough to refuse the forbidden fruit if she was dangling herself in front of him.

Definitely not.

"If you can't give me everything, give me something," Bella's voice was thick among the darkness, and he heard the strain in her words, "Give me something to hold onto."

Edward felt his phantom heart thud once in response before it went silent. He knew what she was asking; what she was _realizing._ That if they couldn't be together for an eternity, at least grant each other a taste of it.

So with every ounce of himself, Edward murmured into her ear, "Then allow me the pleasure of giving it to you."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N First I will have to apologize for the long delay. School has been rather insane and I didn't want to rush anything. Also, a big thank you to my Beta SunFlowerfran for being patient. And a final thank you, to all you readers that inspire me to keep writing. Hope you enjoy :)**

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Edward realized how far they were past the point of no return. In one moment, he promised himself that he would sleep on the floor; and in another he was bowing to the need like his life depended on it.

And oh, did it feel like his every breath hung on each reaction Bella gave. Because, just like near the starlight pond, his mate was giving as much as she got.

Her moans were ingrained into his head as Edward gently scraped his teeth along her collarbone. And he couldn't stop his hand from rising to her chest. More he would always want more.

Bella's breathing hitched as he scraped her soft skin with his palms. And when he finally grasped the tenderness of her breast, he realized he would have waited another eternity just to feel her arch against him.

"Fuck, Bella," Edward groaned when she pressed harder. It was like an enchanting dance; each sway and dip making his inner beast growl for more.

The single thought that ran through his mind was how had he refused this so long. How had Edward ignored what was between them?

Because giving in to his need of Bella was like being granted entry into the gates of heaven. And even if their ecstasy was only for one night, it would be worth it.

Their breathing and movements were melding to one as he let his instincts take over. His mouth tasted the skin of her shoulder while his hands were pulling and kneading her flesh. And each sound Bella made was better than the one before.

But between the aching breathes and whispering touches, Edward had yet to move his right hand any lower than it was.

He was careful to keep that need at bay; the need to feel exactly what he was doing to her. Because even if he was finally touching Bella, the most intimate place that sat between her legs was a step he wasn't sure he could take.

That was until she spoke.

"Give me something," her voice was rough with arousal, and Edward clenched his jaw in response.

"Gods, Bella," he murmured under his breath. Praying to solve the inner struggle he was fighting.

Could he have Bella once in his life, only to be doomed to live without her the rest of it? Could he give himself what he had fought so hard to resist?

How many years had he clamped down on that need to take her? He had ignored their bond to protect her; protect their world of the wrath that would come with their pairing. Almost to the point where the bond between them had shattered.

But whatever shards their connection might have been left in, those tiny pieces that remained continued to grow and spread until they had wrapped around Edward's soul.

Because Bella was as much a part of him as any other fractured piece that Victoria had left behind. And unlike the fractions that tormented him to no end, the one thing that had held him for all those years was finally wrapped in his arms.

So how could he ever refuse?

Edward gritted back every instinct he had, and finally slipped his hand beneath the band of her sleep pants. She was warm and wanting as Bella groaned out loud. And that forced a growl from deep in his chest as his own cock responded.

But Edward did well to silence that need; vowing that this would be about her, and nothing else. This would be his final repayment for her bringing him back to life.

"What do you want, Bella?" Edward asked with a smile against her neck. He would enjoy this for everything it was, and not dwell on that this would be the last.

"I want—" Bella's voice broke off just as Edward let his fingers trail the band of her under-things. He felt each of her muscles contract then loosen. And his final inhibitions did the same.

"What do you want Bella? Name it, and it's yours." She could have ordered anything at that moment, and he would have given it to her.

Bella could have said she wanted him and nothing else, and Edward would have fought the Gods themselves to grant it.

But all his mate said was,

"Release, I want release from this torture," her breath washed the air, and Edward went still at that word.

 _Torture._

He had gone through every possible torture in his life. The torture of his mother withering into nothing while he could do nothing to stop it. The torture of Edward knowing he was an outsider living in a foreign land he could never leave.

Not to even remember that Victoria physically and mentally tortured Edward until he was on the brink of losing himself.

But the greatest torture of all was knowing Bella wanted nothing but release from him.

Yet he pushed past that final blow. Edward had known for a long time that Bella was attracted to him, and held no deeper feelings beyond that.

But then he realize that anything Bella gave him would be more than enough.

So Edward let his fingers take that final dive between her legs; groaning when he felt the wetness there. And Bella started to move with him. She gasped sharply when he dragged his thumb across her bundle of nerves. And Edward was about to ask if she was okay until he felt her brush his cock with her ass.

"Stop that, or you'll ruin my fun." Edward groaned, nipping at the lobe of her ear to make his point. But Bella only sought to weave a hand in between their bodies. She wanted to touch him.

And even if his head went swimming with the thought of Bella touching him _there,_ they could not _._ That last step; the _taking ... it_ would be the final claim over their bond; and Edward knew he wouldn't be able to bear leaving her after that.

"I want to touch you first," Edward said instead, his voice laden with the amount of love he held for Bella at that moment. But here he was, trying to give her the most immense of pleasures, and she was selfless as always, thinking of him.

But somehow, Bella gave into his request as her hand covered his arm that snaked across her chest. And with one small squeeze to his wrist, she whispered,

"Please."

Edward hummed at her plea before slowly pushing a finger inside.

He felt her body go tense, and he placed an open-mouthed kiss against her neck to release the tension. And only after he felt her muscles relax, did Edward push in a second finger.

"Fuck," he couldn't stop the curse from falling. The feel of her was nothing he'd ever encountered. Hot and inviting in the most glorious way. And when she started moving on his hand, he couldn't help but smile in pride.

"That's it," Edward encouraged as he drew her against him. Never would they be close enough, as he reveled in the feeling of her warmth against his cold.

But Bella had yet to say a word as she sighed and shuddered, but her breathing alone told Edward she was climbing; slowly peaking to a point where she would shatter around them.

And all he could do was stare.

The dim lighting didn't help him get a clear view, but Edward still watched in rapture when Bella threw her head back against his chest. And when he increased his pace, her hands clenched at his arm just as he curled his fingers inside. Then she cried out; broken and wanting as she clutched at the hand that was working her over.

And all of it, down to the way Bella scrunched her eyes or parted her lips, was a picture Edward wished he could save forever.

But just as he was about to bring his other hand to join the other, Bella was spinning in his grasp.

Those brown eyes blinked up at him, hooded and filled with heat as he gazed down at her. And before Edward could say anything of how beautiful she was, or how he never wanted to leave, Bella was kissing him.

Edward froze at the shock, but his mate's lips moved with his like she knew this would be their last time together. And damn if Edward wasn't going to throw everything into that kiss.

"Bella," Edward murmured into hers before he traced them with his tongue. He was trying to convey the amount of love and gratitude he was feeling without words. But they still spilled out of his mouth without hope of stopping them.

"You have no idea how much I—" Edward somehow stopped himself with pure force; even clamping down his jaw so he wouldn't ruin this for her. But his beast only roared at the interruption.

' _You have no idea how much I love you,'_ was what Edward wanted to say. Because it was as if it was eating and feeding on his heart at the same time. If such a thing was possible.

But if Edward ever told Bella the truth, he wouldn't be able to bear the look on her face when she told him she didn't feel the same.

So Edward would bring her pleasure instead; enjoy the fact that he was the one giving it to her. "Bella," Edwards murmured in her ear; relishing in the way she hummed at the sound; her body relaxing all that more when he traced his tongue over the sensitive spot there.

Then he started to move faster noticing Bella had been growing wetter by the second. Merely in the way she was clamping her legs together to gain even a bit of friction, told Edward she was close.

So he quickly found that bundle of nerves and began to rub in tempo with his fingers.

Bella jolted at that, and Edward hushed his response against her neck, "It's okay love,"

The words were something he had never thought to say to a female; but then again, Edward had never loved anyone but Bella. And he desperately wanted her to reach her climax, knowing the person giving it was her heart and soul.

But Bella didn't seem to have heard him, as her whimpering increased with his ministrations. And just before she shattered into pieces, Edward allowed himself to taste her. It was the smallest incision of teeth into the skin of her neck. But it was enough for her blood to seep onto his tongue.

And that final claiming: it threatened to bring Edward his own pleasure as he finally let the essence of Bella coat his senses.

Fae biting their mates was instinctual. As instinctual as what was happening to Bella as her walls started to clamp around his fingers. And the taste of her mixed with the feel of her reaching that final peak gave Edward something he never knew he wanted.

She was a part of him now; so integral that he could feel her melding with his bones.

And then Edward was kissing her. It was rough and driving. And it drove Bella to the point where she wasn't afraid to let every whimper and moan reach his ears. And he swallowed every one of them.

Her entire body started to shake with her orgasm, and Edward subconsciously drew her closer to him; curled a finger inside that sent another wave of pleasure to coarse through her.

Bella cried out as she let her orgasm overtake. Edward was more than happy to feel her spasm against him; delving his tongue into her mouth to draw every ounce of pleasure until she went slack.

And when Bella was finally spent, Edward placed a careful kiss on her lips; letting loose a breath of his own.

What had just transpired was more intense than he could have ever imagined. And despite the blissful look on Bella's face as she smiled up at him, all Edward felt was a pit in his stomach.

This had been a mistake. Even if his body was screaming the opposite. Edward knew better.

There was a reason he had kept her away for so many years. Why he had struggled these past weeks to retain that barrier. But now that he had tasted what it could be like, he wanted nothing but to gorge himself on her.

Bella, unbknownest to the inner struggle Edward was fighting, merely stretched her tense muscles in a daze. She even smiled at him with the ecstasy; her eyes dazed from the intensity of her orgasms.

He managed a smile back; slowly retracted his fingers as their situation settled around him. But Edward still made sure Bella was watching when he put the two digits into his mouth.

And sucked.

Bella's eyes only darkened, just as Edward hummed around the taste of her.

Then she flew into action. It was as if Edward had unknowingly awoken the dragon as his mate gazed up at him with pure heat.

And he was more than happy to let her push him down on the bed just to have an inkling of what it would have been like. The image alone of his mate atop him made Edward's arousal that much more prominent.

And by the look on her face, Bella had felt every inch of it.

"Edward," she drawled, clenched at his shoulders as she started to move on him. But he silenced her hips with the mere touch of his hands.

"When we finally do what you're thinking," Edward dropped his eyes as he swiped his thumbs across her hip-bones, "I want to be alone; far away from everyone."

"Why?" Her mouth slipped into a pout. Edward merely rose to kiss her jaw; happy when she leaned into his touch.

"Because when I take you, Bella," he leaned up to murmur, "I'm going to let myself roar loud enough to bring down the mountains."

Their eyes met in that instant, and he couldn't help but smile when Bella's eyes flared open in response. But she then shot him a scowl as if to say, _'Not fair.'_

"Sorry, love," Edward chuckled as he flipped them over, "But its time to sleep," Once again, her face was away from him, which was for the best. Because if he saw his mate's sleeping face, he wasn't sure if they would ever leave that bed.

It was true what he said. If they had ever been allowed to be together ... To _truly,_ allow their bodies to merge, Edward was positive his roar would make the earth crumble.

But that was a fantasy that could never come to pass. Because if they did it in the human realm, then Victoria would find them in an instant. That level of power would be detectable, and Edward could not risk them being caught when Bella was so close to safety.

So Edward hushed her instead, "Sleep,"

Her body tensed in disapproval, and Edward swirled his hands across her abdomen in order to make her relax, "Sleep," He said against her temple this time, "We will see each other again, and we _will_ finish what we just started."

Edward forced the lie through his teeth as his fingers softly stroked her arm.

And only after Bella gave a peaceful hum, did Edward allow himself to peer over her shoulder. Sure enough, her eyes fluttered shut at that moment, and he felt his chest expand.

This was goodbye; the last good memory he could give her. But the one final thought that barreled through his mind had no hope of remaining silent. And so, Edward finally let those three little words break free, just this once.

"I love you."

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 **A/N Hopefully I will have more for you guys soon. Let me know what you think :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Edward's eyes shot open the moment the sun hit the horizon. Beams of light were gently warming their cold, tiny room. He felt a body shift next to him, and then he remembered who that body belonged to.

Bella.

And suddenly the events of that previous night came spiraling back. And after years of celibacy and forced seclusion, Edward had finally given into the desire.

Even if there would be consequences to face because of that desire, Edward didn't care. He didn't care that perhaps their coupling of magic last night had sent a beacon out to anyone that was listening.

Victoria.

Edward was handing himself over in mere hours to save the single thing he cared about the most.

Bella.

Therefore, even if he would never hear her moan his name again, or would never feel the softness of her curves, he would cherish what they shared until the end of their days.

And looking down at her sleeping face, he did his best to memorize the flush of her skin, or how the slope of mouth turned up slightly as she slept. In that untouchable moment of watching her, an insidious thought crept into his mind.

He wanted to run.

For once in his life, Edward wanted to take the easy way out. He wanted to steal Bella away ... to flee somewhere where Victoria could not find them.

For even during the pleasures of last night, Edward had not forgotten why they had to do it. He had to save Bella from the wrath of Victoria.

Despite all the thoughts mulling around in his head, Edward merely slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Bella as he steeled himself for the trials the day would bring.

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Edward was surprised the tavern was open so early. So he ordered breakfast and sat down for a drink while he waited for her to wake. Because if he was there when Bella woke; to hear her voice gravely with sleep …

Edward knew he wouldn't be able to contain himself. His self-control was thin enough from last night. For even long after Bella had fallen asleep, anytime she shifted in his arms, he would wake, still tense with scorching need.

He took in a settling breath at the memory as the bartender gave him a knowing look.

"Rough night?" The bartender asked genuinely. Edward gave a tight smile.

"You could say that." He answered.

It seemed the answer was enough conversation the tender needed to have with a stranger like Edward. Especially one that kept his head covered at all times. And he couldn't blame the man.

Humans were skeptical of odd-lookers like Edward. Unlike the Fae, the rest of the humans remembered the five-hundred-year war and its aftermath.

So Edward would do well to go un-noticed through their travels unless he wanted to confront trouble. And it didn't matter anyhow, because he would soon be long gone.

Because it was then that Edward heard the sound of Bella rising upstairs.

"Payment," Edward said, quickly sliding a bag of silver coins across the table to pay for the meal—ten times the payment for such—as he met the tender's eyes, "Is everything ready that I asked for?"

"Exactly as you ordered, sir" the bartender nodded while taking the heaping bag.

Edward didn't answer as he braced himself to face Bella for the last time.

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Bella had just slipped on her shirt when Edward walked through the door. And with one peek at her creamy white stomach, he wanted her. He had her mere hours ago, however, he wanted to feel her writhe against him another time or two. To hear once more her moaning for more while he brought her to the edge….

But all Edward allowed himself to say was, "Good morning," And with a rather forced smile, he set the tray on the dresser.

But Bella didn't move from the middle of the room.

"Good morning," She gave him a sleepy smile, and Edward clenched his teeth. How was it that every part of her called to him? From her bed-tangled hair and swollen lips down to the distinct scent of his mingled with her own.

If his beast had its way, Bella would have been taken ten different ways last night, and ten more this morning. And this feeling ... the incurable wanting of her, was precisely why Edward had resisted it for so long.

Yet that dam had been broken the instant he had felt what was between her legs. Just feeling her warmth wrapped around his fingers told Edward what it would have been for real. And perhaps it was better he had a morsel of what their pleasure could have been, instead of taking the whole meal and then wanting nothing but to gorge himself.

But still, Bella was looking at him expectantly, and he couldn't resist one last taste.

So Edward kissed her.

He was careful to keep it short and sweet, but he longed to lie her on the bed and kiss every other part of her as well. But he managed to pull that need back into place.

"How are you?" He asked. It was a simple enough question, but her eyes seemed rather dazed to answer. "Are you too sore to make the rest of the ride? I didn't even think—" Edward started to say, but Bella merely silenced him with her lips. And it was as if her skin was a magnet to his touch. His hands coming to cup that beautiful face.

Edward stroked his thumb across her cheek, once, twice, as he reveled in that kiss. It was slow but rich: and the feel of her mouth was a hint what their time together could have been. Without the complications of their world, they could have been full of long nights and lazy mornings. Full of breathless moans and lingering touches for the rest of eternity.

But they did have complications.

And all Edward had been through with the war, and with Victoria, all of it was worth it if it meant she was safe.

Yet Bella didn't seem to care about any of that as she traced her tongue along Edward's lower lip. And he couldn't help but groan out loud, the wet heat of her enticing in the most dangerous of ways.

So Edward couldn't help but slip his fingers along her neck, down to her shoulders to eventually rest on her lower back. And Bella's soft skin rose to gooseflesh under his touch. His beast preening to know he brought such reactions from her.

Yet his exploration of that slender waist or generous hips ended, when at last, he cupped Bella's ass. And Edward wanted her up against the wall, he wanted to hear her cry his name as she convulsed around him.

Bella only melted into that touch, arched slightly with a sigh. And Edward bit back a growl.

"Bella, you're driving me insane," he rasped, his voice pained from all he was holding back.

Edward had to constantly keep himself in check. He had to make sure his magic didn't harm her, or worst, tell Victoria just where they were. He had to keep his emotions buried deep, because, at that moment of holding her, Edward wanted to scream from the nearest mountain.

Edward knew he had been on the edge of sanity a few times in his life, but never like this.

His chest ached from the wanting, while his mind spun from every touch and taste, he had.

But Bella did not care, she only continued to stroke that glorious tongue along his. As if to challenge Edward.

"Then why don't you make good on a few promises?" Bella answered out loud. And even if his eyes were closed, Edward could imagine the wicked gleam in her eyes. And he actually purred as she dragged her teeth along his jaw.

Oh, she knew exactly what she was doing.

It was then Edward felt the sharp prick of teeth at his throat. The snarl that ripped from his body was loud enough to make the walls shake. And the next words were spoken in a low warning,

"I promise to take you, but not here," Edward said, but his hands were saying otherwise as they lightly traced lines along her torso. And he watched how her dark eyes flicked with what Edward could only describe as fire.

"I don't care where we are," Bella's clutched at his back, and Edward smiled at the bite behind her words. She was aching just like him.

"I know you don't." Edward chuckled as he allowed his fingers to brush the sides of her breasts, smiling in satisfaction when all air left her chest, "But I don't want an audience when I make you moan my name, Bella." Edward pulled away to see her mouth agape. And she actually licked her lips.

Gods help him.

But he merely let out a rough laugh to clear himself,

"Come on, I brought breakfast." Edward nodded to the long-forgotten tray. And Bella thankfully followed him.

They ate in careful silence. But as Edward gazed over to her throughout, he saw the tension in her shoulders. Either she was finding it difficult not to jump his bones—or she was nervous about what was to come.

Edward felt the same.

But as they started packing their bags, and he found Bella's lips quivering with quiet sadness, he couldn't stop his mouth from opening.

"Are you excited to once again see your family?" Edward peered across the room to see Bella's face had gone quiet as she situated her things within the saddlebags.

"Wait until they meet you again," Bella said instead as her eyes met his.

Edward's throat constricted with the small hope in her voice. She still wished for them to be a normal couple. For him to meet her father and sisters and perhaps become a part of a family again. But that could never happen.

"They can't see me, Bella. Contact with me will only put them in danger," he answered carefully.

"You didn't care about that when you barged in and took me in the first place." Bella quirked a brow in challenge and Edward should have seen it coming.

"I did that intentionally to scare them, so they wouldn't come after you. It would have only gotten them killed." Edward raised his brows when Bella kept her eyes averted. She only shrugged.

"I've survived, haven't I?"

Edward clenched his teeth with his answer: ' _barely.'_

He had barely been able to protect Bella in his own God's damned kingdom. It was the sole task of a High Lord to protect his people, and that failure would always be Edward's greatest shame.

"I've made a lot of mistakes Bella," he said tightly, "But I've always wanted to keep you and the ones you love safe. I'm only bringing you back because Victoria jeopardizes all of that."

Bella's hands paused as she looked up at him in a huff, and Edward realized that she was done packing.

It was almost time.

"So, if she were to take your power as well as everyone else's, what would she plan to do with it?" Bella asked.

"I don't know," he swallowed. The not knowing was perhaps the worst of it. Ever since Edward discovered that Victoria not only hungered for _his_ power but Bella's as well, there had been a permanent pit in his stomach.

He knew the fall of their world was sure to come if Victoria took all of Edward's power. Especially the last reservoir that had been unsurfaced from Bella.

But the decimation of their lands was one thing, but to know Bella would be tortured by Victoria as well? That was the one nightmare Edward could not endure.

And that was the only thought he allowed in his mind as he prepared for what would come next.

They exited the inn in silence, and Edward fell into step as soon as Bella's eyes settled on the carriage.

She stopped in her tracks.

She turned to him in excitement, but with one look at his face, Bella's smile fell.

"This is where I leave you." Edward bowed his head, answering the question that was already in her eyes.

"Why now?" Bella said as her lips quivered. But her gaze went to the servants bolting about, paid by the sack of silver he had discussed with the bartender previously.

No matter how hard it was going to be to say goodbye, it was better this way. The last thing Edward needed was to drag this out for her.

And as Bella was distracted by the bustle, Edward took her hand and gave it a light kiss, his eyes slipping shut as her warmth seemed to silently plead in response ... _stay with me._

' _I wish I could.'_ He answered silently.

"It's for the best, you're almost home," Edward said out loud. Giving her a genuine smile as two men appeared to gently lead her toward the carriage … further and further away from him.

But even if his brain was telling him this was the final goodbye, he couldn't bring himself to pull his hand from hers just yet.

"Just … please come." Bella's voice broke when the servants kept walking. He felt his throat constrict at the sound, "No, Edward. Please." Bella's eyes turned wide then. But those servants, whom he had purposely paid well, only ushered her into the carriage.

But the fear in her eyes ... it forced Edward's feet to move forward. To follow her and give Bella one last piece of himself.

' _I'm not ready,'_ Edward didn't know if it was his voice or hers, but he answered it all the same.

"Yes, you're ready." He was smiling softly even as he helped her in and had to shut the door behind. He could tell she was overwhelmed as he said, "You'll be home, Bella." But when she turned to him, the panic in her eyes took his breath away.

"Please." Bella was blinking back tears now, so he let his invisible mist wrap around her completely ... one last time until she was calm. The last thing Edward wanted was her crying when he left.

"Do you know why I can feel your magic when no one else can?" Bella blurted suddenly. And instead of Edward coming up with that last lie, he hauled her into a kiss.

And Gods was he happy he had given in to it all; happy that damned monster had tricked him into finding her. Grateful that the Gods took over and showed Edward what it could be like to love someone. Elated, that they at least had one night in each other's embrace.

And in that kiss, Edward said all of that and more.

As their mouths moved, every touch was laden with the love and sadness from centuries of being lost and again found.

As the carriage pulled away, and their hands tore apart, all Edward could do was smile. And his chest was full of joy when he finally said, "Because I love you, Bella." He didn't expect her to say it back ... had prepared himself for it, actually.

But as he watched his mate pull into the distance, Bella's mouth trying and failing to say the words, Edward felt his un-beating heart constrict with every emotion one last time.

Until it died for good.

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Edward watched even as the carriage was long gone. He wasn't keeping track of the time, but when he finally blinked back from that emptiness of watching her go, it had turned dark.

And so he commenced with the final step of his plan.

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"One last time, Edward, and I might consider letting you go. Tell me where she is." Victoria ordered. But he ignored with heaving breath, managing to lift his head enough to look at the night court one last time.

He would die here.

He would die before he ever told the bitch where she was.

And Edward tried not to cringe as Victoria ran a too-sharp nail along his jaw. Her red lips pulling back to reveal her elongated canines.

Gods, Edward missed so much.

He missed having breakfast with Bella every morning. Missed the lingering scent she left as she drifted down the halls.

So Edward just laughed.

Victoria could skin him alive, and she would still get nothing from him.

But apparently, Victoria did not like his answer.

He sucked in a breath when her faerie monsters tugged on the chains that held his arms. His body was already marred with the wounds Victoria had already left in her wake. But she was careful to use enough magic to make sure he didn't bleed out.

There was nothing worse than an unconscious victim.

Edward stifled his groan when Victoria placed a blow to his gut, low and true as the pain spread across his body. But it was nothing compared to the thought of Bella in Victoria's hands.

So he did nothing but press his lips together.

"Why do you make me do this?" Victoria pouted, and the look made Edward's already aching stomach turn over in disgust. That face and voice, although wicked, was also used to get Victoria everything she wanted.

But that was all about to change.

She sighed when he kept his mouth shut as Edward glanced to the faerie who held him. They looked starved as they stared at their lady for her next direction. But Victoria merely looked to Edward's expanse of skin before placing a hand on his chest. Right over his heart.

He pulled back his teeth in a snarl when she dug her claws into the flesh there. But she would have to pull his heart out of it chest before Edward willingly gave it to the witch.

But her hand only dropped to his abdomen, Victoria smiling as she trailed a blood-red nail along the waist of his trousers. He dared to look at her face ... but when he did, he saw a far-away hunger that resided in her emerald green eyes.

Eyes that had once been Edward's. And she had taken them just like the rest of him.

But even if she had taken his life-blood, his magic, his appearance, Victoria did not have one thing.

"Do what you like," Edward shrugged, not able to stop the words, "But you will _never_ have all of me." he watched with pleasure as her smile faded.

"You're so sure?" Victoria asked, pressing harder on his left pectoral. Edward braced himself for the pain as the witch tore his heart from him. But the only sound heard was his chains clinking as the monsters prepared for their Lady's final blow.

Yet as seconds slid past and nothing happened, Edward realized something was wrong.

Victoria's eyes had spread into shock as true, unadulterated surprise clouded her face.

Edward gave a confused glance to the two males that held his chains, prepared to tease that this is what happened when you steal another's magic.

But as he turned to Victoria and saw her anger, his words changed, "Are you surprised I have no heartbeat? You stopped it yourself," He said. Edward let the words loose so that Victoria couldn't do it first.

But the witch's eyes flicked to his before she snapped, "You fool."

The two faeries had enough brains to look terrified as she pushed from Edward. And all of them watched the witch pace, each breath wilder than the rest.

"You complete, utter idiot!" Victoria screeched, "You gave it to her, didn't you? Broken and beaten as it was, you gave her your heart?"

Edward's own eyes widened. Victoria had to be speaking as in the metaphor. He couldn't have _physically_ given Bella his heart, or else he would have.

Victoria's anger turned into hysteria, "You didn't even know you did? Yet this weak selfish human holds the heart of the most powerful High Lord in history. Was it by pure accident, Edward? Did you mean to give yourself to her, or did the wretch steal it herself?"

Edward growled at Victoria's words. Bella was anything but.

It was then he remembered that feeling of saying goodbye to Bella at the tavern. It had felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest.

And ever since he had watched that carriage pull away, that place felt hollow and bare. But as Edward looked at Victoria, he realized Bella hadn't taken it at all.

"I gave it to her." Edward smiled, "And I would do it again. Eternity after eternity. It will always be hers," He took pleasure in how this unsettled the witch. But Victoria was quick to wipe the surprise off her face as she gathered herself.

"Well, no matter," Victoria said primly, "If she has your heart, then I guess there is only one thing left for me." Edward braced himself as she revealed a sickening grin...

"I will just have to settle for your mind."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N Thanks to my Beta SunFlowerfran and my readers! We're approaching the end here :)**

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"Tell me where she is, or you'll regret what comes next," Victoria demanded, making her promise clear with the point of her nail hard against Edward's bare chest.

He spat blood onto the floor of the dungeon from her previous blow, spraying her shoes with a lovely coat of red in the process. Victoria bit back a growl.

They were in the basement cells of his own court, a place where he had discovered himself and his heritage many years ago. And now Victoria was using the mountain fortress as her own personal torturing chamber. But the witch would come to learn that The Lord of Night, no matter how she tried, could not be broken so easily.

Even after they had beaten and starved him, Edward had not uttered a word of worth.

"Resorting to silence isn't going to stop me from ripping the knowledge from your very mind." Victoria sang as she gripped a fistful of his hair and jerked Edward's head upwards.

He merely held her gaze, even if he was staring into green eyes as bright as the northern lights. They were his own, stolen from Edward when Victoria had last leeched his power those fifty years ago. A reminder of all that he had lost.

"Do it then," he said, bracing for the slap. Victoria just laughed as she dropped his head.

"You put up this lovely front Edward," she said with a twirl of her finger, "But I know you're hiding something. So just tell me where you put the human, and I'll at least let you keep your sanity."

Edward scoffed at that, lifting his eyes enough to give a smile he didn't recognize. My how low he had fallen, "Like I said, take anything you please. But I hope you burn in hell knowing you _never_ had all of me." The laugh he emitted sounded empty even to his ears.

Victoria's smile faltered.

"Do you think you can hide her once I have your mind?" she said, stepping closer, "Although you have always been stubborn, Edward, you've never been stupid."

"If you say so," he said, "But either way, everyone is gone now. It's only you and I. Might as well torture the male you do have." He hoped she would take the bait and realize she didn't need Bella at all.

"But that's not good enough, is it?" Victoria seethed, growing more agitated the more she paced.

Edward made sure his face remained calm, reminding himself that no matter what the witch tired, Bella could not be found. Not even by him.

"I must have the human who stole your heart. I must take the last of her lifeblood so we can finally be together! Only then will everything be as it should."

Edward felt his chest drop to his stomach. He had no idea what Victoria had in mind, but she was growing more hysterical by the minute. He knew he would have to give her something soon or she would send armies sweeping through the human's lands.

But if there was any semblance of solace in all of this, it was the knowledge that whatever had befallen in their world, he had made sure Bella would forever be out of Victoria's reach.

He knew the humans were good at one thing. They loved building walls to keep others out and their own in. And he had gone one step farther.

He had sent monthly stipends to Bella's family, and the gold and jewels in each trunk had been enchanted with cloaking spells. Those spells would cover her family's house long after the coins were spent, thus protecting Bella from detection of any of their kind.

That included Victoria.

The jewels had been the last ancient remnants of The Night Court. A gift once given to Edward from friends he would never again see. But even then, Edward would have sacrificed much more than treasure if it meant Bella could live.

But he had kept one last stone for himself. It was a sapphire as deep as the night sky, and he had used its last power for a very different purpose.

For after mere weeks of Bella's arrival at The Spring court, Edward had left to find her home. He had used the power to get past Victoria's detaining spell for the last time.

Edward had several restless nights wondering if he should prepare a plan in case he had to leave. Finally, he had come to a decision.

He had found the ex-lover Bella had motioned that fateful day in the gaming room. It was easy enough to track the human since he was the only one who was similar in age to her, while also having an acquaintance with the family. He even still smelled of her.

Jacob was his name. He was the human she would spend the rest of her days with. And even if it was against all their laws, Edward had broken into the man's mind to instill one last failsafe.

Humans were weak and willing, so it was easy to enter Jacob's mind. It hadn't even required Edward to break a sweat in order to plant the single commandment there he required.

If Bella was to return to them for any reason, Jacob must take her in with no questions asked. And he had to protect her at all costs. Even going as far as to protect her from Edward himself.

It was one last gift Edward could give Bella: the gift of a happy life with someone who seemed like a decent man. And most importantly, it would be far away from Edward.

So Edward knew, even if Victoria seized his mind and made him reveal everything, it would make no difference. Perhaps if the witch did what she promised, it would be more of a relief than torture for his consciousness to be taken from him.

It was a cowardly thought, to give up just for the sake of being free of the pain and the past. But Edward had lived so many centuries with that other side of him ... that demon who hungered for desolation and despair.

The dark beast had always wanted nothing but to break free of the cage Edward kept it in; constantly urging him to slaughter anyone who dared get in its way of conquering. The side that Victoria wanted him to give control to.

Bella had been the only one who could tame that part of Edward. Perhaps his mate was the single person who had seen both sides of him and yet she did not cower in fear.

And with Bella's departure, came Edward's dark thoughts. So if he was being honest, he was so dreadfully tired of listening to them all.

So why not let Victoria taste the burden of his existence?

"You can't honestly convince me you are happy that human has your heart." Victoria pressed when Edward had yet to answer, "All I did, I did to protect you from that fate the Gods spun for you. And still, you fell into their hands."

"Well, they call it fate for a reason. Why fight it." he shrugged. Even if it caused his shoulders to scream as the chains clanked with the movement. But he had to show the witch he had stopped caring long ago.

Edward would not betray Bella, but he also couldn't show Victoria that the mere thought of his mate being alone caused his vacant heart to ache. So he would feign his carelessness.

It had been days of this torture. So many dark hours spent in the same dungeon that Edward had lost track of the exact number. But it seemed as Victoria never got tired of inflicting her cruelty. Never grew tired of talking either.

"I get to decide your fate now," she said with a slithered smile. Edward merely blew out a breath.

"Haven't we done this before?"

It was so painfully true. All of this they had done. Victoria had already tried to win his heart those fifty years ago. And when she had failed, she decided to steal his magic instead.

Even before that, the five-hundred-year war had almost taken everything from Edward and his family. It had revealed the truth of his lineage to the world. That he was nothing but a bastard.

And Gods was he so sick of it all.

"I only want to show you what you could be. If you join me," she said, "We could take back this land as our own. Enslave those pathetic humans who dared to forget about us after the war. We could prosper forever, you and I."

"I will never join you," Edward growled at the mere thought of it, "So kill me and get it over with."

"Now why would I do that," she pouted. And he tried not to vomit, "Why would I waste something so delicious?" Victoria purred then, circling him now. They were alone since she had long since excused those minions of her. And Gods only knew what she had planned.

But the witch had yet to do anything monumental. Sometimes she would run a finger along Edward's skin, trying to rouse some reaction, but only to be disappointed.

Every other minute was her babbling on and on.

But sometimes, she would force his head up to her. And Edward had to look at the glowing skin and emerald green eyes Victoria had taken from him.

He had to look at the proof of his lineage, the proof of all the people he had been parted from.

And he couldn't help but relive all he had lost. His mother and his heritage, his friends and his court.

Bella.

But still, none of it was enough to make Edward any more talkative.

When the torture did stop, his body was left to hang lifelessly between the chains that held his arms apart. His muscles were long numb from being kept in such a position, and he no longer could feel his feet that barely brushed the stone floor.

But none of it mattered anyhow. Edward would hang there forever if he needed to.

Because Bella was safe.

"Gods, I don't know why I even bothered with you those fifty years ago," Victoria sighed, "I don't know why I ever tried to help you be free. I hoped the curse would have shown you that you never needed your court or your family. Or even friends. All you needed was me."

"I don't know why you bothered either," Edward said, "Why did you choose me anyhow? You could have had any male in the land. And you chose the single one who couldn't choose you back."

Her feet paused at that.

"You know why I chose you," Vitoria said darkly, "Because of what we could be, together. I chose the bastard son of the High Lord of Night to help me conquer the world. Whose power was death and darkness itself. And you will learn to choose me in time, I assure you."

"Don't hold your breath." He said. But she only continued.

"What I never understood is why you stayed. You, with all your power, were stuck there as the youngest son of The Spring Court. You stayed under a High Lord who wasn't even your real sire! You were as trapped as I was, Edward. And in you, I saw someone who could finally break past it all and break my chains in the process."

"You made your own chains a long time ago," Edward said. He didn't know why he was trying to argue. Perhaps he couldn't let Victoria take any more of her thinking she knew best.

"So did you," Victoria said cunningly, "You were always the best at creating your own cage, Lord of Night. You forged it long before I came to your family. And still, after I tried breaking you free, you turned around and made another cage. You actually cared for that human!"

He clenched his teeth at that. But forced himself to scoff, "Its sound like your dispute is with the Gods, not me," he said.

But Victoria suddenly caught his chin with her blood red nails, forcing his head up. And even if Edward fought against the strain of that pull, he lost.

"The Gods made my sister betray me when we could have anything we ever wanted. She gave it all up for the love of a _human,_ " Victoria spat, "So even if the fates have not destined us together, I will do it myself. You should thank me, Edward. Your chains are finally broken."

"You took those chains and spun them into something worse," Edward growled when he finally looked into his own eyes, the ones the witch had taken from him. "You took away my family and my court. And then you stole my magic so I would have nothing else."

"No, you could have had everything, Edward! You could have had the world in the palm of your hands. And what did you do instead? You gave it all up in favor of a disgusting human!"

"Bella is not disgusting," he seethed his teeth against her hold, and Victoria only laughed.

"She is disgusting. She is as vile as my sister. My ignorant sister who thought she was so smart in choosing love over power. But I showed her just what that choice cost in the end. And when I find that human you think is your mate, I will make her pay as well."

He let a growl rumble low in his throat as a warning. But Edward couldn't spit whatever words he wished before Victoria was taking his head into her hands. The pressure of her grasp causing him to groan in dispute.

"Now, my love, I free you from her," she said, "Once and for all, I lift you of your burden," Her eyes lit with an unknown light and Edward was doomed to watch as they sparked brighter and brighter as Victoria finally took the remains of his power.

No not just his power, for he could feel not only his magic, but his entire self, slipping through his temples and into her hands.

Victoria was finally doing what she had been promising.

She was taking Edward's mind.

He grunted as she pressed harder. And Edward felt her take each thought as though they were nothing but wisps of air.

"I promise you this is for your own good," Victoria said as she clutched him even tighter. And even if Edward's body started to shake from the pain, he would not scream.

He only watched as those eyes started to glow like the Northern Lights. With each morsel of power she took, Victoria sucked his mind out with it.

"Gods, such guilt you carry," she actually laughed at his pain. And he could do nothing but watch as she leached out every part of him.

"I don't know why you even wanted to find your real father all those years ago," she mused, "The once High Lord of Night was as weak as you. He dreamed of a better world just as you did. And you will fail just as he did."

Edward clenched his teeth at what she was revealing; reading his thoughts as nothing but annotations in a book.

"He never wanted you, you know," she said. And Edward's gaze flashed back to hers only to watch happiness cross her face, "None of them did. The Night Court you called home never wanted you. They thought of you as a burden. They will be happy when you are finally gone."

Edward's chest clenched at the words. He would have told Victoria she had no idea what she was talking about if it was the truth.

But she did know what she was talking about.

All of it was true. Everything he held deep inside himself. And now Victoria was speaking them as her own.

"Go to hell," he managed to spit at her. But with each passing second, Edward felt himself dissipating into that nothingness.

He had been wrong.

Pain was better than this oblivion. And now the pain of being torn from his own consciousness was so immense that it was an effort to hold back the tears.

But he did bite them back; as one more act of rebellion. He would not let her win. Not completely at least.

But the witch only continued.

"I see why you took her now," Victoria smiled then, and Edward suddenly recognized that smile as his own. His beast was speaking through the witch directly to him.

"You wanted to see if for once, someone could accept you," It was Victoria's voice that spoke, but the monster was the one pulling the strings.

And Edward could do nothing but listen.

"You wanted to see if your mate could see past the monster everyone else saw you as."

Edward steeled his mouth to stay shut against the phantom claws that ripped at his mind. But he was still doomed to listen to every single shame released to him.

"You hated yourself for doing it, didn't you?" the witch mused, "But you were selfish enough to do it anyway. You captured that human, took her from her family in the desperate hope of having someone else to share the pain with."

And there it was. The greatest of all his shackles. He was the most selfish prick to have made Bella suffer with him.

And no matter how much he told himself he had done the right thing in taking Bella, Edward still knew deep down what his real desire had been all along.

He had wanted someone to share the cage with.

"There. Now you are free," Victoria let go of him suddenly, and they both gasped when that last lick of power left him and entered her.

And Edward's eyes lolled shut as his body went slack.

Empty.

He was entirely empty. The void had no end and no beginning.

Darkness.

So much of it that it ate up any source of light or happiness that had ever once been inside him.

He dimly heard Victoria groan, "How did you ever control it?" she cried, but Edward couldn't bother to open his eyes. "It's bottomless, your magic. So terribly endless that it will be nothing to conquer this world. I think I will have to search for more of them to take!"

Edward finally managed to open his eyes at that, and he saw Victoria's once pale skin glowing with the power she had stolen.

But he had not a single thought, not a single movement in his body. There was nothing but pure oblivion.

"Rest well, love," Vitoria touched his cheek, and Edward blinked when he felt nothing. Just cold nothingness, "I believe this is going to be a pairing for the history books."

And then she was gone.

Edward just hung there barren and barely conscious. For there was nothing left in him anymore. Victoria had taken it all. She had succeeded in taking everything from him.

And it was enough to make him cave in on himself.

No beast. No monsters to battle self-control or strategy with. Just an endless void that he could do nothing but tumble through like the worst storm. There was no past or present, just that soul consuming darkness that he couldn't help but curl into.

But then he felt it.

A sliver of hope illuminating that darkness. It was tiny at first, as minuscule as a fleck of dust. Just the same amount of hope he had felt when Edward had first seen Bella.

But the hope he felt now, that flicker grew and grew, warming his aching bones and making the darkness recede bit by bit.

And Gods, Edward could have wept from the joy of feeling something. From being freed from that oblivion. And he knew exactly who had caused it.

It was unmistakably _her_ because it was warmth and comfort and entirely Bella.

Her magic.

Edward had known it would be power to counter his own once it woke inside her. He felt her day to his night. Light to dark as it scared away the void Victoria had left him in.

He felt it then, as it warmed him chest to fingertips, how Bella had always been his match in every way. And even after Victoria stole his very essence, that bond was still intact.

Perhaps it always would be. A leash to fasten their souls as one even after death.

But the joy washing over him was not that she had saved him from the darkness. It was that Bella had finally found her magic in herself.

It was fitting that just as all of his power was taken from him, would she find her own. And even if Edward wasn't there to see her blossom into her power, he knew that Bella had persevered and broken it all by herself.

"Bella," Edward murmured into the darkness, hoping that the connection was not one-sided.

It was then that what had previously felt like a muted fever in his bones, turned into a boiling furnace. She was still burning, perhaps growing stronger with each moment that passed.

Edward could only groan out loud when he felt a blast of power. The heat of it almost knocking the wind out of him. It was power to match his own, fire to light up the darkest night.

And damn him, even if he never saw her face again, never heard her voice, or touched her skin, he would depart this world with a smile on his face.

For just the _feeling_ of that side of her, of how that most innate part of them would have twined together. It would have been effortless: a pair for the history books, indeed.

And on that thought alone, it was all worth it.

"She's coming, isn't she?"

Edward's head shot upright at that voice. And he found Victoria hiding in the shadows, using his own magic to conceal herself.

Victoria had never left. The witch had been watching the entire time.

And as his eyes widened in horror, he realized that Bella's emerging magic had been the final piece to the witch's puzzle. And as soon as Edward noticed the smile on her evil face, he wanted to roll inside himself for having betrayed his own vow.

"You thought you could hide her from me forever?" Victoria said, "But your mate broke through the damper I put on your bond. Even I must admit, she is more determined than once I thought. Now I know better. Now I can be prepared when she tries to rescue you."

"Leave her be. Please, I will give you anything," Edward barely murmured when he realized what he had done. It was an effort for him to find his voice. For even if Bella had filled his void with their bond, he was still barely himself.

"How have you become so weak?" she said, "How have your resorted to begging? Can you not see how weak she makes you?" she spat. He could do nothing but let out a sigh.

Victoria was right.

In allowing himself that last glimpse, he had let the witch see Bella.

"Don't hurt her," was all he managed to say. Clutching at his chains to haul him upright. For that nothingness in his mind was seceding now. It had been blasted away by Bella's fire, "I will live by your side for an eternity if that's what you want. Just don't hurt her."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't hurt her," Victoria said, and Edward slackened to hear it. "I will do much, much, worse. And I think I want you there to watch it all." Victoria gave a sickening grin, and Edward felt his blood still in his veins. But she merely snapped her fingers.

And in an instant, his chains were gone. His bare chest clothed in velvet and gold.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as he struggled to find his balance. He had been in those chains too long, and his legs couldn't remember how to keep him upright.

"I told you, I want you there when she comes to save you. I want you to watch as I break your mate so severely that neither of you can ever remember the bond you held."

"You bitch—" Edward opened his mouth to dispute, but Victoria twirled her hand. Claws of mist and fury wrapped around his body, seizing his muscles under her control. It was his magic working against him once again.

And the last thing he felt was Edward's consciousness bowing to her will before everything went black.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"My Queen, she is here." James bowed to Victoria, and the witch merely revealed a feline smile from her throne.

Gods, he would have killed the weasel if he had the chance. He had always acted against Edward's every order during the brief time he was at The Night Court. And now he knew why.

James had been waiting for someone else to follow.

But he ignored them, Edward's head spinning just as someone else entirely, was revealed to the court.

Bella.

She had come, just as Victoria foretold. Edward had prayed against it for the days since the witch had taken his body under her control. Believing in the Gods or not, he would do anything to make it so.

Enough that Edward had taken to Victoria's bed, telling the witch he was hers in every way. Even if it made his skin crawl, he had performed well. Doing whatever she commanded of his body. But none of that torture compared to seeing Bella fall into the witch's trap anyway.

He was in the shadows, watching as his mate was forced before the crowd of onlookers. Before Victoria.

And he felt as if he was going to vomit as he realized she was going to die here ... in his court, his mate would suffer and die before his eyes. But still, he ate up her image like it would be his last meal on their retched earth.

Even if Bella was as colorless as ever to his cursed eyes, she was just as beautiful as he remembered.

Her once kind eyes were wide and wary as she took in the company before her. Edward looked to each faerie she passed, some sneered, and others looked as pained as he felt. And he categorized the few that treated her with scorn.

If ever he found a way to get them out of here, he would have them all killed slowly for ever thinking ill of her.

But he pulled his attentions to the two guards who were hauling Bella before Victoria, and Edward could have mauled them to pieces for holding her so harshly. But he was forever forced to remain still.

And seemingly on cue, he felt those magical claws dig deeper into his mind.

Victoria.

" _Stay quiet, and don't move,"_ the witch seethed through his mind just as Bella halted before the steps of the dais.

But despite the order, he concentrated all his efforts at moving just one foot. Trying to see if he could disobey her. But his body stood motionless.

So he would be helpless to watch his mate. He saw her gulp in fear, but Bella's eyes were steeled in determination; a look he had seen so many times before.

When they had been in the Spring court, every time Bella wanted to dispute him or give a smart reply, there had always been that fire inside her. And he prayed to the Gods she would surpass them all, like all those other times before.

Yet she had yet to see Edward standing in the flank.

He didn't know if he should be happy or sad she couldn't see him. For it felt like he was starving having not seen her for so long.

But then Victoria was speaking.

"Ah, just as I foretold. We have company!" the witch praised with outstretched hands, but there was no mistaking the distain behind the words. The hall merely waited in silence.

The only sound was Edward's vacant heart thundering to see Bella glance around the hall. He wondered if she could hear it herself, for now, she was the one that possessed it.

But his mate glanced right past him.

He tried to move his foot again. All he wanted to do was sprint to her and tell her to run. Edward would take them all on if he had to, magic or no. But his muscles were stiff as boards.

' _She's even more plain than I thought. Rather dim also,"_ Victoria cackled silently through her head, and Edward clenched his teeth at her taunting. The witch was trying to get a rise out of him.

But it would not work. He would plot his way out of this if he had to die to do it. He would get Bella out of there.

Still, Bella had yet to notice Edward. Instead, she looked across the hall. Each faerie her eyes rested on gave her a sneer in response. And he categorized each name into his head.

Even if they never got out, and they perished, Edward would personally see to each of their deaths all over again.

Thankfully, none of Victoria's followers seemed to sense the power that slumbered under Bella's skin. But Edward could never forget it, if he tried.

He could actually smell it, the flickering embers that were just waiting to be freed from Bella's veins.

But Victoria was still staring at Bella primly. Either the witch had forgotten his mate had found her powers, or the witch was pretending she had.

Either way, Edward dared not tear his eyes from Bella. Even as Victoria again spoke.

"Come closer pet, we won't bite," the witch said it in a way that implied otherwise. And Edward clenched his fists at his sides. A small bit of control she had let him have, but Victoria seized it back just as fast.

" _Remind me, what it this human's name?"_ Victoria entered his mind as Edward watched Bella take two tentative steps forward.

One. Two. The steps Bella was taking towards her death. And she couldn't even see him staring at her. He wanted to scream at her to look at him. He wanted to tell her to flee and never look back. And Edward would take care of the rest.

But his mouth was sealed shut.

" _Answer me,"_ Victoria ordered.

" _Bella,"_ He bit back the bile in his throat at revealing something so personal to the witch. For Victoria didn't deserve to even think of speaking of his mate's name.

But Edward would have given the witch anything if it meant her attention was elsewhere.

" _And what was this Bella, to you?"_ Victoria purred through her mind, her voice laden with fake sweetness. Edward shifted his feet, more control the witch failed to notice him gaining.

But he stayed put.

He would rally his strength until the perfect moment. And most importantly, Edward would play the game until the winning move showed itself.

It was all a game, something that Victoria wanted him to play all along. She had always wanted Edward to reject the Gods in favor of her. And he had started to play it in taking the witch's bed. And now he would finish it here and now in the name of Bella's life.

He would do it on bended knee if it meant Bella could walk out of there alive.

Even if everything inside himself retched at the thought.

" _She is nothing,"_ he answered smoothly, making sure his voice was smug, _"She is human trash that I will only discard,"_ he said, feeling the witch preen at the sound. And it was enough to make Edward want to tear the smile from Victoria's face. Well, more than he already did.

" _I think young Bella should hear the same, don't you?"_ Victoria sang as she turned back to Bella. And before he could reject, Edward felt that mist wrapping around his legs. _"So we can both watch her heart shatter when she_ _hears the words."_

The mist forced Edward from the shadow. Each step more agony than the last as he prepared himself for his mate to see him.

And as his feet were forced forward and Edward finally took his place by Victoria's side, he made himself look to Bella.

But as soon as his mate's eyes fell to him, they opened in real relief.

Edward's heart only ached to see her so happy to see him. Even after he betrayed her and left her. Even after he had done those things to her, she still brightened to see him. Bella, taking in his form like she was parched, and he was an endless stream.

But Edward was about to tear every bit of that away as soon as he said what he had to.

But he would.

He would retain the mask to convince even Bella that he was not on her side. He would have to tell his mate to her face he did not want her. Because only then would Victoria be convinced.

And only then could Edward's plan work.

But he had to fight that instinct. The one hunger to take Bella and flee from such a wretched place. But not only would Victoria's hold on his body not allow it, but they would also be hunted for the rest of their days.

So he would have to fight in a different way.

"And who might you be?" Victoria asked for the sake of their audience, "What is it that you want, human?" she spoke the word ' _human'_ like it hurt to do so. And the crowd laughed their answer.

Edward was doomed to remain still even if his brain was screaming at his muscles.

But Bella only ignored Victoria and instead, she looked back to Edward. And when she did, his soul shook at the levity of that gaze.

"I've come to claim what is mine." She stated, clear as a bell. And at the sound of Bella's voice alone, his mask threatened to crumble.

 _What's mine._

His mate's words reverberated in his bones. And Edward was positive he was reigning every lick of the bond, just so Victoria couldn't know he was rising. His soul was already singing his answer. That he was hers, and Bella was his.

And if he had his magic, he would have taken Victoria by the throat and wiped out everyone in the room if it meant he could tell Bella he was entirely hers.

But his mouth only remained closed. Edward couldn't even flinch enough to let Bella know he had heard her.

"And what is that?" Victoria cooed so sweetly that it caused Edward's skin to crawl.

Bella wavered slightly as she looked back to Edward. And he forced his face to remain blank. The witch just smiled like she had already won.

"What is it that you've come to claim, girl?" Victoria repeated, and the hall chuckled at her condescending tone.

Yet he couldn't be bothered to notice everyone else's reaction. His eyes were glued to Bella as her chin rose to announce,

"Edward Cullen, Lord of the Night Court."

Edward's heart stilled.

Somehow, she had learned his last name. And even if it was the surname attached to the Spring Court and his abusive father, it was still his identity. It felt as if Bella was coming to know him all over again.

"And you will give him to me," Bella continued, "Or you and this gods-forsaken place will all burn to hell, " his mate leveled her stare at Victoria. And Edward felt the witch turn unsettled for just a moment before that emotion was replaced by anger.

But Edward had no time to grin in pride at his mate's words.

Because Bella's palms rose to reveal flickering flames.

Everyone grew silent as Bella's hand was overtaken by dazzling fire. Edward observed it with a preening smile that was entirely internal. No one could know how happy he was, as everyone beheld his mate's power.

Her fire shifted color and grew on a whim. And each flame seemed to call to Edward in the best way. But he forced his awe back inside. He had to keep the mask intact.

" _Behold your mate,"_ the witch seethed through his mind. Victoria was jealous, he could tell. _"And you will behold as I break her in every way."_

Edward managed to clamp down his fear. Instead, raking his mind for what the witch wanted to hear. But there was no hiding how impressive the spectacle had been. For even the audience had gone silent and was subject to staring at the sight before them.

He still managed to draw his eyes away before Bella's landed on him just so that she had been the most mesmerized out of all of them.

Instead, Edward pretended to pick something from his tunic. The distraction was for Victoria's sake as much as his. But he still felt the heat of Bella's flames increase at the movement.

Then he felt Bella's crushing disappointment replace the anger, and he didn't let Victoria taste his own.

Because deep inside where the last bits of hisself remained, only Bella had revealed it to Edward in that dungeon.

Of course, no one, not even Bella herself saw any of that as he turned back to the front. But it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide his feelings. Especially from Victoria.

Finally, it became enough that the witch finally turned to him, "Edward, love?" Victoria said as he did his best not to flinch when she touched his forearm. Bella's eyes flashed to the move, "What do you think of all of this?"

Edward forced his gaze to Bella then, her colorless eyes blinking in wait. And he knew what he had to say to protect her this one last time.

"It seems as though the human couldn't live without me, so she's resorted to tricks." His voice was thick from lack of use. But thicker still, from forcing the retched words from his mouth.

He felt Bella slacken within their bond; watched her deflate at the words. But like the coward he was, Edward looked away before he would see the hurt reach her eyes.

He turned to see Victoria scowling at him. Edward realizing that even if Bella bought his lie, the witch had still tasted the falseness in his words.

But he could do nothing to recover his mistake before he felt the heat of Bella's flames turn into that furnace. Just like the first time he had felt her magic, it was as powerful as the sun itself inside their bond.

Because Bella's disappointment at Edward's words had burned from hurt into anger.

And Edward was about to send his comfort down their bond, just as a ball of fire was barreling towards his face.


	21. Chapter 21

Edward barely had enough time to absorb what was happening in order to move out of the way of Bella's fireball. But he still watched it pass his eyes before hitting the spot right behind his head.

He only stared at the place where it had hit the stone. Black ash and grey dust splayed across the surface. And it coated the shoulders of his tunic as well.

The awe he felt from the spectacle was enough to make him ignore Victoria's laughter. Bella's fire had been so magnificent and awful at the same time. He couldn't believe how she had learned to control such power so quickly.

But that awe dissipated when he realized what his mate had revealed to the witch.

Still, he turned to Bella finding her seething directly at him. She was hurt and angry, and he didn't blame her. But the mix was dangerous for any Fae to feel, let alone a Fae coming to age of their power…

Edward only prayed he would survive long enough to watch his mate erupt and burn them all.

And he swore he heard a growl slip from the curl of Bella's lip, confirming his suspicions.

 _I'm sorry,_ he shot down their bond. A lowly attempt at an apology. But there was no answer on the other side.

Yet Edward saw it in her eyes: that Bella was still wondering if he was still inside there. Perhaps hoped as much with that fireball. He prayed that her hope would be enough to overcome the fear that resided on her face as well.

Edward was reeling to tell his mate that he was just as scared as her, or perhaps more. But that fear turned palpable as he watched two guards restrain Bella.

She fought hard against them, and Edward instinctively tried to move towards her. He wanted desperately to shelter Bella from the dirty, grabbing hands of the faeries.

But it was no use. Victoria's magic had his feet cemented to the floor.

" _I told you I would break her,"_ Victoria spoke into his mind with a smug grin.

Edward felt a growl build low in his gut. He wanted to scream that the witch would have to break every single part of him before laying a hand on Bella.

But Victoria _could_ break Bella. Because he was speechless and motionless, Edward was useless to protect his mate, which was the worst feeling he had encountered in his half-millennia of living, " _Who knew it would break_ you _in the process?"_ the witch cooed.

He wanted to curl inside himself at that. Victoria had broken him.

And the anguish he felt because of it, started to spread like a disease. Enough that Edward couldn't even speak his rebuttal.

Perhaps the worst of it was that Bella was being bound and harmed in front of him, and she thought he didn't care.

"Edward," Bella shouted suddenly, and every inch of his muscles stilled to her voice. The guards only held fast, "Look at me."

Every instinct in him bowed to that order. But Edward could not obey. And Victoria sneered to know it.

Yet he saw every ounce of the fight his mate was giving, and he vowed to the stars themselves that he would fight along-side her till the end.

But Victoria's hold only strengthened.

"Look at me, Gods damn it!" Bella cried, and Edward swore his chest physically caved in on itself. But all she saw—all the rest of the hall saw—was a male so severely under Victoria's control that he was starting to enjoy it.

And Victoria seemed to preen at his silence, smiling wider as Bella struggled more.

He did his best to clench against the hold on his muscles; searching for any way to break free. Any increment he would gain would be worth the pain. Only to tell his mate that Edward _did_ hear Bella. He heard her heart and soul.

But he was too weak to even get out a syllable.

" _Will you not answer your beloved?"_ Victoria cocked her head in question. But she knew the answer. It was as if the witch herself was holding his tongue with those blood-red nails.

Edward was doomed to remain in that emptiness the silence created. Hollow and barren as the place his magic had once lived.

But Bella had yet to give up,

"Forget everything she has put into your head!" his mate yanked one arm free from her holder, and then another, as she managed to rush to the foot of the dais before two more guards restrained her. And her eyes were so beseeching that Edward scarcely believed he was breathing, "You are stronger than this."

" _I love you, and I'm sorry,"_ He wanted to soothe the hurt in her eyes. Aching to scream from the mountaintops how sorry he was to have dragged her into all of this.

But instead, his head angled sideways under Victoria's whim, as Edward felt his mouth open to speak the foul words,

"You got me dirty, human." The words sounded slippery to his own ears. But Bella didn't know that. Her face went taught with disbelief.

Edward so wanted to reach out and comfort her, to take Bella into his arm and never let go. His soul commanded him to do such.

But he only felt the muscles in his legs spasm against Victoria's control.

"Oh my, what unadulterated valor this one has," the witch cackled then, "However did you deal with such a girl?" Victoria turned to Edward, and he did his best to swallow the words he felt rising.

 _Lies, lies, lies._ _Edward shouted down his and Bella's bond—broken or no—But all he heard from his mate was silence._

 _Utter, bone-breaking quiet._

"She was entertaining enough," Edward bit back the slithering grin that coated his lips. But to no avail, "Although more trouble than she was worth." His eyes were cursed to rove up Bella's form as if it was the truth. Like such a rancid thought could have ever have crossed his mind.

Bella's brows still knitted with a mix of pain and fury. And Edward felt Victoria practically beam from his side,

' _Very good, my love,"_ she cooed through his mind, " _You've almost convinced me. But you'll have to try a bit harder to convince her."_

' _Bella, please hear_ _me,'_ Edward went to out-stretch his hand, but his shoulder shook in dispute. Bella's eyes only narrowed at him that much more. _'I hear you,"_ he answered her look alone, begging her to listen. But if not, he hoped his gaze conveyed enough.

Bella swallowed then, flicking her gaze to the witch before it rested on him, "Edward, listen to me. Whatever spell she has you under, whatever she is doing to you, I know you can fight it. Don't let her win."

He blinked once: Yes, he was under Victoria's spell.

But he blinked again. Twice this time: No, he could not fight.

He was trying. By the Gods, Edward was trying with every decibel of strength he had left. But he hardly knew where the energy was coming to allow him to stay conscious, let alone break past the vicious hold Victoria kept.

For her claws were as much mental as they were physical as they caressed down his spine, _'Don't fuss, my love. This human will be discarded soon enough,'_ she hushed.

Edward tore against the bind that seized him that much harder. The magic she had taken from him had dug itself into his very nerves. And even if each ached in refusal, he felt how weak his body had become from the combination of lack of food and his time spent drawn in that dungeon.

All he could do was pray he would be strong enough when the time came to fight.

But he couldn't even tell Bella as much before Victoria forced more lies from him, "I don't need you anymore." Edward heard himself say. But his speech was too tight to be convincing. And once again, Bella's gaze shifting between him and Victoria. Then back to him.

She was starting to figure it out.

And a little blip of light grew in his chest. Yes, his mate was clever. Bella always had been smarter than her own good. He only hoped there would be enough time for her to figure it out completely.

Edward noticed Victoria's questioning glare on him and he more felt, than heard the witch's wondering thoughts: How much of him did she own? Was he still under her control?

Yet Victoria did not push her suspicion any further before returning attention to her victim,

"I would ask you what your name is, but it's so painfully obvious who you are," Victoria said, "So I will have to tell you that you're too late, Bella Swan. I've seen you in his head, but I also have to tell you that you are no longer there."

' _She is lying,'_ he screamed to Bella, but Edward's lips were sealed shut.

Then again, parts of the words _were_ true. Perhaps their bond had been severed as Victoria threatened.

His mate seemed to find the truth in them too. But Edward rushed to satiate the doubt in Bella's eyes.

' _I am still here, and I love you,'_ he shot down their bond one last time. But his mate's eyes remained on the witch.

"I disagree," Bella said, and his chest grew lighter to hear it, "This is far from over because I am going to make you pay for what you've done."

Edward felt a feral grin spread within him. Yes, Victoria and the rest of them would all pay for what they had done. If he had any say in it, he would tear every member of the witch's court from the inside out.

But that smile left his entire soul when one of the guards struck Bella across her cheek. Hard and swift, the sound cracked within him along with the stone hall.

Bella sucked in a breath at the pain, while Edward roared. So loud that his ears rung from the sheer sound.

But no one heard.

Not even Victoria had any inclination as to his inner turmoil. She was too busy sneering at the innocent victim in front of her. While Edward was doomed to watch in silence as his mate suffered before his eyes.

But even if he couldn't do anything at that moment. Edward vowed then and there to rip out Victoria's throat for even uttering a syllable against his mate.

His only prayer was that Bella would be able to get out before the bloodbath ensued.

Bella regained enough fire to glare at Victoria and Edward swore something sparked in his mate's eyes. Perhaps it was a lick of flames that everyone had been so quick to forget.

But not Edward. He had an inkling the image of Bella's magic would stay with him the rest of his days.

He was, however, pulled from his thoughts as he felt the attention rest on him. _"Remember who you belong to,"_ the witch growled low, " _Tell me who you belong to."_

" _You, my Queen,"_ Edward feigned his devotion easily. Or perhaps it was because Victoria was so eager to eat it up _._

" _Then why do you keep staring at this filthy human?"_ Victoria spat.

' _You've become paranoid in your plot to dominate,"_ Edward eased through his mind _, "Let this human go. She means nothing in the grand scheme."_

Victoria did not answer, only scowled at Bella. And every inch of his skin prickled with the urge to protect. It flooded through every crevice as the witch kept her foul attention on Edward's mate.

But he would be wise to keep testing those claws that held his body. Because they were slowly receding. Slowly, but still. The more Victoria invested in hurting Bella, the less the witch held him.

And so Edward kept pushing.

"And how will you make me pay? You're just a half-Fae girl," Victoria said, "Now powerless and defenseless. And you've even given me what Edward had tried so hard to hide."

"Name your price, and I'll pay it," Bella said, not hesitating in the slightest.

No, Bella could not pay. Edward wouldn't let her. But he could only struggle in vain against those invisible shackles.

But then Victoria stroked a hand across his shoulder. His skin recoiled. And the look in Bella's eyes as she watched the movement was nothing but predatory.

"You would promise something without knowing the consequences?" Victoria scolded, "What would dear Edward think?"

Edward would think he didn't deserve her to want to rescue him in the first place. Let alone his mate to make a bargain with a mad-woman in his stead.

But all of that was obsolete now. His one and only requirement was figuring out a way to get Bella out. Death or oblivion, or both. That was his priority.

He just had to work himself free of that spell.

"Why don't you un-muzzle him from your magic and ask him yourself?" Bella somehow spoke Edward's thoughts as she quirked a brow at Victoria.

He saw in his mate that same fire he had seen in her eyes, slipping into her voice. And Edward finally managed to move one finger. Enough that he let out a breath at the small victory.

Yet no one noticed him slowly coming to life as Victoria cocked her head at Bella.

No, a look like that could never be good. Edward knew the witch did not appreciate being shown up in front of her own court. From a human, nonetheless.

Then again, the intent in Bella's eyes was also making everyone in the room—Fae and Faerie alike— second-guess pushing this human's mysterious wrath.

Edward had to admit he was one of them. But if he had to choose one way to go, it would be within Bella's raging fire.

"Now why would we do that when I have Edward just the way I like him?" Victoria said. Bella's jaw feathered at that. And he managed to move another finger.

No one noticed this time either.

"I see, you think you love him more. Such a human thought."

He moved his shoulder while Bella kept the witch talking. Soon he gained enough control to manage a sidelong glance across the crowd.

Edward scoffed to himself as each audience member was so enthralled by the conversation between Bella and Victoria, they weren't looking at him.

Bella's answer was swift, "Like I said, name your price." His mate's eyes flicked to Edward, and it took every ounce of will in his body to remain placid.

' _I hear you, and I am here,"_ he tried shooting down their bond. But Bella's eyes were steeled in determination as the witch pointed a finger at her.

"You." The look on the Fae Queen's face actually made Bella recoil slightly. His mate was wise to sense the power, but not so smart to show the small weakness.

Edward only continued to fight and tear at those invisible claws.

"I want your magic. Your wildfire," Victoria revealed, and Edward felt his muscles tense at the words. He stopped his squirming just as dread coated his senses.

No, Gods, no. Bella's magic was too unpredictable, too strong. Edward felt it in that fire-ball alone. Such power would tear the world apart if Victoria had it in her clutches.

And Edward would sooner leach his entire soul if it meant that Bella could keep herself whole.

Then again, he thought he had forfeited himself completely to Victoria long ago.

When her curse had taken his appearance and magic away, Edward thought that was the end of himself.

But then, Bella had come into his life, and he had regained a part of himself that he didn't even know existed.

Just for Victoria to come back and take that very essence his mate gave him days ago.

Yet, when Bella's magic had surged through her, it had poured through Edward as well. It had been enough to allow him the strength to take back a part of his consciousness.

It seemed as though no matter how the witch tried, Bella could always pull Edward from the depths. No matter how deep or how desolate they seemed, his mate would always be there to save him.

Even now, Bella held onto that last sliver of Edward. Unknowingly, or not. She still had his heart. It was the only thing that allowed them to remain tethered. Bond or no, magic or nothingness, his heart would always be hers.

And it was a realization that made his soul spark with recognition. His heart was Bella's already. A fact that had angered Victoria enough to bother with this binding spell in the first place.

Edward's heart. That was what drove Victoria to the brink of sanity due to her lack of it. Including the love that resided within it.

So perhaps that was more than a need for the witch. Love could change Victoria's entire game, could shift how this nightmare ended. Even how their very world operated.

But Bella was speaking again, "Why? To inflate your already infinite power?"

Victoria shrugged, too busy stroking her own ego to notice that Edward was searching inward. Spiraling so deep inside himself in search of that one last place that was not hers.

His heart.

The love he had given Bella now forming a bridge between them. One he would drag himself over if it meant that he could warn her.

"There is nothing forcing me to tell you, but I will." Victoria said, "Just so I can see the look on your face once you realize you could have never saved him."

Bella's gaze flicked back to Edward, and he hoped she saw that he was fighting. All he needed was a bit more time to repair the bridge between them.

"Then stop gloating and tell me," Bella challenged, as Edward tried his best to steal back every nerve, vessel, and increment of himself. He would need all his strength to cast out the spell the witch had cast.

Enough to scream for Bella to run.

Still, that spell felt like the strongest wall inside his soul. It was built specifically between him and Bella's bond to separate his mate from him.

But he would break down that barrier if it meant doing it with his bare hands.

"Very well. Here it is," Victoria announced just as Bella's attention left Edward. But the curiosity in his mate's gaze gave him that last push.

The only magic Edward would give into was the one between him and Bella. So he burrowed deeper, not into his mind, but into that place inside his chest.

Right where his heart should have been beating.

In its stead, he found the unfathomable love he felt for Bella. That would be his power. Her own unconditional love propelling Edward to take back himself.

Victoria merely droned on.

"You are quite special, Bella Swan. Although I hate to admit it, you are in fact my only salvation. You are the key to a curse set on me almost a millennium ago. A curse that would not allow me to be loved or desired by any soul; human or faerie."

Edward was only dimly listening as he ripped down the wall Victoria had built. Beyond it, he knew he would find the heart-string that connected him to Bella. Just a bit more time and he would be across.

Thankfully, his mate realized as much. So Bella kept prodding the ignorant witch on,

"How could I be the salvation for such a curse?" Bella's voice was light in the dark. And Edward did well to concentrate on that, as he fought to restore that light inside himself, "Like you said, I am just a mere human."

Victoria's growled at that, "My dear sister was the one who cursed me. My sister, whose blood I would need to undo the magic she set upon me."

He knew this story. Victoria never shut up about it. But the part about the blood magic made him pause. That could never be good.

"Why would your own sister do such a thing?" Bella asked, and the crowd chuckled their answer.

Victoria only smiled.

"Because I had killed her love. He was a human, but she loved him so much she was willing to ruin our family and even give up her immortal life to marry him."

Edward's gaze flicked to the witch, then back to his mate. Desperately trying to connect the dots before anyone else could.

Why would Victoria want Bella so badly? He had always thought it because of their bond, and Victoria's vendetta against him and his refusal of her. But perhaps it was more than that.

The witch needed Bella's blood to break her own curse.

"That still doesn't explain why you need me," Bella said, and Victoria brought those cold eyes to his mate. And Edward could do nothing to stop it.

"Patience, for this is a fantastic story, and I don't want you to miss a bit of it." The crowd around them cackled again, and Edward used his last shred of patience to not slaughter each of them.

All he could do to help Bella was keep fighting inside himself.

"My dear sister was fire to my ice. Both of us daughters of the great king from a continent far away. We were destined for greatness; both could have any lover they could ever desire. But my sister, too kind and too forgiving, fell in love with not just a human, but a bastard."

That final word resonated inside him.

Bastard.

Unwanted, unlovable among his kind and his people. Yet only one person saw past all of that, and she was currently fighting for him against all odds.

But Edward had an awful feeling that Victoria had yet to reveal the worst of her story.

"I saw him for what he was. Just a conniving and selfish fool like the rest of your kin. So I set a trap to prove his real worth to my sister." Victoria explained with wretched sweetness.

"How?" Bella had yet to look his way, even as Edward felt each limb melt with relief. But he would coarse on. He needed to at least repair the connection between them. Enough to tell his Bella to flee and never look back.

"I disguised myself as a pretty servant girl, and made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

"So you slept with your sister's lover just to prove what?" Bella scoffed, and the guards growled their threat.

Edward clenched his teeth as each thread of their bond wove back together. Each strand that Victoria had cut were slowly fusing into his own. But it was not happening fast enough.

"To prove, my dear Bella that all humans are the same. You cannot love. You think you can, but it is only lust mixed with other minor emotions. You eventually grow bored and search for something else." Victoria knew she was close to winning. And as Edward looked to Bella's answer, his mate drew in a breath.

"You may think what you like, but it can't erase what I feel," Bella merely said with a cocked brow, and he wished to echo the sentiment.

"And yet you've never spoken of it." Victoria tisked, "He told you he loved you, that much I know because I have been inside his head, but you—" the witch stopped as her eyes appraised Edward, "—you haven't even said the words, yet you preach to me about what you feel for him."

Now it was Bella's time to go deathly frozen. Edward was doomed to remain a pedestrian throughout it all.

"Not even now will you confess your love? Pity, because that was the only way to set him free."

Edward had prepared himself for this moment. For Victoria to reveal to his mate what Bella could have done to save them.

But the anguish that rippled through Bella's face still made his soul ache.

' _Don't worry,_ _I know the truth,'_ Edward wanted to say. That despite what Victoria thought, he had come to know Bella's love, although carefully hidden perhaps too long, was still enough.

Anything his mate could give Edward, late or not at all, it would always be enough. But Bella's eyes were fixed with nothing but desolation and despair.

"It's true," Victoria astonished as both him and Bella were silent: lost in their regrets, "The curse that I put over his people—or the _blight,_ as they call it—could have been lifted if you just said those three little words. And meant them."

The realization had Bella drop to her knees. Edward watched the thought cross her beautiful features. Finally, her eyes went wide to him.

" _I know,"_ he pled with his own eyes. Because Edward had yet to become his entire self even as she spoke his name.

"Edward," Bella murmured. So much regret and love in that voice that it made his chest lighten and sink at the same time.

Edward had never wanted that burden to rest on her. Even through his selflessness, he wanted none of it on Bella's shoulders. Though it seemed as though it was destined to anyhow.

"Even if it means nothing, even if I'm too late. And even if—." she didn't let herself finish the thought before she murmured, "I want you to know, to _hear_ that no matter what they think, I—"

But Bella's breath was choked out of her before she could finish. Edward's body felt slack as her face drew from the torment. But his feet remained where they were.

But his anger erupted to the laughing bitch beside him, _'Let her go,'_ Edward ordered through Victoria's mind, but his voice was filled with dark power.

Victoria didn't even glance his way.

"Ah, ah, ah." The witch clicked her tongue instead, "You think you can say it _now_? You had your chance, and you failed."

Edward growled inwardly just as Bella snarled at Victoria with her last breath. It was filled with enough ferocity that his mate's face turned red.

' _Let her go! You retched bitch!'_ Edward roared through his mind, finally giving up his act. He had fought so hard to be believed by the witch. Even stooping low enough to take her bed. All in the hope to distract Victoria enough for her to forget about Bella.

But all of those plans disappeared as Edward watched as his mate heaved for air.

But Victoria gave no inclination she heard him. But still, she let Bella go with the snap of her fingers. And Edward watched his mate collapse into a heap on the floor.

But it was as if his feet were magnetized to the stone beneath them.

"And for the final reveal," Victoria spun on, "Just as you were the key to his chains, you are also the key to mine. Because Bella Swan is not just any half-breed, but the blood of my sister's line. And once your blood is shed, _my_ curse will be lifted. I can be desired and loved once more, and then the High Lord of the Night Court will truly be mine."

As the final climax was revealed, Edward realized fully how much they had run out of time.

For good, and for eternity.

But he only watched with dead eyes as they clasped iron shackles around Bella's wrists.

"Wait, wait!" his mate struggled against the binds, and Edward sensed the lick of power she tried to force outward. But the iron had silenced her breathtaking magic.

And he could have misted every single one of them for dousing his mate's flames.

He could only watch as her hands spread to reach out to grab him. Those two guards hauled her further and further from him.

Edward's vision edged with black as he tasted the fear on his tongue: that Bella would now be killed. It was so overwhelming that it threatened to consume him

He had dealt with so much fear in his life. Fear of not being good enough from his soiled lineage. Or fear of not being able to serve his people in case they saw the monster underneath. The monster that was more of a curse than anything the witch had cast.

Finally, the fear that his mate could never be safe with him. Or worse, that she could never love the male along with the beast.

But Edward would not let fear consume him in those last moments. Not as he watched Bella fight tooth and nail only to get one more glimpse of him.

"Why would I wait when I have everything I've ever wanted?" Victoria spoke, "The most powerful High Lord in history is now finally mine, and the heir of my sworn enemy is about to be killed!"

His horror grew in his gut as Victoria revealed a blade at her side. The guards that held his mate started to drag Bella to where the witch sneered with sickening pleasure.

No. Bella would not be slaughter like some pig. Edward shot out a hand to block them from bringing his mate any closer, but nothing happened.

It was then that Edward more heard than felt that final fabric of his heart intertwine. It was soft as a whisper yet loud as a rock slide as his and Bella's connection was reborn.

More like re-hewn in the very bedrock of their souls.

Whatever instinct or anger he felt, it had restored the bond, forcing out any lick of fear from Edward as warm brown eyes met his.

Bella's eyes; meeting his own in full color for the first time in five centuries.

"Because I wouldn't want you to miss this," his mate smirked just as Edward felt his anger slither up his hand and up to his shoulder; commanding his muscles to take control from his mind once more.

As he drew the dagger from Victoria's side, Edward finally stabbed the bitch in the heart.

Shock.

That was the only thing he saw in her evil gray eyes as Edward watched every bit of power dissipate from Victoria's dying body.

The witch had almost taken everything from him. Family and friends; magic and power. She had nearly taken all of his soul. But not his love. No, that was where she had failed.

So he did nothing but stare dazed as Victoria fell onto her own iron blade. No, not dazed. It seemed as if the world went dim around him.

Because Edward was falling.

His heart had gone silent only after it had re-started. He was barely able to glance down to the blade embedded in his own chest. But he instantly knew who had thrown it.

James.

The slithering snake had been watching Edward when no one else had. He should have known the pathetic worm would have been jealous of Victoria's attention on him.

It was then Edward heard an earth-shattering scream echo through the hall as his eyes slipped shut.

The muscles that had only just become his once again gave one final rebellion to the witch that had controlled them. They let the blade slip across Victoria's neck. Keeping the vow to tear the witch's throat for having ever uttered a word against Bella.

And then Edward's body gave out for good.

This sort of oblivion was different. It was warm and pleasant. And his body actually heated under that mysterious light.

He didn't know exactly where the source was coming from. Perhaps that other darkness he had felt with Victoria had been hell, and this was heaven.

Whatever it was, Edward merely smiled against the warmth that drifted across his forehead, against his right cheek. He couldn't help but lean further into that phantom touch.

But that warmth turned red-hot as it came to his chest. And even if his body remained immovable, he still heard the voice that drifted into his consciousness,

"You can't leave me because I love you—and because you're mine."

Love.

Mine.

Edward hummed his response. They were the two words he had always wanted to hear. He had always wanted to be loved, to be claimed as someone else's. Beast and all.

Perhaps this was heaven.

But the next words that came were far less kind, "You hear me you rutting bastard?"

His mind jolted at those words…at that voice.

"I love you."  
Bella.

She was there, not in whatever place Edward was in, but she was on the other side, desperately trying to pull him back.

And then he felt it. Just a flicker at first. He wasn't even sure he recognized what was coursing through his veins.

But it continued through him, banishing out any cold or unfeeling. Instead, it replaced that grayness of his curse with life and happiness.

That same warmth was now rushing through his soul like unstoppable wildfire. So severe that it made him cough on his own.

Edward suddenly couldn't take in enough air. His chest felt like it was going to melt from the sheer power of those flames.

And then he opened his eyes. And every bit of gray receded. The darkness and shadow he had been doomed to see the world through were now exiled.

Color.

The most vibrant of color as he studied the flickering torches that lined the stone wall. The warmth of the gold of the flames was the first thing he saw before his attention rested to the brown hair that tickled his face.

No, not brown. But a mix of burnished bronze and the most profound deepest earth.

Warmth. As the locks shifted, his breath caught to find the most breathtaking eyes residing underneath.

They were mixed with tears and awe as they beheld him. The eyes Edward had dreamed of seeing every single night since holding her in his arms.

Bella.


	22. Chapter 22

"Please, please," Bella begged again, and Edward coughed, trying not to moan from the pressure of her pulling him closer; the wound in his chest jolting his body with pain.

That agony turned overwhelming as Bella pulled the dagger from his heart, fussing over him with what could only be described as hysteria. Her hands shook as they went to his forehead. Even shakier as they settled to the wound in his chest.

But Edward still hadn't woken. Not for real at least.

 _I'm still here,_ Edward groaned internally. He wanted to open his mouth and say as such, but he could barely hold onto the magic that allowed him to watch her with eyes shut.

He was having an out of body experience, Edward realized. Doomed again, to watch his mate curse and sob as she looked at him, and then her shackles. And he could do nothing to help.

Edward couldn't even speak through the bond he had rebuilt. There was still a film covering the gateway across the bridge. And just as Bella's eyes fell to her heavy shackles, it clicked in his head what was causing it.

Iron.

Victoria hadn't just controlled Edward through his mind. The witch had debilitated both his judgment and movement by lacing his food and water with iron. One of the only weaknesses of Fae.

He dimly wondered if this was what dying felt like, floating with only that dull ache in his chest. Perhaps the only reason he could see Bella now was because it was his last charitable gift from the gods.

To see Bella in color for one last time.

But Bella was not giving up that easily. Edward heard her curse loudly and colorfully when she couldn't find what she was looking for in the pocket of a fallen guard. But that only brought her sliding over to him, cradling Edward in those warm arms once more.

Before he had time to memorize the feeling of her skin against him or the heartbreaking sound of her sobs, Bella tugged open his already ripped tunic.

He felt his hiss, even if Bella couldn't hear Edward's distress as she flustered over his lifeless body. "No, this can't be right," she murmured, trembling now as she tried to stench the oozing blood, "Stay with me, Edward," Bella said, as she actually took his shoulders in her hands and shook him.

But it only spread more pain through his body. Still, he couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Even though he had killed the witch and had rebuilt his and Bella's bond…

Something was terribly wrong.

"Fine. Are you really going to make me do this?" Bella said. And Edward thoughts went soft as she wiped the dagger clean and aimed it at her wrist.

' _Bella, no!'_ Edward shouted, but only the soundless void heard his cry. Because Bella was already slicing the blade across her porcelain skin.

"If it's clean blood you need, that's what you're going to get," she growled, hurriedly guiding his mouth to where her scent was already calling him.

As her blood hovered against his lips, the bond beckoned Edward to taste. And just like all the other times when it came to Bella, he was hopeless to resist her.

He let the metallic tinge coat his tongue, but her essence was so much more than that. Tasting Bella in the most animalistic of ways made him groan internally. She was as heavenly as he remembered, sweet and sharp; soft and hard at the same time.

And he couldn't help but suck harder.

Hot coals washed down his throat. His mate's blood liquid fire as it thawed his heart and healed his broken body. And soon enough, he felt his muscles once again become pliable; his thoughts turning clearer as every single element in his body went taught.

The bond. It was fully intact. Edward knew because he felt it thunder through him like a bolt of lightning. So electric that his eyes fluttered open for real this time.

What he saw was his mate clutching his tired body, tears streaming down her face as Bella angled her head towards the gods.

He tentatively brought his hands to her face. She was even more vibrant of color now that the veil of iron was washed from his blood. But Bella's eyes were still shut.

"Bella," Edward murmured, daring to stroke his thumb across her cheek. Feeling and savoring her softness as well as washing her tears away.

But she didn't look at him.

It was then his gaze caught the vibrancy of his own skin. Tan and healthy. No more gray dullness from that terrible curse. Victoria's spell had truly been lifted.

Bella only cried harder, pushing her wrist to where he could feel her blood still on his lips.

"Bella, love, that's enough," Edward said, urging his voice into softness.

"No, you're still not strong enough," she said, urging him to take more. He merely dragged his lips over the cut, light as a feather, so Bella couldn't feel her skin being healed by his magic.

Her eyes were still locked shut and Edward didn't know why. He only wanted to see those brown eyes again.

"Bella, just open your eyes," Edward urged. She did, but not at him, careful to keep her them downcast.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," she whimpered, and his newly healed heart stilled at her voice. She blamed herself, "I had the power to break the curse all along, and I didn't. I was so stupid and selfish, and you deserve so much better."

"Bella, love. Please look at me," He knew not how to make her believe the words. Only soothed her crying with broad sweeps of his hand down her hair. The brown locks were soft and warm, just like her.

"You, Alice, Jasper and everyone, they could have been freed months ago if—" she cut herself off as she clutched at his palm. And Edward could only watch with drawn brows as Bella kissed his knuckles fiercely, "Forgive me, I—"

She paused at that, and Edward realized that she must have seen his skin. No longer gray but full of color and health. His mate's head slowly rose to look at him then, and those brown eyes he loved so much, widened.

"Wha—what is this?" Bella tentatively fingered the hair along his forehead, and his magic yawned open from her touch, "Why do you look so different from your portrait?"

Edward didn't know exactly how to explain it, so all he said was, "Victoria and my father: they did a number on me. But that's all over now."

She nodded at that. But he couldn't stop looking at her.

The way her thick hair fell across her shoulders, or the arch of her dark brows as she too, took in Edward. Never would he have enough time to study each new vision that color granted him.

"You're back," she murmured. And Edward smiled. Feeling the canines he had once lost from the curse prick against his bottom lip. He preened to know he was himself again. Whole.

Bella had made him so.

"I'm back," he couldn't say anything else. The sight of his mate making him speechless.

Edward let his touch speak for him, dragging his fingers across her blushing cheeks. They had filled with color as soon as he had smiled at her. But feeling the heat of her skin made thunder rumble in his gut.

Finally, they could be together. "And even though I've seen your eyes in color once before, nothing compares to seeing them like this." He said softly

She blushed deeper then, her gaze flicking to where his lips parted. Edward yearned to taste each and every part that blush reached.

But first, he wanted to feel her rosy lips against his. He wanted to pull every little whisper and moan he could from her mouth. Over and over again from then, until eternity.

So Edward did.

Slow at first. Because he wanted to savor this kiss like no kiss before. Because it was like nothing else as his lips brushed over hers. Bella let out a tiny moan just as Edward deepened it.

His mate opened to him, sliding her tongue ever so slowly against his. And a spark shot from his lips to every crevice of his body when Bella's hands twined in his hair.

Edward hadn't realized how dull his senses had been during the curse. Because now, as their tongues and lips partook in their delicious dance, it was as if their souls joined as well.

Edward broke from her before they ventured into dangerous territory. That border was looming closer and closer every moment. Even if Edward knew it deep in his bones that his mate was ripe for the taking…Bella had no idea about any of it. The mating bond. Their history.

But every thought of waiting left his head when he found Bella's chest heavy, her lips swollen from the intensity. And her dazed eyes only focusing enough to catch him staring.

"I thought you were stunning in black and white, but now—" Edward's felt a growl build deep in his chest, "Bella, I don't think I'll ever get used to it." The words were the utter truth. No matter the length of the years: mere moments or limitless eternities they spent together, Edward would ache for more time with Bella.

She merely scoffed, her attention resting on the skin of his arms. Perhaps sensing the newly restored magic underneath. The power that was starting to beg to play with hers…

Their mating bond.

"Me too," she said instead. Finally trailing a hand down that very arm. And a shiver drove its ways down his spine, before resting rather uncomfortably in his groin. "You're so dark," she giggled at the brazen words, and Edward's arousal flared like wildfire.

Bella's wildfire. But he covered his desire with a low chuckle.

"Gods, I forgot that you're bleeding," Bella suddenly cried, spreading open his shirt to find the wound already closing itself. She scowled slightly, "Still, we need to get you out of here."

Edward tried not to grunt as she helped him stand, "I'm fine. The iron in my blood has dissipated enough, so my body has started to heal itself," he said to erase the worry in her eyes. But those dark eyes only narrowed on him.

"Edward Cullen, you just had to drink my blood like a Gods-damned vampire. You are not fine," she scolded, as he did well to conceal his laughter.

But that laughter dissipated, replaced by wonder as Edward could do nothing but stare at the ferocity in her features. She furrowed her brow in meaning, but he merely tucked a stray piece of hair that had escaped behind her ear.

He couldn't help it and he would take every little opportunity to touch her. And he would have liked to think Bella softened a bit for it. His mate, curling to his touch.

"No, I'm more than fine," Edward said, "I may have been under that bitch's control, but I still remember all of it. What you said, what you did." He felt the words clench inside his chest as he took her hands in hers.

Never had she stopped fighting for him. Even when it almost became the end. And Edward would not stop repaying Bella for it.

He traced the pad of his finger along her palm, memorizing the lines and indents of it. He drifted up her wrist, gently turning her hand over to where she had split open her skin for him.

He hushed his breath over that very spot. Depositing the gentlest of kisses before his gaze locked to hers, "You saved all of us today." Edward said, "And not just your fire magic, but _you,_ Bella. Your unwillingness to give up, that spark inside you was what freed my people and me."

She was silently crying again, which only worsened when Edward bent to his knees.

"My life is now yours," he vowed as her lips started to tremble. For if he could not tell her the truth of their bond, he could still promise himself to her, "I am your servant, Bella. Heart and soul, now and until the end of time."

She kissed his knuckles again and his skin seared under her lips, "Thank you," she said. His mate managing to give him a smile through her tears.

Still, it was soft and gracious. Distracting him enough to allow Bella to help him pull Edward to his feet. It was then his gaze fell to her shackles with a frown.

"But first, let's get you out of these irons and then we can get out of this Gods-forsaken place." He said, looking to the near-empty hall. Save for the bodies of Victoria and James.

Edward hadn't remembered how the sleazy snake had died. He couldn't have cared to know of it either way.

"I couldn't agree more," Bella said only after surveying the hall for herself. Edward merely tugged her hand in his, finding himself able to get used to the way their fingers twined together.

He couldn't take his eyes from where they were bound. A physical metaphor for what he felt deep in his soul.

Could he tell her the length of their connection? That not just love linked them together, or the tragedy of the curse…But something far more profound that was woven into the fabric of density.

Or would he keep it buried inside himself? For he had just set Bella free of her great burden. No longer would she be hunted for the magic in her blood. At least if Edward could help it.

So how could he bear to shackle Bella once more with their mating bond, only after she had been set free?

But all those wonders halted as his mate smiled up at Edward to pronounce, "Let's go home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They walked calmly hand in hand from the great mountain den. But Edward got the feeling both of their steps were hurried. Both of them wanting to put behind them what exactly happened in that darkened court.

The more he racked his memory, the more Edward remembered Bella choking out James with nothing but her hands and shackles. And he…

He had growled while slitting Victoria's throat. But it was as if her stanching blood still coated his hands.

Thankfully, Bella broke the deafening silence as they parted the mountain's shadow to come under the choking black sky. No star in sight. But still, they were finally both free.

"How are we getting home?" Bella asked. And Edward's head swam with the several answers he could give her.

With his magic at his full disposal, he could fly them home. He could announce to his friends and family that his mate had been found.

But where exactly was home?

Spring or Night?

Light or Dark.

Whatever the choice, Edward could simply will them to be there. Using his restored magic to part both time and space and weave through whatever distance they needed to travel; all in mere seconds.

But such delicate sort of travel was not for the faint of heart. And Edward didn't want to vomit in front of his mate because it had been half a century since he had used his full power.

So whatever the choice, they would have to do it the old-fashioned way.

But the bigger issue, perhaps the one that had made Edward pause in the first place, was what to tell Bella of their bond.

They, of course, could return to the Spring Court. To the place they had first fallen in love. Edward would have liked to think Bella came to accept the Spring Court more than her real home in the human realm. There, they could live in peace. No responsibilities of the Night Court, no burden of their bond to be dealt with.

Yet he felt things were different for Edward; for them. Their mating bond was newly repaired. And it had been nearly a quarter-century since he had even acknowledged it.

But now that he had that, instinct was screaming at him to take; to claim the female currently walking beside him.

And claim the other part of himself. The Night Court ... his true home.

Despite what stories told, it wasn't as horrible as everyone liked to think. The mountain lair Victoria had taken as a base only adding to the rouse. Because the kingdom his real father had handed Edward was quite the opposite of what the witch had wanted to paint.

That's how Victoria and the rest of the world had always remained ignorant to the Night Court's true operation. Simply due to his sacrifices and all the other High Lords before him.

In actuality, his homeland was colorful and booming with culture. Blossoming with people who had been protected under the last shred of power Edward sent out before the curse. And that marrow deep in his bones, marrow he shared with every High Lord before him… it urged him to take what was rightfully his.

With his mate at his side.

But would Bella be able to look past the dark legends of his Kingdom and realize the truth for herself? After all, she had fallen in love with the idea of him. Their bond was real, Edward knew that, but could she fall out of love with the Lord of Light from the Spring Court, and accept her mate was actually the Lord of Night?

Edward merely cleared his throat, "We're not going to the Spring Court just yet, at least not tonight." They could find shelter along the way. It would be a far cry of where he was currently thinking of bringing Bella. But he couldn't possibly bombard her with his true court after what they had just gone through.

Could he?

"Then where are we staying?" Bella asked tentatively, but still followed his lead further into the woods. Further from that nightmarish court. And closer to Edward's, ever-debatable decision.

Should he trust his instincts and take his mate to his homeland? Or stay the course and bring them back to the Spring Court. Safe and unchanging to what they both knew.

Either way, Bella sensed the hesitation, "Edward, where are we going?" she called just as a stable came into view. The only sign of normalcy under Victoria's Court of Nightmares.

There was a single lamp lit; his newly heightened senses hearing the soft neighing of horses that waited to take them where they wanted to go. South to the Spring, which was known, or North towards Night in the unknown.

Edward could debate it all he liked. Would Bella ever be ready to see his true world, true family and accept their bond? Or accept the friends he had been forced to leave behind? Any of it would be a lot for her to take in.

And both of them had already been through so much.

Perhaps his own court didn't want him back. Edward had barely been able to keep contact with his inner circle during the curse due to his grief. So much he had left behind, friends and family alike. Spending years thinking he would never live to see the day it was all restored to him.

Until now.

Until Bella.

But he knew deep down, his decision had been made the minute he opened his eyes after the curse and saw her.

Light to his dark.

His match.

Edward's mate.

So whatever choice was there but to let Bella see every part of himself?

He took in a deep breath and met her questioning eyes, letting the words announce themselves, "I'm taking you to my real home."

And he swore Bella's eyes sparked brighter to hear them, "I've always wanted to see it." she said. And he merely smiled. Leaving his musing of the mating bond there.

That would be enough.

She was enough.

Edward merely nodded to the stables, "Unfortunately, I'm too weak to transport us there with my magic. So for now, we'll go on horseback. I hope you don't mind."

"I remember a particular horse ride we took together that I had no choice but to deal with," Bella said with knowing eyes. Edward managed to laugh at the reminder. The tightness of their circumstance leaving them the longer he was in her presence.

"Yes, I also remember that one, you weren't in a particularly good mood."

"Could you blame me?"

"No," he chuckled, "But I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me, Bella. For all that I've done," he said a bit more seriously.

"You know I already have," she said, "And I yearn to come to know the High Lord you really are. Whoever that may be."

His heart clenched, "Thank you, Bella." He met her eyes in the low moonlight. Pressing his lips against her knuckles with a slow, promising kiss.

And fire sparked in her eyes.

But the heat in his mate's gaze was halted when they reached the stable's entrance. Bella let out a huff at the sight of the waiting horses.

"Is there no inn where we could spend another night, instead?" she peered over to him, and Edward steeled in a steadying breath.

The reminder of the night they shared together; he read the look in Bella's eyes.

"Not one close enough fit for my—" he paused, almost letting the word slip past, "—I mean, not anything that I would want to bring you to."

Bella seemed to accept that.

And Edward was glad for it. Now that their bond was re-made, it was somehow stronger. Another very different inner beast screaming at him to do what he must to claim her as his. But he would wait.

Edward would not force his mate to accept him. Either Bella would come to realize it at her own pace, or not at all.

"We could wait until you regained your strength and then go to the closest inn," Bella suddenly said, somehow reading his thoughts as she brushed a hand along his upper arm. Edward's skin rose from the fire of her touch; her words.

"Bella, love, believe me when I say I want nothing more than to be with you," Edward's eyes fell to her slightly dazed expression, "But there is nothing to be found for tens of miles."

Bella pouted at that, and Edward felt a very different kind of beast roar inside of him. Gods help him.

"Please, just pick a horse, and you will soon be warm and comfortable in a bed." He clarified. Nodding towards the several stables, hoping his voice sounded a bit convincing.

Truth be told, Edward was finding his mate's presence more spellbinding than all of Victoria's curses combined. But he would wait. Bella deserved him to.

"Fine," she conceded with a breath, turning her attention to the several horses, "That one," she pointed to a horse whose coat rivaled the night in itself.

Edward smiled, taking her hand as they walked over to the dashing steed.

It neighed softly as Bella came to stroke its nose; Edward simply watched his mate whisper kind and gentle words to the animal.

And he could hardly believe they had made it. Out of the dull grayness of the curse. Or free from the dark nightmare that was under that mountain with Victoria.

Now their lives were splayed out before him. Edward was free from his bindings. No more shame and rejection rested on him any longer. Because unknowing or not, Bella had accepted him as hers.

So Edward knew he could face the world. If only they were together.

"Well?" Bella turned to him with upturned brows, "Are we going to get on our way? Or are you just going to stare?"

"Both," he smiled, and she scoffed. "You thought I was joking when I said I would never get used to you?" he asked, forcing his legs past his mate to saddle up the steed as she waited.

"There's not much to get used to, I am as I was before," Bella said.

Edward shook his head, "You were always beautiful in black in white. Now you're just overwhelming."

"Is that a compliment?" she teased, but Edward got the distinct impression she was because his mate wasn't used to getting showered with praise.

"You tell me. What do you think of me now in full color?"

Bella's eyes flicked from his face to his body. And he swore her breath halted, "You're more than overwhelming. It will take years for me to get used to you like this," she said.

 _Years._

She wished for as much with him. But Edward left that particular comment there; merely flicking a brow, "See? I feel that way towards you, and more. So get used to the compliments, because you will be nothing but adored when around me," he said earnestly.  
"I guess that's nothing to scowl at," she smiled, "But you're still stalling," Bella angled her head to where he had stopped saddling.

"Is it so bad I want it to stay like this a bit longer?"

"Like what?"

"When you're only mine," Edward couldn't help the selfish thought from making itself known, "And I don't yet have to share you with the rest of them."

"The rest of them?" Bella cocked her head, "You mean your true court?"

He did nothing but watch as Bella joined him in the stable, coming to give his shoulder a tight squeeze. Then her lips pressed against the spot where her hand had been.

"I will always be yours, Edward," she said, "And you will always be mine. No one could ever change that."

He nodded again, his chest too tight to answer. Did Bella know what her words did to him? That Edward had dreamt of hearing such words from her ever since they met? And still, the bond commanded more.

For him to make it official between them. Yet Edward continued to ignore it.

"Then let's go," he said instead.

Edward quickly saddled his own horse. And only before trying to help his mate mount—Bella refused, saying she could do it herself—they were packed with food and water and ready to see the side of Edward he had kept hidden for half a century.

With Bella, who didn't even know she was his mate.

Yet.

Edward was wondering when to spring it on her. Because that was exactly how the news would sound after their strange courtship. Not to mention their near-death experience under that dreadful mountain.

So Edward decided to distract himself, "Can I see it?" he suddenly asked Bella after a few minutes of silence. He hoped she understood his meaning.

Sure enough, his mate nodded wordlessly, just as something sparked within her fingers. Her magic slowly spread along her arms. Wondrous, colorful flames that heated Edward's face, and shoulders. Among other parts of himself…

"It's beautiful," he said, ' _Just like you,'_ he wished to say. But he knew she would only scoff.

So he did nothing but wonder at her sheer control, "Have you tried anything else, such as creating shapes?" Edward felt himself slowly becoming hypnotized by her magic. His mate's power something to awe, but also something to fear. But he couldn't bring himself to care.

He merely moved his horse closer to run his fingers through a lick of flames. And Bella had no time to seize her hand away as the fire seemed to dance around his skin ...every inch of it remaining unmarred.

"Just as I suspected," Edward murmured, as Bella's eyes locked to his. He smiled at her, wiggling his fingers so she could see he was unharmed. For mates could not harm each other.

"But how?" she breathed, "I mean, my magic usually burns people on contact. At least from what little experience I have had with it."

 _Because we're mates,_ Edward clenched his jaw as he watched her magic brush higher up his hand to reach his wrist. And he swore it hushed its own recognition. _I know,_ it breathed along his skin.

Bella however, was looking at him with great skepticism. "Care to share?" she quirked a brow as Edward looked back to his hand.

"Some other time, perhaps."

Her mouth opened like she was about to object, but something stopped her, "Are you ever going to tell me where we are going or am I just supposed to accept it like when you first kidnapped me?"

Another smart reminder, a taste of Bella's steadfast strength throughout all this. The Spring Court, where he had so desperately tried to keep her at arm's length. And failed.

Edward was now keeping her at arm's length again, by hiding their mating bond. And he had no doubt he would fail in that aspect again. But he just wanted a bit more time as a normal couple.

Even if no part of their situation was even slightly usual. He would savor the look of Bella's eyes as she viewed him as nothing but her Edward. No High Lord or mate. Just the two of them, loving each other.

"I told you, we're going home," he said. _We're._ It was an idea he could get used to. Even if Bella was going with him as nothing more than his love.

Mating bonds could wait. They first needed to get used to each other. Their lives at the Spring Court were sought with grief and lies. And as that unraveled, it was best the least complications there were with it.

First, they would get used to living curse-free without the threat of Victoria looming over them.

Then they could talk mating bond.

Edward would only be exuberant if one day, Bella decided to spend whatever time she had left as his wife. And nothing more. Just Edward as her husband. Anything she gave, Edward would gladly take and honor as the gift it was.

But he couldn't say the same for his court. In the short time Edward had lived in the Night Court, he had made fierce friends. Such relations would sense what Bella was to their High Lord. Not just lover and curse-breaker, but mate.

Some already knew that Edward had hunted down his mate long ago. And as soon as any of his friends scented Bella, they would know.

That she was his equal.

A High Lady fit to rule by his side.

And some of his friends had particularly loud mouths. Edward only prayed to the gods they would keep it closed long enough for him to explain that Bella didn't know about the bond.

"But under the mountain, that was the Night Court, was it not?" Bella said, effectively interrupting his thoughts.

Edward paused at what to tell her. His life had become twisted with so many lies and deceit. And it was an effort to detangle them in a way that Bella could understand.

"No, that was a carefully constructed act I put together for the protection of my people," he said, "And then Victoria came and corrupted it with her followers."

"So that wasn't real?" Bella said rather sternly, and he sensed the question in her words. Just like in her human world, the Night Court had a reputation for fear and violence. And now Edward was attempting to wipe that all away in the hopes Bella would accept him along with it.

"No, Bella," he said, "I once had a life, something beyond the Spring Court. The part of me you've seen for months…that in its own right was also pretend." He waited, watching as his mate blinked in shock. The words seeping in as he rushed to clarify.

"I know what you're thinking. I know this wasn't what you imagined as your life, but I want you to know that I love you Bella, more than life, more than anything,"

She swallowed thickly, and he did the same before continuing, "And I will tell you everything. But the truth requires a bit more time."

Time.

Something Edward had learned to be more precious than the stars. And now that Bella had found her magic, and she was revealed to be a demi-Fae, Edward hoped he had at least a half-century to spend with her.

Because, mate bond or no, that's all he cared about. More time with his beloved Bella.

She simply nodded, smiling through the sudden tears in her eyes, "I love you, too. I don't care who you had to be, or the person you might have to become. We will figure this out, together."

Edward smiled at her promise, repeating the words and locking them away in his heart. Finally, his eyes met hers, and he saw it: the unspoken bond they felt for each other. Beyond fate and the Gods, they shared something deeper than female and male.

Perhaps they were one after all.

He merely swallowed those feelings that were making themselves harder and harder to conceal, "Come on," Edward urged his horse faster, as Bella did the same, "Let's get going before we completely freeze."


	23. Chapter 23

"Just one more thing," Bella gave him a sidelong glance as she caught up with him.

He paused, fearing and hoping for her realization at the same time. That she felt the mating bond as much as Edward did. But all his mate said was, "Is all your magic back yet?"

Edward let out a sigh of not-quite-relief. He hadn't pictured telling Bella about their mating bond in the middle of the night, surrounded by nothing but snow and mountains.

"I'm afraid not," was all he said, "It'll take a few more days for the excess iron leave my blood completely. Why do you ask?" He gave her a concerned once over. It was then that he felt soft hands stroke his mind. They were warm as sunlight. And his consciousness jolted awake at the feeling. Including something else…

' _What_ _about this, does it still work?'_ Bella asked through their thoughts. Edward made sure his dark chuckle brushed across her mind as well as other parts of her body before he answered.

' _Yes, love, it still works,'_ he smiled inwardly, letting the feeling warm along their bond, _'Are you just testing, or do you have to tell me something the horses can't hear?'_

' _Perhaps,'_ Bella answered, as Edward saw all her other thoughts dissipate until only one image filled his mate's head.

The memory of the both of them at the inn. The way Bella had felt with him. Edward knew the feelings were as tangible as his own as he stifled a groan.

Then those feelings were replaced with memories of her pleasure, as the Edward gripped his reins tighter.

But Bella did not let up. She pictured lying with him again; imagined the feeling of Edward's hands all over her body. To consume each other's heart and soul, until there was no telling where her body ended and his started.

Then Bella imagined something far more serious. Of not just his hands and lips extracting her pleasure, but their bodies merging as they never had before.

Edward couldn't help but purr at the picture. Of how her breathing would tremble against his own, how she would feel wrapped around him. How he would roar loud enough to crumble the earth once they were fully joined. He and his mate finally sharing that most intimate of claiming.

And then it was gone. In one moment it was there in his head, and another, his mate closed her mind to him.

Edward only turned to see Bella's coy smile, a dark growl ripping low from his chest in warning, "Those are very dangerous thoughts, Bella," he said. She quirked a brow.

"I don't think so," his mate shrugged, her own voice dripping with seduction.

"Well, then why don't we—" Edward's inner beast now spoke. The part of him that wanted to shout their mating bond across the mountains. The darkness that would have Bella screaming the same thing for the rest of the world to hear as Edward took her over and over…

It was then a far different voice entered his mind. Edward foolishly leaving his thoughts wide open from Bella's distracting yearnings…

But Edward recognized the loud chuckle even before he spoke.

' _I knew you were due_ _to_ get _laid after fifty years, but I never thought it would be this pathetic as refusing your own mate,_ ' a familiar voice mocked _._ And Edward stilled. He knew that voice, even if he hadn't heard it in half a century.

' _And yet, here you are, ruining everything, even now,'_ Edward returned easily. Loud, boisterous laughter answered him back, just as a dark figure dropped from the treetops.

He would recognize the male on stance alone. For he had fought alongside Edward on not just battlefields.

Emmett. His friend. A fellow warrior from the 500-year-war. More like a brother than anything.

' _Gods, you haven't changed in the slightest,'_ Emmett silently mocked as he strode toward them. Edward heard Bella suck in a breath; his mate's eyes narrowing on the figure.

"Who are you?"she ordered just as Edward saw her hand ignite with white-hot fire.

"Bella love, it's all right." Edward hushed, keenly ignoring his friend's knowing gaze, "He's a friend of mine. More like a brother, actually. Like Jasper, you can trust him."

"A friend?" Bella murmured. Emmett grinned from the darkness.

"Bella, meet Emmett of the Night Court," Edward said. Emmett finally came into the moonlight, bowed deeply at his introduction. Bella only measured the new male with wary eyes.

"So lovely to finally meet you, Bella," Emmett purred, "It's an honor to meet such a beautiful demi-Fae as yourself."

Bella blinked at his word: _Demi- Fae,_ a term for someone like Bella who was human, but more. But she recovered her surprise quickly, "It's odd to see something pleasant come from the Night Court for once." As soon as she words came out of her mouth, her eyes flicked to Edward; remembering that he himself was not only from the same court. But High Lord.

But Edward didn't dare brush that subject now as he turned to his friend, "Aren't you a little far from home, Emmett? You shouldn't be out so close after the curse has been lifted," Edward warned. But the silent order still resided underneath; Emmett shouldn't be here. Not so shortly after everything that had happened.

Victoria, and the mating bond now being fully intact.

Bella was too volatile.

"Don't worry about me, I just had to see for myself," Emmett beamed, pointing his eyes to Bella.

"See what?" she asked.

' _Could you not make this any harder than it_ _already is?'_ Edward warned his friend through their minds. Emmett keenly ignored him.

"I came to see you, milady," Emmett said with a grand sweep of his eyes.

Bella looked less than convinced, "Why?"

"Because the instant I felt my High Lord's bond to you, I came flying to see for myself. Understand, the others aren't as fast as me. And I have a particular fondness for being first," Emmett winked.

Bella sucked in a breath. And Edward knew what word startled her.

Bond.

Edward could do nothing but wait as she spun to him, "What bond?"

He quieted his groan, "Emmett, since I haven't seen you in fifty years, I'm going to ask you this nicely: Could you please shut up for once?"  
"That was the nice way of putting it?" Emmett feigned offense, "Can't imagine what the mean way would have been," Emmett looked to Bella then, "I hope he treats you better than that. After all, you are ma—"

"Emmett!" Edward shouted, "Choose your next words wisely."

But Bella was putting the pieces together as she gave him a questioning glare. Edward cleared his throat.

"Fine," Emmett beamed, "It's is so lovely to meet you, Bella. Consider me your servant as much I am sure Edward already is."

"I suppose it's nice to meet you too," she said, but her voice was still filled with hesitation. She was confused; Edward saw it in her face. Bella was so desperately trying to figure out why Edward was so on guard, and why Emmett was being so cheeky.

"If you wanted to show off so much, Emmett, how about you winnow Bella home?" Edward suggested, effectively changing the subject.

"I thought your magic was back?" Emmett said.

"Not fully. So you will have the honor of carrying Bella home. But be careful though, she has just come into her power. Although I admit I wouldn't mind if she accidentally burnt you in your ass," Edward said with meaning, and he felt Bella's mild humor through their bond.

"What does winnow mean?" Bella asked. Emmett only looked to Edward for his version of an explanation.

"It's much like the magic I used in the Spring Court," Edward said, "To make our meals appear. I'm still too weak to do it with our bodies. But Emmett here could have you somewhere safe and fed in an instant."

Bella pondered that, measuring Emmett's wide grin in the process, "That sounds nice, but I'm not going leave you behind," she said, giving Edward a stern glare. His friend was only grinning ear to ear as he came closer.

"You can survive without Edward for a while," Emmett said, "I have a feeling you are more than capable of fending for yourself," the male drawled with a devious grin.

"You would be correct," Bella said, "But I would like to know exactly where we're going?"

"Someplace with better company," Emmett said, flicking his head towards Edward.

"You will only be gone for a moment. Go, and I will follow," Edward said when Bella turned to him in question.

"Yes, I can take you somewhere warm, Bella," Emmet said, "Then, I promise, I will come back for his sorry ass," he nodded towards Edward before smiling, "Actually, I might just leave our precious High Lord here, since he was so rude to me. Maybe then, you and I could get more acquainted. If Edward doesn't want to accept your mating bond, that doesn't mean I—"

But there were no more words as Edward punched Emmett square in the face. He went down hard as Bella gasped; the snow parting to account for his friend's hulking body.

But Emmett was already on his feet, smiling through the blood pouring from his nose.

"Finally! I was surprised you hadn't snapped sooner!" Emmett cheered, his own magic quickly healed the injury before the red could stain his shirt.

"Why am I not surprised?" he said. Edward didn't care whatever motive Emmett might have been pushing. Because as he turned, Edward found his mate's face drawn into confusion.

"Mating bond?" she repeated, her eyes telling him that she was slowly putting the pieces together. "So, that's what you've been dancing around. Are we mates?"

"Leave. Now," Edward gave Emmett the order under his breath. But Bella caught the anger; the possession.

"Edward, answer me," Bella pressed again, and his heart fell at the hurt in her voice.

"Let me explain," was all he said. From the corner of Edward's eyes, he saw Emmett had the good sense to look regretful.

Edward merely ignored his boastful friend, as he glanced to Bella's hands. Thankfully they were still skin and flesh.

But the horses moved nervously, as did Emmett. They could feel the shudder of her magic as much as Edward could.

Anger, deceit. All of those powerful emotions would be the fuel to Bella's loss of temper. And that spelled danger for everyone in the vicinity.

Edward merely held out a comforting hand to try and calm her. But Bella backed away, the snow starting to melt with each step his mate took.

Edward felt what was coming. The eruption of her magic. It was a miracle she had held it back this long. And he had an inkling Bella's would melt the entire forest when she finally burst forth.

And even if Edward couldn't be harmed by her magic, that didn't mean Emmett was immune. And ass or no, Edward did want his friend melting for his mistake.

"Emmet, leave. Now," Edward ordered with finality. They were words given unmistakably, from a High Lord to a subject. Filled with enough coldness that Emmett became apologetic.

"Edward, I didn't mean—"

"Go," Edward growled. But he kept his attention on Bella as she quietly seethed.

Her breathing was coming out in puffs that dusted in the cold air before disappearing into the darkness. And sparks were slowly starting to slip from her fingertips.

Thankfully, Emmett decided to listen for once as Edward heard the whoosh of his magic taking him elsewhere.

Effectively leaving Edward with his slowly boiling mate.

"Bella, listen to me—" Edward said, stepping towards her. But she took a step back, more flames edging from her fingers.

The horses scattered.

"Mates," she gasped the word. "How could you keep this from me, after all we've been through? How could you," her voice was deathly calm, but the words caught in her throat. Edward's chest ached to hear it.

He hoped to have controlled the way he would tell her. Edward would have like to do it with care and understanding.

But hearing it from a stranger's lips, that had to hurt Bella more than the shock of the bond itself.

"I kept it from you, yes," Edward said, hand outstretched in hopes of calming her. But her breathing was still heavy; uncontrolled, "But I wasn't going to keep it from you forever, Bella."

"How long have you known?" she asked. And his heart stopped; the answer catching in her throat.

"This conversation can wait. You need to eat and sleep," Edward said instead.

She growled.

"Tell me, Edward," she ordered, "When did you discover we were mates?"

Even if he paused at the anger, Edward's magic sang at the pure command in her voice. "I knew as soon as I held you in my arms. Only an infant then. But I knew," he said, point blank. No hesitation.

"That long," Bella breathed, lips wobbling, "You made me act a fool the entire time. Did everyone else know? Jasper and Alice. Did she…"Bella paused before revealing the final name, "Did Victoria know?"

"I'm sorry," was his answer. Bella pressed her eyes shut at affirmation in his apology.

Yes.

Any Fae would have to be deaf or blind not to see his and Bella's mating bond. And a single tear fell down her cheek as Bella realized the same.

"And you left me thinking I was doomed to love a male I could never have," she murmured.

"No!" Edward growled, "Mating bond or no, I would always have wanted you, Bella. That's why I wanted to wait. Until I was sure, _you_ were ready." He sought to touch her once more. But again, Bella pulled away. And fire shot up to her shoulders. Her entire arms were glowing, ebbing with flesh-peeling heat.

But Edward still grasped her hands.

"No," Bella sobbed more than anything when he finally touched her, "You don't get to touch me right now. You left me wondering, day in and day out. I always wondered when you would find her and discard me!"

Her.

Every muscle seized at the agony in her voice. Bella thought he would find another. His beast rumbled at the thought.

"Bella, love. I never would have. Never." His knees wobbled with the pain in her face, her eyes.

"How could you not tell me?" she said a bit softer, "We were supposed to share everything. Why would you have kept something so integral from me?"

"Tell me what to do to make this right," Edward begged, trying to keep his desperation leashed.

"Tell me why you wanted to keep it from me. The truth, Edward," Bella said. Furious tears now running down her cheeks. They almost evaporated from her skin her fire was burning so hot. Edward's magic rumbled at the sight of his mate in pain. Even worse, he had caused it.

And the agony of knowing that, it was more excruciating than all of Victoria's torture.

"I was afraid you couldn't accept me," he admitted, "Don't you see? I am no longer your Prince of light from the Spring Court, Bella. You say you were always afraid that my mate was someone else? Well, I was afraid you would think your mate was left in that spring court. That you fell in love with him instead of the real me."

She shook her head.

"And beyond that," Edward continued, "There are risks to being the mate of the most powerful High Lord in history. I hoped in keeping our bond from you, perhaps I could keep you from those dangers as well."

"But it was more than that, wasn't it?" she said, and he blinked at her tone, "You wanted to protect me from even this. You did the same thing in the Spring Court. And even after I proved myself in front of Victoria, you still made this decision for me." Bella finally moved past him to retrieve her horse, but Edward shot after her.

"Bella—no," he pled, utterly desperate for her to stay as he stopped her from mounting her steed. Edward couldn't watch someone he loved leave him. Not again. "Please, don't go. Let me explain."

She sucked in a breath, just as their eyes met. "I want to know what you fought so hard to hide, Edward. What you hid from me, and what Victoria was so eager to take. I want to see it all."

"I want nothing more than that."

"Then show me," Bella said, "Take me to the Night Court. Your true court."

He nodded quickly, steeling enough of his magic to give her what she wanted. And it obeyed, only for her.

"Hold on," Edward warned. And with one final breath, he grabbed her hand and willed them both home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They landed in a house full of light. And it seemed Bella's stomach was tenfold stronger than Edward's. Because he collapsed as soon as they hit ground.

"Where are we?" his mate murmured, warily stepping into her surroundings. Edward surveyed the same, taking in the quaint little townhouse, one filled with warmth and familiarity.

"I don't know," he said. Because Edward couldn't give her a definitive answer. He was unsure of where exactly his magic had brought them.

But all those thoughts left his head as Bella's eyes fell on the door. She wanted to leave.

"Bella, wait" Edward heaved, looking up to see her feet were aimed at leaving. Bella paused.

"This was a bad idea. I think I need some time….to think," she said, barely turning to glance at him.

"No. Please stay," Edward groaned as he stood. Only then did he fully take in the furniture and wall paper, the noises on the street; desperately trying to figure that out just where he had brought them so Bella would stay.

While winnowing, Edward had merely thought of love and safety. What he wished to wrap Bella in from now until they parted in death. But who knew where his magic connected those feelings with?

And then it clicked. The walls, the furniture, and the damned smell of the place. It all came back to him. It had been so long; his memories of the night court had been skewed by Victoria.

But now Edward finally understood where they were.

Not only were they in the Nigh Court. But the very place where Edward had spent those few months getting to know his sire; meeting the people that would soon become his closest friends.

"I know where we are," Edward murmured, his eyes glazing as he took every inch of it, "This is my mother's home."

Bella spun around at that; her eyes settling with something close to remorse. But she said nothing.

"I don't pretend to deserve it," Edward started, "But will you stay for a moment. I'll try my best to explain everything quickly," he said, gesturing to the kitchen, "Perhaps some food will help make it all a bit easier."

"You always did have an affinity to keeping me fed," Bella said, eyes finally settling on him, "Is that part of…it?" She swallowed, unable to speak the words out loud. Mating Bond.

"Yes," Edward answered her the silent question in her eyes, hesitantly offering his hand. Bella's own palms were still flesh; no flames or sparks to be found. That at least was a good sign.

But instead of taking his hand, Bella deftly moved past him into the kitchen.

Edward blinked at the rejection, but followed to where she stood in the kitchen. Waiting.

"I read some things about mating bonds in the Spring Court," Bella stated, "But I don't fully understand any of it. You'll have to explain it to me," she said flatly. But her hands trailed along the stone countertop where she stood, and Edward would have liked to think her gaze was slightly wistful.

"To begin, mates are rare. Incredibly so," Edward explained, "But you don't even have to accept the bond if you don't want to, Bella."

Her head shot around at that, "You don't want me to accept it?"  
"More than anything," he all but gushed, "But I want to make sure you're comfortable with it first."

"The mating bond," she said, her voice growing thicker.

"Yes," Edward agreed, watching carefully as Bella took a deep breath. So he continued, "It's what binds us. Once you choose to accept it, then the world with be able to sense it as well."

"Sense it? How can others be able to sense something that I'm not sure is even physical?"

"The bond is mental as much as physical. A tether that ties two souls together," Edward said, doing his best to describe the feeling, "And this attachment, it can be felt by others. So much so that any Fae with a lick of magic can sense a mating bond with a mere glance at the pair."

Bella let out a deep breath at that, "What or who exactly decides who is mated? Is it random? Or is there purpose behind it?"

"Both," Edward sucked in a breath; trying to find the right words. She turned her brows up at him.

"Some think the gods have a say in the paring," Edward said, "Or perhaps the strings of fate themselves make the ties."

"You told me your mother and father were mates. But they also hated each other. How could that be?" Bella stated with the crossing of her arms. Now it was Edward turn to advert his eyes.

He instead took the opportunity to search for some food to fix. And sure enough, after a few seconds of rummaging in the pantry, Edward found a few cans of soup.

"Some pairs or more suited than others," was all he said. Bella did not answer as he hurried his search for a pot. But alas, he was coming up empty.

And it was his mate's next words that made Edward go deathly still.

"The night of Antearrach," Bella murmured, "That was your real self. You were protecting your mate, and I didn't even know it."

Edward stood upright, slowly. And as when turned, he found her eyes wide with understanding.

"Yes," he breathed, scared the affirmation would make Bella run out of his life for good. But she stayed put.

"The ritual allowed myself to break free of the curse," he continued, "Everything else was I said or did that night was pure instinct."

"The part of you that Victoria concealed, you mean," she said.

"That…part of my appearance was what my father hated. I was the living proof that my mother had been unfaithful. I was her bastard son who was still more powerful than her husband and his own sons." He could feel her eyes on him. Even as he clicked on the stove to warm the pot.

"Why did you stay in the Spring court if it's High Lord resented you? You could have gone anywhere," Bella asked.

"I loved my mother dearly," Edward shrugged, only to rid himself of the weight of the memory. How his mother was a glorified prisoner in her own home. How her mate was the one that caged her in the first place, "I couldn't leave her there alone. Even if I called her mate my father. Only because he raised me. But it was not a childhood filled with love."

"But surely your mother loved you."

"She did," Edward nodded, turning his attention to finding a can opener. His magic was still weak, or else he would have done it himself. He found one in the drawer next to the sink. Just where he remembered.

"I was her son, but as the son of a High lord, there was certain expectations. So I was sent away for my combat training. Something my father ensured was particularly grueling for me. But I was thankful for it. The war camps made me tough enough to survive whatever the world threw out me. There among fellow bastards and out casts, I was taught the art of killing in case battle came."

"And what happened?" Bella's voice was quiet, far away, as Edward relived the horrors that was the 500 year war. He remembered the ache of not knowing if his brothers—as cruel as they were—would survive. If his men or his friends would survive. If their world would survive.

"My father got his wish," Edward breathed, "The five-hundred-year war came as the humans rebelled. I saw it as my final chance to prove myself worthy to him. Over and over, I tried to fit into the mold he wanted for me. I led his army better than his own sons. I fought alongside the humans against Victoria and her demons."

"Until the treaty was signed and your ancestors were given their part of the continent. Only after I returned to the Spring Court, discovering that my brothers had not survived battle, did my mother sit me down and tell me of my true lineage."

"That must have not been easy for her," Bella said as Edward finally cracked open the can. It was the loudest sound in the cabin. But he made quick work of emptying their continents into the heated pot.

"None of it was easy," Edward admitted, back still turned to her, "I was of course, shocked to find that I wasn't supposed to be light and goodness at all. I was no son of the Spring Court. And with each year if became more apparent. Instead, I was darkness and power and shadow. Finally, the world made sense to me. Why I was so powerful, so different than my brothers or father. It was the fact that my High Lord wasn't my sire at all."

"What did you do?"

"I went to the Night Court. And I met my true sire," Edward steadied himself, concentrating on stirring their soup, and not the way Bella's breathing hitched with each truth he exposed, "And I saw everything I had been told as a child by my father; of how the Night court my mother came from was a savage land, that she was lucky to get out. All of it was a lie."

"Then why didn't you stay there? Why go back to the Spring Court?" Bella asked.

"My mother became very ill after the war," Edward said, and still after so long, his chest still heaved with the words.

"No one knew why, since she was still in the prime of her life. But I knew my father had something to do with it. He sensed my mother was still in love with the now High Lord of the Night Court. She always had been."

Bella said nothing as Edward continued,

"But when my sire died, he left behind the Night Court without a Lord. Soon, it became apparent that I was his only heir. But the last thing my mother's mate wanted was for me come into my throne. Because only then I could oppose him and leave, taking my mother along me."

"Is that when Victoria—" Bella sucked in a breath, unable to finish the sentence. Edward nodded.

"My father didn't care we had fought against her and her armies in the War. He hired Victoria and her spell book to rid me of my magic, slowly. I suppose my father didn't care he was aligning with a banished war criminal. She was his only way of getting back at the male that had won his mate's heart."

Edward kept his back turned as he revealed one horror after the other. He listened to Bella's quiet breathing as he stirred their soup. For it would be too much to look in his mate's eyes to see the disgust there. The disgust of his retched past.

"It happened slowly over the years," Edward spoke quieter, "Until my true self was nothing but a memory. Left behind was the male you saw in the painting at the Spring Court. My father had the piece commission, even though my mother was nearly gone by that time. A trophy to his success. My mother died shortly after it was made."

"Edward, I'm so sorry," Bella finally spoke. It was then he felt a soft hand on his arm.

"It's been so long," he said, his stirring pausing to take another breath, "Only after she passed, was when the real torture happened. Victoria had nearly succeeded in removing all my magic. My father was ecstatic that his greatest threat would be finally eliminated. My death wasn't enough. He wanted to watch my painful downfall."

"What stopped it?" Bella asked, and Edward finally found her eyes.

"You were born."

Bella blinked, and they both knew what Edward meant. With Bella's birth, and their mating bond, it became impossible for Edward to lose all his magic. No matter how much Victoria took, Bella was at the other end of the bond, refilling the void.

"My father drove himself insane not knowing what was holding them back," Edward turned back to their meal preparation, "Victoria tried to torture the answers out of me. But I didn't quite know myself. I had no idea that my mate had come into the world. That you were unknowingly the source of my salvation."

"How did you find out?" Bella asked; her voice barely above a whisper. Edward let out a deep sigh.

"One night, Victoria offered herself to me. She promised the torture would end if only I took her bed. I refused. I had no good reason to, but something deep inside was repulsed by the mere thought of taking another female."

"Is that when she cursed you?" Bella murmured, "Because you refused her. Because of me?"

Edward nodded, watching as the soup slowly started to steam. But he could not look at Bella. "More or less." The words were nonchalant, because if he let the horrors of his past consume him, there would be no end.

"Oh gods, Edward," Bella whimpered, and he turned to watch a single tear roll down her cheek. "You've given up too much for me. For your people," she said.

"And I'd do it all over again." he said, for it was true.

"I'm sorry," she finally stepped forward to take his hand, and Edward became all too aware of the space between him. Bella was warmth and fire and he wanted nothing more than to let her burn away every scrap of darkness inside him.

But she deserved to hear it all; from his lips.

"But I did learn who you were. Victoria sensed it as much as I did, that you were the game changer she hadn't accounted for. So I followed the bond to the human realm," he said, turning back to the stove.

"I knew you were demi-Fae as soon as I saw you. It was apparent enough in the connection between us," Edward explained, "I told your father one day our race would claim you as our own. Every day, I fought against that law with every part of me. To keep you from Victoria; from the desolation of my life."

"But I never could stay away," he sighed, and Bella clenched his hand, "Our bond was proof of everything Victoria hated. Her own weakness, her sister's betrayal. She cursed me so I could feel as desolate as her. But not even that could stop me from finding you. And as soon as I saw your face. I knew we were true mates."

"But I kept it from you, hating the Gods for fating us," Edward said, "I was furious by the mere thought of my destiny being written. Every turn of my life had already been planned. And I didn't want one more empty promise."

"Is that why you kept it from me for so long?" Bella murmured, "You didn't want it?" her voice was soft with sadness.

And the sound was enough to snap Edward from his daze. And he was heartbroken to find Bella's cheeks wet with tears.

"I was a fool, Bella," he said, and thankfully she did not dispute as he brought her to his chest. She clutched at his arms, and he hushed her sobbing.

"As soon as I saw the woman you were, I fell in love with you. That was when everything changed," he revealed, his own voice growing thick. Bella looked up with him with wet eyes. "Really?"

He nodded.

"I would have moved mountains for us to be together. Even back then. I just didn't want to burden you with any of it. For even if Victoria is gone—" the name turning vile on his tongue, "There will always be threats against you. You are my only weakness, Bella. And others will try to exploit that."

"I don't care. We will take on any threats together," she said, a new spark of heat reaching her eyes, and melting away her tears. And Edward knew more than anything else, that she meant the words with all her heart.

"But what I was really afraid of," Edward said before sucking in a breath, "Was the fact that perhaps the Gods did get it wrong. You are too good for me, Bella. You belong with that male that my father and Victoria made, not the male I am," Edward finally revealed. Managing to finally look down at her.

Bella sniffled lightly, but she narrowed her eyes at him, "No offense," she said, "But that is the dumbest thing you've ever said, Edward Cullen."

He huffed at that. Bella took his face between her hands; effectively forcing his eyes to hers.

"I would have always loved you, no matter what form you took," she ran her eyes along his form to make the point clear, and Edward's blood heated for it, "But I will have you know, that I always saw something more than the male I met at that Spring Court. Nothing could have stopped me from loving you,"

Edward nodded at that, aiming to return to their soup, but Bella jerked his face back to her.

"Hey! I mean it," she ordered sternly. "Enough so, that even when I was starving—knowing I had to feed my entire family as well as myself—there was always something deeper that kept me going. Whenever I wanted to give up, our bond wouldn't let me," she said softly, and every muscle inside Edward stilled as his mate continued.

He hardly knew he was breathing while as her hands left his skin. And he could do nothing but listen as Bella said even quieter,

"When I was alone in the human realm, sleeping in a bed surrounded by my sisters, yet feeling completely lost at the same time, I felt you. Not quite knowing what I was feeling, you were on the other end. And I knew someone out there felt exactly as I did. Lost and wandering. But hopeful at the same time."

Her brown eyes went watery as they settled on him, and Edward had never been in more awe of the woman across from him; of her strength.

She only continued, "Even when I was in the Spring Court, feeling useless and human among you all, I took comfort in that feeling. The same thing that always kept me company in the human realm. It made me feel welcome in your world."

"And on Antearrach—" Bella turned over his palm to trace the lines there, eyes distant as if she was trying her best to conjure the memory, "I think that was when I felt it the most; felt you the most. Because even after those retched faeries tried to take me, you were there—"

"I still need to hunt them down and teach them the value of manners," Edward said, a growl starting in his throat at the memory, but Bella silenced him with a hush.

"You finally made me feel like a person again, Edward Cullen," she smiled, "That mysterious, dark, cunning male that I didn't even know at the time. You teased me and made me forget that I was an outsider. Even if you looked like the embodiment of death. And I was scared yet aroused on at the same time—" she teased, as Edward managed a chuckle—"You made me feel as if there was something beautiful in being different. That there was still more out there for me, only if I was brave enough to look for it," it was then she placed his hand over her heart. And he reveled in the sure beat of it.

"And that feeling that I once thought was pulling me somewhere or towards something, that night I knew instinctively—" Bella's eyes finally flicked to him, "That it was always pulling me towards you."

Edward let out a heavy breath, spreading his fingers where Bella held his palm to her chest. And he did his best to memorize the sound. Matching his own. The very heart she had resurrected in him, even when all hope was lost.

His pair in every way. His beautiful, breathtaking, but wickedly strong and stubborn Bella.

His mate.

"And what do you feel now?" Edward asked carefully.

There was a hint of a smile on her lips as she drew closer, stopping only until she was a breath-width away.

"I don't pretend to understand everything you've gone through," she said softly, "But I see you behind it all, Edward. And no matter the curses or spells, I have always found it easy to love you. Light and darkness alike."

He shuddered out a breath. But his relief turned to knee-shaking heat as he watched his mate reached behind him to fill a bowl with steaming soup.

"So, will you eat with me?" Bella asked, handing him his own dish, spoon and all.

Edward carefully took it, but paused as Bella took her own heaping spoonful.

He was mesmerized as she slowly bringing it to her mouth, humming around the warmth before she swallowed.

Edward let out a growl at the sight.

No magic or tricks between them like in the Spring Court; his mate finally eating a meal he had prepared himself.

And even if Bella knew it or not, with that final act, the bond was solidified between them.

A bond once veiled by Victoria, then broken by the same. And then repaired by Edward.

Was now at full power between him and Bella.

And even after all of that, Edward could do nothing but blink as his mate quirked a brow at him, and licked her lips.

"That is why I gladly accept our bond. And now, I'd like to share a life together as nothing but your mate."

Edward beamed at that, by-passing his bown of soup in favor of her lips. And even if the kiss was soft and nothing but chaste, there was promise and hope within it. Of a life filled with nothing but happiness.

Bella hummed again, as if she felt the same. But before Edward could even slip his tongue along her sweet, sweet lips, Bella pushed at the bowl that remained in his hands.

"No. I want to see you eat now," she said, "Fairs fair, after all. For you've been making sure I've been fed for far too long. Now it's my turn," she said with an easy smiled. And Edward knew he would be content to have his mate smile at him for an eternity.

"I agree," he smirked, "But I must warn you, I have many other appetites that only you can feed," he winked as Bella's face heated.

And before she could say anything else, Edward obeyed his mate and brought the soup to his mouth and finished it in one gulp, broth and all.

Because now he had a far different meal in mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	24. Chapter 24

"So what would you like to see first?" Edward asked as he took the empty bowl from her hands. He could feel Bella's eyes watching him as he placed the dishes in the sink.

"I don't know. I would enjoy a tour of the city, perhaps you could then introduce me to your other mysterious friends," she said seriously.

"Would you prefer for this to happen immediately?" he asked darkly.

Her eyes flashed wider at his tone, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we could perhaps forfeit those plans in favor of something else," Edward made a show of looking her up and down. Bella was leaning against the opposite counter, surveying him as much he was her.

Her dress was blood-stained from the mess that had happened just hours ago. Her arms had dirt from where those foul Faeries had touched her.

But Bella was still beautiful. Her face still had that healthy flush Edward would always yearn to touch. Lips as pink as the sweetest flower. Eyes as molten as a burning fire.

And Edward couldn't help his thoughts from drifting to acts far different than tours or introductions.

"Like what?" she asked. Edward licked his lips before feigning a shrug.

"Something that I'd think you agree is long since past due."

"Oh?" Bella murmured, flicking up her brows in wait.

"How about a bath? It would give us a chance to start out our new lives with a clean slate. Wouldn't you agree?" Edward asked brightly.

"Oh," she slackened a bit, clearly expecting him to suggest what they were both thinking. He hid a smile.

Edward knew very well what had been on her mind, because it had never left his. To lie together at last and perhaps lick the dirt from her skin himself.

But a bath was not altogether a bad idea, either. Both of them smelled like that dungeon and death, Edward most of all.

Yes. A bath sounded like a good option.

"Unless of course, you were thinking of another act?" Edward asked sweetly. Bella narrowed her eyes at his game. Like she knew his plan before Edward had even hatched it himself.

Clever mate.

"A bath does sound really nice," Bella said cheekily, "Where is the washroom?"  
"This way," Edward said, offering her his hand. She took it willingly, but her eyes were wary. Careful. She sensed the grin hiding beneath Edward's chivalrous charade.

"This house is beautiful," Bella spoke instead, as he led her down the cozy hall. Priceless pieces of art hung on the walls, and impressive antique furniture filled the rooms.

Anything his mother fancied at the time she spent in her home court, she bought. And now the collection served as a living memory of her after death.

"Glad you like it," he smiled, "My mother furnished it herself."

"She had good taste," Bella said, Edward aware that she was perhaps making small talk.

"Yes. She did. And that's how I know she would have loved you," Edward said as he faced her, and Bella's eyes turned impossibly soft. The comment left them both speechless as they stopped in front of the bathroom door.

Edward waited.

"I would have been lucky to meet her," she finally said. He did well to swallow back the emotions her words brought forth, but his mate caught the rather pained expression on his face before he pushed past it.

"Well, here it is," he announced, gesturing to the door, "Towels should be under the cabinet. The tub works like the one you used in the Spring Court." Edward said, quickly turning on his heel before he suggested helping her work much more than the water-spout.

"Wait," Bella called after him. Edward turned with upturned brows, but his beast crooned.

"Could you perhaps stay for a second? I will need help unlacing the dress," her face was surprisingly calm.

"Of course." He opened the door, the bathroom as white and sparkling as he recalled.

But Edward didn't take in the décor, not fully. He was all-too-aware of Bella's breathing. Even though her face showed no hinting as to her thoughts, her usually steady chest was moving at an irregular speed. Was she as anxious as him?

"Let me turn on the water first," he swiftly bent over the porcelain tub to the copper spicket that would bring the water forth. Yet every movement, from his legs to his fingertips, he felt Bella watching him. It made his skin prick and his beast groan.

And the tension between them grew suddenly thicker and thicker.

"Thank you," she murmured, her voice mixing with the sound of the water splashes.

Edward nodded, holding out his hand under its spray to make sure it was the proper temperature.

"That should be good," he said. But when he stood upright, he found Bella's over-frock already gone; her corset and her underslip the only thing between seeing her naked.

Edward went speechless at the sight of such undress. And thanks to the gods, her back was turned so she couldn't see his shock.

For he had originally planned on making his mate fumble herself. Edward had plans to tease Bella with careful touches and innuendo. Nothing too serious or heavy, only to give whatever pressure that resided between them a chance to dissipate.

But now it became deathly obvious how severely in over his head he was.

When it was clear Edward wasn't going to move or speak, Bella glanced at him from over her shoulder. Her dark hair fell like a curtain over her back as she quirked a brow at him. "Well? Are you going to help or not?" she said before gathering her hair; effectively revealing the series of laces of which she spoke. "I think this corset starts at the bottom if you would."

Edward nodded even though she had already turned forward so she couldn't see him. His eyes found the tie of the corset she spoke of. It was the only thing between him and seeing his mate bare.

"Found it," Edward announced like an idiot, his fingers unsteady as he undid the first knot. The bodice immediately loosened, and Bella let out a shuddered breath.

"Are you all right?" he asked, measuring her skin, her breathing. Everything.

But her heartbeat remained calm, if not slightly nervous.  
"That just always feels good. Like a relief to again finally breathe freely."

Edward huffed out a breath, moving his fingers further upwards, loosening each lace in the process. And with each passing second, the garment parted from Bella's skin; her breathing easing along with it.

"I will never understand why you women torture yourself with corsets," he said. Bella scoffed in return.

"Would you prefer I go without? What would everyone think of the High Lord's mate showing herself in such dishabille?" she teased, but Edward had heard nothing past one word.

Mate.

To hear her say it out loud made his beast growl.

"It would be a sight to be sure," he said, forcing himself to concentrate on the task at hand.

Even if Edward wanted to do nothing but ravish Bella then and there; to rip instead of untie, to ravish instead of merely assist.

But they had been through so much with the curse and Victoria. And there was no rush for that side of things to unfold.

They had plenty of time.

At least, that was what he would keep telling himself.

"But you could wear a paper bag, and you would still look beautiful," Edward answered honestly.

Bella laughed suddenly, clear and melodic as the sound sparked everything inside of him. But Edward could only watch as the top of her corset sagged to reveal her chest.

"If this is what mate-hood is like, having a male bend to your beck and call while showering you with compliments, I can't understand why anyone would ever refuse."

Edward smiled as she looked back at him. But his grin faltered as she turned to shimmy the remainder of her bodice down her hips.

Now she only stood in her shift.

"Do you wish any further help of mine?" he asked rather thickly.

"Perhaps," Bella sucked in a breath before facing him, and he couldn't help but gulp at the sight.

Even still in her blood tatter and dirt stained undergarment, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"The slip," she murmured, "It also has a tie I always have trouble reaching. Would you mind?"

"Not at all," Edward nodded with a swallow.

Bella turned back around as he quickly undid the bow. And with shrug of her shoulders. She was in nothing but her lace undergarments.

Edward stifled a groan as he took in her newly revealed skin. It was the color of palest porcelain where the sun could not darken it. And he couldn't help but brush his fingers where the blades of her shoulders met.

Bella shivered at his touch, and he was quick to right himself.

"I'm sorry, I promised you a bath," he said his eyes dragged upwards, but he caught a glimpse of her behind beneath the lace underwear. It swelled the width of her hips, round and pert and just begging for him to touch.

It was Bella's giggle that snapped him from his trance, "Edward, you honestly think I invited you in here just for your help?"

He finally met her eyes as she turned, and as he did, he caught sight of her breasts. Perfect in every way, her nipples already peaked under the thin fabric of her sling. They were practically pleading to be tasted.

"I didn't know what you wanted," he murmured.

Yes, Edward had known that his mate might have had ulterior motives, because Bella had always known what she wanted.

But he never expected her to seduce him. He had imagined it the other way around actually. That Edward would be the smirking male, causing his mate to go breathless with desire.

And why couldn't he? For Edward was no longer the polite, perfect Lord of the Spring Court.

No, he was opposite. He was the grinning, cunning Lord of Night who wreaked power and darkness and who had been kept at bay for far too long.

And by the look of his mate's eyes, that was the very male she was now urging to act.

So with a devious smile, Edward decided to give Bella what she wanted, and let the monster finally come out and play.

"And pray tell, what did you want, Bella?" Edward gave her a rougish smirk as he undid his necktie. He was careful to keep his eyes on hers. Even as she swallowed and her throat bobbed enough to picture him running his teeth along that very spot.

"I don't particularly know," she admitted as he stepped closer, "I wanted to wash any remaining stench of that witch from you myself, that I know for sure," her voice was solid with possession, and Edward felt his cock twitch from hearing it.

"I wouldn't want anyone else to," Edward growled, letting his tie drop to the ground.

Bella only watched as he went to the button of his overcoat next. Slowly, her eyes clouded with lust at his undressing.

And when at last the final fabric was drawn free from his body, his mate's mouth parted with a breath.

"I'm sorry, did you want to do the rest?" Edward paused to ask.

Bella's eyes flicked from his chest to his eyes; ignoring his teasing before nodding. "Then I'm all yours," he murmured, taking her hands in his. He brought her left wrist to his mouth and ghosted a kiss where her pulse was the strongest.

"Don't distract me," she said with determined brows, and he let loose a chuckle.

"Sorry, continue."

Bella brought her attention to the next clasp of his undershirt, her fingers surprisingly steady as she undid the buttons; each one revealed more newly tanned skin to her.

Edward merely smiled as he watched his mate undress him. How sickly he must have seemed during the curse. Now his skin was dark enough to offset her paleness perfectly.

Dark and Light.

Night and Day.

Edward's chest rumbled at the thought.

Bella parted the fabric from his shoulders then, her movements light as a feather as the cloth fell from him.

His mate gasped when he finally stood shirtless in front of her. Her eyes went to the numerous scars skittered along his pectorals and abdomen.

Some were from Victoria, some from battle. Most Edward had forgotten about until right then. But none of that mattered as his mate's fingers drifted from each abrasion. Her touch as healing as the most gifted apothecary in the land.

Edward couldn't help but suck in a breath as her fingers drifted lower. She brushed her thumb along each and every mar on his flesh. And when she reached the one just above the line of his trousers, his cock sprung in recognition.

But Bella's hands rose higher then, along the sides of his torso, then to the muscles of his back before she reached his shoulders. Exploring, it seemed.

"Am I adequate enough for you, mate?" Edward smirked down at her. Bella paused.

"Don't let it go to your head," she replied. He was about to laugh when she suddenly scratched her nails down his back. And that laugh turned into a groan.

"Devious mate," he smiled. Her eyes were filled with intent. Full of possession and challenge. Edward growled, "Then would you like to do the final honors?" His own grasp settled to her upper back; where the buttons of her breast sling held fast.

"Together?" she asked, and Edward nodded. Her fingers went to the fly of his trousers, and his cock hardened in mere anticipation.

But instead of Edward ridding Bella of her undergarment. He crashed his lips to hers.

She groaned against the ferocity, Edward only grasped harder. Sending every ounce of lust and desire into one searing kiss.

And then they were falling. Just as Edward's pants fell to his ankles, they were careening backward right towards the open tub.

He had enough time to deftly step out of his remaining clothing, even as Bella shrieked in surprise.

The warm water hit his back before crashing around them like a wave. Both he and Bella were soaked to the bone. But she was the only one whose eyes were wide with shock as Edward started laughing.

"You did that on purpose!" she cried, playfully slapping his shoulder as she pushed from his side. Edward only laughed harder.

Bella righted herself into a sitting position. But his body remained sprawled the width of the tub.

"Self-indulgent ass," she said as she shoved a wall of water towards him. He stopped laughing to give her a broad grin.

"Sorry, love, I couldn't resist."

"You scared me. I thought I was going to hit my head and die naked in some insufferable male's arms," she grumbled with the folding of her arms. A move that made her breasts rise beautifully.

"Come here," Edward tugged her to his side before pressing his lips against her neck. She couldn't help but soften slightly, "I'm sorry for startling you. Perhaps I can make it up to you," he murmured low. Bella gave him a rather unimpressed look.

"Keep this up, and I will kick you out and bathe by myself," she threatened, but a smile was starting to form.

"Thad doesn't sound too fun at all," he chuckled, his eyes falling on her soaked undergarments. And his blood heated to see what lie beneath.

"I mean it."

"No, you don't mean that," he hushed against her ear, smirking when her breathing hitched, "Because you can't do this by yourself," Edward took her lobe into his mouth. His hands cupping her right breast. The weight of them rested perfectly in his hand.

Bella gasped at his touch. He pulled her that much closer.

The water was still running, effectively concealing their lower halves. During the fall, most of the water had splashed out, which gave Edward the opportunity to lavish his mate before the water filled to conceal her body from him entirely.

"You don't know that," Bella breathed, still determined to argue even as her voice was laden with need.

Edward moved his exploration to her peaks, tracing around each nipple before taking both between his thumb and forefinger. She arched against his touch.

"Oh, I think I do," Edward rasped. His eyes drank in her form heavily, finding her too far away.

"Tell me then," she ordered just as Edward hiked her into his lap. But he was careful to keep her high above what they both knew was waiting.

But alas, the new position left Bella's breasts eye level. Exactly where Edward wanted them.

"Because you cannot bring yourself the pleasure I intend to bring you right now," he said before taking a soft peak into his mouth.

Bella groaned loudly, arching that much more as Edward's fingers teased her other breast.

His tongue continued to swirl around her pert nipple, unable to count the number of dreams he imagined what Bella's breasts would taste like ... what every inch of her would taste like.

And Edward was determined to find out.

He moved to her mouth, plunging in his tongue to the sound of the coursing water. Bella pressed herself that much closer, wrapping her hands around his neck as she gave herself to the kiss.

Edward let his palms rove down her back before he found her behind. And tracing over the water-logged lace that still covered the skin there, she shivered.

Her hips started to move in desperate need of friction, the remaining lace undergarment rubbing against his abdomen.

But Edward would not let allow her hips to shift any lower than his stomach. Bella whimpered for it.

"Just wait, my love," he parted enough to silence her pouting. And just when Bella was about to object, he hiked her even higher.

She yelped at the sudden movement, Edward hoisting her to sit on the tiled edge that surrounded the tub.

Her throne it seemed, as he perched Bella there. Because Edward was about to thoroughly worship her.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously. He only grinned as his hands grasped around her lower thighs, parting them to reveal her lace-covered core.

"Are you cold?" he asked, trailing his palms up and down her calves. She shook her head. Edward realized the stupidity of him asking. Her magic would forever keep her warm; able to heat their entire world with her magic if she wished.

Thusly, the room was starting to fill with steam. Not from the temperature of the water, but from Edward making his mate burn with desire.

He grinned at the thought, taking Bella's right foot from the water to kiss it. Then he placed it over his shoulder, making her lean against the wall as he took her other foot.

He hushed his lips over the arch, making her groan of pleasure before Edward placed that too, behind him.

Sure enough, the room was beginning to steam. The mirror fogged and the windows went clouded with mist. And as Edward observed his mate, he found the water starting to evaporate from her very skin.

So he let his shadow magic come out to play. He could feel his powers returning to him with each second that passed.

But he did nothing more than let his cool mist push against Bella's hot steam. Cooling her.

And when he was satisfied he had kissed every part of her legs, Edward brought Bella closer until her knees were bent over his shoulders.

And she must have finally caught on, as her eyes went hooded with lust. Yet Edward gave her no time to dispute as he hauled her hips just inches from his face.

"I think you'd agree these have to go." He ran a finger along the seam of her underthings. Bella let out a shuddering breath as his other hand came to the opposite side.

And with one firm tug, he ripped them in half. And threw them behind him.

"You're so gorgeous like this," he fell back on his heels to behold her. She was panting, with mouth open, eyes burning as she watched him too.

And there was no embarrassment as Bella remained completely spread and waiting. Only for him.

Something that might have been a snarl rumbled from Edward's chest as he dragged a thumb along her center.

She whimpered from the touch. Her entire body shaking when he brought that same finger to her bundle of nerves.

She yelped suddenly, and he only smiled. He felt brazen and dangerous with his mate finally displayed to him as if she was a platter. It drove him wild with absolute hunger.

And feast on her, he would.

Edward tugged her to the edge of the tub without warning. Bella managed a gasp before he brought his mouth to finally taste her.

And Gods how she tasted better than he could have ever imagined. So much so, Edward couldn't help but growl at her essence, clutching the flesh of Bella's thighs like a starving man.

Because he was.

Edward licked at Bella fiercely, each lap of his tongue bringing his mate to shudder and sigh above him.

Her heels dug into his back, urging him on as her moans were like absolute music to his ears. And urge on Edward would, as he slowly inserted a finger inside her.

Bella jolted with a cry, and he looked up to find her watching him. He smiled again; slowly and knowingly as he moved that digit inside her.

"Edward," she finally whispered, the edge of a climax revealing itself in her voice.

But he was far from done with her yet. He would revel in her completely before they were finished.

So Edward's hands moved to her hips, bringing her closer than ever before.

And then she started to move against him.

He hummed in encouragement, feeling his manhood twitch with desire.

"I'm so close," she gasped above him. Her hands delved into his hair to steer her own pleasure. That was when Edward brought her clit into his mouth. And sucked.

"Oh Gods," Bella cried suddenly, shattering around him as her entire body shook. Edward continued his ministrations even as her climax had long since consumed her.

He pushed a second finger in, curling it against that special spot inside of her.

And sure enough, one wave of her orgasm rolled into the other, and like a great tsunami, Bella was sent into her second with nothing but his name on her lips.

Edward let her ride it out completely, humming at her muttering of his name until she was left panting' her legs still draped over his shoulders as she fought to catch her breath.

And when he finally parted with a rather satisfying grin, he saw where Bella's eyes resided.

His mate had burned so fiercely, she had evaporated the entire tub, effectively leaving Edward's lower half naked to her stare.

He hadn't even felt the water leave them. The room was that hot.

"It looks like a bath won't be happening after all," Edward smirked. Bella's eyes met his with unadulterated heat.

"Can't say that I'm upset."

But she could say nothing else as he took her into his arms. Bella shrieked for the third time. But this one playful as she started to laugh with his hurried movements.

Edward's heart almost burst to hear it.

"I hope you're laughing because you almost boiled me in the tub with your magic, and not because of you have finally found something inadequate of me," Edward teased as he stepped out opened the bathroom door. She shook her head with a glittering giggle.

"Not at all. Can't I just be laughing because I'm happy?" Bella smiled up at him, her eyes crinkled with nothing but joy.

And Edward couldn't help but stop to stare. Her lips were spread over her white teeth, while her face scrunched with each fit of laughter. It was a miracle he was able to open the door at all.

"That's the only excuse I'll allow," he said, Edward finding the adjacent bedroom from magic alone.

It was his old room. The room was his when he stayed in the Night Court. And as he placed his mate on the bed he had slept so many nights alone and confused in, he couldn't help but remember everything he had sacrificed for this very moment.

And all of it was worth to see his mate smiling, naked, waiting for him.

"Although now I can brag that I brought my mate so much pleasure she actually turned into a living sun to burn everything around her," Edward growled.

Bella only laughed harder, and he took the opportunity to survey her bare body.

She was breath-taking. Soft and absolutely intoxicating to look at.

Edward noticed a few water droplets had managed to remain on her heated skin. They clung to her shoulders, her breasts. And as Edward lowered himself to extract a few with his lips, Bella's laughter drifted into a sigh.

He was reminded of the first time he felt such brazen desire for his mate. Perhaps when he had found her soaked and cold after she had been caught in the greenhouse sprinklers.

Gods, it felt like eons ago.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella placed a warm hand on his cheek, effectively bringing Edward back into the present. And what a present it was.

He kissed her palm, finding her gaze questioning, "I was thinking of the first time I saw you wet in that greenhouse. I was so overcome with desire that I ran away," he chuckled.

She gave him a wide smile, her own giggle bursting forth. "I remember that. I remember seeing you even with your gray skin and hair. I thought you were the most striking creature I'd ever seen."

He hummed as Bella lovingly traced the lines of his face. Edward nipped at her fingertips when they ghosted over his lips.

"I went into the gardens after leaving you," he said, "Trying to fight the need for you like a ravenous animal." He bent to place an opened mouth kiss on her lips. She tasted like fire and wind. A force to be reckoned with.

"And did you fight it?" she quirked a brow as Edward's eyes swept over her body. His answer was stark enough in his gaze.

"No," he smiled, "I grew drunk on the thought of kissing each droplet of water from your skin." he lowered to the center of her chest, and licked each trickle of water that fell there, "Like this."

Bella's breathing increased, "Really?" she gasped, fighting her desire with every ounce of herself as he spent particular time making sure each breast was now dry.

Edward rose to give her a devious smirk, "That was when I couldn't deny it any longer. Right then and there, I knew you were mine. As much as I was yours."

"Mine," she hummed, "That sounds good to me."

"It surely can't compare to the sight of you like this," he drawled; trailing a finger down her stomach, content to find her eyes hooded with lust.

"Tell me," she asked for the third time that day. Edward's eyes dropped to her mouth before flicking to her heavenly eyes. Gods how he would never grow bored of finding them full of love, looking at nothing but him.

"Perhaps some other time," he murmured, "For now I have an inkling to show you instead."


	25. Chapter 25

Her eyes flared with a living flame at his words. But Edward took no time to admire them before lowering to her lips.

Slowly, he pressed his body atop hers. And as they melded together, Edward felt the softness of her breasts, the rigidness of her muscles.

He would always be enchanted by the duality of his mate. She was both delicacy and strength. Gentle but resilient.

He trailed his fingers down her sides, not knowing where to start. He could never touch enough skin, kiss enough flesh.

He felt frantic.

Uncontrollable.

Edward broke their kiss to drag his teeth along her throat; pressing his canines where he felt her lifeblood thrumming most.

As his hands lowered to clutch the flesh of her ass, he wondered what her blood would taste like after being mated. Would she be as sweet as she had been under that mountain? Or perhaps that much richer with the bond newly intact?

But all of that could wait. What his beast longed for was something far different from blood.

Edward longed to be inside her. To feel them merge as one until it felt like his only purpose became her pleasure.

"What do you want from me, Bella?" Edward rasped against her shoulder. His hands had no beginning or end as they rose to tease her breasts, her sides.

She shivered.

But she gave no answer besides that. And knowing he caused his mate to go speechless made his beast growl. A sound that soon turned into a groan as Bella scraped her nails along his back.

"You know very well what I want," she finally answered, opening her legs to make her point.

His cock twitched against her stomach.

"Really?" Edward teased, but he was struggling to keep his head straight. If he didn't keep their banter, he was afraid he would lose control altogether.

Edward peppered kisses along her jaw, and Bella caught his passing lips. He had been ignoring them, content to taste every part of her before they were finally joined.

But Bella was insistent on a far different plan. And when his mate twinned her hands in his hair and ground against him, Edward growled.

"Let me look at you." He gently parted from her and went onto his knees. And Edward had to catch his breath as he drank in her form from head to toe.

And he memorized it.

Because Gods, was it a sight to behold.

Bella hid no amount of her desire as she gazed up at him with intent eyes. Her lips popped open as she waited.

Edward grinned at her labored breathing, her peaked breasts and clenched stomach moving in accordance. And finally, he dragged his eyes to the wetness between her thighs and he growled at the sight.

"Beautiful," he breathed.

"Are you just going to stare?" Bella opened her legs wider. And Edward gave a low snarl. She was practically dripping for him.

"Devious minx." He scraped a broad hand from her neck to her stomach, satisfied when she let out a shudder.

"Wicked Lord," she returned with a knowing smirk.

Edward trailed lower, tracing her navel. But he made sure to stop before he reached where she wanted him most.

Bella arched her hips in impatience.

"So eager," he tsked, and she scowled at him. But her face changed as Edward swiped a thumb along her wetness.

"Tease," Bella shot right back when he again paused. Edward flashed her his canines as he took hold of her hips.

And with one swift tug, her hot center was met his aching cock.

"Care to feel my own eagerness, mate?" he grinned, pressing against her.

"Like I said. Tease." she narrowed her eyes, but her body told Edward otherwise; that she was enjoying the anticipation as much as he.

For her chest fluttered as he slowly pushed himself inside. He knitted his brows in concentration; his cock filling her inch after inch.

By Gods, the feel of her warmth wrapped around him was nothing he had ever encountered. It was an effort not to slam into her.

His beast wanted the claiming fast and brutal. But Edward had plans to savor his mate completely and thoroughly.

After what felt like moments and eons alike, he was finally seated all the way. The feeling was glorious and agonizing at the same time. And Bella's core seemed to bloom.

"Are you all right?" He waited for her to adjust. He took her hand in his, their fingers twining together.

"Yes. Keep going." Bella let out a long moan, squeezing his palm in urging. And Edward internalized a groan of his own.

But he obeyed, every so carefully pulling out before slowly pushing back in. Bella gasped at the sensation, her brows drawing in concentration.

He paused. Was she in pain?

"Bella, love—"

"Keep going," she interrupted, her hands sliding to grip his forearms. Edward hesitantly kissed her fingertips.

"I love you," he said. And she eased.

"I love you too."

His next thrust, Edward pushed himself even further. Bella closed her eyes as her mouth popped open.

Did it feel good, he wondered? Did humans enjoy the flesh the same as Fae? All the questions were spinning around his mind as Edward carefully watched her reactions.

And he was about to ask again, when she whispered, "Faster. Please."

His beast rumbled its answer. But he remained.

So Bella gave Edward no more leave before rising to kiss him. Her mouth was insistent and commanding; silently ordering him to do what he was burning to. To claim her.

"Let it all go," she said against his mouth. It sounded more like a prayer than anything. There was a surge of relief that he felt at the words. So much so, that Edward allowed himself to kiss her back.

Her tongue was furious against his, and he groaned into her open mouth. Meeting her lips in the savage if not desperate dance.

And then he slammed his hips into her.

Her body jolted upwards from the intensity. But her moan was like nothing he had ever heard.

So Edward did it again. Slowly gaining speed with each increasing stroke.

Bella moaned each time he was fully inside her.

Everything from her breath, her sighs, to her hands, encouraged Edward in the best way: to give her more and more until she was too breathless to say so.

He let out a grunt when her own core started to clench to meet him. And he felt himself become unhinged.

He was struggling to keep his beast's leash held. Edward had been holding it so carefully for so long. But every time his mate whimpered against him, his grip on that lease slipped.

"You're still holding back," Bella breathed into his ear. Her body was flush against him, a leg wrapped around his hip. But still, it wasn't enough.

Edward wanted her closer.

He let out a ragged breath; fighting his instinct not to just barrel into her. But then Bella started to whimper into his neck with each thrust, and he started losing that fight.

He quickened his pace. Bella hushed her lips against his ear. Edward longed to kiss her again, to breathe in her every breath like it was nourishment.

But he was afraid if he did, Edward would consume her completely.

Instead, he hushed over and over, "I love you. And you are mine." In every language he knew, Edward murmured how much he cherished her.

And even if she couldn't understand the words, Bella's muscles seemed to melt further.

Then she tightened her hold. Edward felt the scrape of her teeth along his shoulder. And his heart faltered.

"Gods, it's like I'm catching fire," she murmured, kissing where she had punctured his skin. But her skin remained without flames.

He could only hum his answer. Words escaped him as his beast roared for more. For Edward to give her not just burning pleasure to fester inside, but endless, ever-surging waves to carry her away.

"More," she ordered the same. And by the Gods, he was going to give it to her.

He carefully wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. And finding a new angle, Edward's hips went into overdrive.

They both moaned at the new depth. But Bella cried out when he reached that special place inside her.

"Edward," she whimpered, her hips now meeting him for every thrust. He only went faster.

He was becoming drunk on the feel of her, of the sounds she was making. And Edward realized he was no longer in control. He felt it crash as thoroughly as each stroke he gave.

"Oh!" Bella gasped as he turned them onto his back, bringing his mate astride him.

Her eyes were wide with a mix of shock and hesitation. But he gave no pause before he guided her hips to move.

She softened immediately, and he gave a snarl at the sight ... at the sensation. Now he was reaching deeper than ever before.

Bella slowly found her courage as Edward's eyes grew hooded. He could only stare as she clutched her neck with a gasp, his mate panting as he found new pleasure in their position.

"You're spectacular," he said, Edward's attention dropping to where they joined.

Over and over, he slammed into her. And each time, it brought another glorious sound from Bella's lips.

"I think I'm—" her words shot off with a cry as he grasped her entire weight into his hands, making his own pace.

Her breasts bounced as he drove into her. His stamina somehow increased as he sat up to hold her to his chest; his pace never finding fault.

His mate was nothing but squeaks and whimpers as Edward continued his furious rhythm.

"Bella," he growled into her neck, letting his breath brush the shell of her ear. She shuddered around him. "Now it's your turn to let go," he ordered, feeling his own tightening low in his gut. Edward was so dangerously close too. But he wanted her to go first.

When she said nothing, he brought his thumb between them to rub her bundle of nerves.

"Come for me, love," Edward ordered, taking her lips between his and sucking. She groaned, and his magic came into the thrall then. His mist kissed along every inch of her skin his hands could not.

Bella's breath caught as his invisible magic licked at her breasts, at her neck, that place beneath her ears. Every place he could think of, his mist whispered against as her body slowly neared the edge.

And then Bella started to burn; her body shimmering with the ebbing heat of her impending climax. Her hair began to turn towards flame, and Edward's mist encouraged her to burn that much hotter.

Edward growled as he turned their bodies over again; carefully cocooning Bella in his arms as he laid her beneath him.

He hiked her legs around him, his shadow magic brushing against her brightness. But it was no match as Bella's magic started to burn the bed around them.

The flames created a nest, but Edward felt no burns as he gave his mate everything he had. All his fears, his doubts, his regrets. He wanted her to burn them into oblivion.

Her eyes met his at that moment, the brown of them turning into liquid fire as Edward beheld his mate.

He mashed his lips to hers suddenly; desperate to swallow her very essence. Their tongues and teeth seemed to meld in an inferno of their own.

And then Bella finally spiraled over the edge.

She cried out as her orgasm consumed her; his mate's whole body shaking as she found her climax around him.

Her magic erupted right alongside her, and Edward had to extinguish each fireball with his mist, so they didn't burn down the entire house.

Bella only continued burning. It made her skin white-hot as it created a glowing halo of light around her.

And Edward could do nothing but stare.

Bella watched him too. His mist turning into dark shadow as it swirled between their bodies and mingled within the halo.

And he could help it no longer. The longing made Edward bend and sink his canines into the base of her neck.

His inner Fae beast roared as her taste as it coated his entire senses. She tasted richer and more heavenly than ever before.

So much so, her blood was the final push that sent him spiraling into his own pleasure.

Edward threw his head back as he finally let loose. His magic burst outward, extinguishing Bella's flames in the process.

The townhouse shuddered from the force.

When he gained enough strength, Edward rolled them to the side. He held Bella against him as their breathing started to return to normal.

They both seemed content to listen to Bella's flames pitter out around them. His mist smothered each one with a gentle hiss. Edward didn't care what damage they had caused.

It was worth any singed drapes or furniture to watch his mate come undone.

Edward had to admit he was sad to extinguish them in the first place, but he didn't want her burning down his mother's house on their first stay there.

"Well, that was something," Bella smiled over her shoulder, a bit of her light dimming around her as their pleasure subsided. Edward frowned to see it dissipate.

"That was definitely—" he cut himself off to capture her lips. Bella deepened the kiss, arching her back against him. And just like that, Edward was ready again—"More than something," he growled.

Bella hummed her agreement. She let go of his hand to trail her own along the back of his neck, and she held him there, "Although I would love nothing but to repeat that many times, I think you promised me a tour and introductions."

"Did I?" Edward quirked.

Bella opened her mouth to answer when he pulled her flush against him. He was still inside her, hard and ready once more. Her eyes drooped close with a groan.

"Forget the dumb tour," she breathed. And so they continued with a far different tour. One that also included an alternative set of introductions.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had only stopped after making love in the kitchen. And then again in the bathroom for good measure. Edward only halted when Bella's stomach growled. He had been in the middle of taking her against the marble vanity.

Both resigned to eat again, since they had been at it for hours. And Bella had not realized they had long since burned off their soup with all their exercise.

"You need to get back to your fighting weight," Bella said as she bit a piece of bread. Edward had only just shuffled on some clothes. Only enough to run out to purchase a loaf from the bakery across the street.

She had been sad to see him go. But that had turned into anticipation as Edward displayed a slab of fine looking pork on return.

He had bought it at the nearby butchery. And Bella realized how she could get used to living here with so many places nearby to purchase food.

"What fighting weight? Am I too slender for you?" Edward teased, turning over the loin in the pan. It made a lovely sizzle that sent more heavenly aromas into the air. And Bella's mouth started to water.

But not just from hunger: at the sight of Edward in nothing but a sleep shirt and trousers, cooking for her as if they had been together for decades.

Who knew her mate could cook at all?

But sure enough, Edward seemed at home as he splashed a bit more salt and pepper onto the browning meat.

And suddenly, Bella was ready for round five.

"I didn't mean it that way," she said with a steadying breath. Because Edward was anything but slender. Bella didn't think she would ever get used to his beauty. And that included his perfect body, "All I mean is that Victoria took too much. The Spring Court took too much. Ever since you explained everything, I can see the truth in your appearance."

"And how are you going to see me back to proper physical fitness?" Edward smiled, his eyes eating up her own body. Bella blushed at his stare.

"Hush it you, I'm serious. I would soon see a tan back to your skin, and brightness back to your hair as well. More so than it is now."

"You've thought about this quite a lot, have you?"

"Yes. And for the rest of my days, I would have us well fed, seeing plenty of sun," she said rather sternly. No more starving in a hut for her. And no more gray sky in a foreign court for him.

Edward's brows furrowed, "What do you mean the rest of _your_ days? Don't you mean the rest of _our_ days?"  
"The books I read were clear that demi-Fae are no immortals," she said matter of fact. Even if her heart sank to say it, "There will be a day when I die, Edward. But whatever time I have left, eternity or not. I want to cherish it with you."

"Don't speak of death," he said; his hand clenching on the pan's handle the only sign of stress. "Not on like a day today. And surely not when I am so thoroughly happy."

Bella nodded, but she still felt a grimness in her heart. No matter their happy ending, one thing still remained in the back of her head.

That it would have to end.

Thankfully, a knock interrupted both her and Edward from voicing further thought on the matter.

"Oh Gods," he groaned loudly, turning off the stove burner in a rush. Bella flashed her eyes in question.

"What's wrong? Who is it?"

"It's everyone." Was all he said as he hastily plopped their meal onto a platter. Edward only stopped to give Bella a once over, "Do you wish to change into anything else before meeting them? Because now is the time."

"Them? Who is them?"

"The rest of my court," Edward said, running a hand down his face, "You already met Emmett. Now you have to meet Rosalie. And I bet Jasper and Alice are also with them. All of them will have questions about our future. About marriage and children. I thought I could postpone it further."

She didn't answer. Bella's face only heated at his words.

Of marriage and children. With Edward.

To be honest, she had been so caught up in them being mates she hadn't thought of anything else.

But to hear the dread in his voice, that made her face burn hotter.

"Do you not want any of those things?" she asked hesitantly as he stalked out of the kitchen towards the door. His head shot back to her.

"Gods, of course, I do! I want all of it. But only if you do too."

Bella swallowed. "Whatever anyone demands we will handle the rest. Now go, answer the door."

He gave her a quick smile, pausing to place his lips on hers, "I love you no matter what," he said, his hand going to the doorknob. "But prepare yourself, love. This bunch is not easy to handle."

"We heard that!" A stern feminine voice called. Most likely, Rosalie.

"Yeah, and we know just what you two were doing before-hand. So don't act all high and mighty now," another voice chuckled. The sound was booming and boastful. Unmistakably Emmett.

Bella had to hide a giggle, as Edward rolled his eyes.

"Ready?"

"Ready," she grinned just as Edward retched open the door.

And sure enough, standing on the doorstep was Emmett, and a blonde female. Jasper and Alice behind them.

"Took you long enough!" Emmett threw his hands up, and Edward shot Bella a secretive smile.

She only turned to the lot of them, letting out a breath as she prepared for the new chapter in her life. And eternity or not, she vowed not to take a minute of it for granted.

And as sure as Bella kept that in mind, her slice of happiness would be long enough indeed.


End file.
